Christmas Holidays (year 1)
Sirius used to love Christmas.
When he was younger, he and Regulus always went to Uncle Alphards for Christmas, but as they got older, the warmth and comfort of hot chocolate was replaced by fancy family gatherings in scratchy dress robes and french relatives. He didn’t dare imagine how awful this year would be. His mother clearly hated him even more than she did before, but he couldn’t wait to see Reggie again. Somehow when you spent all your time hated by everyone around you, you grew a sort of connection to the few people who didn't. Sirius wondered how Regulus was doing. He still hadn't written him a letter, not one that he had sent anyway, and so in return he hadn't received on either.
"Can I come over then?" Peter was asking. Sirius groaned and turned away, pretending to be busy with something. James, the pratt, wouldn’t shut up about his family dinners and big presents waiting for him in the muggle town, and Sirius was about to punch him in the gut when he caught Remus’ eye.
The small boy looked worried. He was sitting on the floor opposite of the couch that James and Peter were sitting on, and playing with the material on his sweater's sleeve, his eyes glazed over. Sirius felt a small tug in his gut, at the thought that the young nervous boy he'd come to appreciate recently was also worried to go home, especially as he had just arrived back at school from a visit to his mothers yesterday.
“You alright Remus?” he asked quietly, so only he and Remus could hear. Remus didn’t reply; he just kept staring into nothingness with a worried look on his face. Sirius poked him.
“Oi, Rem, what’s wrong?” He whispered, more determined this time. He could almost see how Remus snapped out of his trance as Sirius scooched closer.
“Huh? I....oh...um yes Sirius, I’m fine. Just...nervous to go home.”
Sirius stared at Remus in surprise. The only times he ever talked about his home was when he talked about visiting his mother or that time when he told Sirius he was used to being stared at. Remus seemed to Sirius, as a somewhat mysterious guy and he recognised that Remus must not have really realized what he said. Sirius desperately wanted to ask why Remus was worried to go home, but he didn't want to pry or push. Instead he just pried his eyes away from the other boy and said, “Oh, me too mate, me too."
They sat in silence for a moment and Sirius wished he could know what Remus was thinking. Sirius shifted uncomfortably and before he could say anything wrong to Remus he shouted, “Oi James shut the fuck up ok? No one wants to hear about your mother's stupid quidditch cake!”
Remus winced at the profanity and promptly blushed a few shades, of red which actually gave him a healthier more lively look.
"Oi, watch your mouth!" James replied, which made Peter laugh. Regardless though, after that, he did stop talking about the upcoming holidays and instead resorted to making fun of Peter's charms essay, which the blond boy didn't really seem to appreciate as much as their prior conversation.
Sirius leaned back and rested his head back on the couch they were leaning against, and tilted his neck slightly so that he could still see Remus, whose eyes were now focused on the window, looking outside where they had a perfect vew of the moon and stars.
"Beautiful, ey?" Sirius said quietly. The corner of Remus's mouth twitched, and he turned his head to look at Sirius.
"Hm...-"
"Remus?"
Sirius lifted his head and immediately let loose a long sigh. "Evans."
Lily looked at him distastefully, peering down at him like he was the gum stuck on the bottom of her shoe.
"What are you lot still doing in the common room?" She asked, "Don't you have detention or something?"
"Nope!" Peter called cheerfully.
"Pete, you can't write 'nevertheless on the other hand this means that the meaning is' that's way too long and complicated....and weird." James said, scrunching his nose, while pointing at a parragraph on Peter's essay.
"Sirius said it would make my essay longer."
"Did I lie?" Sirius asked crossing his arms
Lily raised her eyebrows. "And why aren't you lot in detention?"
"Cuz you would miss us too much, Evans," James answered without looking up. Lily blushed, angrily.
"I can't believe the teachers let you get away, with such a disgusting, dangerous, prank!"
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Since when is confetti dangerous Evans?"
