Scylla's palms are slick with sweat, and she has to wipe them on her jeans as Raelle pulls the truck into the cemetery driveway. They pass through the gate, and Scylla's heart jumps into her throat as they inch past each row of headstones.
"It's the last row on the left. Under the oak tree," Scylla whispers, and Raelle nods, slowly maneuvering the truck down the left lane and parking under the tree.
They sit in silence for a few minutes, Raelle allowing Scylla time to work up her nerve, all the while Scylla struggles to take deep breaths.
"Angel, this doesn't have to happen today," Raelle murmurs, reaching out to take Scylla's clenched fist, and Scylla inhales sharply, latching onto Raelle's hand, her grip bruising.
"I know. But I want to. I want you to know about this part of me. I want to share this with you," Scylla says, and Raelle tilts her head with a tiny smile.
"Well, then we can sit here all day. Take all the time you need, Scyl."
Scylla nods and leans across the console to capture Raelle's lips in a sweet kiss.
"Thank you," Scylla breathes, her words brushing Raelle's lips, and Raelle reaches out to cup Scylla's face.
"You're welcome."
Scylla smiles softly and rests her forehead on Raelle's, closing her eyes as she soaks in Raelle's calm and sturdy presence.
After a few minutes of just existing together, Scylla finally pulls back and looks up to meet Raelle's soft gaze.
"I'm ready."
Raelle smiles and leans forward to press a lingering kiss to Scylla's lips, one that has Scylla sinking into it and chasing for another, which Raelle immediately reciprocates.
A few more pecks and Raelle is pulling back and tucking some hair behind Scylla's ear.
"Do you want some time with them first?" Raelle asks, and Scylla shakes her head.
"No, I want you there with me."
"Then lead the way beautiful," Raelle says with a gentle smile, and Scylla pecks her cheek before moving to open her door and jumping out.
Raelle follows and meets her at the front of the truck with the bouquet she bought. Scylla's mother's favourites. Scylla hadn't even told Raelle about them, but apparently, she saw the picture on the wall of Scylla's house that Scylla's father had taken of Scylla and her mother. They were gardening outback and planting the exact flowers Raelle is holding right now.
Daylilies.
Raelle took a guess, and Scylla fell a little - no- a lot harder for her girlfriend. With a bouquet of white carnations in hand, Scylla leads Raelle to the headstone.
Her steps are slow but steady, and with Raelle's hand in hers, she makes it to the plot in a handful of steps.
She stops in front of her parent's headstone and kneels, bringing Raelle with her and together they lean their bouquets against the stone.
"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Sorry I haven't visited in a while," Scylla whispers, placing her hand in the center of the granite, her fingers brushing over the words 'loving parents.’ Raelle moves closer, and places her hand on Scylla's back, rubbing circles between her shoulder blades.
Scylla clears her throat and takes a deep breath before turning to face Raelle with a tiny smile. "I brought someone with me today. Her name is Raelle, and she is probably the sweetest human being on the planet."
Raelle's cheeks warm, and she ducks her head, pulling a small laugh from Scylla. Scylla leans over and pecks Raelle's cheek before continuing.
"She's my girlfriend and the absolute best. You guys would love her to pieces. She's everything you ever wanted for me and more. And I know there is no one better suited for me."
Raelle's face is burning by the time Scylla finishes, and when she peers over Scylla is watching her with such tenderness, it takes Raelle's breath away. With a small smile, Raelle turns her focus to the headstone.
"Your daughter is a flatter, Mr. and Mrs. Ramshorn. And she is exaggerating. If anyone is the sweetest human on the planet, it's her. I don't want to imagine never having met her. She's the best thing in my life, and I am just so happy I stumbled onto your property while intoxicated. Which I promise does not happen often. Your daughter is honestly the most hardworking, kindest, and loving person I know, and I promise to cherish her and support her for as long as she'll have me. Thank you for bringing my favourite person into this world."
Raelle pauses, trying to think of more to say, but when she turns to face Scylla, she knows she doesn't have to. That it was more than enough because Scylla is lurching forward, slamming into Raelle.
Raelle catches her and holds her tight as Scylla's tears begin to fall. They stay like that on their knees for what seems like hours as Scylla's tears build into sobs, and she has to bury her face into Raelle's chest to stifle them. It's not until a crack of thunder sounds from above do they pull back.
Scylla sniffles and takes in shuddering breaths to calm herself before she peers up as the rain begins to fall, and Raelle can only stare. She sits watching as the first raindrops splatter across Scylla's forehead and cheeks, sliding down and mixing with her tears. She is a perfect vision even after crying, and Raelle unconsciously reaches out to brush a few strands of hair away from Scylla's face, pulling Scylla's attention from the sky back to her.
"You are so beautiful," Raelle whispers, and Scylla scoffs, reaching up to wipe her face of her tears.
