One Reason

One thing that no one seemed to think of for a good few days was how they were going to explain Michael’s sudden revival to the rest of the world. All his documents had been labelled as ‘deceased’ months ago, and his bank accounts had been closed. Luckily, it seemed like Moon Jeremy and Minnie’s combined power had sorted all of that out. 

Michael had all the papers and documents he’d need, even for starting a new school, all stored back at his moms’ new apartment. Which they were selling. As soon as the shock of Michael being alive again wore off, they had sold everything and bought another cheap property in the same lovely Connecticut town that Jeremy lived in. Apparently they were keen on keeping the boys together and their new old apartment hadn’t been big enough for Michael to move in. Regardless, Michael wasn’t going to complain. He was even excited for school, since he was finally getting to do his junior year along with Jeremy, who was still retaking the year.

Even if he was excited about all of that, living close to Jeremy again, he still struggled. Like he had said to Jeremy, just because good things happen doesn't mean that it makes everything better. He wasn't used to eating or worrying about his hygiene like he was a year ago. Sometimes he could handle it and other times he couldn't.

Today was one of the days that he couldn't. He woke up but just couldn't get up. He felt cramped, so he curled up like he did in the vial. It was still dark out, so he thought he was in Squip's pocket. Until there was light again, some stimulation, he needed to zone out or he'd lose it.

He wasn’t sure how long he lay there, caught in his own thoughts, before there was a knocking sound. That was weird, what was Squip doing? He never knocked. 

“Mikey? Are you in here, dude? Don’t tell me you’re still asleep. We planned on playing Apocalypse of the Damned today, remember?” That was Jeremy’s voice. What? Squip always gave Michael vision when he was dealing with Jeremy. 

The darkness suddenly pulled back and Michael was left staring up at Jeremy as he held up a blanket. “Mikey, are you okay?”

Wait, Jeremy was talking and looking at him. But he was in Squip's weird vial. How did he know he was here? "What?"

Jeremy sat down next to Michael, somehow not seeming quite so big anymore. “Hey, are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He paused. “Are you okay with touches right now? I wanna hold you.”

How could he do that? Jeremy was outside and he was stuck in this little glass prison. Could he even hear Michael if he spoke up? He hadn't heard Michael in the past. Or was this some sick joke Squip was playing on him? It wouldn't have been the first time.

Jeremy huffed and set aside the blanket he was hoofing. “I’m going to touch your arm, Michael,” Jeremy warned carefully before reaching over and doing just that.

Michael couldn't help but flinch when the contact was made. How was Jeremy touching him? What was going on? Wasn't he in that vial?

Once contact has been made, Jeremy slowly shifted. His hand went from barely brushing Michael’s hand with his fingertips to gently resting his hand against Michael’s arm. “It’s actually me, Michael. I’m here. I’m touching you.” Jeremy murmured. “You’re not back in that vial. You’re safe. You’re alive.”

Jeremy was touching him, but he had just been in the vial. How did Jeremy know he had been in there before though? Why was he saying that he was alive? He was a ghost. Michael tried to voice that, but he just whined when he tried to talk.

Jeremy slowly reached towards Michael with his other hand. "I'm going to run my fingers through your hair." He said, following through a moment later when Michael didn't stop him. "You're alive." He repeated. "You've been alive for three weeks now, and you're safe. Squip is gone, you haven't been in the vial for a long time. You're in your new home, in your own bed, and it's three o'clock in the afternoon. I was coming around so we could have a sleepover and so we could play some Apocalypse of the Damned together."

That... sounded familiar. But he hadn’t been in the vial before? Squip was gone? But he had just been in it, hadn’t he? And he could have only been in it if he had been dead. “But I was just in t’vial,” Michael managed to say.

"No, you weren't Mikey." Jeremy hummed, still continuing his gentle movements. "You were curled up under your blanket."

But it felt like he had been cramped in that damn glass prison. How did he not tell that it was a blanket around him and not the vial? Michael tried to ask that but he couldn’t get the words out, his throat too tight.

“You were disassociating.” Jeremy explained, somehow already knowing what Michael was trying to ask. “Your brain got confused and overwhelmed and you thought you were trapped because of the weighted blanket you were using.”

A weighted blanket? Had he gotten one of those recently? He didn’t have one before he died.

