"God why does she have to be so cute"
Robins pov:
The second I'm in the bathroom and I lock the door I take one big ass sigh of relief. I look my self in the mirror and spray some water on my face but like..... God why does she have to be so cute.
But just the way she can like blush at anything and her skin is just like so fucking soft and not to mention her eyes.
They are just so damn beautiful to look at an-. I am pulled out of my thoughts by Angela knocking on the door and saying "hey Robin I got the music" "oh okay i'll be out in a second" i respond "okay".
I look at myself in the mirror one more time, take a deep breath and walk out the door. But the second I am out of that bathroom all that confidence just goes out the window.
And all I can see is Angela putting on the record and when the song starts to play she stands up and starts to sway her hips a little. I go to join her accidentally tripping over my own feet.
I catch myself but that doesn't stop the embarrassing feeling I got or the blush forming on my cheeks. I take a second to put myself back together, breathe and then walk to prop myself onto Angela's door frame.
Angela's pov:
The second the music hit my ears it reminded me of those once in blue moon moments when me, mom, and jack find the time at the end of the day to have a dance party after having a day of just being together. And it just seems like the night can never end.
I sway my hips to the rhythm of the song feeling the grove flow through me. And I forgot I was not alone until I heard Robin say "nice dancing"."oh...um...thank you" i say turing towards her "yeah.....is it okay if I...a..join?" "Um..yeah of course get over here".
I grab Robin's hand and pull her farther into my room. We dance for so long, laughing and dancing and not having one care in the world.
Well that was true until I had walked into the kitchen and saw that it was 8:10. I then rushed back to my room and yelled in a frantic voice "MY MOM IS GOING TO BE HOME SOON WE NEED TO CLEAN UP" "oh um okay l-lets go".
We start to frantically clean the house. When we are done with cleaning the kitchen and living room we walk to the front door.
I go and grab robin's jacket and hand it to her. check the clock one more time and it's 8:46. We kinda just stand there in awkward silence. After a couple of seconds I start to think about this whole day and the bear we won earlier.
I tell Robin that I'll be right back and run back to my room and grab my backpack. I pull the bear out of it and go back to the front door where Robin is. I try to give the bear to her and saying "hey...um.....if you want it you ca-" "oh no you can keep it" "but I already ha-" "dude just take the bear besides I got it for you".
I then pause for a second I was not expecting her to say that, kinda took me by surprise. "Well .....um thank you but are you sure you don't want it" she pauses for a second but then says "yeah I'm sure just take good care of it" "okay I promise"
We then kind of just stand there in silence until Robin puts her hand on my shoulder and says "I had a lot of fun I just hate that it had to end" "yeah me to.......maybe we could do it again when we are both free" "yeah I would really like that". She then moves her hand form my shoulder
We walk outside and we just stare at nothing for a little bit until she starts to leave but I grab her sleeve and pull her into a hug when the hug ends she says good bye, waves, and then gets back on her bike and rides home.
I walk back inside and back to my room. When I am in my room I put the bear on my dresser. I go and grab my cassette player and a cassette tape my old friend made me before I moved.
I put it in the cassette player and as the song plays I lay on my bed and close my eyes and my mind immediately starts to think about Robin. And just how her hair is so amazing, and her eyes are just the best shade of blue, and how she is like so confident in everything she says or more like comfortable.
But still she is just so fun and amazing to be around she's so damn smart too not that I didn't think she wasn't smart before but shit she's fluent in like four languages. But that's when the worst memory of mine plays in my head. The memory of my dad leaving, well more of what happened before he left.
(Memory) (homophobia warning)
I was 15 at the time I had just gotten home from my friends house. I tried to walk into my room but my dad called me into the kitchen were he was sitting. He then says "so I found something in your room so could you please explain this to me". He pulls out the one thing I wish he never found, he found the thing that terrified me. And it made my heart drop.
I start to stutter "well ug-um....I.... Well ugh.... I really don't know how and why were you in my room" "GOD DAMNIT ANGELA I CAN'T BELIEVE I FOUND THIS FUCKING SHIT IN YOUR ROOM" " WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU IN MY ROOM" "ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION ANGELA"
My mom then runs to were we are "why the hell are the two of you yelling" "I found this shit in your daughters room" my dad then slides the magazine to my mom. She looks at the cover for a second and then says "Henry........WHAT THE FUCK IS WORNG WITH YOU" "what the hell do you mean what's wrong with me you should be asking what the hell is WORNG with your daughter"
"Number one she's your daughter to" "no she is not, not when she could be A FUCKING QUEER" "yeah what if she was Henry what is the fucking worst that could fucking happen if she was". He then went silent for a little bit but then said "you know what if you are going to allow this then I'm fucking leaving"
"FUCKING DO IT HENRY" he then gets up and goes to the door but not before giving me the worst look any "dad" could give. The second he was out the door my mom closed her eyes and put her fingers on the bridge of her nose and sighed.
