Chapter 4
"Hey."
"Hi." God, when did this become them? Kara wants the ground to just swallow her up now, they were at the doorstep. Lena had just arrived and Alex--too preoccupied with beating Brainy on some video game--pushed her to go and open the door. So now. here was Kara--facing Lena--with no idea what to say. And then-
"Oi! That Lena?!" Lex's voice breaks her out of trance and then she remembers her manners and stutters for Lena to come in.
Any other time and Lena would have already hugged Kara and looped their arms together as they walked through the hallway and into the living room. But Lena can't do that anymore. It was fucking excruciating how many things she has to remember not to do around Kara anymore.
Such as; Do not fucking lay your head on her shoulder or Do not fucking put on Kara's favorite sweater that is oh -so -inconveniently draped on your fucking bed. And also the occasional; Stop staring at her, idiot.
Lena feels like she had plunged herself into her own version of hell. But then again, she thinks she can endure hell and so much worse if it were all for Kara.
Kara sits on the floor next to Alex. The living room was a mess; mugs with half-drunk coffee in them littered the coffee table, a bunch of empty cookie boxes lay strewn on the floor and an ice cream tub sat happily on Nia's lap. Lena briefly wonders if Eliza was working home late today.
"Hey, Lena!" Nia greeted her and tapped the open space on the couch for her to sit. Lena slowly settled herself, ignoring the seat's close proximity to Kara. If she tips her legs a little closer to the left then Kara's head would be at the perfect position to lean into it. Any other time and Kara would've already done that. Touch Lena, connect any body part of hers to her best friend. It was comforting that way, it was their thing.
If Nia notices the awkwardness and hesitation between Kara and her, she doesn't say. And for that, Lena was grateful.
Lex walks in with 3 bags of chips and he hapzardly throws one at Lena and the other two at Kara.
"Hey, loser. Wasn't sure you were gonna come so I didn't wait."
"Yes and what a good brother you are for leaving me with our Mother."
"Oh, pssh come on, she loves you."
"She made me change shirts twice! Twice, Lex! As if I was going to some gala instead of just meeting with my friends." Lena seethed, it wasn't her fault that Lex knows how to get under her nerves. Lex laughs and she throws some chips at his head in anger.
Kara was twitching in her seat. Any other time and she would've already jumped to Lena's rescue, they would gang up on Lex and Lena would forget her irritation for her mother. But Kara kept quiet this time. Alex seemed to notice and subtly saved Lena for her sister.
"Well, we all know that Lex sucks so that isn't really any surprise, right? Btw, I just killed you, you idiot." Lena snorts as she watches Lex let out a string of expletives as explosions were heard from the video game on the screen. Alex turned to give Lena a wink.
All in all the night was actually going fine. They played a round of Monopoly because Kara wouldn't stop complaining that Alex always just plays boys' video games that are too damn loud and too damn violent and the whole point of Game Night would be obsolete if they just keep playing videogames for the rest of the night.
To which Lex responded with, "It's a game. We're playing a game. On T.V. On Game Night. It's a valid argument. Unhand the controller, Kara."
"No."
And so, here they all were being obliterated by Brainy on Monopoly.
"I am way too sober for this nerd to beat me at Monopoly." Lex announced and in his and Alex's secret language of communication it was agreed to leave the 'kids' and go to the store for a liquor run.
That left Kara, Brainy, Nia and Lena all alone in the living room. Nia tried to make casual conversation about "Meredith and Addison should've just left Derek during the season 2 of Grey's Anatomy." which then sparked a series of debates and now, Lena was fangirling over Christina and she hadn't even noticed that Kara was laughing with her and hitting her leg lightly in laughter.
Lena felt lighter that she had in weeks. When their laughter subsided, they noticed that Nia and Brainy had moved to the kitchen probably to make more popcorn and now, Lena and Kara were all alone.
Lena met Kara's eyes and for a moment it looked like she was finally going to say something, Lena could feel it in her bones. The air suddenly very thick with something unspoken hanging between them. She braced herself for whatever it is that she knew was coming.
"Lena, I-"
But Kara was interrupted because Lena's phone just let out a loud ring from the coffee table and when both their eyes landed on it the I.D caller's name was flashing, "Jillian"
And just like that the moment was broken, Lena immediately grabbed her phone, stood-up and walked out of the living room. Kara sat there, stunned for a moment. What a fool she was for thinking she can finally have a moment with Lena all to herself. What a fool she was to think that Lena would also say something.
She has a girlfriend now, Kara!! Get it inside your head.
Thing is, it is inside Kara's head. It's her heart that's the problem.
"What?" Lena had snapped once she was out of hearing range and had the bathroom door locked.
"Good evening to you too, my dear girlfriend."
"Don't call me that."
"Oh, feisty tonight aren't we? Where are you, anyway? Jack says you haven't been answering his texts."
Lena was so preoccupied tonight, she must've have missed the notifications, no matter, she was just going to read it after the call.
"Why? What do you need?"
"Just come to the lab and you'll see." Jillian had answered sweetly.
