Growing Pains

~Terushima~

His heart broke when (Y/n) joined them. Her smile was paper thin, extremely forced, and no where near reaching her eyes. They were sad and angry, so much so that she looked tired. "Let's wrap up," she said softly. There was no room for questioning in her tone. "Sorry to bother Kana. It was good to see you. I hope you have a great afternoon," she said kindly.

"Why don't you guys get a head start down, and we'll meet you at check out. Actually! Um.. We forgot the mirror. Keij can you grab the one we talked about," Meiko directed. "Yeah. Bokuto-san, Terushima-san," Akaashi said with a tone of finality as we started walking as a group.

Terushima turned to (Y/n) not wanting to leave her side but she forced a bigger smile nodding for him to go with them. He frowned but complied not wanting to make this harder on her.

~~~~~

"She's going to be okay. She's a tough kid," Bokuto tried to reassure. Terushima nodded following them to the full length mirrors.

"What did you mean by she was off the other day," Akaashi asked hesitantly. "She was just... kinda off. I 'dunno. She ended the call kind of abruptly and it just... it was all kind of off. She forgot to mute her end too so her brother had gone from like a playful mom to all worried sounding," he shared and sighed, "I wasn't planning on sharing that with anyone, but you guys seem really close with her, so... I trust you guys with that information."

He looked up noticing they both looked concerned. Neither looked surprised. That wasn't a comforting reaction. "You really got it bad huh," Bokuto asked. Terushima looked over startled as Akaashi scolded, "Bokuto-san! Boundaries." "Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to," Bokuto started as his hair drooped. Terushima laughed, glad to be on the receiving end of someone getting their foot in their mouth for once.

~~~~~

They met up with the girls not long after. (Y/n) still looked rough, but at least the smile wasn't so forced.

"What are the strongest two days of the week," Terushima asked without thinking. "I-I don't know," she stammered. The others shrugged. "Monday," Bokuto exclaimed proudly. "Close. Saturday and Sunday," Terushima answered confidently. "How do you figure," Akaashi asked. Terushima couldn't bite back the shit eating grin as he declared, "Because all the other days are weak-... days."

"That was awful," Meiko insisted trying to fight back a smile of her own. (Y/n)'s laugh cut through her sentence though. "That's your worst one yet," she declared. "What do you call a sad cup of coffee," he continued and she rolled her eyes smiling before shrugging. "A depresso," he shared. Bokuto roared out in laughter.

~~~~~
~Your POV~

You set the packages in your room and texted Mei who was picking up food with Akaashi. Bokuto had fallen asleep watching Dragonball with Yuuji who was also out cold. What if Enno already told Koushi?

You heard shuffling and looked up to see a half asleep Yuuji walking in, "Why didn't you wake us up?" "It's going to be loud for a while. I thought I'd let you guys sleep for now," you shrugged.

He seemed to still be rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he frowned thinking through something. You raised an eyebrow to silently question him. He walked over to sit on the edge of your bed. "Can we talk," he asked seriously.

You nodded a little on edge. You weren't sure how much your heart could handle. You closed the door and sat besides him.

You stared at the package of wood trying to brace yourself. His jaw kept shifting as his leg bounced like the needle on a sewing machine. "I'm trying to phrase this without prying too much and getting my foot in my mouth," he shared.

You nodded quietly and picked at the fuzzies on your (f/c) cropped hoodie.

"Are you okay," he strained, "Like... are you safe?" "Wha-what," you asked, feeling the wind knocked out of you.

"I jus- there's just these tiny alarm bells that keep glaring at me. Like how you seem so much more comfortable here than your own home. Or how everyone that knows you seems to be protecting you from things as if they have experience in doing so. Or how the tone of everything in that call shifted so drastically. Or how sensitive you are to loud noises and sudden movements. And just- I just- you don't have to tell me anything, I just want to make sure that you're safe. I just... I brought up the tonal shift of the call and Akaashi and Bokuto seemed worried but not surprised and that really didn't sit well with me," he rambled.

You just looked at him shocked he had noticed those details. No one notices those details.

"And maybe I'm just projecting because Kazuma had a kinda shitty home life and I noticed those same types of things before he showed up with bruises he couldn't hide, but I could never forgive myself if I noticed those things again and didn't say anything. As long as your safe I'll drop it," he added in one breath, somehow.

"No, no, it's nothing like that. I'm safe," you promised, noticing his hand trembling as he nodded. You pulled him into a tight hug. He seemed to relax and hugged back just as tightly. "I'm sorry for over reacting," he mumbled into you shoulder. "Don't be. It's tense and stressful, but I'm safe. I promise," you replied.

