Regrets?
Alastor stirred in his sleep. With a soft groan he stretched and let his eyes flutter open. Turning in bed he realizes you are no longer in his arms.
He quickly sits up and glances around the room only for his eyes to land on a yellow piece of paper beneath his cheaters.
Picking up the paper his eyes roam over the neat cursive letters. You really did have impeccable penmanship.
Alastor,
I'm sorry to have left so early and without saying anything but you were sleeping so soundly. I had to leave early because I didn't want to worry Anthony too much if I wasn't there when he got home. I‘ll see you at work.
♡︎ (Y/N)
Alastor internally cursed at that damn daisy. Of course he would take you away yet again. But the irritation and annoyance subsided when he saw the small heart by your name. Warmth filled him and he cracked a smile, running a hand through his messy hair.
For once in his life he felt content.
Satisfied.
But that wouldn't last very long.
«»
You took your heels off before opening the door to the apartment very slowly. Stepping inside you slowly shut the door behind you, wincing at the creaking noise it made.
"Someone had a fun night."
You let out a loud scream and whip around. Placing your hand over your rapid heart you swallow hard. Anthony sits on the recliner dressed down in a simple pair of shorts. Then your eyes fall to the small fluffball on his lap.
As your eyes meet the dogs Anthonys meet the hickeys peaking out from atop your dress.
"What is that!"
You both exclaim in unison and you both laugh softly afterwards. Walking towards Anthony you sit on the recliner aside him, bringing your knees up to your chest. The tiny dog yips and wags his tale.
With a soft sigh you bite the inside of your cheek. Your eyes look up to Anthonys tired ones. Your hand pats the small dog and a bit of guilt hits you.
For a moment you and Anthony sat in silence, looking to each other. Anthonys eyes fell to the small dog and he shook his head gently.
"I'm tired of keeping secrets."
You lower your brows and purse your lips, nodding in agreement. "Me too."
Anthony sighs and places the small pup down on the floor, the tiny ball trots away and disappears down the hall. As Anthony watches the dog trot away he feels guilt eat at his insides.
Pulling you close he sniffles against the crook of your neck. "I did something I regret."
You began to think of Alastor and the night you spent together. The overthinking and doubt crawled back into your mind and you frowned as his arms tightened around you.
Letting your arms tighten around him you clench your eyes shut and nod slowly,"I think I might've too."
«»
You both had taken a shower and gotten into comfortable clothes after your embrace. You two agreed that today was a day to lay out all the cards. You loved him and he loved you and secrets from each other were beginning to eat at both of you.
Fiddling with the sleeve of Anthonys large pink jacket you crossed your legs on the chair. He sat with his legs crossed and body facing yours. His damp hair still had droplets clinging to it and yours was up.
"Rosie gave me a job.",Anthony was the first to cut through the silence,"As her own personal hit man. She gave me a job, I did it last night."
Your brows threaded together upon hearing this and you reached out to grab Anthonys hand. Interlacing your fingers he sighed shakily.
Anthony was a hit man for his family. The best shot in the family and stealthy its not a wonder why. And although Anthony could easily pull the trigger that didn't stop the trauma that came with killing a person. He'd been the familys hit man since he was ten.
Running away from home he wanted to leave that. Yet here he was, years later, doing the same bullshit.
You knew how much this must be hurting him.
"I reported to her this morning and she's going to pay me a fuck ton of money. But...the woman I killed—",Anthony swallowed hard and his hand began to shake in yours. You could see he was hesitant about telling you. His gaze fell from yours and you gently made him face you again.
"It's okay...I'm here for you Tony, through thick and thin like we promised remember?",you smiled gently at him and he cracked a weak smile with a short nod. Looking into your warm and understanding eyes he decided it best to blurt it out.
"She said she knew you. Her name was Cheryl Boomer. The dog was hers."
Anthony remembered the last thing she said before he pulled the trigger.
"Just take care of him please?"
Your heart dropped and you blinked back at hearing her name. The freckled face of the spunky redhead smiling wavered across your vision and yet you nodded slowly. Reaching up you cupped Anthonys cheek with your other hand. The pad of your thumb gently wiped away the tears that had escaped.
"It's okay. You did what you had to do.",you were honest with him. With the way Rosie was you knew it wasn't just the money that was initiative to him. She must've threatened him. And her threats weren't empty.
Anthony looked at you with hidden disbelief. You really were all he had in this fucked up world. Since the day he met you you constantly assured he was okay. Hell, when your dad passed you still made sure he was okay and fed and slept.
You were the only good thing in this world.
