Chapter 2
Chapter two
The next morning, Nicole woke with a headache.
Can you really say woke if you didn’t actually sleep? Nicole had spent the night tossing and turning and laying with her eyes closed but feeling completely aware of all of her surroundings. Was that sleep? Either way, Nicole’s head was pounding and she knew she needed coffee if she was going to get through the day.
It had been a long time since she’d slept a solid eight hours. Whether she had work or not, Nicole was up at 5am sharp. After driving to the Homestead the night before and not getting to bed until almost midnight, Nicole had hoped to sleep until at least 6am. She pressed the button on the side of her phone so she could see the time, and groaned.
She knew she wasn’t going to get back sleep, so pulled on her jeans and a t-shirt over the underwear that she’d slept in and headed for the kitchen.
The house was still pitch black and silent. Nicole rubbed her face as walked. She didn’t turn on any lights but let the moonlight and memory guide her was to the kitchen.
The buzzing of the wedding festivities hadn’t started yet, but she knew that she needed caffeine in her system before they did. And not because she wasn’t happy for Waverly. The fact that Waverly seemed happy meant that Nicole was happy for her. She just couldn’t shake the feeling that she made a mistake by coming. She should have stayed home and worked on the case.
There’s evidence and facts and she was still missing something, but she could work at it and solve it. But here, this situation with Wynonna, she couldn’t solve it. She hated avoiding her, but Nicole just wasn’t sure what to say. And she wasn’t sure that Wynonna even wanted to hear it.
“You must be Nicole.” A male voice said, startling Nicole.
“Uh,” She dropped her hands. “Yeah, I’m Nicole.”
Nicole wasn’t used to seeing men around the Homestead, unless it was Doc or Jeremy. And the man before her was certainly not either of them. Which meant he was -
“I’m Champ.” He stepped forward slightly from where he was leaning against the counter, stretched out his hand and Nicole shook it. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you yesterday when you got in but I was already at the hotel. Bad luck to see the bride and all.”
He grinned and took a sip of his coffee.
“Why are you here then?” Nicole screwed up her face. “Sorry, that was rude. You’ve met before coffee Nicole.”
“I understand that.” He laughed and handed Nicole and empty mug, before point to a tuxedo that was draped over the back of one of the chairs. “I forgot my entire tux. So I messaged Waverly to leave it downstairs for me so I could grab it. There just isn’t coffee like Gus coffee, so I had to grab a cup.”
“Oh. I have missed Gus’s coffee.” Nicole grinned and walked over the where the freshly brewed pot was sitting.
“Waverly is really happy that you could come.” Champ said.
“And you?” Nicole asked, focusing on the stream of coffee and she filled her cup.
She didn’t want to look at him. She wasn’t sure what he knew or how he would react to Nicole being Waverly’s ex. While Nicole identified as a lesbian, she knew there was a stigma around anyone who identified as bisexual. She never had an issue with Waverly dating boys before her, and as long as Champ looked after her and made her happy, she didn’t care that Waverly was marrying a man.
“I know about your past with Waverly, if that’s what you mean. And I’m OK with it. We all have ex’s, Nicole.” Nicole finally looked at him. “If Waverly wants you here, who am I to stand in the way of that?”
She smiled. It seemed like Waverly had found herself a decent man to marry. His name was still silly though.
“I’ve got to get going. They’ll be up soon.” He swallowed the last bit of his coffee and rinsed his cup in the sink before setting it in the drying rack. “Just promise me one thing?”
Nicole nodded as she watched him reach for his tux. “Sure.”
“When they say the bit about speaking now or forever holding your peace? Don’t say anything.” He laughed as Nicole grinned.
“I promise.” He gave Nicole a nod before walking to the door. “Champ?”
“Yeah?” He stopped and looked at her.
“I’m not here for Waverly. I mean, I am. But I’m not. It isn’t like that anymore.” Champ smiled and nodded before slipping out into the darkness.
“So why are you here?” Wynonna’s voice came from the doorway, startling Nicole and causing her to take a bigger sip of the boiling coffee than she was prepared for.
She was sure the scalding liquid that was burning her mouth was less painful than talking to Wynonna was going to be, but she swallowed anyway.
“Waverly invited me.” Nicole said simply with a shrug. She turned to face the sink to avoid showing Wynonna how much pain that mouthful of coffee has just caused her. She poured the remaining liquid into the sink and rinsed the cup.
“You don’t think-“
“It doesn’t matter what I think. Waverly asked me to come, so I did.” Nicole interrupted, placing her cup beside Champs.
“Waverly asked you not to break her heart, but you did that.”
“Damnit, Wynonna.” Nicole brought her hands down, hard, against the sink. She hung her head and sighed. “Aren’t you ever going to let it go? Waverly has.”
“Waverly has answers that I don’t have. She knows what happened and all I have are questions.”