"Remus, aren't you going to say something?" Lily pressed, rounding on the small boy.
"Huh?" Remus's head snapped away from the window. "Oh, hey Lily."
"Remus!" Lily whined.
"Come on leave him out of this, he's tired," James said, finally looking over to them. Sirius took a closer look at Remus. He did look tired; his skin was even paler than usual, his eyes were accompanied by dark shadows and he seemed unfocused. Even more unfocused than Sirius had apparently realised.
"What?" Remus asked, blinking at them, and uncrossing his legs.
"Nothing, Rem." James assured him.
"I can't believe you didn't say anything to the professors Remus." Lily said shaking her head.
"What, you want him to turn himself in?" Sirius laughed.
Lily turned towards him. "Well, I never said that did I?"
"Ohhhh," James burst out laughing. "You want him to turn us in!"
Peter looked hurt, and Sirius shook his head, "Come on, Evans. You just can't handle that maybe Remus wasn't as much of a goody two-shoes you thought he was."
Lily stared at him, then at James, then Peter and lastly turned and looked at Remus who had resorted to staring out of the window again, where hundreds of small stars blinkd in and out of the sky.
"What is wrong with you today?" Lily hissed, then got up, and stomped out of the common room and up the stairs to her dormitory.
Sirius, glanced and Remus, and out of the corner of his eye saw Peter and James do the same thing.
"Hey, you ok?" Sirius tried again. "Do you want to go upstairs?"
Remus didn't answer. He just turned and looked at them, his eyes yellower then Sirius had remembered them to be.
_ _ _ _
The boy's dormitory was a mess. It was always a mess, but the day before the Hogwarts Express would leave for winter holidays, there was barely a space that wasn’t covered in socks or robes or ties. Remus, of course, was the only one that had already packed and was basically ready to go. He had all ready and was scurrying around the room complaining to the others begging them to, “please pick up your socks, Peter!” or exclaim “James why do you own so many different colours of underwear?!” or “Sirius by Merlin's beard, why is your tie on MY bed?”
Sirius on the other hand was trying to stuff all of his ties into the side of his trunk, and failing miserably. He kept finding new things he had to leave or take or clothes that belonged to James, or sugar quills that belonged to Peter. Currently, he was trying to convince the boys to sneak into the girls dorm to give Evans a haircut, but this idea was quickly discouraged, when James said the stairs to the girls dorms turned into a slide, when a boy even tried to set foot on them. Sirius decided not to press why James knew that.
“Fuck off, Remus! Or if you're not gonna leave at least help me get these shirts into my fucking trunk!”
"OI!" James yelled, throwing a pillow at Sirius.
Peter stared at him with wide eyes, teasing, "You sound like a drunken sailor, swearing like that!”
"No telling Remus to fuck off!" James pointed at Sirius, with his finger.
Sirius paled, "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."
But instead of being offended Remus just muttered, “Jesus, Sirius can we maybe lay down with all those...bad words.”
"Bad words?" James mocked laughing.
“What?” Sirius addressing Remus, who was sitting on his bed, knees drawn up to his chin, arms rapped around his skinny legs.
“I mean you just swear a lot,” Remus answered face going red.
“No, I mean before that?”
“What are you talking about?”
“What the fuck is a Jesus?”
That earned him another look from Remus before Remus and Peter shared a look and burst out laughing.
“Wasn’t he a wizard?” James asked.
“What?” Remus looked surprised. “No!”
“Wait a minute...what if he was?” Peter exclaimed his eyes wide. "My mom is going to-"
“Let’s not...think about that…”
“Whatever.” James said, shaking his head, and running to the center of the room sitting down and staring at them all, “let’s get down to business. When are you lads visiting me? I just found this new room in our house, that I think my dad charmed just so that I wouldn't find it so there must be something cool-”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to visit at all.” Sirius interrupted solemnly before James could go on.
