Everything but the girl

LENA’S POV

At the age of 21, Lena was pretty pleased with her life: she had a family that loved her, friends that supported her, anything that money could buy (not that she was a spoiled rich brat, but coming from a powerful family had its benefits) and was on her way to getting her second degree (again, perks of coming from a family of geniuses). You could argue that she had everything one could want, but that’s where Lena would disagree: she had everything but the girl.

You see, Lena had always wanted a normal college experience, so she had decided to try out living in the dorms instead of using her family’s money to get an apartment. It had worked out very well for her for a while, but with Andrea finishing her business degree and moving out to live with her girlfriend Kelly, she had been left with a complete stranger for a roommate at the beginning of the year. While she hadn’t been too thrilled about the idea, that had all changed the moment she met the actual person she would be sharing a room with: the one and only Kara Danvers.

Lena had never been the kind to have silly crushes, if anything her friends would accuse her of having an almost non-existent love life, but from the moment she met Kara, she knew she was in trouble. There was something about the journalism major that had Lena hanging onto every word she said and looking at her like she hung the stars in the sky. Which is why, two months into this living arrangement, she found herself hopelessly ranting to her best friend for the millionth time.

“A whole sticky bun, Sam, she fit a whole sticky bun in her mouth. How she managed to look like the cutest squirrel in the world and not gross and rude is well beyond me, truly, but she did manage. All I’m saying is that it’s not fair to make me find this things adorable when the smart, kind girl doing them is as painfully straight as an arrow”, Lena said, sighing.

“Lena, we pretty much have the same conversation every two days or so: Kara does something, you become a pining lesbian mess in my room, I tell you it’s a miracle that the girl hasn’t noticed how big your crush on her is, you tell me she’s adorably oblivious, I tell you to make a move, you tell me she’s straight, I tell you once again that there’s no way in hell she’s straight, you say that even if she wasn’t, you wouldn’t make a move ‘cause she doesn’t like you and you’d make it weird…”

“Point made, Sam”, Lena interrupted, lifting her hands in surrender and sighing again. “I just…I’ve never liked someone this much and I’m out of my depth here, you know? It’s just not nice, knowing you don’t stand a chance.”

“Yeah, I get that”, Sam said, getting a weird look on her face. “Well, anyway, you should do something to put yourself out of your misery.”

“Enlighten me”, Lena replied, arching an eyebrow.

“Well, I don’t know, you’re the genius, aren’t you?”, Sam said, smirking.

“You’re no help and you are mean.”

“Lena, you literally come to my room multiple times a week to whine while I try to study, if I’m not the best friend you’ll ever have…”

“I can’t really argue with that, can I? I guess I’ll leave you to it and go get some work of my own done”, with that, she stood up from Sam’s bed and walked up to her best friend to give her a quick hug. “Thanks for listening, darling, love you!”, she called out as she stepped out the door.

SAM’S POV

Sam let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as soon as Lena walked out of her room. She wanted to be supportive and help Lena out with her crush, but it wasn’t really easy considering she had been in love with her best friend for quite some time now. Listening to Lena rant hopelessly was incredibly hard for her, seeing how smitten she looked and knowing she would never be the one on the receiving end of those comments or looks.

The worst part was that she got it, she really did. Sure, she disliked the idea of Kara on principle, this was someone who had won her best friend’s heart without even trying, after all. If they were dating… it would be so much harder for Sam, but at least she would get to see Lena happy. It just seemed like such a waste to have the girl she was in love with pining after someone who didn’t return her feelings, especially when she was standing right there, waiting to give Lena the world if she just asked. And still… she got it. She hadn’t met Kara more than a couple of times in passing, but she was just one of those genuinely nice people who capture and hold your attention without even trying or noticing. Hell, she herself would have a crush on her if she wasn’t already head over heels for Lena.

Rubbing her forehead, she gave up on the assignment she was trying to focus on for the time being and picked up her phone, dialing a number she was frequently calling these days. After a few rings, the person on the other end of the line picked up.

“What did she say this time, cielo?”, Andrea asked in a gentle tone, the Spanish pet name all too familiar and sympathetic by now. She loved Lena dearly, but it was in times like this that she wanted to smack her in the back of the head and make her realize exactly what was going on.

“It’s just…sorry, I shouldn’t have called, it’s the same old thing…”

“Sam, what did she say? Even if it’s the same thing as always, you can’t keep it all in, it’s not gonna do you any good.”

“Well, look who’s been taking notes from her girlfriend’s book.”

“Excuse you, I’ve always been an amazing friend…but I suppose it does help that Kelly is a therapist. Anyhow, don’t change the subject. You called me for a reason, so let it out.”