Nicole could feel Wynonna’s eyes burning into her. There was a time she would’ve given anything to have Wynonna stare at her, but not like this. She could feel the anger and hurt that Wynonna was feeling and she knew it was all her fault, but what could she do? It wouldn’t do any good to tell Wynonna the truth. Too much time has passed. And Nicole wasn’t even sure she still fell the same way.
“I don’t know what to tell you.” Nicole sighed.
“Just tell me the truth.” Wynonna’s voice was softer now, almost a whisper.
Wynonna was still in the doorway, leaning against the frame, with her arms folded across her chest. She was giving Nicole a look that was somewhere between puppy dog eyes and if looks could kill, and Nicole knew that she was still a goner. She knew that if Wynonna asked her again, she would give in and tell her.
There wasn’t anything Nicole Haught wouldn’t do for Wynonna Earp. Not really. She knew that Wynonna was angry at her, but she was holding back for a reason. Not only to protect her own heart because she knew Wynonna didn’t feel the same way, but Nicole knew that if she told her the truth, Wynonna would feel so guilty that she took something away from Waverly.
Four days shy of her sixth birthday, Wynonna looked at her newborn baby sister and promised her that she would protect her always. Wynonna made the same promise every year on Waverly’s birthday. Nicole had seen first hand what Waverly’s pain did to Wynonna, and she couldn’t imagine what she’d do if she thought she was responsible for it.
Everything Wynonna ever did was to protect her sister. Nicole didn’t understand that when they first met. She couldn’t understand how Wynonna’s life of crime was protecting Waverly. And, there were things she still didn’t understand, but she knew that the Earp name came with a curse and that Wynonna was determined to protect Waverly from all aspects of it.
Ward Earp, Waverly and Wynonna’s father had been an awful, greedy man. He’d take anything he wanted no matter the owner and he always promised that if you crossed him, “they’d search for you forever but noone would ever find your body.”
Ward’s father, Josiah was the same; and his father, Edwin, before him. Cruelty ran in Earp veins as far back as Wyatt Earp, and possibly before but information became harder to come by the further back you looked. That was until Waverly was born. Wynonna had sworn that she would do anything and everything to protect her little sister from the hatred and retribution the towns people sought after four generations of Earp men had wreaked havoc on their lives.
Wynonna stepped in to Ward’s shoes when he died. She had to make difficult choices and Nicole understood, more than most, what it was like to bear the weight of her father’s actions. But, Nicole could swear that when she met Wynonna, there was a part of her that loved the power and control that came with the life she led.
To this day, Nicole wasn’t sure if Wynonna had ever followed through on a threat to make someone disappear, but people feared her just as they did her father. Wynonna had a kind of power over everyone she met, including Nicole.
“There’s nothing to tell. Some things just don’t work out.” Nicole held Wynonna’s stare. She wanted so badly to look away, but she knew if she did Wynonna would take it as a confirmation of her lies.
“You’re a liar, Nicole Haught. And I can’t believe I ever considered you a friend.” Wynonna said. “The sooner you’re gone again the better.”
Nicole Haught. Nicole. In all the time they’d known each other, Wynonna had never used Nicole’s first name. Not once. It was always Haught or some pun that Wynonna always thought was funnier than it actually was. But never Nicole. And she said it with such contempt.
Nicole could feel tears pricking at the edge of her vision and closed her eyes in an effort to stop Wynonna from seeing how much her words hurt. She held her breath as Wynonna’s words cut to her very core.
When she opened her eyes the brunette was gone.
Nicole tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling. She released a pained breath and blinked away the tears. She’d forgotten how cruel Wynonna could be because it’d been so long since she’d seen it. And she’d never been on the receiving end of it. Not really. Even when Wynonna had punched her and told her to go it hadn’t felt like this.
And maybe Nicole deserved it.
Maybe this was her punishment for breaking Waverly’s heart and keeping this secret. Maybe this was her punishment for falling in love with Wynonna in the first place.
Except, once she got close to Wynonna, once she saw her softer side, once she saw who Wynonna really was, she didn’t stand a chance.
Nicole would never deny that she had loved Waverly with her whole heart. She really thought they were going to get married and have a family together. Nicole knew that she would be happy at Waverly’s side. Waverly was kind and generous and, not to sound too cliché, but she was sunshine and rainbows. That isn’t to say that Waverly didn’t have moments of sadness and self doubt. But somehow Waverly always saw the good in everything and everyone. Everything she did was to try and make the world a better place for everyone else.
And Wynonna was… well, Wynonna. And Waverly wasn’t Wynonna.
Falling for Waverly was easy. Nicole went willingly and knew what she was getting herself into. With Wynonna, Nicole didn’t even realise that it had happened until she was in too deep.
