Silver Skin

Dear Lance,

It's only been a week since I've left. I miss you so much it hurts, but I guess that's just how it has to be now.

At least it's the summer now, so that's good. My dad is trying not to be hard on me, but I can tell he's frustrated. I don't have many friends, which isn't ALL my fault.

I haven't talked to Pidge at all after being gone for two months, and I haven't built up the courage to admit what happened. And anyway, she has this whole new friend group. They are the 'cool kids' if you will, and I don't really know how to even approach that.

But for now, I'll just keep writing to you until I figure something out. And then keep writing after that. I miss you so much. Maybe I'll visit this weekend?

Love, Hunk.

Hunk closes his note book and sets it aside to the corner of his desk. He looks at the picture of him and Lance, and then next to it a picture of him and Pidge. Damn, he really should call her.

Hunk pushes his rolling chair away from his desk, standing up and heading out to the living room to use the house phone. His dad still hasn't given him his smartphone back, and probably won't until Hunk decides to leave the house. How is he even supposed to make plans anyway with no phone?

Despite this, he has Pidge's number memorized, so he dials it into the small handheld house phone. It rings 4 times before it picks up, and Pidge's voice comes through the other end.

"Hello?" She asks, a lot of chatter and voices coming through as well.

"Pidge! It's Hunk." He exclaims, cringing at the annoying sound of his voice.

"Oh my god, I haven't heard from you in two months! What happened?" She questions, and Hunk could tell Pidge walked to a quieter room.

"It's a long story. Maybe we could hang out sometime soon to talk about it?" Hunk questions.

"Of course, I'll go home right now and we can have a sleepover. My house, of course. I'll make my dad get us pizza. See you there?" Pidge says quickly, a hopeful sound to her voice. Hunk can't help but smile, his best friend has always been so quick to be at his side. Why did he ever even doubt her?

"That sounds great Pidge. I'll see you in an hour." He says softly.

"See you." Pidge responds before hanging up.

That was admittedly easier than he thought it'd be. Well, he should probably get to packing an overnight bag.

He tosses a pair of pajamas in a bag, as well as an extra sweatshirt and jeans for tomorrow morning. He also packs his toothbrush and such. He's done quickly, and he takes a few minutes to check himself over in the mirror.

His hair looked adequate, but he looks big and fat, as usual. He's probably never going to like the way he looks, and he has to deal with that every day.

Hunk exits the bathroom, going to the living room. His dad is sitting on the couch, the TV on but he's mostly zoned out with a beer in his hand. He doesn't even notice as Hunk tugs on his boots and gently opens and closes the door behind him. He considers taking the truck, seeing he would be home at a decent time tomorrow and his dad could have it in time for work, but goes against it. He shouldn't be trusted with a vehicle in the first place.

The walk to Pidge's house is nice. She only lives a 15 minute walk away, and the weather is decent. He's able to drop off his letter to Lance at the post office, too. It's almost seven PM by the time he arrives at Pidge's house, and his hands are sweaty in anticipation. It's been awhile since they've seen each other.

He slowly brings his hand up to the doorbell, before pulling back and opting to knock gently on the door. A few seconds later, Pidge opens up the door, a smile on her face. She immediately jumps onto Hunk, wrapping her small figure around him in a tight hug. He obviously hugs her back, burying his head in her shoulder as he lifts her up to his starkly different height. They hug for a long few seconds before he puts her back down.

"Ok, so my dad already ordered pizza, and he'll be home with it in like an hour or something. My mom and Matt are out shopping, so we have the whole house to ourselves." Pidge babbles on, locking the door behind Hunk and turning back towards him. "We can go up to my room or chill in the living room, whatever you want!" Pidge says.

"Um, the living room sounds good, I guess?" Hunk shrugs, not really caring. They walk together out towards the nicely cleaned and decorated living room. The Holt's like to keep a well-presented house, and it shows. Despite this, Pidge plops onto the couch, immediately propping her feet up on the coffee table. Hunk smiles, sitting down at the other end of the couch. He sits crossed legged, facing towards Pidge.

