Chapter 8
12 hours.
That’s how long it’d been since she finally confessed her feelings to Dawn. In a not-so-calm way.
Donna lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Since Dick finally let her out of the medbay, she had gone to her room and stayed there the whole time.
She stayed there past dinner, too stubborn and depressed to leave her room... and probably would’ve been stubborn, depressed AND hungry if Dick hadn’t brought her dinner-- roast quail with fennel panzanella.
Fennel what, even?
Dick was an incredible cook, all thanks to Alfred and many hours in the kitchen, both in the tower and back at Wayne Manor.
It probably would’ve tasted great, too… if she wasn’t too distraught to taste anything, that is. She’d finished her meal quickly, and about three seconds later, Dick was knocking at her door, asking if he could take her dishes back. Almost as though he was listening to her chewing with his ear to the door.
Donna tried to get out of bed, just to move around her room and not feel that sore after lying in the medbay for all that time. She really tried.
But she couldn’t be bothered to. Every bit of her body felt like it was being weighed down by bricks, so she eventually gave up on the idea, and tried to get an early sleep.
Then, there was a knock at the door again.
Maybe Dick was back with dessert? He knew how to make a great tiramisu…
Another knock.
“Okay, okay,” Donna mumbled as she pushed herself off the mattress. “I’m coming…”
She opened the door, expecting to see Dick, but instead found herself looking up to meet the dark eyes of a tall, slender woman with jet-black hair, wearing a leather jacket, shirt and jeans, which would’ve given her the impression of just another regular civilian, if not for the two gleaming bracelets which could still be seen slightly under the sleeves on her forearms.
Diana of Themyscira.
Her foster mother and mentor.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out why she was here, nor was it much of a mystery who had called her.
Well, that’s just fucking great.
Donna forced a smile across her face.
“So… you’re not tiramisu.”
Dawn sat on the sofa, lost in thought.
“Because it’s you!”
Donna’s words echoed in her head over and over again. Even hours later, she was still shell-shocked at her friend’s emotional outburst of a confession.
What could she have said in response?
No idea.
Fuck, how could I be so stupid?
Everything made so much sense now-- the pills, the drinking, why Donna had been so vague about who she loved whenever Dawn asked her about it… of course she had to be vague about it.
How could Donna ever have told her the truth? When she hadn’t exactly been subtle about her relationship with Hank?
And then a wave of guilt hit her as she thought back to that look of Donna’s face when she had seen her and Hank making out, realising that it wasn’t a look of shock as much as it was one of heartbreak.
Dawn thought further back, all the way back to the moment the two of them first met.
Even from their first touch, as their hands shook, Dawn couldn’t help but feel drawn to her, as if her soul was calling out to her own. And she couldn’t figure out why.
Maybe it was how she could be so tough and yet so gentle at the same time.
Or maybe it was how beautiful she was-- something she hadn’t even realized until Donna was lying on that bed in the medbay, unconscious. Again, how did that never occur to her? Donna’s face, her body… all so perfect.
If someone told her that Donna’s appearance was painstakingly constructed by angels, she just might believe them.
A beautiful woman with a beautiful soul.
Her heart started to warm at the thought.
For the longest time, Dawn had been with Hank not entirely out of love, but out of a sense of responsibility and duty. The two of them had lost a loved one in a same accident-- and that started a chain of events that brought them together. She always perceived that as a sign of soulmates, that they were meant to fall in love.
But as time went by, those feelings waned. And the more Dawn thought about it, the more she came to realize that she wasn’t really in love with Hank… and that maybe it wasn’t meant to be after all.
Whereas, that feeling she got whenever she looked at Donna, that warm feeling, it had never come from the trauma of tragedy or a sense of moral duty to someone-- it had come from her and her alone.
Maybe that was what soulmates truly were-- not to love bound by trauma or what someone was, but rather to love someone for who they are with everything they are now.
Still, she had kept her true feelings to herself-- Donna was in love with someone else anyway, wasn’t she?
Except… that someone else was her all along.
Dawn took a few more moments to weigh the decision that had been lingering in her head for the past few hours.
And she made it.
Taking a slow walk to the room she and Hank had been sharing, she found him sitting on the bed, checking his phone. She gently tapped the door twice to get his attention, before she spoke.
“We need to talk.”
Diana slowly entered Donna’s room. “We need to talk.”
There was no sternness in her tone-- just something gentle yet firm.
Donna dropped back onto the bed and crashed back onto her pillow, too emotionally exhausted to sit up, but moved her legs to one side of the mattress, allowing her mentor to sit down.
“So, I hear you’ve been having problems with love?”
Letting out a dry laugh, Donna turned away from Diana. Problems wasn’t exactly the word she was thinking of.
The taller woman rested a hand on her arm, prompting her to sit up. She then slid herself closer to Diana, resting her head on her shoulder and taking a deep, shuddering breath before asking a question.
“How do you stop it?”
"Stop it?"
"I need to," Donna whispered as she felt a sob build up in her throat. "I can't handle this anymore. I gotta make it stop."
"And how exactly do you plan to do that?"
"I'll just… stop feeling it. I’ll just stop... loving her."
Diana gave a soft chuckle.
“I’m afraid that’s easier said than done, Donna. Love isn’t something you can just turn off like a switch.”
Closing her eyes, Donna felt the tears start to leak out again. Of course it wasn’t.
“After I lost Steve, I told myself I’d never love again. But that turned out to be untrue-- I never stopped loving Steve, and I found love once more.”
Donna slowly lifted her head, and gazed at Diana questioningly.
“We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with, Donna. Love just happens. And with love, there’s bound to be heartbreak and sadness.
“But that doesn’t mean we can drown it in alcohol or drugs or any kind of external distraction… we need to face it ourselves, to truly respect ourselves and tend to our hearts.
“And I promise you this-- whether it’s Dawn, or someone else you’ll meet down the road, love will always find you in the end. So hang in there-- every day is worth it. Love is always worth it.”
There was a moment of silence.
"This girl… Do you really love her?"
A heavy sigh left Donna’s lips. She took a moment to picture Dawn in her mind, with her beautiful face, her warm smile and her silky, vanilla-smelling hair.
“Yeah. She’s perfect.”
“Then hold onto that love, Donna. Don’t fight it, or try to drown it. Love makes us stronger.”
Those last words tugged at Donna’s heart. She slowly lifted her head off Diana’s shoulder and gave her a tired smile. “Thanks.”
“Don’t worry about it. You can always talk to me if you have a problem.”
She nodded her head. “Guess I should thank Dick too, since he’s the one who called you. Didn’t realize he had your number, actually.”
Diana paused for a moment. “Oh, he doesn’t. He just called Bruce, and I was--”
Silence.
That pause caught Donna’s attention. She straightened up, and gave her mentor a questioning look.
“...and then Bruce called you up, right?”
“Ah, the thing is, I was, well... in close proximity to him when he got the call. So he didn’t really need to call me, you see, especially since I overheard the call--”
Donna gave a surprised laugh, and stared at Diana in amazement. Fighting back a smile, she asked: “When you said you were in close proximity to Bruce… how close were you, exactly…?”
A new expression came over Diana’s face. Something Donna had never seen before.
Oh… my god, she’s flustered.
“Well,” Diana said, clearing her throat and standing up, “I guess I should leave now. If you need me again, just call, okay?”
Smirking, Donna nodded her head. “Heading back to Wayne Manor, maybe?”
Diana gave an embarrassed smile, and left without another word.
Then, Dick came to the doorway, holding a dessert tray.
"You still hungry? I made tiramisu."