“Yeah, your moms got it to help you for when open spaces were feeling too big.” Jeremy explained patiently. Wait, had Michael said that out loud? “After so long cramped up, being in large spaces can freak you out. And yes, you are thinking out loud. Just like you always do when you’re stressed.”

Oh. Michael reached up and hesitated before he felt over his heart. It didn’t take long to feel his racing heartbeat. So he was alive. Somehow.

“A bit of magic, Mikey. And it left some marks, see?” Jeremy took Michael’s hand and showed him. It was covered in faint silvery stars. “And on me, see?” He pointed to a white patch in his hair and forehead.

That was definitely new. Michael felt the stars on his hand, and the skin didn’t even feel different. Well, it was somewhat smoother on his hand than anywhere else on his body, actually. Huh. “So... magic is real?”

“Yeah, apparently.” Jeremy nodded. “It’s a lot to process, but it’s real.”

 Michael couldn’t believe it for a second, but what else would explain the fact that he was somehow alive again? “Oh wow, okay.”

Jeremy just smiled at him and ran his thumb over the hand covered with stars. "I really love these. They suit you somehow. Make your skin bright and coppery almost."

“That sounds like super gay poetry. Like, you’d describe someone’s freckles as stars and then say what you just said,” Michael said, and he could totally imagine that, even though Jeremy was more of an artist than a writer.

"Well, I'm not gay, but I am totally bi for you." Jeremy giggled. "Maybe I should paint you covered in them. Watercolors would look great for that, actually..." He mused.

“Watercolors would show up on skin?”

"I meant paint a picture of you, Mikey." Jeremy clarified with another giggle. "But there are silver body paints if you wanted me to do that." His eyes got a bit of a funny look. "I wonder..." He touched his white patch and closed his eyes for a moment, seemingly deep in thought. When he opened them again, he smiled. "Yeah, that would look really beautiful on you. All over your cheeks and everything." He cupped Michael's cheek with one hand fondly.

Michael’s cheeks got warm (yeah, he was alive if he could feel himself radiating heat) and he leaned into Jeremy’s hand. “Did you see me in the world where I have stars?” Yeah, Jeremy’s white patch helped him see other universes. Right.

"I did." Jeremy nodded. "I was the same world where I am the Moon. It looks stunning on you..." He leaned down and rested his forehead against Michael's, careful to tilt his head so Michael didn't touch the white patch. "Though I think that's just a general Michael thing." He grinned.

The wording of that didn’t click in Michael’s brain. “The stars looking stunning on me?”

"You look stunning." Jeremy corrected. "You always look stunning."

Michael couldn’t help but snort at that. “Arguable.”

"Considering how many versions I've seen of you, I'd say I'd win that argument." Jeremy chuckled, pressing a kiss to Michael's nose before he realised what he'd done and he pulled back a little, still holding Michael sweetly but no longer resting their foreheads together. His cheeks were bright red and he looked away, flustered.

Michael couldn’t blame him. He was flustered from that. He had imagined Jeremy doing that many times, but he didn’t expect it to ever happen. Even though Jeremy complimented him (had he been flirting?), he wasn’t sure that Jeremy would ever want to kiss him in any capacity. But he just did. 

“That was nice,” was all Michael could say after that. Great job there, Mell.

Jeremy glanced over at him, his own cheeks flaring even darker, before he looked away again. "I liked it too." He muttered. God, he looked so cute with that blush on his cheeks, and it was a familar look that helped ground Michael even more in the present.

“Could you... do it again?”

Jeremy looked back at Michael, eyes wide and blush not lessening in the slightest. "You want me to?" He asked hopefully.

Michael nodded. “Yeah. The nose kiss was really cute and nice.”

Jeremy smiled shyly before he leaned down. He kissed the end of Michael’s nose again, before he rubbed their noses together and pulled back.

“Wow, two kinds of kisses. How brave of you,” Michael said around a laugh and with warmer cheeks.

Jeremy's blush darkened and he grinned and shrugged. "I've been feeling braver in these past few weeks. I think my therapy is helping at last. Just a little, but it's something."

“That’s the power of a good therapist,” Michael said with a nod. “From what you’ve told me about her, Dr. Riley is a wonderful woman.”

"She is." Jeremy nodded. "It's only been two weeks but I like her already." He squeezed Michael again. "But enough about me, how are you feeling, now that you've had time to settle?"

Michael took a minute to mentally check himself over. “I’m... better. I don’t like that I can disassociate like that though.”