"So, I guess you have a lot to tell me? You're dad kind of told my parents that you went to live with your mom for a few months when I started asking, but I kind of figured that wasn't true." Pidge says, crossing her arms.

"He said that?" Hunk huffs, "what a douche." He says, rolling his eyes. "It's kind of a long story, but the short version is I crashed my dad's car because I was really depressed and kind of didn't care if I died or not, you know?" He says, laughing awkwardly. Pidge sits up, jaw dropped.

"Hunk, you tried to kill yourself and nobody told me? Oh my god I would have visited you or something, literally anything!" Pidge says, clearly a little saddened.

"I know, it's just... it wasn't one of my prouder moments. I didn't even really do a very good job, because all that happened was a few pretty bad cuts and a concussion. When I woke up in the hospital I begged my dad not to tell anyone that I had tried to kill myself. I guess he came up with a pretty shitty excuse, though."

"Shit, Hunk. That's awful. What happened after that?" Pidge asked.

"Well, my dad was still concerned even though I told him I was fine, so he sent me to a mental health facility out in the city. I was there for most of the two months I was gone." Hunk says, looking down at his hands. Somehow, that fact is more embarrassing than his suicide attempt.

"Wow. How was that? Is it as awful as the movies make it out to be?" Pidge tries to joke, but it's kind of awkward and makes them both uncomfortable. Hunk tries to shake it off as he responds.

"It wasn't awful. I had strict meal plans and schedules but the people weren't too bad. I made a friend, Lance. He was awesome, and kind of my superhero. You would like him." Hunk says, trying not to get choked up.

"That's amazing. And you feel better now, right?" Pidge asks, worried for her best friend.

"I'm not perfect, but I'm getting there." Hunk says confidently.

"And if you ever feel like that again, you can tell me. I'm always here for you." Pidge leans in to hug Hunk, slumping on top of him. As they hold each other in an embrace for a minute or so, Pidge's dad comes home.

"Hey, kiddos. I brought pizza!" He cheers out, and Pidge and Hunk pull apart and get up to eat.

-

Dear Lance,

I'm happy to say me and Pidge have reunited. I don't honestly know what I was so scared of, she was just as accepting as she has always been. I told her about you, and how much she would like you.

After I'd gotten all of that off my chest, we just had a really fun night. She told me about all her new friends, and invited me to hang out with them. She probably feels obligated to invite me, but I'll just have to swallow my pride on the slim chance I could make more friends. I'm not really in the shape to miss out on friends.

I'm supposed to be meeting up with them soon, so I guess that's all for today.

Love, Hunk.

-

Hunk searches through his closet relentlessly, just trying to find something that he might possibly look ok in. His room is a mess, with clothes all over the floor and on his bed.

Maybe he needs to go shopping... except that would probably make him feel even worse. Eventually he settles on a pair of khaki pants, a yellow t-shirt, and a jacket his dad gave him that is still a little too big for him.

Hunk leaves his room in disarray, not wanting to be late to meet up with Pidge and her friends. Hunk quickly checks in on his dad who is dead asleep in his room before pulling on his sneakers and leaving the house.

Hunk still doesn't have his phone, but his dad said he could have it back sometime next week. On the walk to the little pub where Pidge invited him, Hunk starts to get nervous. The sun is just barely setting and a cooler temperature veils over his town, but he still feels sweat start welling up on his back and his hands, too.

An uneasy feeling settles in Hunk's stomach too, despite not eating at all today. This type of overthinking and worrying is what gets Hunk in trouble most of the time. He just needs to relax, and go with the flow.

As Hunk approaches the place, he wipes his hands down his pants and takes a few deep breaths. He opens the door reluctantly, stepping inside to the even cooler temperature.

Hunk glances around briefly to try to find Pidge's mop of brown hair, but suddenly she's at his side, tugging at his hand.

"Hey, Hunk! Me and my friends were just ordering some drinks, lets go!" Pidge says, pulling Hunk to their table. As they arrive, Hunk has to stop his jaw from dropping as he looks at some of the most attractive people he has ever seen; a girl and two guys laughing and drinking.