Remus looked like he was about to be sick, his already pale skin seeming to go green. “Yeah me neither.”
“What?” James said drawing out the 'a', looking deeply disappointed.
“I can come.” Peter perked up.
“So what?” James muttered. “It'll be boring without the other two. Besides you live like two doors down anyway.”
“It’s alright.” Remus tried to assure them, “I’m boring anyway.”
The three other boys all groaned in synchronization. Remus blushed, and rested his chin on his knees bashfully.
"Stop with that," Sirius whispered shaking his head. Peter looked down at his hands and didn't say anything.
“You’re not, Remus. Stop always saying that! Why can’t you come, anway?”
Remus looked down at the ground, his hands seeming to slightly tremble.
“I just...I want to be around my mum.”
“Didn’t you visit her a few days ago?”
Remus didn’t meet their eyes. “Yeah.”
“And now again?”
“....yeah.”
"Oh." Peter said.
“Is she….” James looked uncomfortable. “Is she doing worse?”
“We just....we don't....don’t know...any minute she could….Uhm....” Remus's voice cracked nervously.
There was an awkward silence in which the four boys all looked at the floor. His hands shaking slightly Remus picked up a pair of socks, rolled them up and neatly placed them into Sirius's trunk.
“So Black….” James said turning towards Sirius. “Why can’t you come?”
“My mum,” Sirius replies miserably.
Peter gasped, “is she sick too?!”
Remus’ head snapped up and he turned around to look more closely at Sirius. He and Sirius held eye contact for a moment.
“No...unfortunately not." Sirius said at last looking away, "She’s just evil.”
James looked down solemnly. None of the boys really knew much about Sirius’s family except for James, whom Sirius told everything to. Some days the two boys would talk for hours in the dorm while Remus and Peter sat in the common room alone, gloomily waiting for the two to finish whatever they were discussing. It was like an unspoken rule, that the four had. Whenever Sirius and James had to discuss something it meant that the other two boys would have to leave for a bit, in order to allow them to have their privacy. Those days were always the worst for Remus and Peter. Sometimes they would sit in silence. Sometimes Remus would help Peter with his homework. Sometimes one of them would try to eavesdrop before the other stopped them. Neither Remus nor Peter could help the cold feeling that well up inside of them at times like these, though. They weren't needed in this friendship dynamic and they both knew it.
James clapped his hands together loudly, sensing a clouded energy in the air, "How about we finish our bloody packing?"
_ _ _ _
Remus lay in bed, and listened to the sounds of wind rushing through the open air into the four boys dorm. He could slowly hear Peter's breathing deepen as he fell asleep, and he could hear a rustling from James's bed where he knew that the other boy was looking through some quidditch magazine like he always did before going to sleep. For a few seconds Remus lay in the cold and breathed in the night air kicking off his blanket to let goosebumps crawl all over his arms and legs. He wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. The wolf was still close to the surface, so close to the full moon and Remus felt restless and agitated.
He needed to be outside. In the woods, his paws slapping against the uneven ground, his fur rippling in the cold wind-
Remus crawled out of his bed. He considered going to the library and reading a little to calm down, but that made him feel like such a nerd that he decided to rule out the possibility. If he really wanted his fellow Gryffindors to like him, he would have to stop acting so strangely and uninterestingly. Why did they even keep him around? Why did they keep Peter around? Sure he was witty, and fun to be around but he wasn't anywhere near James and Sirius. No one was. They were like a different tier. Both of them stronger, and smarter, and braver, and better looking, than anyone else. Everyone listened when they had something to say. Everyone watched when they had something to show.
And yet they spent all their time with a skinny nerd and a pudgy idiot? Remus shuddered, scolidng himself for the thought.
He walked past the fire of the common room, listening to the calm crackling sounds. If only he could do something for his friends. If they even were his friends.
"Oi, Remus you haven't seen a frog anywhere have you?" Remus jumped and turned to see Frank Longbottom emerge from where had been crouching on the floor behind a wooden chair, looking for something.