"Yeah, me either. We should talk to your moms about getting you a service animal or something." Jeremy mused. "How about this, you go for a shower, freshen up and stuff, I'll go downstairs and talk to Ina and make you some food. You've got to be starving about now."

Right, eating. That was something he could do again. Michael could eat foods he liked without throwing it up later when Jeremy wasn’t around. “Yeah, I didn’t realize that I was until now. Thanks, Remy.”

“Of course, Mikey.” Jeremy smiled. “I’ll make us both something to eat, you go have a nice, refreshing shower.” He paused before kissing the end of Michael’s nose again.

Michael smiled before he went and kissed the end of Jeremy’s nose. “Make sure it’s something we both can eat, alright?”

“I will.” Jeremy promised, the adorable rosy blush on his cheeks making him look even cuter. Carefully, he sat Michael back up and climbed out of bed. “See you in a few, Mikey. I’ll come check on you if you’re not out in fifteen minutes, so please don’t lock the door.”

 “I won’t,” Michael promised as he climbed out of bed and slowly steadied himself on his feet. “Thanks.”

“Of course, Mikey.” Jeremy smiled before leaving.

Having Marshal keep a promise was weird. He kept them a lot. Sometimes he didn’t keep them, but he’d make up for it. This was one of those times. Marshal and Jeremy and their dad were all together in the living room, playing a board game. Clue. It was Jeremy and Marshal’s favorite, they got very competitive whenever they played it.

"I suspect it's Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick!" Jeremy proposed, checking over his notes. If he could find the candlestick or the library, he was set. He already knew it was Miss Scarlett, he had Colonel Mustard in his hand. He was just trying to throw Marshal off.

Marshal was glaring at him as their dad shook his head. He begrudgingly showed his card of the library to Jeremy.

That was another point off! So Miss Scarlett in the Games Room... If he could just find if it was the candlestick or the lead pipe, he could win this! Jeremy shot Marshal a cheeky grin, having more fun than he had in a while.

Dad went, asking the same thing Jeremy did. Marshal showed him a card. After that, when Marshal went, he stopped in the stairwell. “I have an accusation to make.”

Oh shit. “Go ahead Marsh.” Jeremy was suspicious. If Marshal got it wrong, he was out. If he got it right, he won this whole thing. There was no way he knew, was there?

    Marshal grinned. “It was Miss Scarlett in the Games Room with the lead pipe.” He took the small envelope, looking inside before he cheered. “Hell yeah!”

    Jeremy glowered at his brother. “Oh fuck you, Marsh.” He cried, throwing his cards at Marshal before bursting out laughing. “Good game dude!”

    Both his brother and dad smiled. “Two things,” his dad started, “One, I was completely off with my guess. Two, it’s nice to hear your laugh again.”

    Jeremy grinned and leaned back in his chair. He arched an eyebrow curiously. What did dad mean-? Oh. Jeremy hadn’t laughed so freely in a long time. Especially not around his dad or his brother. His smile grew a little more. “It’s nice to be laughing again.” Was all he said.

“I’m glad to hear that. Also, dad, what the hell was your guess?” Marshal asked around a laugh of his own.

“Professor Plum in the Library with the Wrench!” Dad laughed. Jeremy burst out laughing again, joy and energy surging through him. 

This moment was perfect. It was everything Jeremy had missed and more. Jeremy decided he could live for more moments like this.

    It was weird for the Heere household to be working like a well-oiled machine, even though Michael was happy that things were better. Marshal answering the door and telling him that Jeremy was upstairs was weird, but a good weird. “I’m going to make pizza after I finish applying for online school. Cheese pizza good for you?” 

“Yeah, it is. Thanks, Marsh,” Michael said, smiling as he finished toeing off his shoes.

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Marshal clapped him on the shoulder. “Just a warning, though, Jeremy was in a weird mood earlier. Not a super bad one, luckily, just a bit... off. Feel free to grab one of us if you need any help with him, yeah? Dad’s just in the garage working on restoring the car for Jeremy.”

    Michael nodded. He had a few ideas on what mood Jeremy could be in. “Thanks for the heads up.” With a smile, Michael headed upstairs and to Jeremy’s room.

    Jeremy’s door was closed. That itself wasn’t unusual, but the angry muttering he could hear on the other side of it was. “C’mon. C’mon!” He could just about make out Jeremy’s voice. “I was a part of him, right? He should be here somewhere!”

