Cordelia woke to Misty’s mumbling, mumbling that very quickly turned into screams. Cordelia quickly sat up, she knew what to do, she had done this many times before. She placed her hands on Misty’s shoulders, she shook softly, hoping to wake the cajun from her nightmare.
Nightmares had become a regular occurrence, Misty hadn’t slept well in weeks, this was evident from the slight bags below her eyes. She ate like a small child, she had for the past few weeks, ever since the nightmares started. Cordelia would push her to eat, as much as she could. But, there was only so much she could do. She’d stay up and go through spell books, over and over again, reading every book that was in the coven’s library, but she was still left with no answer each time. Accepting this - accepting that she couldn’t fix this when she could fix almost everything else - was something that she wasn’t ready to accept. She refused. All that she could do was make potions that calmed Misty enough for her to get some sleep, usually a few hours at the most.
“Mist.”
She shook again, still softly, but a little harder this time. Misty mumbled, her eyes moved frantically beneath her eyelids, her eyebrows knitted together.
“Don’t touch me, don’t hurt me.”
Over and over again, again and again.
Misty’s eyes opened. She flinched seeing Cordelia there leaning over her, her hands automatically pushed cordelia away, she wasn’t able to take in her surroundings just yet and recognise the woman. She sat up and folded her legs upwards, holding them against her chest, her arms wrapped around them and locked there. Her head fell forwards, blonde curls fell and hid her. They created a safe space, one where she could not see, one where others could not see her.
“Mist,” Cordelia placed a hand softly over Misty’s, the girl flinched instantly, she was awake but the fear was yet to fade, “Misty, sweetheart, it’s me.”
She lifted her head and glanced at the woman in front of her. Her cheeks were stained with tears, strings of snot below her nose. Pieces of her hair were stuck to her cheeks, stuck against the dampness that the tears had left behind.
“Delia?”
Cordelia’s heart weeped. Misty’s eyes were wide and filled with terror, pupils the size of the moon, her bottom lip trembled. She shook, her muscles jerked uncontrollably.
“Yes,” Cordelia whispered, “it’s Delia.”
Misty unfolded her legs and shuffled forwards, she wrapped her arms around the older woman and squeezed. She refused to let go, she felt safe here, safe with Cordelia. Her heartbeat started to slow, until she could no longer feel her heart thumping in her throat.
“You are safe, you are here with me and you are okay.”
Cordelia kissed the top of her head, arms wrapping around her back, holding her and rubbing the palm of her left hand against Misty’s spine. Up and down, up and down.
“I can still feel it, the way my skin burnt and melted, how it blistered. How the smoke filled my lungs and suffocated me. Nobody cared, nobody missed me, nobody looked for me.”
Cordelia’s breath got caught in her throat, she had the sudden urge to cry. Tears welled from deep inside, they eventually spilt over and flowed down her cheeks, winding and twisting down over the curves of her face.
“It hurt so bad, nothin’ has ever felt that awful. I keep seeing the men, their faces, I keep reliving it. It happens again and again, I can’t even escape by sleeping anymore.” Misty inhaled, drawing in a shaky breath, “What if I’m like this forever, Delia?”
“You won’t be,” Cordelia sniffled, “I’ll fix it.”
“But what if you can’t, what if I keep having these awful nightmares?”
“You won’t. I’ll fix it, I will.
“But what if there isn’t anything that can fix this? I can’t live like this Delia this is no way to live and I-“
“No.” Cordelia’s embrace tightened, she felt like she could lose the cajun at any second, she wanted to stay like this forever so that she could keep Misty safe, “None of that. No. You won’t have to live like this forever, I will not stop searching until I can find something that will make this all go away. I refuse to fail you, and I refuse to hear you doubting that there’ll be an answer. There will be an answer.”
“I’m just tired. Real tired.”
“I know. You are so strong, Mist.”
Misty’s sniffling soon stopped, her muscles no longer twitched beneath her skin and she could breathe again.
“Do you want to go back to bed? You don’t have to sleep, I’ll hold you. It’s better than no rest at all.”
Misty lifted her head from cordelia’s chest and nodded softly.
Oh she looked tired. Beyond tired.
Cordelia got up off the bed and went over to the bedside table on Misty’s side, she turned on the turntable that she had gotten for her and placed the Belladonna vinyl onto it, setting it up and letting it play.
Stevie helped, Stevie helped with everything, Stevie helped the girl sleep.
She got back into the bed, laying beside Misty and pulling the blanket up over them. Misty slowly shuffled closer to Cordelia and placed her head back onto her lover’s chest.
She closed her eyes, frightened of accidentally slipping back into her nightmare’s arms, but able to ignore it enough to get some rest. Cordelia’s fingernails scraped softly over her scalp, her hands were tangled in blonde tresses.
Misty listened to Cordelia’s heartbeat, her favourite sound, even superior to Stevie. It was like a lullaby, each beat echoed within Cordelia’s chest. Her eyelids grew heavy, fluttering until she could no longer escape it. Eventually, she let sleep pull her into it’s arms.
There would be no more nightmares. No, not tonight.
Not in the arms of her lover.