“It’s just hard, Andrea. The look she gets…I want her to look at me like that. She said that it hurts her that she’s not an option and the idea that she’s hurting like I am kills me, but at the same time, the idea of them together... and I’m trying, Andrea, I’m trying to be a good friend, but it’s just so hard. Every time that she says she loves me makes my chest burn because I know that she means it, but I want more and she just…she doesn’t know and she can’t know”, Sam said, her voice shaking a bit.

“Maybe she should know, cielo”, Andrea said. “She’s your friend, you know she’s not gonna judge you for it. She’s hurting you with all of this because she doesn’t know, but maybe if she did, she could at least spare you the listening to her pining part.”

“No, I know you’re right, she’s not…she’s not gonna make it weird and it’s not like I lose anything either way, I never stood a chance, so…” she trailed off.

“So you tell her and she can ramble about the human golden retriever to me or Kelly so you’ll at least catch a break from all of this. Just please look after yourself.”

“I know, Andrea, I know. I don’t want to make it weird or to have her feeling guilty for any of this, but I know you’re right.”

“Good. I hate to cut this short, but I need to do some things for work. I’ll call you tonight to check on you.”

“Andrea, you really don’t have to…”

“Hush, it’s my job as the mom friend.”

“Since when are you the mom friend? I’ve literally had to carry your drunk ass home from every single bar in this city.”

“That was before I got a serious job and became a fully functional adult.”

“Kelly told me all about how you got wasted and wanted to get on top of a table to dance last weekend.”

“…I’m gonna kill her. Anyway, talk to Lena.”

“I will, I will, now go work, be a real adult and all that jazz.”

“Talk later, bye!”

With that, Sam hung the phone and focused on her assignment once again. Sometime later, she jumped from her chair as someone incessantly pounded on her door. Trying to calm her racing heart after getting startled, she opened her door only for a panting Lena to walk past her and into the bedroom.

“Not that I didn’t miss you, but what has you returning here not even an hour after you left? Wait, did you run here? Lena, you never run, what the hell? Is everything okay?” Sam asked, getting more scared by the minute.

“Yeah, no, everything…it’s all good, I’m just in shock, I think? It’s Kara”.

“Oh. Lena, about that, I need to-” Sam started.

“SHE’S NOT STRAIGHT!”

“-tell you…wait, what did you just say?”

“She…when I got back, she was watching Tomb Raider. I made some offhand comment about how Angelina Jolie is one of the hottest women I have ever seen in my life and she said that she’s surprised she didn’t realize she’s bisexual sooner because she’s always had an obsession with her in that role.”

“And what did you say?”

“I blurted out that I’ve always known I’m a lesbian and then she mentioned how funny it is that we got roomed together, something about gays flocking together. And then I made a quick excuse and ran here to tell you.”

“Lena, let me see if I’m getting this right: your crush, who you won’t stop talking about and who you claimed was straight as an arrow (you owe me twenty bucks, by the way), just came out to you and instead of, I don’t know, trying to see if she’s dating someone or interested in going on a date with you, YOU MADE AN EXCUSE AND RAN ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO TELL ME???”

“…well, when you put it like that, it does not sound very smart, no.”

“You are so incredibly dumb sometimes, I swear. Go talk to her!”

“No, no way, Sam, it’s just a mess waiting to happen if she finds out I like her.”

“Well, a) she’d have to be insane not to like you back-”

“You’re just saying that because you’re my friend.”

“- and b) this is Kara Danvers we’re talking about, she’s a human puppy, she’d never make you feel bad about this”, Sam finished, ignoring the way her heart seemed to be cracking.

“I don’t want to fuck it up, I’m not making a move unless I have proof that she likes me back.”

“Well, genius, how are you gonna find out if you don’t talk to her?”

“About that…if she liked me and she were to see me with someone, she might get jealous. That would be all the proof I’d need”, Lena said, looking at Sam pleadingly.

“Lena, no”, Sam said, already seeing where this was heading.

“Sam, please, you’re my best friend, we could really sell it. I’m not good at acting, but you and I? We are so close we’re practically together.”

“Lena…” Sam argued weakly, seeing Lena’s puppy eyes.

“Help me, Obi Sam Kenobi, you’re my only hope”, Lena said, teasingly biting her lip, but her eyes showed how much this meant to her.

“…you’re so fucking lucky I love you”, Sam said, knowing Lena would not understand the full extent of her words.

“Thank you, Sam, thank you, you’re a lifesaver, we…oh, shit, you were working on that assignment, I’ll go, we can work out the specifics later, but thank you, I owe you big time”, Lena said, hugging Sam. “Talk later?”

“Sure, lunch tomorrow?”, Sam asked, already regretting her decision.

“Works for me. Okay, I’ll leave you to it for real this time. Thank you for this, Sam, you really are the best.”

As the door closed again, Sam finally allowed herself to feel the weight of the decision she had made.

“Fuck”, she whispered, reaching for her phone again and opening a certain chat to send a voice note. “Hey, Andrea, I know you said you’d call me later, but you know how I was gonna tell Lena everything? Well…”