She then looks back at the magazine for a couple seconds and then looks at me. She sighs and then walks over to where I am. She sits next to me and says "hey....um...I am really sorry for what dad just did and said if there is anything you need to say you can but you don't have to".
I truly had no idea what to say I was completely stuck in that chair it just hurt so much to actually know that the one man I looked up to for so long just walk out of my life for something I barely understand. I knew that I didn't find that most interest in boys but I never really thought about girls that way.
I didn't even notice I was crying until my mom had hugged me. And it felt like I was crying for hours. But when I did stop I was still so confused and angry.
My mom then pulls me out of the hug and says " if you are gay that's okay I mean it will be so hard to live but if your not that's also okay just know I am here to talk to". She then gives one last hug and then grabs some lighter fluid and a lighter and said "so.....do you want to burn or sell his clothes".
(Back to real time)
The second I'm back from the memory I then realize I just might be the thing my dad walked out on me and my family for and stopped calling me his daughter for and that scared the shit out of me. At some point I start to ball my eyes out heading to the drawer I had put that fucking picture at.
I grab it and throw it on my bed. I head to the garage and grab a pair scissors and head back to my room. As pick up the picture I take a second remembering everything my dad said. All of his shitty homophobic jokes, his side remarks on jack, everthing right up to that day he left.
And i just start cutting the picture as much as i can. Even when there's nothing left to cut my angry just didn't stop. I throw the scissors to the side of my room. And start to throw everything i could get my hands on to the ground.
But then I face the wall all i can see is him and that look he gave me before he left. And its like something in me cracked.
I just couldn't hold it back anymore and i started to punch the wall and I just keep hitting it over and over and over again. And I keep hitting it until I hear my mom yell behind me "What are you doing?" As i turn around all i can do is just start crying a whole new set of tears.
She pulls me into a very much needed hug. And I start to completely let it go ugly crying and sobbing. "Hey angela what's going on" dad's right i'm a fucking q-queer" she then pulls my head from the hug looking into my eyes.
She says "hey dad can't hurt you anymore I'm right here....... And the fact that you like girls will not only make your life harder but it will make you so much stronger as a person".
I then pull myself back into the hug she then starts to caress the top of my head and saying "just breath okay follow me 1.....2.....3 and......1....2....3 now just keep doing that in 1,2,3 and out 1,2,3".
After maybe an hour of that I finally feel myself calm down. She then pulls me out of the hug but leaving both her hands on my shoulders. She takes a moment before saying "hey look at me okay don't ever call yourself that in that tone ok cause my baby isn't just fucking gay she's a badass gay".
She wipes away tears as a smile forms on my face. "You wanna talk about it? You dont have to but if you do im here"
After a couple seconds of silence I finally say "um.....yeah I would like that" "okay" "well...um.....do you remember when I had to go get that back to the future movie?"i ask. "yeah I do" she says shaking her head yes.
"um....well....there is this girl that works there here name is Robin and we hung out today a-and-" "and you think you might like her".
"yeah b-but i'm scared because of dad and i just don't want life to be harder tha-" "hey dad can't hurt you as long as I am here and also I would really like to meet this Robin girl one day....you know if you two are going to start dating I would li-" "mom stop I don't even know if she likes girls" "eh you'll know when you know".
She then goes and grabs the scissors and pieces of the cut up picture she looks at the pieces and then with one big sigh she goes and throws it in the trash. She then comes back over to me and says "I just want you to know that whatever you decide is the life for you i'll be right here" "okay.....um mom....thank you for everything" "you don't have to thank me for being a parent".
"Let's go clean up your hands" "oh um yeah sorry about that" "it's okay because your the one who's gonna fix it" she ends in a laugh, i give her slight chuckle.
After she's done cleaning my hands and the wall she then hugged me one last time and then said "good night angel" "good night". She then walked out of my room locking the door behind her. I let out a big a sigh of relief it just felt so much better to get that off my chest. It just finally fills like this house is actually my home for the first time.
I start to truly think about it and yeah I really do like Robin but I really don't know what to do with that information so I just say fuck it and go to the kitchen to grab something to eat. After I grab some chips I head back to my room and put on some pajamas.
But then my brother nocks on my door, I open the door and ask him "what do you want jack?" "it's just I'm scared because I read this book and" "and you want to sleep in my room so you feel safe" "yeah"he says putting his head down. "dude your 13 now you don't need me to fight your fears anymore" "yeah but-" "do you want me to leave the hallway light on" " yeah".
"okay follow me" we then walk to the light switch for the hallway and I turn it on. We walk to his room. When he is in bed I say "hey you want me to sing to you?" "Yeah" "okay just give me a second". I start to sing twinkle twinkle little star.
After i'm done singing I look at him and he's fast asleep "good night jack" I whisper and kiss him on the four head. I gently walk out of his room and closed the door as quietly as I can.
I walk back to my room and before I completely close the door Lila comes running in. She again jumps onto my bed putting her self in spiral. I then go lay on my bed. God today was a roller coaster I really hope robins okay. I then eventually fall asleep with Lila in my arms.