"Drinks will be here in a second!" Pidge says, sitting down and pulling out the chair next to her for Hunk. Hunk takes a seat, smiling at the group. One seat was left empty on Hunk's other side.

"Ok, guys. This is my best friend, Hunk. Hunk, this is Allura, Shiro, and Keith. There's Romelle too, she's coming back with a drink for you and I in a second!" Pidge says, gesturing vaguely to the bar.

"Oh, well.. I don't really drink." Hunk says sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Aw, whatever. I'll just drink it for you!"

Hunk doesn't say much after the initial introduction, not really knowing what to do with the way everyone was laughing and having fun. Pidge had... changed a lot. She goes to bars, has this new group of hot friends, and even wears makeup and revealing clothes now. None of that is necessarily a bad thing, considering Hunk has changed a lot too.

"Oh my god, this must be the infamous Hunk!" Someone says from vaguely behind him. Hunk turns to look, seeing a tall blonde with some drinks in her hands. This must be Romelle. Fuck, she's gorgeous.

Hunk, at a loss for words just turns back to the table awkwardly, face beat red. Before Romelle can say anything else, Keith speaks up.

"'Melle, can you go suggest a good song?" Keith is the one sitting closest to Hunk on the other side of the empty seat. He's holding out a dollar, and Romelle is setting down the drinks in order to grab the dollar. Before she gets the chance, he snatches it from Keith's hand.

"I can play something!" Hunk says a little too enthusiastically, standing up from his seat. Next to him, Romelle looks a little shocked but goes ahead and takes a seat.

"Hey, Romelle's got good taste, that's why I asked-" Keith starts saying, a scowl on his face.

"C'mon Keith. If you really don't like the song I'll pay for the next one." Shiro says, punching Keith's arm and shooting a wink at Hunk. Hunk flushes red, not wasting any time rushing towards the music guy. He ponders for a second what to play, before the obvious choice comes to mind.

He speaks with the guy manning the music for a few seconds before the first notes of the song begin to play. He smiles as he walks back towards the table. The first couple lines of the song are just beginning as he gets in ear shot of the table.

"See you had nothing to worry about." Shiro says to Keith.

"Whatever." Keith rolls his eyes.

If there is one thing Hunk was confident in, it was his taste in music. As he walks to sit down, Romelle is facing Hunk and follows him with his eyes. Once he's sat down, she says,

"Electric love, huh? Not bad. I'm Romelle!" She says, smiling and holding her hand out for Hunk to shake. Hunk worries for a second about his sweaty hands before just firmly shaking her hand and quickly letting go.

"Uh, I'm Hunk." He says, not thinking about how she literally already knows that.

"You're cute." She giggles and smiles at him, then turns to get back in on the conversation at the table.

Hunk sits there for a bit, kind of in a daze. Did such a beautiful girl just call him cute? Is that.. is that a good thing or a bad thing? Hunk zones out for a bit until Pidge's voice brings him back too.

"Hunk! You'll come to Allura's party, right?" Pidge asks, eyes sparkling and wide.

"Oh, uh- for sure!"

"That's amazing! I just moved and I thought what better to celebrate that and Pidge's birthday then a pool party!" Allura exclaims, holding her drink up for a cheers. Hunk's jaw drops, and he has no other choice but to panic and pick up the drink Romelle got from the bar and cheer with the rest of the table before throwing his head back and downing the whole thing. This party is really going to suck.

-

On the day of the pool party, Hunk feels an immense amount of dread. He hasn't seen anyone since he got invited at the bar, mostly because he's been drowning in self-pity and regret. Oh, and, nobody called.

Actually, Pidge had invited him to go swimsuit shopping, but honestly that sounded horrible. He loved Pidge to death but she tended to be... indecisive. She always would ask Hunk a million different questions about whatever she was thinking about buying. Or, she would try stuff on and say horrible things about herself, that were kind of painful for Hunk to hear.

Honestly, it kind of makes sense that Hunk and Pidge had grown apart the few months before he had, y'know. Pidge was great and all, but she tended to be a little self-involved. Hunk was having the worst year of his life, and all he ever heard from his best friend was complaints about her own life. Stuff like her dad not buying her the latest computer technology or her brother hogging the bathroom.