"A...frog?" Remus asked stupidly.
"Yeah." Frank answered, "I uh...I can't find mine. Alice...um...Alice gave me one for my birthday a few days ago when you were still at your mums, and uhhh...I seem to have lost it."
"Oh," Remus said.
"I actually wanted a toad. You see my mum said real wizards always have toads and when I told Alice she got me one. Or well she thought she did. I mean it was actually a frog you see?"
"Ok."
"Don't tell her though!" Frank suddenly cried, "That I lost it! I don't want her to think that I didn't take good care of it or anything. I am. Taking good care of it, I mean. I like frogs." He took a deep breath like Remus sometimes did when he started rambling. "Anyway. Haven't...uh...haven't seen one?"
Remus shook his head slowly, "No...I'm sorry."
"Ok, well...see ya. Thanks."
Remus nodded and smiled a little before exiting the room. Alice had gotten Frank, her friend, a frog. Is that what friends do? Did they give each other frogs? Remus racked his brain for an answer. He wasn't sure where was going to get a frog, but....maybe a chocolate frog? He knew Sirius wasn't feeling great, and after all, wasn't it sort of a tradition now? The chocolate frog thing? Remus hesitated. Where could one get a chocolate frog at night in a magical castle? Well, somewhere where they have food so, Remus supposed, the kitchens. He didn't know exactly how to get in but he had heard Peter and Sirius discuss a giant painting of a pear once or twice. And he had somewhat of an idea where that was...
A few minutes later, Remus finally made it to the hallway. The stone floor felt cold against his feet, as he was only wearing woolen socks and no shoes, and the candles cast long wary shadows that followed him menacingly. When he reached the painting though, he wasn't exactly sure what to do. He turned around in a full circle and scanned his surroundings to make sure no teachers were coming, but when he turned back to the painting he found himself face to face with another Gryffindor. Remus jumped back immediately.
"Merlin!" he gasped.
The boy he had almost run into looked at him, his eyebrows knit, and Remus immediately recognized it to be Gideon Prewett. Remus could see that his hair was longer now than it had been, that day in the library before, and in the light of the candle he was holding, it looked even more orange too. Remus liked it, but he felt that it may not have been an appropriate moment to point that out.
"What are you doing here?" Remus asked, somewhat accusingly, although he was just surprised.
Gideon smiled slightly and glanced at the pear painting. His lips were very full and slightly pink. Remus looked away from his face.
"Were you in the kitchens?' Remus asked, impressed.
Gideon bowed, smiling mischievously. He showed Remus his hands which Remus now realized were stacked with foods. Candy, crisps, and fruits.
"You don't...talk very much do you?" Remus questioned, after a moment of them staring at each other.
Gideon tilted his head slightly then stepped backward. He looked like he was enjoying himself. "Sure I do. But sometimes talking isn't necessary is it? You understood everything, right?"
Remus smiled slightly.
"See you around, Remus Lupin."
And then Gideon left once again.
_ _ _ _
Ten minutes after Sirius had entered his own bed there was a small rustle of movement, a few footsteps and then James Potter was in Sirius Blacks bed telling him to “scoot his fat butt over” and fussing over Sirius’ blanket making sure to tuck in the boy's feet, and drawing it up all the way to his chin. James sat down next to his friend and leaned against the bedrest not looking Sirius in the eyes. For a few more minutes they both sat there in silence, before James turned his head towards Sirius, staring at him.
“Hey,” He said.
Sirius didn’t answer. James sat up straight and cast a quick muffliato charm.
“Have you talked to Andy?”
Sirius shook his head, the tiniest fraction. James sighed a little.
“You should.”
“Don’t want to,” Sirius said quietly as if he didn’t want to be overheard, even though he knew he couldn’t be because of the muffliato charm.
