“I love you”- whizzvin
Marvin would freak out every time he woke up, eyes flashing open as he sat up, hands flustering as he reached out for Whizzers.
The fingers would close slowly around his own and Marvin would flinch. Not because of the hand finding his, but because the fingers felt as though they were a strangers, now coarse and cold compared to the warmth and softness of them before- before he got diagnosed with AIDS.
Now Marvin's every mornings were taken over by the panic of checking on Whizzer. The nurses would come in, bustling around the room, opening curtains and checking on Whizzers vitals, while he just stared into marvin's eyes, trying to smile.
He was weak, some days he could sit up, other days he couldn't even open his eyes, trying to move his fingers to curl them around Marvin's.
He wouldn't talk, just listen, and Marvin was scared that he would forget what Whizzers voice sounded like, asking him questions to coax words out of him. Marvin would just sit by his side all day, only leaving to get coffee, he too was getting skinny, losing weight and looking paler day by day, although he blamed it on the lack of vitamin C and the bountiful amount of stress. But one day Charlotte cornered him, explaining how the virus spread, explaining how he may have it too.
Then she went home to her girlfriend and cried in her arms, whilst Marvin plastered a smile on his face and went back into the hospital room to stay the night, Whizzer as the big spoon and only once he was asleep, Marvin started sobbing into his hand. The dread of what was to come, draining the blood from his face, numbing him from the inside out as he watched what the virus had done to the love of his life, how he had changed from the intelligent, sexual man to a shell, so broken that he was almost unrecognisable.
Marvin was fired once his bosses found out he was gay. After his divorce he didn't particularly hide his sexuality, not minding if people stared at him and Whizzer kissing in the gym changing rooms, or the homophobic comments yelled at them on the street if they held hands. He didn't care, he wanted to spend all of his time he had left with Whizzer, he gave up, knowing he wouldn't be alive for long. They both knew how it was going to turn out, and whizzer was counting down the days.
Marvin would make the bed around Whizzer, telling him about Jason's latest chess match at school, or how he didn't drop the bat in baseball, and how Cordelia cooked something that was slightly edible for once, and Whizzer just smiled.
He saved his words for Jason's Bar Mitzvah, pretending he was back to normal around the child, speaking like usual, his normal banter with Marvin, picking at the ugly patterned tie he wore and scoffing at it, and for a moment, Marvin had the tiniest sliver of hope that maybe everything will be alright. Whizzer stole a moment from Trina when no one was watching.
"Promise me you'll keep him safe."
"What?"
His face changed instantly to one that was so serious as he whispered into her ear.
"You need to look after him, I can't hold on much longer."
Then he smiled at her, complementing the dress she was wearing and almost fell into Marvin's arms, watching his son become a man, crying with happiness as he realised how Jason did it all for him, how Jason loved Whizzer the same amount as Whizzer loved him. He remembered the first time Jason called him Dad, it was normal, probably an accident, Whizzer giving him a plate of snacks as his head was buried in his homework, "thanks Dad." Whizzer stopped dead in his tracks and just stared, expecting him to take it back, but he didn't change it. Whizzer went into their kitchen and cried without meaning to, Marvin quickly asking him what was wrong.
"He called me dad."
"Oh, do you not like it?"
"No I love it."
From then on, he would often switch between 'Whizzer' and 'Dad' and finally, Whizzer felt as though he was part of a family who loved him. Finally he felt safe.
He keeled forward at the end of the Bar Mitzvah, reaching out for Jason as he did, the tears were so close to falling down his face as he saw his son, now a man.
"Thank you." He whispered so that only Jason could hear, he could see the scared look on his face. Marvin caught him as he fell, Mendel helping to pick him up as Charlotte took over, leading him out of the room to somewhere more private. She looked un phased to the group, but whispered in Marvin's ear "press the emergency button. Quick!"
Whizzer was instantly surrounded by people he didn't know, shaking and weak, coughing blood slightly as he was laid on a hospital bed, machines attached to him. He felt everything slip away, but forced himself to stay awake so he could see Marvin one last time.
"I'm here, I'm here."
"Marvin?"
His vision was clouded, but he could see the hazy figure leaning over him, reaching for his face to gently brush away the hair.
"Yes. I love you so much."
"Marvin, I'm scared."
Whizzer started to cry, for the first time since he got taken into the hospital and it terrified Marvin, quickly holding his hand and stroking his knuckles the way he used to love it after sex.
"Me too."
"I love you, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die."
It was almost a chant, his semi conscious mind and drugs not able to control what he was saying in the delirious tears and fighting. All Marvin could do was stay strong, hold Whizzers hand and try to calm him before the inevitable.
"I love you Whizzer."
"I love you-"
He relaxed finally, after his year long fight, and Marvin just sat there as the grip on his hand loosened and his heart cracked and fell apart, silent tears falling down his face.
"I love you too." He whispered softly before pressing a kiss on whizzers still warm lips, "I'll see you soon."
He got up quietly and punched the wall, throwing off his Kippah and yelling at Trina before he broke down in her arms, body wracked with sobs.
Finally he stopped crying long enough to ask her...
"How do I tell Jason that I'm going to be gone soon too?"