It was just hard for Hunk to try to manage and make Pidge feel better about everything while also keeping his collapsing mental health under control. Maybe if he had just been honest with her all those months ago, it would have been different. That's what is going to be different this time. Now, she does know. That could either be for better or for worse. Hunk will just have to see.

-

Hunk really regrets not going shopping with Pidge. Getting ready to go to Allura's house he realizes; all he owns is a 5 year old pair of swim trunks! This is really, really bad. The last time he wore these was when he was 15, what was he supposed to do now! There is no way he has time to go to the store, so he just has to make it work. The shorts technically fit him, but really lack in the length department. They barely hit mid thigh instead of a comfortable right above the knee that Hunk would much rather have.

Hunk shakes his head and sighs, putting a more well fitting pair of shorts over the trunks. Maybe he just... won't swim. He doubts Pidge will let him get away with that, but he'll have to pray.

Hunk throws on the most loose fitting t-shirt he owns, hopefully to cover up his pathetic attempt at wearing swim trunks. The shirt is one of his dads, and it barely stays up on his shoulders, leaving the rarely smooth skin over his collarbones exposed.

Hunk pockets his phone that he finally got back, as well as filling a bag with some snacks, a bottle of vodka he found in the kitchen, and sunscreen because he knows Pidge will forget. At about 6:30, Hunk leaves the house knowing he might be a little late to arrive at Allura's by 7.

Allura lives way farther away than Pidge, being just on the outskirts of town. He has to walk about 10 minutes to the bus station, take a bus for about 15, then walk to Allura's from there. Pidge offered to pick him up, but he declined, saying his dad would drive him.

The truth was, Hunk didn't want to get psyched out by Pidge's presence, she can be a little overwhelming sometimes. He knew she would want to talk about what Hunk thought about her friends, if he liked her swimsuit, stuff like that. Hunk just figured it would be easier to avoid that until he actually arrived at the party.

After about a half hour, Hunk arrives at Allura's house. It's quite literally a mansion compared to the hole in the wall apartment Hunk and his dad live in. Hunk thought Pidge's house was huge but this is... really something else.

Hunk hesitantly approaches the front door but stops as he hears Allura call out to him.

"Hunk, just come around the back!" She says, waving to him from a path off her driveway. Hunk smiles and waves back, following her around the side of the house and into her backyard. The backyard is even bigger than the house. There's a shiny dark brown deck connected to the house, then there's the big underground pool connected to a hot tub, and behind that a nicely decorated and gently forested plot of grass. Theirs a few flowers and veggies growing already, despite them just moving in. Hunk can't help but wonder if Allura grows them or if her parents do.

Hunk pays his attention back to the group of people instead of on Allura's lovely home. Allura is now sitting on the edge of the pool, delicately putting her hair back as her feet dangle in the water. Shiro is in the water in front of her, talking to her and threatening to splash her. Keith is by the snack and drink table, which Hunk quickly drops the stuff he brought there without saying anything to Keith.

Then, Hunk walks over to Pidge and Romelle, who are both laid out of some lawn chairs, seemingly getting some sun. Hunk sits on a similar chair next to Pidge, Romelle on the other side of her. Pidge opens one eye to look over at Hunk, waving at him before closing her eyes again.

"Pidge, did you put sunscreen on?"

"Noooo, Papa Hunk. I did not." Pidge says, lifting her sunglasses up to look at him.

"Let me guess, you brought some even though you never burn because you wanted to make sure I would put some on." Pidge says all of this just as Hunk innocently pulls out a bottle of sunscreen. She sighs, sitting up.

"You sure are something." Pidge says, laughing. "Well, Romelle did have me apply some earlier, but I guess it's time for reapplication."

"Here, I'll help." Hunk offers, squeezing a generous amount on his hand. He waits for Pidge as she moves in her chair and unties the string of her biking wrapped around her neck. Hunk gently lathers the sunscreen all over Pidge, massaging her as he goes. He knows Pidge loves his massages, so why not. Once he's done, he caps the bottle and rubs the excess left on his hand onto his shoulders.