They’d disliked each other from the start. Wynonna was a criminal. She’d taken over the family business from her father and she led a life without consequences. Until Nicole had moved to town. She’d been warned not to cross the Earp Heir, but Nicole hadn’t listened. She arrested Wynonna over and over again, even though Waverly had asked her not to, but she couldn’t ever get anything to stick.
Eventually they called a truce. And the rest is history, as they say.
“ Are you OK, Nicole?” Gus’s voice brought Nicole crashing back to the present.
She looked at the older woman and hoped that it didn’t look like she’d been crying, “Yeah, just tired.”
“Well, you can have a couple more hours of sleep. There’s not that much to do for you. Wynonna is going to get the cake and Chrissy will be over to help Waverly and Jeremy get ready. Not that either of them really need help, they’re both such good looking kids..” Gus smiled. “She’s going to make a beautiful bride, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, she is.” Nicole nodded and smiled softly.
“I see that Champ came and got his tux.” Gus said as she made her way to the fridge and started to pull containers out. “That boy is so forgetful. One time, Waverly bugged me to let him help around the homestead. The pipe under the sink was leaking so I let him fix it. I didn’t want to get down on the floor anyway. He pulled it all apart put a bucket under there to catch the water and when the darn thing was full he tipped it in the sink.”
They both laughed. Nicole imagined that Gus wouldn’t have found it very amusing in the moment, but standing there in the kitchen, she laughed like it was the funniest story she’s every heard.
“Wow.”
“He’s a sweet boy though.” Gus added, placing the containers on the counter. “He treats Waverly so good.”
“I met him earlier. He seems like a good guy.”
“Oh he is. He really listens to her, and he’s so supportive.” Gus stopped and looked at Nicole. “Oh, you probably don’t want to hear any of this.”
“No, I absolutely do. I’m glad that Waverly is happy.” Nicole smiled.
“And you?”
“I am in a committed relationship with my job.” Nicole chuckled.
“But are you happy?”
“Yes.”
And she was.
She’d be lying if there weren’t nights when she craved the touch of another or the weight of someone else in her bed, but Nicole loved her job. She loved catching the bad guys and making a difference.
“Good. That’s the most important thing.” Gus smiled. “You should get some rest while you can. There won’t be a chance later.”
“Maybe I will just lay down a little longer.” Nicole said as she made her way to the door. “Unless there’s something I can help you with?”
“Absolutely not. I have this under control.” Gus said as she continued to chop and mix and chop some more. “We can’t have you too exhausted to enjoy the party later since you came all this way.”
“Are you sure?” Nicole tried again. She really was exhausted, but she’d much rather do something to help Gus and distract herself from her own thoughts than lay down with them.
“You go on and get out of my kitchen and get some rest, Nicole.” Gus said, waving her out of the kitchen.
Nicole sighed and did as she was told.
+++++
She wasn’t sure how long she’d managed to sleep for, but when Nicole woke to the sound of car doors slamming, the sun was lighting up the whole room.
Nicole got up and walked to the window. She pulled the curtain back just enough so that she could see outside, but no-one would know she was watching.
Jeremy, Waverly’s best friend was leaning into the trunk of his car. Every few seconds he stood up and handed something to the man standing next to him. Nicole wasn’t sure who it was, but from the way he was starring at Jeremy, they were either in a relationship or he very much wanted to be.
Nicole knew that stare all too well.
She knew what is was like to stare longingly at someone and imagine what it would be like to touch them or kiss them or –
Beep beep.
“Hi Wynonna.” Jeremy called, waving as Wynonna pulled in next to their car.
“Hi, boys!” Nicole watched from the window as Wynonna climbed out of her car. “Robin, Gus wants the cars parked around the back so we can take photos out the front of the homestead this afternoon. Once you guys are done and Jeremy is getting ready, I’ll show you where to park.”
“Of course.” Robin smiled.
“I can’t believe today is finally here.” Jeremy said as he closed the trunk. “Are you nervous about your speech, Wynonna?”
“I think the correct question is, have you written your speech, Wynonna?” Robin said and they all laughed.
Gosh, she has a beautiful laugh, Nicole thought.
Nicole let go of the curtain and headed for the door. She needed to make this right. She needed to move past the idea of her and Wynonna being together, and just make things right so that Wynonna didn’t hate her anymore. She knew that anything short of telling Wynonna everything wouldn’t magically make everything better. But that wasn’t an option and she had to try something.
By the time she was outside, Jeremy and Robin had vanished and it was just Wynonna. Wynonna and the wedding cake. It was a very simple wedding cake, with three tiers and very minimal buttercream on the outside. But where it lacked buttercream, it more than made up for that with different berries.
Nicole watched for a moment from the porch as Wynonna struggled under the weight of the cake, before slowly walking down the stairs and offering her help.
“I’ve got it.” Wynonna said through gritted teeth.
Nicole watched her take another strained step and knew that even if that were true, she was going to really struggle on the stairs. “Just let me help. You can barely see over it.”
