Chapter 1
“I didn’t just lie. I started the fire.”
Josie knew she was in too deep. She had to come clean.
She had watched Hope and her twin tear each other apart for days over the rumors and the fire and everything else that had ultimately destroyed any chance at a friendship between them so many years ago. She couldn’t take it any longer.
So now, here she stood, looking between them, trying to gather the courage to own up to the mistake she made so long ago. She took a deep breath, turned to the red headed girl standing in her doorway and hesitantly began to fill her in.
“Lizzie had made some remark about me being obsessed with you. I just blurted out ‘How could I be obsessed with somebody who could say such mean things about my twin?’”
“But I didn’t!” Hope interjected.
“I know. I just made it up.” The younger girl admitted.
“Why?” Hope asked, clearly baffled by the actions of the brunette, who she had previously considered to be so honest and loyal and kind.
“Because I didn’t want Lizzie to know the truth.” Josie began. It was now or never. Josie squeezed her eyes shut and took one final slow, deep breath, willing herself to continue. The only way she could even begin to fix all the damage she had caused was to be completely and totally honest. “I had a crush on you.” Josie said softly, her eyes moving between the floor, the ceiling; really just anywhere besides Hope’s eyes. “And I had slipped a note into your room that morning. I don’t know, I just really immediately regretted it, so I did a fire spell under your door. I was really only aiming for the note.”
Hope and Josie held eye contact silently for a moment, the younger girl desperately trying to read Hope’s expression, to gauge her reaction, but her face remained more or less blank. Suddenly, Lizzie spoke up from behind them, reminding the pair of her presence.
“Why would it matter that I knew?” Lizzie asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
“Because for my whole life, any time I’ve ever liked anyone, you go for them. And you always win.” Josie explained to her sister.
Hope, who had been silently processing Josie’s admission, finally seemed to react to all of it. Instead of the anger that Josie had braced herself for, Hope just smiled softly to herself.
“You had a crush on me?” She finally asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course I did.” Josie’s brown eyes wide and sincere. “Who wouldn’t?”
Lizzie seemed to notice the way that Hope and Josie shyly smiled at each other, a light blush spreading across both girls’ cheeks, because she smirked knowingly to herself and announced that she would be spending the night with Sebastian, hurrying out the door and leaving the two of them alone, shutting the door on her way out to give them some privacy. Josie chuckled at her sister’s complete and utter lack of subtlety.
Josie sat on the edge of her bed, and addressed the girl that was still leaning against her door. “I really am sorry, Hope. I had no idea that the fire spell would cause so much damage. And the damage I caused in you and Lizzie’s relationship, I just... I knew I couldn’t take any of it back, I couldn’t fix everything I’d destroyed, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you over it, Hope. You just... you mean the world to me and I-” At the sight of Josie’s tears, Hope crossed the room and sat next to Josie on her bed. Despite everything, Hope couldn’t find it within herself to hold any resentment towards the younger girl. She took her face gently in her hands and used her thumb to swipe the tears off of Josie’s cheeks.
“Hey, Jo, look at me.” Hope said, tilting her chin upwards with her finger. “I forgive you. It’s okay. It’s okay, Jo.” Her heart felt as if it was about to burst in her chest, and she knew that no matter what, she could never feel anything but love for the girl in front of her.
“It’s late. I should go.” Hope began, tucking a stray hair behind Josie’s ear.
“Stay.” Josie whispered, more of a command than a request. “Please.”
“Yeah. Of course.” Hope breathed back.
“Um, I can move to Lizzie’s bed, I know you must be weirded out by-” Josie rambled, until Hope cut her off by simply wrapping an arm loosely around her waist and laying her down gently, her chest pressed to Josie’s back. Josie’s face burned red and her body was as stiff as a board. Josie cleared her throat awkwardly and asked, “Do you want to borrow some pajamas?” Hope couldn’t help but giggle at Josie’s apparent nervousness.
“Yeah, sure.” Hope replied, propping herself up on her elbow, already missing the feeling of Josie beside her. Josie grabbed a pair of shorts and a loose, cutoff t-shirt for herself, and tossed Hope a baggy t-shirt that would easily reach to her knees, no shorts necessary. As Josie went into the bathroom to change, Hope watched her walk away, contemplating everything that had just happened.
Josie had a crush on her. But had, as in past-tense, or...?
It had to be. There was no way Josie still wanted her, not after everything that had taken place over the past few years. As far as Hope was concerned, Josie resented her just as much as Lizzie did for occupying so much of Dr. Saltzman’s time and energy, she was just too polite to express it.
Hope, on the other hand, was never truly able to overcome the crush she had developed on Josie as a 14 year old. She had tried her best not to acknowledge it, to distract herself with boys like Landon. And yet, somehow, she still found herself staring at Josie from across the room from time to time, admiring her gorgeous dark eyes and her soft, full, kissable lips-
Hope was yanked from her reverie when Josie returned, and raised an eyebrow at Hope when she noticed that she hadn’t changed into her pajamas. Oops. Josie can be... distracting.
She traded places with the brunette, shutting the door to the bathroom and pulling the sleep shirt over her head. She took a moment, leaning against the bathroom counter, studying her face in the mirror. She knew that her and Josie would never be a thing. She had resigned herself to it years ago.
She wondered if she was torturing herself by allowing herself to sleep in the same bed as Josie, knowing that she could never be with her the way that she wanted to be. She decided that she didn’t care, that she would take what she could get and savor every moment of it. When it came to Josie, Hope had no control.