"Thanks, big guy!" Pidge says, standing and tossing her sunglasses on the chair before taking a running dive into the pool. It splashes Allura and Shiro, and she shrieks before being dragged in anyway by Shiro.

"You're supposed to let it dry!" Hunk says, falling upon Pidge's deaf ears. He sighs, putting the sunscreen back in his bag and trying to relax a bit.

"You gonna get in?" Romelle asks, standing up and sitting back down in the chair closest to Hunk, facing him directly.

"Oh well... I don't know." Hunk shrugs, face red as he examines the beautiful girl in front of him. She's wearing a pair of high waisted denim shorts, paired with a t-shirt that's knotted in the front, just barely exposing her apparently pierced belly button. Her long hair is in one braid, with some pieces of her bangs falling and nicely framing her face.

"Yeah, me neither. Swimming isn't really my thing." Romelle shrugs. Hunk perks up at this.

"Why's that?" He asks curiously.

"Well... I'll show you but you have to promise you won't tell anyone?" Romelle says, eyes shy as she looks at Hunk.

"O-of course!" He blurts out. Romelle chuckles, adjusting slightly to lift up her shirt. She's wearing a yellow bikini top that fits her impossibly well.

"I have a lot of stretch marks on my side and stomach. I don't really like them." Romelle mumbles, letting her shirt fall back down.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think you look great!"

"Thanks, Hunk." Romelle smiles at Hunk, leaning back in the chair and looking down at her lap. He doesn't really know how to respond, so he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

"If you go in, I'll go too!" Romelle's head shoots up to look at Hunk, a huge grin on her face. She stands up immediately, grabbing Hunk's hand.

"C'mon then!" She starts trying to pull him up out of the seat.

"Well, I'm going to check out the snack table, maybe get a drink and change the music. You go in without me!" Hunk urges, pulling his hand away.

"Ok, well you better not wimp out on me, I expect you in the pool in a few!" She exclaims, beginning to undress and throw her clothes on her own chair. She then slowly walks in down the stairs, everybody who has been messing around in the pool cheering as she enters. Keith isn't at the snack and drink table anymore so he stands up and heads over there.

Hunk pours himself some of the vodka he brought into a cup, downing half the cup straight. He's gonna need some liquid courage to get into the pool. He turns to the phone face down on the table hooked up to the speaker system in the backyard. It's playing a Wallows song he doesn't really know right now, but Hunk goes ahead and changes it to some Tame Impala.

With the upbeat song playing, Hunk finishes off his drink before walking back to where he was sitting. He stands there contemplating for a second before deciding, fuck it. How is he ever going to make friends if he just sits on the sidelines like some weirdo?

Hunk takes off his shorts, leaving him in his t-shirt and ill-fitting trunks. He makes eye contact with Romelle who shoots him a look of encouragement. He starts walking over to the same stairs Romelle went down. He hugs the rail and the cool water shocks his warm skin.

Suddenly, he feels resistance on his back but walks a bit more down the stairs until he realizes his shirt is being ripped off his body. Clearly, it got caught on a nail protruding from the railing and is now hanging off his arms and exposes his body in a way that shows his stomach, chest, all of it.

Hunk swallows heavily as everyone looks at him one by one, Romelle with a slightly worried look on her face. He figured everyone might start laughing at him or something, but instead the awkward silence grows heavier until he feels forced to say something.

"Hey, Allura."

"Yes, dear."

"Could you help get this sad excuse for a t-shirt off of me?" Allura smiles, wading over to him and pretty much ripping the rest of the shirt open with unexpected strength and pulling it off his arms. She then pulls him into the water, dunking his head under.

Even though you could have heard a pin drop in the silence a couple seconds prior, suddenly everyone has a smile on their face and is laughing with Hunk and having fun with everyone finally splashing around in the pool.

After an epic splash battle and a handstand contest between Shiro and Keith, Hunk has time to think for a second. He steps back a bit, leaning against the side of the pool.

The scars on his stomach were proof that he was alive. And he had survived.

He would never be ashamed of them again.