He knew he didn't deserve you. He knew was probably holding you back from a happy and fulfilling life.
Yet he selfishly kept you enwrapped in his mess of a life.
Anthony nodded slowly and a small grin spread across his lips,"Now you wanna tell me who attacked your neck?"
With a nervous laugh your hand instinctively went up to wrap around your neck,"This is going to take a while to explain."
So you began to spill all you had hidden from Anthony. From dating Vox to Alastor being the one who saved you. To the deal Alastor made with you to having sex with Husk to the encounter you had at Rosies last night. Anthony was in shock and disbelief at the entirety of your spillage.
"So I left a note and headed back home and here we are...",you felt a blush on your face and your hands bunched in the pockets of the hoodie. You looked down and away from Anthony during the entire telling. It was a lot to unload and quite frankly you were especially fearful of his reaction to everything pertaining Alastor.
"Was he big?",he gasps loudly,”Who was bigger him or Husk?”
Your head shoots up and a harsher blush falls across your face as you roughly smack Anthonys shoulder, he laughs loudly and grabs ahold of his stinging shoulder.
"Thats the first thing you ask!",you shout in disbelief and slight relief while your hands fly up to cover your red and hot cheeks. He continues to laugh and he nods with a shrug.
"He may be an arrogant jackass who's apparently a murderer but even I can admit he has to be packing.",Anthony laughs yet again and you cover your entire face with an embarrassed squeal. After a few moments of squirming in embarrassment you sigh loudly and peak through your fingers. “Also Husk is a smoke show, I’d let him rail me to next week.”
You stare at each other in silence for a few moments, Anthonys eyes are expectant and glittery.
"They’re both equally as big.",you mumble softly and Anthony roars with laughter and shakes you with excitement. You laugh along with him until it dies down and your hands fall from your face.
"How are you so cool about learning all of this?",you inquire with a bit of concern that he was hiding his true feelings from you. He sighed gently and ran a hand through his messy hair.
"Well for starters I kind of new about you and Vox.",you look at him with a confused expression and he rubs the nape of his neck sheepishly,"Val likes to gossip after fuckin'."
You roll your eyes at the thought of that wretched man. You should've slapped him while you were at it. Anthony continues on,"As for Val and Velvet and Vox being here there's no way they're gonna find this place. So I'm not worried about those goons." He reached up and pinched your cheeks while cooing,"Im so proud of you for smacking that dickhead."
You giggle softly and swat away his hands, rubbing your round cheeks. It did feel amazing to smack Vox after that comment and all the heartache he put you through. With that liberated feeling you ignored the guilt that ate at your stomach for hitting him.
"As for Alastor.",Anthony sighs in a bit of exasperation. His brows are lowered in conflict, his tongue prodding at the inside of his cheek,"He saved your life. I couldn't care less about how he did it to be honest. But that deal doesn't sit right with me." Anthonys eyes widen and he grabs ahold of your wrists. Anger fills his eyes,"Did he fucking force you to fuck him?"
You shake your head rapidly and attempt to wave your hands in front of you,"Oh no! Oh no no! It was completely consensual...to be honest he hasn't really implemented the deal. If anything its just small orders that I'd otherwise say no to. He hasn't made me do anything bad. Just sometimes makes me do tedious crap."
Anthony breathes out a huge breath of relief yet his eyes catch the strange emotions swirling in yours. His brows thread together harder and he reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ear,"Do you regret it, sugar?"
Do I regret it?...
You chew on your bottom lip in thought. For a few minutes you ponder over this heavy weighted question,"I don't think so but...he-he had this look in his eyes and the way he kissed me. I could've sworn it was...love?" Anthonys eyes widened and he blinked back with a clearing of his throat. He grabs ahold of your hands,"What the fuck." Letting his large hands envelop your small ones you groan softly.
Anthony was both surprised and not surprised. He was surprised due to the fact that someone like Alastor was capable of feeling something beyond sadism. And he wasn't surprised because he saw the way Alastor looked at you. And the way he looked at others who looked at you the same way.
That was a man who was whipped.
He couldn't blame him. If he was straight he would've fallen in love with you too.
What you say next makes Anthony still.
"And I don't think I would mind the idea of him...looking at me like that.",you confessed with a soft and slightly hesitant tone. Anthony looked at you with a look of concern,"Are you in...?", Anthony trails off and you shake your head.
"N-No?",your word comes out as more of a question than anything,"I feel something beyond physical for him but to call it l-love is a bit much." You groan in frustration as your hands leave Anthonys to drag down your tired face.
"I just! He's a good person I know that but how can I excuse the murdering? Twelve people, Anthony!",you pull your knees up to your chest with a soft pout. Anthony seems to ponder for a moment.