“Yeah you do. You haven’t talked to her in a long time....you miss her. Just like you miss Regulus.”
Sirius didn’t say anything.
“Look I know...I know you haven’t talked to them because it brings back painful memories. And I know there are many things you're not telling me...And I know you don’t want to have to face your family again. But at least you still have them, right? At least you’ll still be able to spend time with them when the rest of your family is...”
Sirius shook his head slightly and he could feel his eyes start to prickle with tears. Ashamed he turned his head away, feeling his face go warm.
“Mate…” James said quietly, his voice breaking a little.
“I’m scared.” Sirius suddenly whispered, as if he had to get it out. His hands were shaking.
“I know,” James said. A sudden sound escaped Sirius's lips and he choked wetly. James turned and wrapped his friend in his arms with no hesitation, gently stroking his back.
Sirius breathed heavily against James's shoulder, "I'm scared, I'm scared..." He said, almost as if he was pleading.
James couldn't breathe but he continued to stroke Sirius's back.
Sirius didn’t notice it, but his best friend's hands were shaking too. Not out of fear though. Out of something a lot stronger.
Because James Potter never hated anyone. Not Severus Snape. Not even Bellatrix Black. But now, for the first time in his life, a fit of white, hot anger boiled through his veins. Because James would do anything for his friends, and right now, all he could do was watch as his best friend went home to Orion and Walpurga Black.
And James hated them.
Remus entered the dorm as quietly as he could, closing the door behind him. He looked over at Sirius's bed, feelings tingle of excitement in the pit of his stomach. But right when he was about to close the distance between him and the bed he noticed a second figure sitting next to Sirius, through a crack in the drapes.
His breath hitched. A strange knot tightened in his stomach. He should be there. He should be sitting next to Sirius in his bed. He should be making him feel better. Hadn't that been their thing? Hadn't that been Remus's only assurance that the others didn't keep him there out of pity?
But it didn't matter because Remus had been replaced. Easily even. Or maybe he never really was an option in the first place. Maybe there was nothing to replace.
Remus stood there for a moment, chocolate frog in hand. And then very quietly he sat down on his bed, opened his drawer, and placed the chocolate in it.
He closed the drawer, the blinds, and finally his eyes.
It had been a stupid idea anyway.
_ _ _ _
Sirius was in a bad mood from the second they left the train. His entire aura changed; it was all dark stares and mean remarks. Alone on the way outside he snapped at Peter twice, rolled his eyes at James once, (which he never did), and completely ignored Remus.
When he got his trunk off the train and followed the others to where James’ parents were standing, a sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach.
He was going back to his parents' house.
He was going back.
He was actually going back.
Shit.
He could feel his heart racing in his chest, and he was scared that maybe it would rip out of his body. At least that way he wouldn't have to face his family.
What would they do? What would they say? What would-
“...And this is Sirius Black.” James was saying. Sirius perked up and nodded slightly.
“Hullo.”
James’ mum smiled at him kindly but he could detect pity in her eyes. James told her about his family. Not that he had to. She probably already knew plenty.
“Do you know when your parents will be here?” She asked, her voice getting a bit quieter at the mention of ‘parents’. Sirius shook his head. He didn't even know if they would come at all. He almost hoped they wouldn't.
“Maybe we could all go out and have some supper and I could drop you off at your house afterwards?”
“Mum...” James said quietly. Sirius shook his head again.
“Oi Black I’m gonna write you so many letters you won’t even be able to count them all, eh?” Peter said, having already forgotten and forgiven Sirius for snapping at him. He was good at forgiving.
“Can’t,” Sirius muttered rubbing his hand on his forehead that was now layered in sweat. James looked somewhere behind Sirius and his eyes widened. Sirius felt his heart stop and he whipped around and watched Andromeda walk towards him.
She looked uncomfortable, with her hands in the pockets of her robes.
“Andy.”
“Sirius,” she said quietly. "You've been avoiding me."