    Oh. Michael could help Jeremy with this. He knocked on Jeremy's door and called for Jeremy. "Remy?"

    Michael could hear Jeremy’s small yelp of surprise before he cleared his throat. “Come in!” He called, clearly scrambling to grab something. Probably his phone

    Michael walked in before smiling at Jeremy. He was looking at his phone. "What's going on, my dude?"

    “Hey, Mikey. Oh, you know... not much.” Jeremy smiled very unconvincingly. It was clear he was super uncomfortable, but he was trying for Michael’s sake. Just like when Michael was in hospital.

    "Jeremy, you can tell me what you were doing. I could hear you outside the door," Michael told Jeremy before he went and sat down on Jeremy's bed.

    Jeremy flinched, then sagged where he was sitting. “Oh...” he sighed, closing his eyes. After a pause, he sighed again. “I was seeing if I could find Minnie again... with this thing.” He pointed to his white patch.

    "I don't think you can. He was exorcised," Michael reminded Jeremy, even if it hurt his heart to do so.

    “I know.” Jeremy nodded sadly. “I just-“ He sighed again and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around me. “I just wanted to feel that way again. And I figured if Minnie was a part of me, then maybe I could connect to him if another version of him existed somewhere.”

    "Even if he did exist, you wouldn't be able to find him, I don't think." Michael held an arm out and Jeremy scooted closer. He wrapped his arm around Jeremy's shoulder and rested his head against his best friend's. "Minnie was a unique combination of you and Squip. He wasn't you, even if you were a part of him. Does that make sense?"

    “Yeah.” Jeremy didn’t sound happy about that fact. “I had a feeling that was the case, but I still... I was hoping there was a chance.” Jeremy was still kinda stiff in Michael’s arms, but he did lean into the touch a bit. Which meant, at the very least, that he wasn’t feeling too terrible that he was rejecting touch. That could still happen sometimes.

"You mentioned wanting to feel 'that way' again. Can you describe what you mean?"

“Complete.” Jeremy sighed. “When I was Minnie, I felt... whole. It was... satisfying and fulfilling in a way I can’t describe. It was just... yeah.” He trailed off, closing his eyes. The sadness was rolling off him and Michael wanted nothing more than to help, but he didn’t know quite how. “I know I can’t be him again, and that he wanted me to live on instead of him, but at the same time... part of me wishes he wasn’t so self sacrificing. He got too much of me in that respect.” He chuckled weakly, but there was no humour in it.

Michael thought for a few minutes, letting the silence hang over them, before he spoke again. "Well, who says you can't feel whole some other way?"

That caught Jeremy’s attention. “Like what?” He asked curiously.

Michael shrugged. "I don't know how exactly, that's up to you, but you find something that can fill that hole. It could be art or video games or just something that makes you feel complete," he explained as he fiddled with Jeremy's shirt fabric. It helped him focus on his thoughts. "Some people say that writing is their passion and it makes them feel whole."

Jeremy didn’t stop him, and instead just hummed thoughtfully. “I... guess. I could try that, I guess.” He muttered, leaning closer to Michael and relaxing more. Then he sighed. “How are you feeling today, anyways? You wanna see what I’ve been doing?”

"Show me what you've been doing and then I'll tell you how I'm feeling today."

Jeremy took Michael’s other hand and squeezed it. Then he slowly raised it towards his white patch. “You sure?” Michael nodded. “Okay, it can be overwhelming at first, but just relax. And you can pull out if you need to, just remove your hand. If this even works, of course.”

"Well, I'll let you know if it works."

Jeremy let go of Michael’s wrist and leaned forwards slightly, letting Michael run his fingers through his hair. Nothing happened at first, despite the fact it was cold to the touch, and Jeremy huffed. “Okay, one second... lemme just-“ 

There was a flash of silvery light in front of Michael’s eyes and suddenly he was staring at a mirror image of himself. Except, this wasn’t quite a mirror image. This Michael was older, probably in his early twenties at least. There was a certain tiredness in his eyes, like he had lost a lot, but his smile was bright and genuine. And Jeremy was standing next to him, around the same age, but this time in a slick three piece suit. They both had wedding rings on and there were two large dogs sitting with them. Michael couldn’t tell what breed they were, but they looked so lovely. 

This was overwhelming, but Michael couldn’t help but be curious. He looked closer, trying to find out more. 