~~~~~

You waved Yuuji off and noticed you hadn't heard from Chikara or Koushi all day. Mei's hand rested on your shoulder as the train pulled out. "He's a good guy. I know it's shitty now, but the others will come around.

You hummed annoyed and flopped your head on her shoulder. "You sure you're up for a call with Chikara," Mei asked. "I'll be fine," you insisted. "I'm joining you for the call at least," she insisted. "No, Mei," you pleaded. She sighed in defeat and you both turned to head toward the apartment. You stared in horror at the stairs back down to the street.

Why in the hell is Koushi in Tokyo!?

He looked furious. You gripped onto Mei's arm terrified and he just turned to head toward the waiting benches without saying a word. "I'm going to murder Chikara," Mei declared.

You pushed the envelope too far. He saw you with Yuuji. Koushi's going to say no. You're not going to be able to move in. You'll have to push Yuuji away. Akaashi is going to be down a roommate and his dad is trying to pull from the trust fund his grandparents set up for him. And you'll be stuck in that house forever if Koushi doesn't kill you himself.

Everything started to grow blurry as you looked down to see the ground swaying. Sweat began to bead on the back of your neck and on your brow. How can an elephant be sitting on your chest? You're standing up. Are you dying? Fuck you're dying. How could you be dying? What's going on? You were just fine.

You heard something muffled beside you but you couldn't catch it. Were you suddenly under water? Is that why you can't breathe? How did you get under water? When did you get under water? Spots started to cloud your vision.

~~~~~

Please all just be a bad dream. Please still be in bed. Please let Yuuji still be there. "Do you have any idea how much of a fucking dick you and the guys have been to your sister? No fucking wonder she passed out during a panic attack. What is wrong with you," Meiko's voice boomed.

Your eyes fluttered as your heart was already racing. Tears started to well up in your eyes. It was real. All of it was real. You locked eyes with your brother as you sat up. You were on a bench somewhere semi secluded. He looked so hurt and disappointed and Mei blocked him from your line of sight. "Don't you fucking dare," she growled causing you to recoil further in on yourself.

You just wanted to go home. You wanted to go to sleep and forget everything. You just wanted this to all be a bad dream.

"She's my sister Mei," you heard Koushi say behind her frame.

You just pulled your knees in and hugged them to your chest, flinching at the exchange. Part of you was furious at yourself for cowering like this. But what could you do? They were giants. You bit your lip trying to stop it from quivering to refrain from looking anymore pathetic by crying.

"You don't get to pull that fucking card right now. Maybe not by blood, but she is my sister too. Right now she does not need a well intentioned idiot trying to control her life. I am taking her home. To OUR home to help her down from the panic attack you, and the pressure you set, caused. I will get her to school on time tomorrow and whether you want to fucking stay and talk to her WITHOUT lecturing her for trying live a life independent of what you deem okay, you may follow and wait in the living room until she is okay. Try any bullshit at all and I will have Bo drive her to Johzenji so we can finish hashing out this argument until she is ready to stand up for herself," Mei ranted.

You weakly reached out and held onto the hem of her sweatshirt. You couldn't force yourself to move, to speak. The words of their conversation seemed to just pass through you. You could have been replaced by a rock and you'd be none the wiser.

Her face was suddenly near yours and you were able to meet her gaze. Her expression was soft and kind. One that let you know you were safe. Nothing could get to you. You could vaguely feel hands wiping away your tears on your cheek, but it almost felt like second hand knowledge.

"You're in no condition to walk are you," she asked gingerly. The plane was in autopilot. You honestly didn't know. Maybe? None of it felt real. It was like watching a fucked up movie with your thundering heart and panicked thoughts served to be the soundtrack.

Suddenly, you found yourself in the backseat of Bokuto's car. When did you get there? How did you get there? No matter how hard you racked your brain you couldn't recall how you got from that bench to sitting in the backseat with your head on Mei's shoulder and her arm around you protectively.

You'd seen her do the same with Sou before. Was this a panic attack?

No, there was no way. You'd never had one before. It wasn't like your issues would ever warrant one. Other people had it way worse.

"Hey," Bo said lighting up. The car was stopped now. Mei and Koushi were gone. Time kept collapsing and going missing. This had to be a dream. "Mei took your brother inside. She's not going to do anything to him. I made her promise. Let's go sit down," he said gently.

You had only seen Bokuto like this once before and that was when Akaashi had, had a panic attack.

"Sorry," you managed to muttered.

You felt like you were trying to force your brain into cooperation. It was like fighting to get back in the driver's seat. But the comfortable pull of not having to worry, not having to be in control, pulled you back. Was being in the driver's seat worth it?

"Don't apologize. You know how much I love driving," Bokuto reassured.

You had been nothing but an inconvenience to them. How could you not be sorry? You weren't going to make him have to legitimately carry you in. You'd troubled them enough.

Without another word you nodded and focused as hard of you could on willing your body to get out of the car. Every movement felt like pushing through a thick sludge.

