I Love Him
FLASHBACK
"Mama what's happening?"
Alastors brows furrowed as his mom dragged him down the hall by his smaller hand.
She quickly wipes the tears that escape her eyes before he has a chance to see them.
Stopping outside of the pantry Alastors mother kneels down to his level and she cups his cheeks. The worried look on her features drives fear into his heart.
"Mommy is gonna let you spend allll day watching the radio show! Doesn't that sound like fun?",she tries to keep her shaky voice enthusiastic for her baby boy but she finds it difficult.
Alastor frowns and grabs his mamas hands, his bottom lip begins to quiver as he looks into her chocolate brown eyes.
"Is daddy mad again?",Alastors voice comes out cracked and scared as his hands squeeze his mothers. She sighs gently as she looks at the fresh scar peaking from his unbuttoned dress shirt.
"Y-Yes baby, but mama isn't going to let him hurt you again okay? I promise I'll keep you safe.",she attempts to reassure the young Alastor but he only shakes his head rapidly. Tears begin to pool in his eyes and he hugs his mother tightly.
"No! He'll hurt YOU then!"
Alastors mother hugs him tightly and more hot tears escape her eyes as she hears his worried and sadden voice. Nothing crushed her more than him being anything but happy.
Alastor begins to sob into his mothers shoulder and she bites her lip hard before pulling him away and putting on a weak smile.
"I'll be okay baby...just don't come out until I call you? Okay dear?",she runs her hand through his messy brown hair and his bottom lip quivers.
He looks to her warm yet guilty and sad eyes. They both jump when the front door slams.
"Ophelia where the fuck are ya!"
Alastors mother flinches and she's quick to shove Alastor into the small room.
"I love you, Alastor."
"I l-love you too, mama."
She shuts the door and Alastor switches the radio on. Before the soft jazz music can start up he covers his ears upon hearing the cries and pleads of his mother.
Reaching into the pocket of his slacks he pulls out the soft pink ribbon and holds it close to his beating heart. Hot tears roll down his cheeks as he's left helpless to the sounds of his father hurting his mama.
END OF FLASHBACK
«»
Alastor sat on his bed with a soft sigh. He thought of the mess he had to take care of today. He thought of the mess he had to take care of down in his basement.
But as he twirled the worn pink ribbon between his fingers he couldn't help but smile at the thought of you.
He was beaming with happiness that you had accepted his date offer. To be quite honest he wouldn't know what he'd do if you had said no.
But you said yes so there was no concern to that.
He was also glad you left at his command. The sight and rage he unloaded onto his poor workers was not something he wanted you to see. He hoped you would never see that side of him.
Alastor still couldn't believe how much he had fallen for you in such a short time. But then again love doesn't really have a set time. But you two met once before. So many years ago when you gave him this pink ribbon.
Lifting it up he looked at it and sighed gently.
Bad memories were connected to this.
Really bad memories.
His hand ran across the scars over his chest and torso.
"You want to be a big fucking hero! I'll show you what that kinda bullshit gets you!"
"I-I'm sorry please!"
He felt the ghost of the kitchen knife cut into his skin. Chills ran up his spine and he exhaled shakily while falling back and looking up at the ceiling.
His soft voice rang through the room,"It seems I've found someone who makes me want to be good, mother." Tears began to sting his eyes as he spoke to his mother for the first time since her funeral. The ribbon glided between his fingers in a comforting way.
"I can go as far as saying I'm in love with her."
Alastor spoke this aloud but he knew a small fragment of that love was obsession. Unhealthy obsession.
But he figured as long as you remained his and no one tried something that obsession wouldn't manifest into something darker.
"I think she might feel the same. Despite all my baggage...",Alastor chuckles softly at saying this. Baggage didn't even begin to cover him,"I do feel bad for lying to her though. But it seems twelve was a good number. Heavens knows she would have ran and never came back had I given her the truth."
Alastor felt it find to deduct eighty-five down to twelve. It wouldn't matter considering he had no reason to murder anymore.
That insatiable drive for satisfaction deep within him wasn't quelled by murder anymore. The bloodlust within him was no longer present, for the most part.
He found satisfaction and contentment with you. With your smile, your laugh, your kiss, your hug...with your entire being.
