Setting Out the Pieces
Ruby was walking through the forest outside Castle Candy. Light trickled through the trees, their trunks casting shadows on the ground and purple energy swirled around her.
Ruby felt the life and energy pulse around her as the forest grew and she couldn't stop the peals of delighted laughter bursting from her as she strolled.
She came to a sudden stop when the standing stones came into view, Lapin's teacup sitting there, steaming with a deep indigo liquid, a chocolate teaspoon stirring it slowly. Her heart clenched and her gut churned as she knew she had to step between them.
The shadows whipped around her. Step… step inside… Mis… Mistress… you need… you need to see.
The purple energy danced passed her and twirled around just outside the standing stones and she felt the golden light gently nudge her forward.
With no other real choice to be had, Ruby stepped forward into the standing stones.
Suddenly, she was surrounded by reflective crystal, as if she'd stepped inside a gemstone. As she looked around, different scenes started to spring to life within the mirrors. Parts of Candia and the Dairy Isles and the Vegetania, a hundred different lives, a hundred different people, briefly flashing up before they were replaced by another.
A flash of minty green caught her eyes and Ruby whirled to face it, her attention pin pointing on.
Every image froze and then changed to reflect the one that Ruby was focused on.
It showed Saccharina, Winterscoop in hand as she talked to Gooey and Swifty both of whom had distinctive Meatlander weapons in their hands.
Ruby recognised this story.
It was as Rina earnt the loyalty of the Frosted Fleet. They would be on the bone island just off the chilli sea for the next few months. Ruby watched as a sausage man burst from behind a skull and Saccharina spun, raised her spoon and sent a lightning bolt at him, burning him to a crisp before he could get within five metres of her.
After a while, the images faded and Ruby was left alone in the dimness of some light emanating from the light blue crystal walls. Suddenly, a familiar, dark blue figure walked towards her from the depths of the crystal. Ruby stepped back sharply at the image of her Aunt Lazuli.
She raised her chin, making herself assume the removed, regal expression she'd mastered in her first few weeks as Saccharina's chief advisor.
She had a lot of… complicated feelings towards Lazuli. Of course, she admired and loved her aunt, but she couldn't help but be just a little bit bitter. Her aunt had allowed Ruby to believe that she would be her champion, knowing that Saccharina surpassed Ruby in every way. She knew it wasn't Lazuli's fault, but Ruby had gotten her hopes up, had thought that she could be a driving force behind bringing Candia's magic back. She had thought that that was her purpose. Accepting her place as a background supporter had been a tough pill to swallow.
She always knew that she would be second to someone, and she had loved being Jet's younger twin, but she had wanted her chance to shine. She had found that in the circus, but she had already indulged herself enough in her past life. This time, she would be content working in the shadows, shining the light on her two, stronger, better sisters.
"Archmage Lazuli," Ruby greeted, giving a textbook perfect curtsy - only then noticing that she was wearing the dark red gown that she had taken to wearing most often in the future.
"Ruby," the tall woman replied. "I did not know what to make of this vision when I foresaw this, many years ago. I did not think that it would come to pass."
Ruby didn't know what to say to that, so she just continued on, "I will bring your legacy back to Candia. I will ensure that she takes her rightful place as heir."
Lazuli frowned. "You are skilled in the arcane arts, just as her. More skilled than you have appeared to be before."
"The mysteries of magic are difficult to grasp." Ruby knew that that comment was petty, but she couldn't help herself. She had made peace with her childish resentment of Saccharina but she had not gotten over the sting of Lazuli's rejection.
Ruby sighed, immediately feeling her gut twist in guilt. "I will make sure that Saccharina arrives at Castle Candy. She will ensure that your dream comes to pass."
Lazuli's face twisted. "Ruby-"
"I know that you cannot tell me much… which is also why Sapphria isn't here, right?"
"You know of Her?"
Ruby swallowed. "Yes. And I want to… I will help free you."
Lazuli paused. "You are hiding many secrets."
Ruby gave her a close-lipped smile.
Lazuli pressed her lips together and nodded. "If you continue down the path you are now, Sapphria may be able to visit you. Maybe even Citrina as well if you continue to use the power of the Bulb."
Ruby frowned. "I haven't devoted myself to one orb."
"But you do draw power from each of them individually, as well as together. That might just be enough of a similarity to summon Citrina."
Ruby nodded, tucking the implications of that statement into the back of her mind for later contemplation.
"I will find a way to get Saccharina to Castle Candy."
Lazuli inclined her head forwards. "I believe you will."
Ruby took a step back starting to glance around for an exit in the chamber.