~~~~~

After what must have been the longest walk in your entire life you made it into the apartment and the smell of hot chocolate filled your nose. You wanted it so bad, but the thought of moving more made you feel even more exhausted. You still haven't even talked to Chikara.

The door opened before you could contemplate just letting yourself collapse and ignoring all of the things. "I didn't do anything. Keij is talking to him on the balcony," Mei's voice said. Your heart plummeted deeper. They were probably discussing you not living in the apartment next year.

"Come on, let's go sit on your new bed. Let's just take a second to breathe. Everything is going to be okay," Mei insisted. Someone was hyperventilating. Guessing from Mei's concerned expression it was you that was hyperventilating.

You nodded and braced against the door grimacing as you toed off your shoes. Your legs stung like they were asleep. You'd almost rather the out of body floating or the weights than this. You trudged your way though the apartment and followed Mei into your room. You plopped on the bottom bunk.

The Christmas lights lit up and you heard the mattress on top shift. "Wow! This is really sturdy! And comfy! You did a really good job, (Y/n)," Bokuto's voice exclaimed from up top. Mei sat against the pillows and you just laid your head in her lap.

You wanted to cry so badly, but nothing would come out. Mei's fingers combed through your hair and you finally let yourself relax.

"I still can't think of a name. I was considering maybe something western. You know! Like french! Because he looks all fancy," Bokuto shared. You looked toward the pot holder and spotted the sweatshirt Terushima had slept in on the desk chair.

You forced yourself up and walked over to grab it, before walking back to lie your head in Mei's lap once more. You closed your eyes and hugged the sweatshirt to your chest. You could almost convince yourself you were asleep.

~~Akaashi~~

He sat across from the older Sugawara and held onto the ankle of his crossed leg. After seeing the absolute terror and exhaustion on both (Y/n) and Terushima when they spotted Ennoshita, he was furious at the person across from him for putting the very person he was trying to protect into the situation he was was trying to protect her from.

"Let this go," was all Akaashi said. There were a million choice words he wanted to have with Sugawara-san, but he knew Mei already must have.

"You can't control what happens to her. Trying to do so is only going to hurt her worse than whatever else could hurt her. Do you think we care about her so little, we'd let something hurt her? Do you think so little of your own sister, that you're convinced she can't possibly do anything for herself," Akaashi asked, trying to maintain his composure. "No! Of course not," Koushi insisted on the verge of tears.

Akaashi sighed, feeling the anger dissipate for pity. He didn't envy Koushi in the slightest. The guilt he must feel for causing (Y/n) to work herself up so much she fainted during her panic attack must already have crushed him.

"He's a smart kid that speaks before he thinks. Sometimes he's wrong. He miscalculated with Kiyoko and when Meiko confronted him about it, he was genuinely sorry and even accidentally revealed something personal in the process. Even if he was an asshole, you're going to have to let go and let her find out on her own. Helicoptering over her like this is only going to make living on her own that much more difficult. You meant well, but it's not working any more Sugawara-san. And when things don't work, we have to let them go," Akaashi tried to reason.