Nicole took a step closer and put her hands under the opposite side of the cakeboard. She wasn’t quite prepared for how heavy it was.
“I said I’ve got it.” Wynonna repeated, but Nicole could tell that she was relieved to share the weight.
“I don’t mind helping. If we just turn this way-“ Nicole tried to step so that they would be walking sideways in an effort to avoid walking backwards up the stairs.
“No, I’ve got-“
“It’ll be easier if-
“Just let go, Nicole!” Wynonna ordered.
Even though Wynonna said it with such anger, hearing her say Nicole’s name made the hair on the back of the redheads neck stand on end. She wasn’t ready for it and she certainly wasn’t prepared for how it would make her feel.
Everything froze for a moment and Nicole just starred at Wynonna. Maybe she should tell her now and just get it over with. As Nicole opened her mouth, Wynonna attempted to take a step forward, but Nicole didn’t move. Wynonna lost her grip on the cakeboard and all they could do was watch it fall forward onto Nicole.
As cake, buttercream and berries covered Nicole, she was glad that she hadn’t put on the clothes she was wearing to the ceremony. “Shit!”
“Look what you’ve done!”
“W-what I’ve done?” Nicole could barely see through the buttercream and cake on her face. “I was just trying to help you!”
“I didn’t need your help.” Wynonna snapped, putting emphasis on the word your. “I told you that.”
“What’s wrong with my help?” Nicole asked, wiping chunks of cake from her face.
“Because it doesn’t get me anywhere. Do you remember the last time I asked you for help?”
“That was different.” Nicole said through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, it was different. That time Waverly’s life was in danger. And you-“
“I helped, Wynonna. I helped you.” Nicole couldn’t believe that Wynonna was bringing this up. She’d thought it was water under the bridge.
In the early stages of their relationship, before Nicole really knew the Earp sisters, Waverly was kidnapped. Nicole knew that Wynonna didn’t make the best choices, heck, she’d arrested her multiple times. And when Wynonna came to Nicole, in the police station, and tried to ask for help, Nicole didn’t want to listen. She didn’t even let Wynonna say anything really.
She’d told her to go before hearing why she’d needed help. Wynonna had tried, for the sake of Waverly and Nicole’s relationship, for the sake of Nicole’s job, to do things the right way, and Nicole just sent her away. It wasn’t until Gus came and told Nicole that Waverly was missing, that she found Wynonna and helped save the youngest Earp.
“Eventually.” Wynonna said. “But I learnt then that I shouldn’t rely on you.” Wynonna took one more look at the cake before walking off in a huff.
Nicole sighed as she watched Wynonna walk away, before walking inside to clean herself up.
+++++
“Is that-“
Nicole was looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror when Waverly’s voice filled her ears. She looked at Waverly in the mirror before slowly turned to face her.
Waverly was all dressed and ready to walk down the aisle. Her sheath style wedding dress hugged close to her body and fell straight to the floor at her hips, there was almost no flare at all. There was minimal beading and lace but it as so elegant and beautiful. The white material made Waverly look like an angel.
“Wow. You look beautiful.” Nicole said, twisting a wash cloth in her hands.
“Thank you.” Waverly smiled, stepping inside the bathroom and closing the door. She faced Nicole, “You’ve got a little something.”
Waverly gestured with her hand but Nicole honestly had no idea where she was pointing. She’d cleaned the cake from her face but there was just so much cake. Nicole sighed.
“I’m so sorry, Waverly.” Nicole sat on the edge of the bathtub. She felt like crying.
“It’s OK.” Waverly said softly with a smile. She put the lid of the toilet down and sat. “It’s just cake.”
“But it’s your wedding cake. And if Wynonna wasn’t so stubborn-“
“Then she wouldn’t be the Wynonna we know and love.” Waverly chuckled.
“How can you be so calm about this?”
“Because I had a back up cake made. Doc is bringing it.”
“Because you didn’t trust Wynonna?”
“No. Because things happen. Wynonna is Wynonna but I know that she wouldn’t do anything on purpose to ruin today. I just wanted to have a backup just in case life happened.”
Nicole still didn’t feel any better.
“I’m still sorry, Waverly. I was just… and she’s so damn frustrating and-“
“You should tell her.” Waverly interrupted. Nicole just looked at her. She wasn’t sure what to say. “You still love her, Nicole. I wasn’t sure yesterday, but I can see it in your eyes just now even when you’re so so mad at her. You have to tell her.”
“I know.” Nicole sighed. “I just don’t know where to start.”
"Start anywhere because whatever the outcome, it's gotta be better than this." Waverly looked down at her hands. "And I can't keep lying to her, Nicole."
"I never asked you to."
"You didn't have to." Waverly looked up at Nicole.
"I know." She sighed. "I'll tell her. I promise."