"Thank you," Lazuli and Ruby glanced back at her.
"Oh," she stammered, unprepared. "Um… you're welcome?"
Lazuli's lips twitched and she glanced down briefly, frowning in thought. Ruby had never known her aunt to be lost for words. Nothing in any of their few interactions of the many, many stories of her ever suggested she would be so uncertain.
Nevertheless, Ruby waited the few seconds it took for her Aunt to find the right wording.
Lazuli took a deep breath and looked Ruby in the eye. "My younger sisters do not get the recognition they deserve, particularly Sapphria. In many ways, she was the most effective of all of us. She had the largest following, her influence spread father than even mine. I know she dabbled in magic much more subtle than mine. The reason she is not talked about much is because she was very good at what she did. She knew how to talk and how to manipulate people to get what she wanted, and her spies were invaluable in the war."
Ruby nodded, feeling something harden inside of her.
But Lazuli wasn't finished yet. "However, for all her games and her mysteries, Sapphria was, perhaps, the most loved within the castle. If you decide to follow in her footsteps, know that you will always be able to fall back on your family."
Ruby stared at her, the back of her throat becoming heavy.
Then, she nodded her head, her voice a reverent whisper. "Thank you, Aunt Lazuli."
"No, thank you, Ruby. I do have a request for you, though."
Ruby looked up at her. "I will fulfill it if I can."
Lazuli swallowed. Her voice was quiet as she asked, "Can you tell your mother that I love her, and that I am so, so sorry. I wish it had not come to that, and I'm even more sorry that I did not prepare her for it. I miss her so much."
Ruby swallowed. "Of course, Aunt. I will tell her… She loves you as well."
"I know," Lazuli whispered. "I wish it did not cause her so much pain."
They were quiet for a few moments before Lazuli straightened and inclined her head forward, a small smirk on her features. "I wish you good fortune in your endeavours. And… may the Bulb shine upon you."
Ruby snorted and Lazuli gave a small laugh as the dark blue woman stepped back and the crystalline mirrors shattered around Ruby.
------
Ruby managed to convince Jet to wait through their lessons instead of dipping out of them.
"I think I can get us a way out of here without risking getting in trouble," she'd whispered to her sister in Twinspeak when Jet looked like she was getting antsy.
About an hour later than they'd usually escape, Ruby stuck her hand up.
Lapin blinked, voice puttering out mid speech. "Erm… yes Princess Ruby? You have a question?"
"If the major reason that the final Ceresian monarch got overthrown was that he had become disconnected with his people, shouldn't Jet and I make a concerted effort to understand our subjects on a more hands-on level."
Lapin nodded. "Of course, Princess. That is a very good insight. I would highly recommend you both learn about your subjects directly."
"Then we should visit Dulcington and talk with some of the workers and dwellers there. I think it would be a good idea if we do it now."
Lapin frowned. "You still have much content to cover Princess…"
"I think a practical lesson would be more suited to this unit, Chancellor."
Lapin opened his mouth but before he could say anything, Ruby messaged him.
"This is important. We need to go down to Dulcington, now."
She felt shock reverberate through Lapin's mind and he furrowed his eyebrows.
"I know your secret, Chancellor. I know about Her."
The reply was cautious. "What could you possibly mean by that?"
"You know, Chancellor. I have seen you at the Standing Stones. Let us go now and I will visit you later and explain everything."
Lapin closed his mouth and paused, giving Ruby a short glare.
"Fine, I will call some guards for you. Perhaps a practical lesson is in order after that particular unit of history."
Jet's eyes widened but Ruby put a hand on her shoulder.
"I think guards would rather defeat the whole purpose of the outing, don't you?"
Lapin glared at her again, but Ruby met his gaze head on.
Finally, he sighed. "If I am asked where you are, I will say that you snuck out again when I allowed you both a toilet break."
Ruby grinned. "We will try and be back before lunch. No one will go looking for us before then."
"I expect you both to accompany me to my afternoon sermon in Dulcington on Bulbsday."
Ruby nodded, and replied serenely. "Of course, Chancellor. We would be delighted."
Lapin narrowed his eyes, but then huffed, "Fine. Be gone with you."
They didn't need to be asked twice, and snuck their way back to their rooms to retrieve their commoner clothes in shocked silence. When they left the castle, Jet burst into giggles, which Ruby quickly matched.
In a flash, they running down the bridge, Ruby trying her hand at balancing across the railing (which she managed with better success than she), whilst also banishing the awful memories that echoed through her mind.