He watched as Koushi just stare at his hands in shock. "H-how long was he here," he asked hesitantly. "He stayed over night. And before you do or say something stupid that will trigger me to stop resisting the urge to lose my composure and snap at you, I would not let someone stay in this apartment if I thought they were a threat to the safety of anyone else in any capacity. Bokuto-san and Meiko also stayed over," Akaashi pointed out.

He recalled the talk he had with Terushima, over why he really came all the way to Tokyo. One of the few moments on their own. The kid was honest to a fault. Akaashi still recalled the deep seeded worry in the other's eyes.

"The only reason Terushima had come by in the first place was because he was concerned about (Y/n) not responding after cutting off a call abruptly where he heard you and her both sounding worried. He wanted to make sure she was safe," Akaashi added before Koushi could say anything, "He came from his dorms at Johzenji to Tokyo to make sure she was safe."

Koushi just avoided his gaze, staring at the table. A million thoughts behind his eyes. "I don't know Terushima personally. I have no reason to defend him other than the fact that he makes (Y/n), someone important to someone important to me, and someone I consider my own friend, incredibly fucking happy," Akaashi continued.

Koushi just nodded biting at a hangnail now.

Akaashi took a breath wanting this to be over, "I'm sorry you didn't meet the version of him she pulls out first, but if you're going to harp on the fact that she lied and hid this behind your back maybe you should also consider why she had to do so in the first place. I'm going to leave you here to sort through your thoughts and emotions in private, so I can check on my friend. I really hope you fix this, and let her be happy, because she cares about you so fucking much. She just wants you to be proud of her."

He stood and walked for the door. "Akaashi," Koushi strained. His voice seemed to catch in his throat part-way through. "How do I fix this," he asked sounding lost. Akaashi turned to partially look at both Koushi and the door for a moment. "Give her time. Let her be her own person," Akaashi suggested, "Ask her about the guy she likes and actually listen without jumping in to lecture or judge anything."

~~~~~

He opened the door to her room and she was hugging a sweatshirt, with her head in Mei's lap. She looked awful. Her face was drained of all life from behind that sweatshirt she was gripping onto like it was a lifeline. "Nii," (Y/n) choked out, barely above a whisper. "He's on the balcony, taking a moment to sort through his emotions. He'll be fine. How are you doing," Akaashi asked walking closer. "Been better," she mumbled weakly.

"Theodore," Bokuto exclaimed. "I thought you said French," Mei asked. "That's not French," Bo asked genuinely confused. (Y/n) managed a tired smile as Akaashi chuckled at Bo who was partially hanging off of the top bunk. "Have you been trying to think of a name for the plant this entire time," Akaashi asked. "No," Bo insisted defensively, "I had to focus on the road when I was driving!"

~~~~~
~~Your POV~~

You woke up to hear a soft humming. You looked over to see Koushi sitting where Mei had. "I'm sorry," you both said and at the same time. You had shot up to a sitting position. He shook his head pulling you into a tight hug. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he started before you could get another word in. You gripped onto the hug desperately and felt the tears start to form as he choked up.

"I didn't realize- I didn't mean to be so controlling and I'm so sorry," he apologized into your shoulder, "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I wanted to come up and surprise you with dinner after working on the room all weekend. I didn't mean to work you up like that and I'm so fucking sorry."

"You don't hate me for lying? For talking to him behind your back," you choked out through you own sobs. "I'm not going to lie, I was mad. I was really mad, but Akaashi and Meiko made some really good points. I- I don't fault you for that now. I'm sorry I was such a hardass. I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to hide things from me. I don't want to be like mom. I'm supposed to protect you from that," he choked out between sobs of his own, "I could never hate you. You are my baby sister. As far as I'm concerned you are my only relative and I would literally burn the world to the ground if it meant keeping you safe. I raised you, I love you so much kid. Seeing how much pain and stress I caused you tonight-... I'm sorry."