“Why are you in the suit again, Remy?” He found himself asking the older Jeremy. “I thought you donated all of them.” 

“I did.” The older Jeremy replied, rolling his shoulders. He sounded tired, but not scared in the slightest. “But Derek has heard reports of some old SQUIP cells reforming in the area. Jake and I have been hired to take them out. Considering I’m still technically the highest ranking, I’m the best candidate.” He reached into a draw and pulled out a gun. He slipped it into a holster before he walked over to Michael. “I’ll be back before dinner, yeah? You promise me tacos again.” He kissed Michael’s lips quickly. 

“Be safe, hun. I know you’ve been keeping your skills up, but I worry. I don’t want you getting hurt.” 

“Don’t worry, Mikey, I’ll be fine. I married you. Of course I’m going to be safe, I’ve got to spend the rest of my life wooing you. It’s what you deserve.” Jeremy grinned, stroking the dogs before heading to the door.

Michael found himself gone from the sight suddenly. He had to catch his breath as he realized he was back in Jeremy's room. Shit, that was overwhelming and disorienting. As he caught his breath, he noticed Jeremy hovering. 

"I'm fine, 's just a lot, like you said," Michael assured Jeremy before he sighed. "I... I saw us together, married and with two dogs, and it sounded like you were a retired hitman. You were going to take care of... I think reforming hitmen groups? It was a lot and I'm still reeling."

“So that’s where you went.” Jeremy hummed, rubbing Michael’s back as soon as he got the nod of permission to touch. “That’s an intense one. I ended up visiting there right when I was in the middle of sparring with someone. It was a lot.” He kept his tone soft and his touches gentle.

"I can only imagine." Michael paused as he thought more on what he saw. "You also apparently love my tacos in that world. I wish I knew how to make tacos."

“We can look it up sometime.” Jeremy smiled weakly, nudging Michael with a playful snort. “Maybe tomorrow or something. It could be a small adventure.”

That got a smile out of Michael. "Yeah, it could be. It'll be an adventure eating it too. Who knows how badly it'll ruin our stomach lining."

“We don’t know that for sure.” Jeremy pointed out. “They could be amazing. And if it comes down to it, I can just connect you to that Michael again and you can write the instructions down.” He snorted again, grinning a bit more solidly now he’d relaxed.

"I mean, I guess, but then I don't get to learn and improve my shitty cooking skills properly. It's like cheating."

“Also true.” Jeremy grinned. “But then again, when has that stopped me?”

"What, cheating?"

“Yup.” Jeremy’s smirk was mischievous. “Considering how often you accused me of cheating when we were younger I would have thought it was obvious. Though, I still don’t get how I could have cheated at Mario kart. On your console which you kept at your house.” He arched an eyebrow and poked Michael’s stomach. “Anyways. I think this was good proof that the spot is safe to touch unless I’m actively trying to show you something.”

"Well, let's double check." Michael ran his hand against the white spot, smiling down at Jeremy. "Yeah, it's safe-" What Jeremy said hit him then. "Wait, you were actually a huge cheater? I was always joking. Jeremy!"

“So am I.” Jeremy burst out laughing, rocking back as he giggled and laughed happily. It was great to see how drastically his mood had changed. “I’m just saying you always accused me of cheating. I don’t think it’s actually possible to cheat at Mario kart!”

Michael raised a brow as he grabbed his phone. "I'm sure there's some way to do it."

Jeremy snorted and rolled his eyes, shifting himself to lie across Michael’s lap. He hesitated, then smiled up at Michael. “Thanks, Mikey. I feel loads better now that I got the stuff about Minnie off my chest.”

"I'm glad that I can help." Michael reached down and ran his fingers through Jeremy's hair after a moment. "You can come to me for anything."

Jeremy closed his eyes and relaxed even more. “Thanks, Mikey...” he hummed. “Now, how are you feeling today? You told me you’d tell me after all that.”

“I'm feeling alright. I ate earlier today and I haven't had any episodes recently," Michael explained. "We're also hoping to get my service animal soon."

“Yeah?” Jeremy asked, peering up at Michael with a grin before closing his eyes again. “What are you getting? Do you know?”

"Don't know yet, but it's going to be a dog at least. I'm very excited."

“That’s awesome, dude.” There was a pause. “Let’s stay here for a while. Then we can go play something. I’m comfy.”

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." Michael wanted to enjoy this moment with Jeremy. They were at peace, relaxed, and very much alive.