Invincible Believer
She walks by herself to school every day. The train shakes her feet, but she is never one to stand among a crowd. Above the masses is more of her tune. A believable excuse to why she's alone.
It didn't use to be like this. How fleeting that moment was, she was around others, sharing a dream. At least, she thought they did. Now, walking by herself back home, the crowded night is filled with her sighs.
Again, and again. It slowly becomes her norm. Classes blink by, every moment a growing ache to return to her darling silence. She knows she shouldn't feel down. To be the cutest idol in all of Japan, her best smile should be worn at all times.
Her classmates call her. A plastered façade should suffice for now. "Hey, Kasumi. We're going to the arcade after school, want to come with?"
She waves her hand, energetically refusing. "I can't! I'm going straight to the clubroom! I... Have to get tons of practice in!" They look in awe at her conviction. She bites down the bitterness of her lies.
"You're pretty serious about this whole thing, huh, Kasumi?" One says, giving an impressed look. "You're in the same club as Setsuna Yuki, right? It must be amazing to be next to her!"
"Right? Her song was so good!" Another. She looks between her classmates, grumbling, but she knows they're right.
"Just wait! I'll sing an even better song, and everyone will know who the cutest idol is!" And that will be her, Kasumi Nakasu, standing above waves of fans.
The bell rings, they wave her goodbye before leaving the room. She looks around before her smile drops, then slowly, packs her things. The attention is an abatement to the loneliness. She's growing used to the quiet, but she knows she misses company. Busy halls, long flights, and talkative groups pass by her, all leading to a door in the far wing of the school. She knocks on the door, no one answers her, and she lets herself in.
Dust is beginning to settle on the table. She nods to herself before grabbing a towel, wiping it clean. What would her fans think if she practiced in a place of such disarray and filth? She nods, smiling at her accomplishment. More genuine. It falls a second later upon the swing of the door.
"Hey, Kasukasu!" An upperclassman calls, announcing her sudden arrival. "You still lonely in here?"
"What did I say? Don't call me Kasukasu!" She protests, her fists balled in the air. At the door, she scans the room, a grin splitting her face at the sole sight.
"The camping club really needs a place to store our equipment, you know? And I'm happy to see you're keeping the place clean for us when we take this room!" She looks down at the wet rag in her hand. She quickly tosses it out of sight in a box.
"The student council president said you'll have this room at the END of the month. For now, it's still ours!" She defends, a fire in her eyes.
"Easy, easy. I'm just checking in to see your, soon to be ours, club room. Must be pretty boring spending afternoons all by yourself." She grits her teeth, forcing a smile. A hopeful distraction to the tears prickling the corners of her eyes.
"School Idols can be a solo act! The rest are on a break, anyway. Now, leave because I'm going to start practicing!" The upperclassman whistles at her words and obliges by stepping out of the room. The smug look stings her defiant front.
"Got it, don't want to be messing with how busy you'll be." A laugh, and she disappears past the doorway. "Keep up the good work cleaning, Kasukasu!"
"Don't call me that!" She yells out to her, stomping to the door and promptly slamming it shut. The noise reverberates throughout the empty room, highlighting how alone she is. She looks back and continues keeping the surfaces clean.
Clothing racks, tables, windows and chairs are left spotless from her endeavors. She looks at all of it, then to the last thing in the room. In the corner against the wall was a full body mirror. She sets off to return it to its former shine.
Long strokes and effort produced a clear reflection. In front of her stood a girl with nothing behind her who chooses to look ahead. But to where? Her eyes look lost, glassy in the bitter loneliness. Tears roll down her cheeks. She gives a tear-stained smile.
Her cry echoes, she quickly moves to dry her eyes. One more time, she looks in the mirror. Her face is frankly a mess, the tears still leak, but she gives a smile.
She has no talent in composing or lyrics, and she is all alone. She can admit that, but she believes that she'll one day stand on a stage, bathed in her color. Yellow is a good color. How? Her eyes show that she isn't sure. But that doesn't matter.
For now, she has her smile. Her best and brightest, and there isn't another smile like it. She laughs, her breath hitching. She takes a handkerchief from her pocket, drying her tears.
She'll keep it up. Her brightest smile. She's alone, but she'll make it. Someday, she'll be more than just good enough. Someday, she'll be a star on stage. But for now, she's Kasumi Nakasu. An invincible believer.
Another knock on the door. She hides her handkerchief, taking one more glance in the mirror to see herself. A smile. Sweeter, cuter, braver.
The door creaks open, behind it an upperclassman. "H-hello?" A second year. Their eyes meet. "Is this the school idol club?"