He hated Alastor. Truth be told he thought about curb stomping him with every interaction. Alastor wasn’t worthy of the dirt beneath your heels. But as you sat in front of him confused and conflicted about your feelings he thought you deserved to have a break.
After everything that happened with Vox maybe you deserved a new potential suitor.
Plus if you were getting closer to Alastor he could try his luck on the hot piece of ass that was Husk. It was a win-win situation.
“Okay, I know you think murdering is bad and whatnot but what if he had good reason?”,Anthony continues when you look to him in question,”He killed those two goons because they would have raped you. Maybe worse...what if he has a reason for the other ten murders?”
You hadn’t really thought about that.
Maybe he killed those other people because he had to? Maybe one or two was self-defense...
You being you you decided to offer him the benefit of the doubt, for now.
A harsh blush swept across your cheeks as you remembered something,”Oh dear I have to see him in...”,you look across the room to the clock,”Two hours! Oh my god he’s picking me up!” You began to grow uneasy at the thought of seeing him so soon after such a steamy night together. Pile on your conflicting feelings you grew nauseous. You pushed your red cheeks together in despair and worry.
Anthony laughed softly at your frazzled state and he gently pulled your hands from your cheeks,”(Y/N)...you figured out you have a crush on Alastor and you had sex with him. It’s not like you popped the question to him last night. You’ll be fine.”
With slow deep breaths your panic began to die down, with a soft and warm smile you pulled Anthony in close for a tight hug.
“Thanks, Tony. I love you.”,you mumbled into the crook of his neck. He melted in your embrace and smiled contently,”I love you too, (Y/N).”
As you sat there and hugged your best friend after laying all the cards out on the table you exhaled deeply. You felt warmth in your heart and hope in your mind. Things had been such a shitshow till now.
Maybe things were finally calming down. So you had a crush on Alastor, maybe he felt the same. You made it clear to Vox you never wanted to see him and none of the trio had any clue of your whereabouts.
You finally felt like you could relax.
«»
Velvet watched as Alastor pulled up and parked outside of the nice apartment complex. Her eyes narrowed slightly as you came through the doors with a soft smile and waved to that bastard.
Her eyes fell to Alastors expression and her eyes widened at the way he looked at you.
He looked at you with such adoration and...love.
Velvet was in disbelief when she noticed you nearly looked at him the same.
Do you know he’s a murderer?
You must know what happened to Vox’s eye was all his fault.
Why was he picking you up?
How close have you two become?
Velvet felt her blood boil at the audacity you had. You left Vox heartbroken just a short while ago, then you broke it again last night. Now you had the audacity to be all smiles with that douchebag?
Velvet couldn’t very well kill you. Velvet couldn’t even begin to imagine what Vox would do if you died. No...she needed to get you to take back Vox.
She frowned remembering how inconsolable Vox was once they had left Rosies. Velvet loved Vox as if he were a brother. Aside from Val, he was the only person she could trust. He was the only person she truly loved in her bloodlust filled heart.
She’d do whatever it took to assure Vox and Valentino were happy.
She needed to have you go back to Vox. But how?
It was easy getting your address by bribing the small childlike woman at Rosies for the very small portfolio the wretched classy woman gathered on you. Aside from your address it was damn near useless.
Thats when her eyes fell to a tall and toned figure emerging from the apartment complex with a purse in hand. He called out your name and smiled brightly at you. His smudgy eyes glared at Alastor. She covered her mouth with wide eyes.
Anthony!
A grin spread across her lips and she bounced with excitement. She watched as Anthony handed you the purse and pulled you in for a tight hug. Her eyes fell to your lips and she squinted slightly.
::“Remember stay inside, we don’t know whereVal is staying. I’ll be back later.”
“Yeah yeah, have a good day at work, love ya.”::
Velvets eyes fell from your lips and she stifled a loud laugh as she let her back press against the brick wall of the alley. Her eyes went to your oblivious ones. You looked at Anthony with concern and love.
No way...
Velvet laughed softly and once the pavements were empty she skipped out of the alley and went on her way back to the hotel. She was quick, not wanting Vox and Val to discover she had left.
The gears began to churn in Velvets psychotic mind as her heels clicked against the pavement. She couldn’t touch a hair on your head, you had to be with Vox.
And quite frankly Vox would probably kill her.
But this didn’t mean she wouldn’t do everything in her power to make you hurt like you hurt Vox. She was going to crush your happy and lovey world beneath her boot until you were back in Vox’s arms.
And she was planning on enjoying every second of it.