Group Chat: World Tour Mayhem ✈️
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Duncan: Yo, why are we even in this stupid group chat? We’re still stuck on this plane.
Gwen: Because misery loves company.
Heather: And some of us still like to keep tabs on our enemies. 👀
Courtney: You mean your girlfriend?
Heather: I will throw you out of this plane.
Courtney: Wow. I can’t believe I went from suing this show to getting threatened by my own girlfriend.
Duncan: Classic Courtney.
Noah: Classic Duncan, still breathing when nobody asked.
Alejandro: 😏 Impressive, Noah. That insult was nearly as sharp as your wit.
Noah: I am my wit. The rest of me is just along for the ride.
Alejandro: And what a ride it would be if you let me take the wheel.
Gwen: OH—
Courtney: 👀
Heather: 🤡 You’re so embarrassing, Alejandro.
Alejandro: Am I? Or am I just persistent?
Noah:More like a mosquito I can’t slap away.
Alejandro: And yet, you haven’t blocked me.
Noah: That’s because watching you crash and burn is its own form of entertainment.
Duncan: Pfft. This is funnier than Chris’s legal battles.
Heather: Let’s be real, nothing is funnier than Chris getting arrested for unpaid taxes.
Courtney: Except maybe Alejandro simping for Noah in 4K.
Alejandro: I do not “simp.” I court. With elegance. With style. With—
Noah: —delusion.
Gwen: 🤣🤣🤣
Alejandro: Keep laughing, mi amor. It only makes you more attractive.
Noah: Stop flirting with me in a group chat, you international menace.
Duncan: This is the best soap opera I’ve ever watched.
Heather: It’s so much better when I’m not the main disaster for once.
Courtney: That’s debatable.
Heather: I will literally kiss you just to shut you up.
Gwen: 👀 DO IT
Duncan: Bro.
Alejandro: See, Noah? That’s how you seal the deal.
Noah: I hate this chat.
Alejandro: But you love me.
Noah: I plead the fifth.
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[30 minutes later]
Courtney: Update: Heather just cornered me in the cargo hold.
Duncan: LMAO
Gwen: I’m obsessed with this timeline.
Heather: What, like I wouldn’t follow through?
Courtney: … I’m not mad.
Duncan: Omg.
Noah: Okay, but let’s focus on the real issue.
Noah: Alejandro just tried to FaceTime me twice. From the first-class section.
Alejandro: Only twice? Clearly, I need to try harder.
Gwen: STOPPPPP
Courtney: This is cyberstalking.
Alejandro: This is commitment.
Noah: This is a mistake.
Alejandro: And yet, you answered.
Noah: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
Duncan: Sure it was, dude.
Heather: This man is out here pulling a whole novella romance mid-air.
Alejandro: I am a man of passion.
Noah: You are a man of delusion.
Gwen: And yet, Noah is still texting him back.
Noah: SHUT UP
Alejandro: 😘
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[Later that night]
Duncan: Yo, Gwen fell asleep in her seat next to me. Again.
Gwen: It’s called being comfortable, leave me alone.
Courtney: Are you two even dating or just aggressively best friends?
Duncan: We don’t label things.
Heather: That means Gwen is carrying this whole relationship.
Gwen: I can neither confirm nor deny.
Alejandro: Speaking of relationships, Noah, when will you admit you’re madly in love with me?
Noah: I will be admitting nothing tonight or ever.
Alejandro: But you just called me.
Noah: I CALLED TO TELL YOU TO STOP CALLING ME.
Alejandro: …And yet, here we are.
Gwen: He got you there.
Courtney: Noah, just say you like him and move on.
Noah: I REFUSE.
Alejandro:You’re only making me want you more, mi amor.
Duncan: Noah’s got that hard to get game locked down.
Noah: I’m not playing a game, I’m trying to survive.
Alejandro: Survive me? Oh, sweetheart, I don’t bite.
Noah: THAT IS A LIE.
Heather: 🤣🤣🤣
Alejandro: Fine. I’ll be patient. For now.
Noah: Thank you.
Alejandro: But I will be sitting next to you at breakfast.
Noah: I—
Noah: I hate this chat.
Gwen: No you don’t.
Noah: Whatever. Goodnight.
Alejandro: Sweet dreams, mi amor.
Noah: BLOCKED.