You finally felt like you could breathe. You were so light that you feared you'd float away if your brother hadn't be holding onto you. A knock sounded at your door before it opened. You wiped your eyes chuckling, "Bo if you're just going to open the door that defeats the purpose of knocking." He had his phone to his ear and he looked at your brother who was trying compose himself.

"This awkward," Bokuto said. "You need to give me a second," Bokuto said sassily. You realized who he must be talking to. "When did you get his number," you asked. "When we were rewatching Dragonball," Bokuto shared, "Also check your phone. When-." Bo cut himself off and glanced at Koushi hesitantly. "Oh. It's Terushima isn't it," Koushi asked. You nodded. "It's fine," he said a bit strained. You looked at him hesitantly.

You jumped up as your phone went off again. You pulled it out. It was only 11:30 at night. "What the fuck," you murdered. "Chikara and Kuroo," you muttered. "I'll handle Ennoshita," Koushi offered pulling out his own phone. You looked at him confused. "Consider it part of the apology," he said. You pulled him into another hug. "Thank you," You said.

"I don't know dude," Bo said into the phone, tired.

You answered Kuroo. "Hey dickhead. Shit timing. I'm handing you to Bo he can redirect you to left brain one and two I need to handle something," you answered. "Never mind," Kuroo started. "No, just give me a few minutes please," you pleaded, "Bo swap." He seemed startled by the assertive tone back in your voice. He complied and you took his phone before walking out for some privacy.

"I didn't exactly get a chance to read the messages," you admitted. "(Y/n), what happened? Are you okay? Was that your brother? What's going on? What the hell happened after I left? Why do you sound like you've been crying," he demanded.

You made it to the balcony and pulled your knees in grimacing at the thought of have to run through it all. "I'm ok. I just- Honestly, I'm exhausted and I'm really not up for recounting everything, uh but... TLDR my brother tried to surprise me with dinner and found out about everything I lied to him about. He apologized about me having to lie in the first place. There was a lot of crying. Protective Meiko, Bo, and Akaashi made an appearance because bad mental state TM, but I took a nap and it's better now, but I'm tired. Also you left your sweatshirt here. Oh and Bokuto finally named the marble pothos," you relayed.

"Bad mental state," he asked pointedly. He sounded like Akaashi. He never sounded like Akaashi. "I- I may have worked myself into a panic attack," you shared. All confidence you had mustered earlier was gone. "I'm not upset with you. I'm just worried," he said in reply. You started to draw patterns in your knees in an attempt to self soothe.

"Please tell me you're not going to try to go to school tomorrow," he pleaded. "I'm fine," you insisted. "If you need me to, I can harbor you here," he added. "Really, I'm okay. I'm just tired," you insisted. "Code for you're not okay at all but you're too emotionally exhausted to elaborate," he asked sounding mad again. "You sound mad," you worried and weren't able to continue your sentence.

"I'm not mad. I'm not happy, but I'm not mad. I promise. I don't want to hold you up any longer, you need rest. Okay? Drink some water, go to bed and if you're not up for it don't force yourself in, please," he pleaded. "Okay," you agreed. "I'm going to text you to check in and see how you're doing tomorrow, okay," he asked. "Okay," you agreed.

"I'm going to let you go but you have to make two promises first," he pleaded. "Okay," you agreed like a broken record. "Promise you'll be completely honest about how you're doing tomorrow," he said. "I will," you agreed. "I want to hear you say it," he said gently. "I promise to be completely honest about how I'm doing tomorrow," you complied.

"And I want you to promise that if you're not okay, you're going to let yourself be selfish and put your own needs first," he finished. You took a deep breath and promised, "If I'm not okay I promise to let myself be selfish and worry about my own needs first."

"Thank you. Now get some rest sunshine," Yuuji said softly. "You too. I'm sorry for worrying you Yuuji," you said. "Don't be sorry. Night," he replied. "Good night," you said and hung up. You looked down at the phone.

"I might have judged him a bit prematurely," Koushi said from the doorway back inside. You whipped your head over startled. He held out your phone and added, "Akaashi and Mei handled Kuroo. The Karasuno guard dogs have been called off. Why don't you come inside and tell me about him," Koushi offered. You nodded rushing over to pull Koushi into a tight hug.