Work (It) Out

Chapter 12

As Eve was walking toward V’s gym, she felt her heart racing. She was very nervous. So nervous she changed her outfit three times. Three times! She never cared about what she wore, she simply liked turtlenecks and she liked comfy trousers. She just had to look presentable at her lectures, not necessarily nice. Also, who cares what their professor wears? Focus on their lecture, not clothes! The point is, she realized she cared what Villanelle thought. 

Oksana had been somewhat critical of the professor’s wardrobe but would drop it when Eve said so. Also, the young student had been figuring out her own style so she didn’t have as much time to focus on Eve’s. But the brunette knew now that Villanelle had definitely found her style. When she saw her at the bar, even the professor could tell she was wearing designer clothes. She could also tell that she cared about what she wore to work-out. Clothes meant something to the gym owner. But, there were also… feelings. Eve cared about Villanelle, so she cared about her opinions, whether she agreed with them or not.

Villanelle believed clothes were a perfect way of expressing yourself without words. The clothes were words. She hated how Oksana dressed and when she moved to Paris, her wardrobe was another thing she changed. She wore whatever made her feel confident. She cared about how she looked and she wanted people to know that. Even when she was exercising, she had certain clothes to wear, because she wanted to look good while she was doing what she loved. She also wanted to look good for others. To impress them. She wanted to prove to Eve who she was now. Who she’d become. She was someone new, someone much better and she wanted Eve to know it.

Eve was wearing a white button-up shirt and army green high-waisted trousers, with white boots. It was a very trendy look, at least by her standards. Villanelle, on the other hand, was sporting a very fluffy short pink dress. Very fluffy. She paired it with short black boots, ones that emphasized her calf muscles, not that they needed much emphasis. Her legs were something she had focused on for a while, with her running and all. They were muscular, but not too muscular that they took away from other parts of her body, you could definitely see the curvature of her thigh and calf muscles. I mean Eve could, as she walked up to the front of the gym. You couldn’t really miss the pink dress.

“Hi,” Eve’s mouth was weirdly dry so she cleared her throat, “Nice... dress.”

“Thank you, Eve,” She did a little curtsy, emphasizing her legs even more without realizing it, “You look good too. Do you dress like this for all of your lunches?” She smirked, turning on her heels, and started walking down the street. Eve instinctively following next to her, rolling her eyes, not even bothering with a response.

They walked for a few minutes in somewhat comfortable silence. Well, it wasn’t silence. There were plenty of people on the street, cars, buses, all of that. So it wasn’t silent, there were just no words between them.

“Uh, where are we going?” The professor finally asked, realizing they’d never specified a place to eat. 

“I know a place.” The blonde simply said, looking ahead. Eve already knew better than to question her. It was weird. The two had been to lunch together countless times before. Cafes, expensive restaurants, even visited a couple of food trucks. But this lunch was very different. It didn’t even feel like it was them. In a way, it kinda wasn’t. One of them technically did change their name.

After a couple more minutes, they turned down a small street and arrived in front of a cute diner that was tucked away in a corner. Eve frowned. It looked like one you’d find in the rural USA. Not in London. Not in the UK period. But, then again, Oksana did always have a new restaurant for them to try so the professor wasn’t surprised that Villanelle had found this place. 

The blonde opened the glass door, holding it for Eve. The professor gave her an awkward smile and went in, Villanelle in tow. It was oddly bright in the diner, the sun’s rays gleaming off of the off-white marble. 

“Hello, Daria.” Villanelle grinned, smiling at the hostess, who had suddenly appeared out of thin air. “Is my usual seat free?” The hostess nodded.

Eve noticed the blonde seemed oddly comfortable here. She knew the hostess by name and had a ‘usual seat’. The professor couldn’t help but stare, the blonde's face seemed relaxed. Yet focused. It was a combination she’d only ever seen on Oksana 8 years ago. She was pulled from her trance when she realized the blonde was walking past the hostess and toward a booth by the window. Eve quickly followed.

Villanelle sat, the professor sitting across from her. The booths were red with a marble table in front of them and their menus already by the window. This felt oddly… American. Anyway, without even saying a word, the blonde picked up a menu, quickly scanning the bright colors and words, fully knowing what she’d order. Eve looked at the menu but when she found ‘cheeseburger and fries’, her mind stopped reading the words. She was much more focused on what she was going to say. How would she start a conversation with the woman across from her? A woman who was now looking out the window, the bright sun spread across her face, emphasizing her annoyingly perfect skin and eyes. 

It was funny, though. The blonde was thinking the same thing. Not about her skin or eyes, but about Eve. About what she was going to say. She didn’t know. She thought by taking her to her favourite restaurant (diner?) she’d be more at ease. She’d come to this place after long runs, getting her carb load in. She’d sit in this exact seat. Alone. She didn’t bring people here. She wanted it for herself. Yet here she was, across from Eve. Who had asked her to lunch. It was funny. Kinda.

“So,” Eve started but realized she didn’t know what she was going to say until Villanelle turned to her, hazel meeting brown, “You come here often?” Oh for god’s sake, Eve. 