"I'm a mess, Rae."
"You're not. You are so freaking gorgeous I can't stand it at times," Raelle says with a shake of her head and Scylla purses her lips.
"Always the charmer," Scylla murmurs, and Raelle hums.
"Just honest."
Scylla shakes her head with a tiny smile before turning to her parents' headstone one last time.
"We can stay longer if you want. I'm sure I have an umbrella and a jacket in the truck somewhere. I can go get it," Raelle offers and Scylla reaches out for her hand, squeezing it.
"No, it's okay. But can we put the flowers in the vases before we go? I don't want the storm to take the bouquets."
"Of course."
Raelle helps Scylla unwrap the flowers and gently place them inside the two vases that are sticking out of the two holes on either side of the headstone.
Once done, Scylla leans forward and rests her head against the headstone.
"I love you, and I miss you. So much. But I am okay, I promise. I have Anacostia and Raelle and a bunch of new friends. Even Porter is back. So don't worry. I will see you guys soon," Scylla whispers and Raelle's eyes water as she watches her girlfriend speak.
She can't imagine losing her parents. Nor imagine the pain that Scylla has been carrying for five years. She wishes Scylla never had to go through that.
"Rae? You okay?" Scylla asks, noticing Raelle's grip on her hand growing tense, and when she turns to face her, her heart stutters as she catches the first tear falling from Raelle's eye. Scylla twists and tugs Raelle towards her.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Scylla asks, a frown marring her features and Raelle laughs roughly, shaking her head as she rubs at her eyes to stop the tears.
"I don't know. I'm just really sad that your parents aren't here with you. They should be here. I don't like that you had to lose them. It's not fair," Raelle rasps, clearing her throat in an attempt to dislodge the lump forming.
Scylla tilts her head sympathetically and reaches up to cup Raelle's cheeks leaning forward to press their foreheads together.
"You're right; it's not fair. But life isn't fair. And it hurts, so much, but I have come to accept it, which lessens the pain, though it will never really go away. But you know what makes me happy even when I am hurting?" Scylla whispers, and Raelle shakes her head.
"You. You make me so happy, Raelle. More than anyone ever has. You can make me forget that pain and focus on the present and find joy in the littlest things. And with you came friends I never thought I would have. For five years, I cared about nothing but school and getting a good career because that's all I had planned before. I didn't want to meet someone because I'd inevitably lose them like I did my parents. I didn't want to be happy because why should I get to be when my parents are gone? But I know now that I am allowed to experience those feelings. It's okay for me to laugh and smile and just feel free. My parents would want that for me even if I convinced myself long ago it was wrong. I am okay; I am happier than I have been in the past years, and its because I have accepted that I deserve to have a good life free of guilt. I still have bad days because, of course I do. That grief doesn't just go away, and it's taken a lot of therapy for me to get to this point, but I promise Raelle I am in a good place."
Raelle nods quickly and wipes at her face again when more tears fall, and Scylla presses a lingering kiss to Raelle's forehead.
"I'm okay. I don't know what came over me, sorry," Raelle says with an awkward chuckle, and Scylla shakes her head, cupping Raelle's chin.
"Never apologize for feeling empathy, Raelle. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, okay?"
"Okay," Raelle whispers with a tiny smile, and Scylla presses a quick kiss to Raelle's cheek before linking their fingers together.
"Hot chocolate and snuggles?" Scylla offers, and Raelle nods readily.
"Always. And definitely some of that leftover pie from yesterday."
"Deal."
---------
Never before did Scylla think she'd meet someone who fits so seamlessly into her life as Raelle does. No one has ever wanted to know her fully. To want to dig into the dark storm that is her past and stick around.
But here Raelle is, shoving her face with chocolate pie as Scylla curls around her on the couch, her legs across Raelle's lap acting as the table for their plates with her head pressed into the crook of Raelle's neck as Hercules plays on Scylla's t.v.
It's something Scylla never thought she'd have, but she is so glad she does. Because this warmth she feels any time she is around Raelle isn't something she could give up now. No, she finally feels like she belongs again. Like a piece of her has stitched itself back together with the help of Raelle's soft reassurance and care.
She thought she knew love before. But now, watching Raelle sing along to the movie, she knows whatever she felt before is nothing compared to what she is feeling right now.
Raelle peers down at her with a giant grin, chocolate on her chin and a childlike giddiness as she sings down at Scylla.
“Come on Scyl! This is the perfect duet song. Sing with me,” Raelle pleads and Scylla laughs reaching up to wipe the chocolate off Raelle’s chin. Raelle pauses in her singing and pouts, attempting to look down at her chin.
When Raelle looks back up and meets her gaze, blue eyes so bright and full of adoration that’s when Scylla knows just what she feels for Raelle. It’s as sudden as a swift kick to the gut.
She is deeply and madly in love with Raelle Collar.