Sirius didn't say anything.
The corner of her mouth twisted a tiny bit.
"Hello, James. Pettigrew? Mrs. Potter?" Andy said giving them a tight smile. James didn't answer, but he scrunched his nose in a sort of greeting.
She nodded her head back in the direction she came from. “Come on.”
She didn’t have to say anything more than that. Sirius took a deep breath. “Bye.” But before he could leave James grabbed his arm and pulled him back giving him a fierce hug. “You can do it, Sirius.”
Sirius’ whole body shook as he willed himself not to cry. “The holidays will be over before you know it.” James continued. Sirius nodded and with one quick burst of bravery followed his cousin out of the crowd.
The first person he saw was his mother who stood out like a sore thumb with her posh, vampire-style clothing and the constant facial expression of disgust. Next to her, tall and stern stood Sirius’ father who looked uncomfortable to be surrounded by lower-class wizards.
“Auntie Walpurga!” A horrible but familiar voice shrieked. Bellatrix Black flung her arms around Sirius’ mother leaving two sloppy wet kisses on either cheek.
“Bella! Narcissa! Andy!” Walpurga plastered a huge fake smile on her face and gave the three girls an awkward hug. Sirius took another deep breath thanking fate that his mother's attention wasn’t on him. He leaned against a pillar interlacing his shaking hands and resting them on his trunk.
That’s when Sirius spotted him.
He was standing right there behind Sirius’ father, peaking out timidly from behind the big man's bulky figure. “Regulus...” The name escaped Sirius’ lips before he could stop himself.
Regulus stepped forward, his eyes big and grey, just like Sirius's but filled with disappointment.
“No letters.” He said matter of factly.
Sirius felt like crying again.
Instead, he croaked, “I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you write?” Regulus asked softly looking down at the ground. "I was lonely."
“I...”
“Did you find someone better?” Regulus’ voice cracked slightly. “Did you forget about me?”
Sirius’s hands started sweating.
“No. No, Reggie of course not.” Sirius was shaking his head.
“We’re leaving.” Andy nudged Sirius. Sirius looked up in surprise. They had ignored him. His parents had completely ignored him. Relief flooded into Sirius’ heart. Andy shook her head and redirected his attention to all the wizards and witches surrounding them.
Sirius knew exactly what she meant; not even his parents were stupid enough to do anything in a crowded train station. People were already suspicious of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. Once they got home his parents wouldn’t be ignoring him much longer.
Regulus turned wordlessly and started walking after their parents and Andy followed behind him.
James was wrong; these holidays would be very very long. And Sirius wasn’t sure if he would be able to survive them.
_ _ _ _
It was strange being back at home after so many months away from his parents and his bedroom and his neighbourhood but Remus was more worried about the prospect of spending a full moon at home rather than anything else. At Hogwarts full moons were so much easier and simpler. Sure they obviously still hurt, a lot even, but there was less stress involved as he always knew Madam Pomfrey would be there with a helping hand and a helping potion. At home, all he knew was that he would spend the next few hours in a basement and whether or not he would come out alive, or survive by the time he came out, remained a mystery one month after the other. But he loved being back in the small cottage, nevertheless.
He loved waking up to the smell of french toast and the sound of his mother singing to herself in the kitchen. He loved having all of his books back. The fairytales and the adventures, that never got old, were something Remus hadn’t even realized he was missing. He loved to go outside in the shade of his old tree, and just read for hours and hours on end.
But as the full moon drew closer, it became harder for Remus to do all these things he loved, and instead, he just sat in his bedroom, worrying.
The best thing that came from going home over the holidays was definitely his parents. On the day that he and his friends had arrived in kings cross station both of his parents had driven all the way over to pick him up and engulf him in gigantic hugs, his dad ruffling his hair and his mum kissing his cheeks.