Villanelle smiled. She had no idea if that was a joke, flirting, or awkwardness. Probably, the latter, knowing Eve. Then again, did she actually know Eve? I guess that’s why she’s here. 

“Yes. I come here after long runs. Everything on the menu here has double the carbs than they’re supposed to.” 

Eve found it funny how she said ‘carbs’. Not only how her accent curled around the ‘r’ but it felt… weird? Oksana never really cared about that stuff, and now it was why Villanelle chose restaurants. Yeah, definitely weird.

“Ah, I see,” The professor looked down, pretending to look back at the menu, “Do you like it? Your gym?”

“I love it. It is nice to have something, you know? You have your teaching, your lectures. I have my gym.” The blonde smiled, she really did like what she did. She never talked about it but it felt nice to. Eve felt her genuineness from across the table. 

Just before Eve was about to respond, the hostess showed up again. She was a waitress too?

“Hi, Villanelle. How are ya?” The red-headed waitress/hostess(?) smiled at the blonde. She was older. She could see the woman actually cared about her customers. Eve really needed to stop psychoanalyze strangers.

“I’m doing well, Daria. How’s business?” Villanelle rested her elbows on the table.

“Eh, you know.” The woman shrugged, then turned to Eve. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Eve. She teaches at Imperial.” 

“Hi.” The professor awkwardly waved, cringing at herself internally. 

“Nice to meet you. What can I get started for you pretty ladies?” She looked back at the blonde.

“I will just have my usual,” Villanelle said as she set her menu back by the window, “Eve?” The professor froze for a moment when their eyes met. She looked so stunning, with ehlight hitting her eyes just at this angl- Daria looked back over at the professor, expectantly.

Eve cleared her throat. “I’ll have the same,” Eve stated, with an alarming level of confidence. She had no idea what Villanelle’s ‘usual’ could be, but what the hell, right?

Daria smirked as she wrote their orders down on her notepad. “I’ll be back in a jiffy then.”

Just as quickly Daria walked away, Eve’s newfound confidence left. Now that they were alone again, she had no idea what she could say. Well, there was one thing.

“What’s your usual?” Eve grinned as the two women’s eyes met again.

“That you will just have to wait and see, professor,” Villanelle smirked, her interest piqued as Eve had asked for her same order.

Eve looked down at her hands and nodded, smiling. She missed the playful nature between them. It was hard to find.

“Do you like what you do?” The blonde asked after a moment, Eve’s head snapping back up. Villanelle was leaning forward, her elbows still resting on the table, her hands clasped together in front of her. Eve couldn’t help but think she looked elegant. Wow, she really needed to stop thinking about how the blonde looked. It might take over her thoughts.

“Hmm?” The professor questioned, slightly taken aback by the question.

“You asked if I liked the gym. Do you like what you do?” 

“Oh yeah, yeah. I love it,” Eve couldn't help but feel the emotion behind the question. She’d been becoming a professor when Oksana left. “Teaching… it’s great. And I love what I teach, so yeah. It’s good.”

Villanelle nodded. “Criminology.” 

Eve stared at her for a moment. There was something in her face. Did she not approve? 

The thing is, Villanelle heavily approved. She just couldn’t help but think of the lecture she sat in. It was hard to listen to, for sure. Something so prevalent and heartbreaking in her childhood being discussed in a criminology class. By Eve, nonetheless. She had memorized almost every word.

“Villanelle,” The professor started, finally figuring out sentences to say in her head, “I want to apologize again. About the lecture.” At that, she could see the blonde’s entire body language change. She sat back, taking her arms and putting them at her sides, fiddling with her dress. Sure, the lecture was a little while ago, but Eve still felt like she needed to apologize. Again.

“I know you don’t like to talk about it but I know that it was definitely hard to hear,” Eve stared down at her own hands, as she mimicked Villanelle’s previous position, leaning forward with her hands clasped on the table, “I just wanted to apologize. If I would’ve known….” She trailed off. What would she have done if she would’ve known the blonde would be sitting in on her lecture?

“You don’t have to apologize, Eve. I understand that… that is what you teach. It’s fine.” Villanelle looks up, doing her best to put on the mask she can put up so easily with other people. Not so easy with Eve, apparently. 

“Yeah, I just mean that… I’m sorry you had to listen to all of it.” 

Villanelle sighed and looked down again. “What my father did or said when I was a child should not affect how you teach your class. After all, it’s a good thing I did sit in. It was probably most helpful to me, or to people like me.” The blonde couldn’t help but feel sad at the statement. She never spent enough time thinking about her child to feel sad, she never felt sad. That was the problem. 

“Hey,” Eve reached out her hand on the table, placing in the blonde’s eyesight, Villanelle instantly looking up at the professor, “I told you then, I’ll tell you now. Nothing is wrong with you, okay?” It was the first time she’d mentioned the past so explicitly to the blonde. She directly referenced a conversation they had 8 years ago. But she realized she had no idea how Villanelle would react to that. To this entire conversation. But, all the blonde could feel was sitting in that dumb café talking to Eve about her childhood, regretting it immediately until the professor had said... 