"I think its time to let go of the past, mother.",he sighs softly as tears fall down his temples and into his brown hair. "I'm not even sure if you're listening. If there even is a heaven for you to be in. And if there is, God knows I'm not going there." He laughs gently and sniffles while clutching the pink ribbon in his hand.
"Maybe you'll meet, (Y/N) someday...if I can't see you ever again...maybe she can."
«»
Walking into the apartment it was already sun down. Looking around the living room you noticed Anthony cuddled up on the couch, the small dog you hadn't learned the name of was cuddled up with him.
Anthony wore a gentle smile on his slumbering features.
You smiled weakly and grabbed a thin blanket from the recliner and tossed it over the two buddies. Looking to the dog the thought of Cheryl hit your mind again and you quickly headed for your room.
Locking the door behind you you walked to your vanity and sat down. As soon as you did you covered your mouth to stifle the sobs that you didn't want Anthony to hear.
Everything was finally at peace...I was finally at peace.
You thought about the entire ordeal and pushed your hair back as you sniffled and looked into the mirror. You knew what you had to do. It wasn't even up for debate.
You'd do anything to keep the people you love safe.
Alastor was dangerous, yes, but he couldn't possibly defeat or hold his own against the three of them.
Anthony didn't have a single chance against his mob family and Valentinos claws.
You sobbed silently again as your head rested on the table. You couldn't stand the thought of leaving them. You loved them.
Them.
Looking up quickly you realized what you had thought and swallowed hard. Looking into your reflection you could feel his arms around you. You could smell his alluring scent. And you could see that genuine smile he seemed to always have on around you.
I'm in love with Alastor?
Your mouth was agape and your hand covered your eyes upon remembering the date set for tomorrow night.
I'm in LOVE with Alastor.
You internally cursed and stood up quickly. You began to pace the room as your breathing grew more shallow and quick. You held your face in your hands as your heels clicked against the floor, your wrists and ankles slightly red and sore from the ropes.
You kicked off your heels and sat down in bed with a shaky exhale. You attempted to steady your breathing yet you jumped at the sound of Anthonys voice.
"(Y/N)! Ya home?"
Not wanting him to see you in this state you quickly ducked beneath the covers and calmed your breathing. Letting your tense body relax into the bed.
You shut your eyes wiping away a few tears and stopped yourself short upon hearing a soft knock at your door.
"Hey toots, you here?"
Then a soft click resonated through the cold room. Anthonys footsteps hit your ears and you felt a dip in the bed as he sat down. Your heart began to race.
"I can't even imagine how tired you are.",he chuckled softly as he spoke in a soft whisper. His eyes looked to your "sleeping" figure beneath the warm blanket.
"I'm glad you're finally getting some rest. You need it ya know? What with you being the crutch that holds up so many people...me especially.",Anthonys voice saddened slightly,"You really were an angel sent into my fucked up life, (Y/N). You are the light of my shit-hole world. I don't know how you do it."
Anthonys voice began to shake and waver as he continued speaking his thoughts. Unfearful considering you were "asleep".
"You saved my life...multiple times but...inviting me here truly saved me. I had no idea how I was going to live without you...without the only light in my life."
You felt your heart grow heavy as he talked softly.
No...please don't tell me...
"I was gonna k-kill myself the day after you left."
You shoved down the whimper that threatened to leave your lips.
"Kinda weak I know but ever since I met you, you were the one thing that never hurt me. The one person who never hurt me, you're like my sister. And...finding out my sister was going to leave me again it was just—just too much.",Anthonys voice grows tight as he continues,"But you brought me here with you, and although its been a shitshow and we've both been through some shit I don't feel scared or that helpless feeling anymore. Because I have you. With you I can take any beating, cheat, or insult that comes my way. Because I know one person sees the good in me and brings the good out of me."
Anthony leans down and presses a kiss against your shoulder.
"I love you, (Y/N). I hope you know this forever and always."
The bed rises as he walks away and out of the room. His footsteps fade away and you clutch your sides as you silently sob. Your shoulders shake furiously and your heart breaks and cracks more.
"Please...",your voice cracks in a soft whisper as hot tears continue to stream down your face. You plead out to whoevers listening. To any entity in the sky or in spirit. You shake your head lightly as you think about the two days you have left until your entire life is taken from you. Until you're a caged canary.
"Protect him when I leave..."