“So who are those boys?” His mum had asked nodding at the three other boys who were standing with James’ parents (a plump Indian woman and a tall white man with huge glasses) who were fussing over James and Peter as if they were both their children instead of only James.
“Those are….” Remus had hesitated but not for long, “my friends.” His father had beamed down at him and his mother had given him a wink, smirking at him as if by getting friends he had somehow proven her right.
“I want to meet them!” She had declared starting to make her way over to the other three boys. And all Remus and his father could do was follow her.
After that encounter had occurred his parents were the happiest Remus had seen them in a long time. Every day they asked how his friends were doing, even if he had no chance of knowing, and on the 24th of December when three owls with parcels all visited him at the same time his parents nearly lost it out of excitement.
The first present he opened was from Peter. It was a box of homemade biscuits from Peter's mother paired with two different flavoured chocolate bars and a card that read, Happy Christmas Lupen! (Remus decides to ignore the fact that his name was spelled incorrectly.)
The next Parcel he opened was from James whose owl fluttered around excitedly jumping up and down and flapping his wings at Remus’ face in such an overwhelming welcome that reminded him a lot of James. The gift that James had sent was a small box with different flavours of tea bags all lined neatly organized in rows and columns. Excitedly Remus started picking out a few of the bags to read the flavors, which included pretty normal ones such as black tea, fruit tea and peppermint tea and some pretty weird ones such as butter brew tea, sunflower root tea, and a particular one that caught Remus’ eye called Midnight Moon.
Merry Christmas ma’ boy! Hope you enjoy the gift...you seemed like the type of boring person to get excited about tea. Anyway have a good holiday and we’ll see each other soon.
You're favourite person ever, James.
Lastly, Remus opened the gift from Sirius which was the smallest. One chocolate frog with a small note that said, Thought this might cheer you up. And a cursive black S. Remus couldn’t help but let a small smile form on his face as he delicately dropped the chocolate frog into his pocket. Maybe he had been wrong.
_ _ _ _
The full moon was on the 31st which was not a nice way to start the new year.
The wolf obviously wasn’t happy about being back in the basement at Remus's house because it threw a huge fit. His parents had locked the door of the basement exactly at 7:00 pm since that was when the sun had officially fallen, and had, like always promised Remus a wonderful breakfast the next day (even though he never felt fit to eat after a full) and gift like a new book, or quill (even though that just made Remus feel quilty since his parents spent too much money on him).
Remus slowly peeled off his clothes and sat in the corner of the room, trying to keep warm. There was a small worn out and somewhat scratchy blanket in the cellar that Remus gingerly wrapped around himself but it barely provided any sort of warmth or comfort.
While he waited Remus did some stretch exercises. He always felt absolutely ridiculous doing them but after his father had suggested it one time a few years ago Remus decided to try it out, and actually realised that it did indeed help. While it definitely wasn't life-altering it did make the muscle cramps and spasming go down, and skin felt less stretched and soar after the full moon (though that could've just been a placebo effect).
On this particular day, the transformation was slow and excruciating as if for once the wolf didn’t actually want to come out, and took about two hours, give or take. Remus tried to keep the noise down, but he knew his parents could hear him crying and screaming from downstairs. Trying to suppress his shrieks and suppress his guilt Remus curled into a small ball and dug teeth into his lips until he tasted blood, waiting for the pain to subside telling himself that it would be over soon.
It would be over soon.
Slowly his vision tinted in a black and white, and he lost all sense of colours.
And then he simply wasn't himself anymore.
When Remus woke up the next day he knew he was right. The wolf really wasn't happy being back. Remus woke up with more gashes that night than he had had in months. Overcome by pain, and not being able to move Remus lay in his own blood waiting for himself to pass out, yet not even that seemed to be going his way. The young werewolf turned his head ever so slightly and glanced at the pile of clothes in the corner of his room where out of one of his pockets a corner of the small package holding the chocolate frog was peaking out.
It didn't cheer him up. But it did help.
It would all be over soon...