“You know there’s nothing wrong with you, right?” Eve said after a moment, finally meeting with hazel eyes, “You are perfect, just the way you are.”

“Thank you, Eve.” The professor relaxed internally as she saw Villanelle start to smile and… blush? Was Villanelle blushing? Maybe they were getting somewhere, after all.

As if someone had popped their bubble, Daria returned with two huge plates of food. By huge, I don’t mean slightly larger than an average plate. These plates were so large, they basically covered the entire table as the red-head set them down. Eve’s eyebrows raised as she examined the contents of the plate. An… English Breakfast? A lot of surprises today. 

Daria turned for a second and came back and set two glasses of what Eve assumed to be a strawberry milkshake in front of them. Another surprise. 

“Enjoy, ladies.” She said quickly, and then she was gone as fast as she appeared. 

“This is your usual?” Eve could help but chuckle as she started eating the sausage.

“Mmhmm.” Villanelle hummed simply as she started sipping her shake.

“And you eat it all?” 

Villanelle nodded, “Have you heard of glycogen replenishment, Eve?” The blonde started digging at her eggs.

Eve shook her head. She could feel a lesson coming along.

“Well,” Villanelle cleared her throat and looked at the professor, “When you do heavy aerobic exercise, the glycogen -the sugar- stored in your muscles gets depleted. That is why you become so tired after exercise. So you need high-glycemic foods to replenish your muscles.” She waved a piece of white bread in the air and bit into it as Eve was still trying to remember what ‘aerobic’ meant from high school bio class.

“Ah,” The brunette simply said, “Makes sense.” 

How much stalling would there be until they actually talked?

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Just listening to the sounds coming from outside and the few other patrons in the diner. Eve was already full. She’d barely cleared a third of the plate. Villanelle never stopped. She was putting sausage on bread and adding beans on top. Eve was kind of amazed. But she also needed to do what she came here for.

“Villanelle,” She stated, waiting for the blonde to look at her, which she eventually did, “I came here to talk to you.” 

“Okay… so talk to me.” She smirked, filling her mouth with the bread-sausage-bean combo.

“I… I want to say I’m sorry.” 

“You are doing a lot of apologizing lately, Eve.” 

The professor had to stifle an eye-roll. There were more important things.

“I want to say I’m sorry that I didn’t know how I felt about you 8 years ago.” She saw the blonde stop chewing for a few seconds, furrowed her brow, and continued eating. She could tell she was a little surprised. Villanelle was a little bit, at least. She knew it would come up eventually. She hoped after her meal.

“I also want to explain myself a little bit,” Eve continued, “I was very confused. Obviously. I had a husband and I was so much older and you were really young and just figuring things out. So, I was a little- I was very confused when you came into my life but I… really enjoyed spending time with you. You were… a big part of my life.”

Villanelle froze. These words were… it felt very surreal. Like a dream, she’d had once. Or maybe a nightmare? She couldn’t tell yet. She didn’t know what Eve was trying to say, either. Was she saying that she wanted to go back in time? Or that she wanted to forget everything that had happened? Or just forget her completely? Villanelle had honestly no idea which way it would go. Eve was always hard to read. She used to be good at reading her, though.

“Do you have anything to say… in response to that?” The professor asked, feeling very vulnerable.

“I did not expect that,” The blonde replied honestly as she tried to form a response, “I know now how hard a situation you were in. I was selfish. I still am, but I guess I do understand better.”

Eve nodded. They were silent for a minute. Or was it two? Three?

“I am sorry too.” Villanelle simply stated, shocking even herself.

“I hurt you… by leaving,” The blonde continued, nodding to reassure herself, “And not telling you where I went and just forgetting you existed.”

“You had to do what you had to do. I wish we could’ve talked about it, but I understand that leaving might’ve been the … most appealing option at the time.” Villanelle nodded in response, both of them looking at their plates, still filled with food.

“Konstantin said something to me the other day,” The blonde began, Eve looking up at her, vaguely remembering Konstantin’s name, a person Oksana truly trusted, “That I should treat you like a new person because I’m a new person.” The professor smiled, silently thanking Konstantin.

“That’s a good idea, I think. I have a feeling we are both very different people than we were 8 years ago.” She gestures vaguely to the pink dress Villanelle was wearing, it took up the entire booth around her.

“You said you liked my dress?” The blonde looked hurt.

“No, I do. I do. It’s just… not something Oksana would’ve worn, I guess.” She cursed herself for saying Villanelle’s old name. She can imagine- well, she knew the blonde didn’t like it. But, luckily, the younger woman didn’t have a reaction to it.

“I guess,” Villanelle shrugged, smirking, “Old Eve wouldn’t have gone to a gym.” She noted, making the brunette howl with laughter. She loved the sound.

“You’re totally right. I don’t even know if New Eve wants to go to a gym but…  I do have a membership to one now.” Their eyes finally met, both of them smiling.

It had begun to rain while they were in the small diner… neither of them even noticed as drops of water hit the window. Both of them were staring at each other. And while it was dreadful outside, there seemed to be a light of hope inside Daria’s diner that afternoon.