When the Other Ship Sails (Chikanan)
She walked to the shore. Her shoes forgotten nearby. Her feet dig into the warm sand, the sunset accentuating the cold grasp in her chest. It was sudden news, but after it had sunk in, it was believable, even obvious. A breathy laugh through her parted lips. How could she be so blind.
“What brings you all the way out here, You?” A gentle voice. She didn’t bother to look behind, the random English was enough to discern the identity. “A bit far for swim practice, don’t you think?” She giggled. At least she thought it was a good excuse.
“It’s the water, see?” You gestured to the wide beach that stretched across the horizon. Gentle waves froth and recede along the shore. Footsteps stop beside her, sand adjusting to the new weight.
“I was surprised, too,” Mari said, with an uncharacteristic exhaustion. “Thought to get some air. Clear my head.” You nodded, understanding her intentions. After all, she had gone out to do the same.
A brief shake of her head. No, she wanted to get as far as she could.
“Hey, do you feel... Happy for them?” The hesitation in her voice provoked a look from You. Mari’s trademark smile was nowhere to be found. “For Chika and Kanan, I mean.”
She huffed a laugh, forcing a smile. “Me? I was shocked as much as anybody,” they announced it before Aqours practices. They stood in front of all of them, delivering the news. Why didn’t she tell her first?
“Of course I’m happy for them!” You forced out. Her chest tightens, strangling her words. Why was she left in the dark? “Why wouldn’t I be? They’re happy together! As a group, we could get closer, a-and...” Each word is a hammer to her heart. Her breath hitches.
“And it hurts.” Mari watched her bend over, staring to the sand beneath her feet. She repeated it. Again, and again. The dam finally broke, her tears spilled out. A warm hand touched her shoulder. Mari’s words were a whisper.
“It’s fine to hurt.”
You screamed, the ocean listened to her cries, the beach soaked her tears. Her chest weighed a heavy guilt, but there was no other way to carry it. She sucked in a breath. It would be her final promise to an unspoken love.
“I’m sorry, Chika! Kanan!” Her voice echoed, the sea her only witness. “Someday... I’ll be happy for you two! I’ll definitely smile at your love! But for now... For now, I can’t do that! Because... Because-“
She cupped her hands around her mouth. Tears stained her cheeks, her voice a resounding clarity. “I, Watanabe You, love you, Chika!” A confession too late. Her words die down, choking down sobs.
“I’m a terrible friend! I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” Someday, the words will be nothing but a memory in the sea breeze. Someday, her promises to the sunset will be true.
But for now, the storm rages over port, with a ship that is never destined to sail.