Lena let out a sigh, she doesn't want to leave just yet. Kara was going to say something before they got rudely interrupted and she needs to know what it is.
But Jillian was talking again and she can hear her brother and Alex coming in and she just knows that she won't get a chance to be alone with Kara again. So, she takes a breath and puts the phone near her ear again.
"Fine. I'm coming. Give me ten minutes."
When Lena walks back into the living room, everyone was there.
Except Kara.
"Good, you're here. Come on we're getting drunk tonight!"
"Is Eliza not coming home?" Brainy inquired.
"Nah, Mom's working double shifts. Besides y'all will help me clean afterwards, anyway."
There were a series of groans but Lena was ignoring the scene all together as she tried to get her things and her coat. Lex had noticed.
"Whoa, hey, you going somewhere?"
"Yes, I'm sorry I can't stay. There's uh-something came up at the lab." Lena fidgeted with the sleeves of her coat.
"Oh, okay. Too bad you're gonna miss out."
"No, she's not. How many times do we have to tell you that nboody wants to hear your drunken version of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' Lex?" Alex had quipped before adding, "Well, go ahead. Don't let us keep you. Take care, no rest for the genius huh?"
"Hey! I'm the genius in the family." Lex argues and Nia throws a bunch of popcorn his way before booing Lex.
"I have to disagree with that." Lena says before turning back and leaving her friends to their antics. She can't help but wonder where Kara had gone. She didn't even get to say goodbye.
Turns out she didn't have to wonder long because once she had stepped outside she was confronted with the sight of one Kara Danvers wearing Lena's old sweater, hair flowy and smiling widely at her.
"Hey."
"What are you doing outside, Kara?"
"I have to talk to you."
Lena feels her phone buzz continuously in her pocket. She chooses to ignore it and walk down the final steps and jog to where Kara is in the front yard.
"What do you want to talk about?" The cold air was making her shiver. The cold air, not Kara, okay?
Keep telling yourself that, Luthor.
Kara takes a deep breath and wills herself to look at Lena's green, green eyes and tries to get the words out of her lungs.
Now or never.
"I hate this, Lena. This isn't us." She admits and for a second she thinks she might cry. But she takes one look at Lena and Kara knows that Lena knows exactly what she's talking about. She hates it too.
How the both of them doesn't see each other as often as they'd like. How every interaction is punctuated by awkward tension and uneasiness. How she misses the peaceful sleep she only gets when she's in Kara's bed and Kara is wrapped around her and she is far, far away from her mother's clutches. How she misses her best friend everyday and she feels so lost, all because of one stupid kiss three months ago.
Lena feels like she's outside her body and she's watching a scene unfold before her.
Before Kara could continue whatever it is that she was going to say, she finds Lena throwing herself on Kara.
Kara upon instinct, reciprocates the embrace and wraps her arms tight, tight, tight.
It has been too goddamned long.
Once Lena was safely buried in Kara's hair, she starts sobbing uncontrollably and she didn't deem it possible but she feels Kara's arms tighten around her more.
"I'm sorry. God, Kara, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." she sobs and Kara just rubs comforting circles on Lena's back and anchors her.
"Shh, I got you. Stop apologizing it's both our fault, okay? I'm sorry too, you hear me?" Kara pulls away slightly so she can cup Lena's face and wipe the tears with her thumb.
Her eyes are so green.
Her eyes are bright blue right now, Christ help me.
They stare at each other, Lena trying to catch her breath as she feels one of Kara's hand snake to the back of her skull; rubbing the baby hairs on her nape. Lena shivers and Kara doesn't miss the way her cheeks turn a slight shade of red. Lena feels so drawn and calm and she starts to lean in. Kara's eyes so bright like a lighthouse and Lena is a lost ship at sea.
Lena brings one hand to Kara's cheek and strokes softly. Kara also finds herself leaning in. Too intoxicated by Lena's presence to think clearly.
And then their lips meet.
In what Lena would describe as the single, slowest, most passionate kiss of her life.
It was fireworks condensed into one intense feeling. It was Lena's longing and Kara's eagerness. It was a lifetime's worth of yearning for the other. It was perfect.
Kara's breathing hitched as Lena runs her tongue through her bottom lip. And then their tongues were meeting and Lena finds herself praying that her knees wouldn't betray her and give out.
Kara's eyes were shut closed as she savors Lena's taste. Still sweet from the popcorn earlier and a tinge of that cinnamon lip balm she wears when her lips chap.
If this is what Kara gets in exchange for oxygen then she would gladly trade her ability for breathing, right this moment.
But then Lena starts to pull away and Kara chases her lips to peck her lips in a chaste kiss one last time.
Kara watches as Lena slowly opens her eyes and she swears she was going to combust right there the moment she sees how Lena's eyes were blown.
Lena seems to notice the same thing about her, that and the apparent bright blush.
"Kara-" Lena starts to whisper, their face still too close that their breaths are mingling, before Lena can finish what she can say Kara cuts her off.
"No, you don't get to run this time." and then Kara crashes their lips together one more time, Lena lets herself be pulled in.
Yes, no more running away this time around.