"I don't know what's gotten into you, but I like it," Jet proclaimed with a grin. "I can't believe you talked your way out of lessons."
Ruby laughed. "I didn't know if it would work."
Jet snorted. "That was amazing, Ruby."
Before she could go on, her head whipped around, spying a few large kids slip into a backstreet. "There! That must be where the fights are being held."
Ruby nodded, and followed her twin as she rushed towards the back alley street fights.
Like the last time, Ruby watched from the sidelines as Jet fought her way through the extensive opponents ready to step up to her, thinking that the spoilt kid from the castle would be an easy target. They had been all too happy to let her buy her way in when Jet offered double what everyone else had added to the pool. As Jet cleaned up the opponents, more scrappy and fierce than any other, Ruby got to work.
A few of the local thieves were eyeing her off , the teenagers remembering how they'd stolen from her on her and Jet's outing the week before. However, this time Ruby weaved in and out of the shadows, disappearing from their eyesight and lightly dancing between them, slipping jewellery and coins from their purse. Last time, she'd gotten caught by one of the older pickpockets, and found herself at the wrong end of a lolly shank, the grizzled candied ginger uncaring of Ruby's station. It was only a bit of fast talking on Ruby's part, and Jet's menacing growl that had stopped Ruby from getting stabbed.
This time, Ruby successfully slipped the ornate watch from the man's breast pocket. This time, Ruby pretended to be distracted as she watched Jet's next opponent, a marshmallow with bulging muscles, grin her opponent into the ground. This time it was Ruby, slipping the longest of Sapphria's three daggers (the other two were shorter, less conspicuous and easier to throw), out of her cloak as she grabbed Frostel's hand, which had slipped into one of Ruby's pockets, and setting the knife against her wrist.
The frosting froze.
"Nice try," Ruby complimented, narrowing her eyes.
"My princess… I didn't… ah…" the pickpocket stuttered. "I wouldn't have."
Ruby smiled darkly. "Oh, but you did."
Frostel bowed her head, shaking. "I beg for mercy, your grace. Please don't take my hand… or my life."
Ruby allowed her expression to soften. "Of course not. I wouldn't punish someone for merely surviving."
She released Frostel's hand and sheathed her dagger and the girl snatched her hand back. Ruby reached into her pocket and pulled out the coins that Frostel had been going for, pressing it into her hand.
She bent forward and whispered into her hear, "Next time, don't approach your mark with the light at your back. Your shadow warned me of your approach."
Frostel stared at her, eyes wide as she nodded. The older teen's hands tightened around the coins as a shaky smile spilt across her face.
"I'm sure you will remember this kindness," Ruby murmured, aware that all the other thieves had turned their attention to the interaction, even as the fights continued in front of them. Ruby didn't need to look to know that Jet was winning, the black half of the heart on her chest hummed with Jet's triumph.
Frostel nodded frantically. "Of course, Princess. Forever, Princess."
Ruby smiled. "Brilliant."
She turned and walked away, feeling Frostel follow her without hesitation. She exchanged grins with Jet as her sister pinned the marshmallow to the ground, her knee on his back and led Frostel out of earshot of the spectators, but not out of view of them.
"You travel through Calroum, don't you, Frostel?" she asked.
Frostel nodded, her eyes wide. "Yes, though I do tend to stay in Candia."
"You like to… target quite wealthy people, don't you?"
Frostel frowned anxiously. "I don't take much, Princess, I promise. They don't even notice any of it is missing."
Ruby waved her off. "I am not arguing with your choice of prey, I quite agree with your reasoning."
Frostel's shoulders slumped. "Thank you, Princess."
Ruby raised her chin in a way that made it look like she was gazing down at the girl, even though they were almost the same height. "I'm sure you hear many interesting things in your travels."
"I keep my mouth shut, Princess," Frostel promised, lowering her gaze submissively. "I wouldn't dream of spilling Candia's secrets, and I don't go looking for trouble."
"Of course not, I trust that you have Candia's safety and prosperity in your mind at all times," Ruby appeased. "However, I might be interested in hearing of your exploits."
Ruby withdrew a black sugarglass sending mirror, small enough to fit in the palm of her hand from her pocket, which she'd enchanted last night with a spell she'd found in the purple grimoire she'd taken from Sapphria's crown.
"You will be able to contact me with this, just tap it and whisper a message. I trust that you will tell me of any information you discover that is… pertinent to the preservation and success of Candia."
Frostel stared at the mirror, slowly taking it.
"What sort of… magic is this?"
Ruby smiled at her, commanding light to surround the mirror. "This is not magic… I have been blessed with miracles by the Bulb. And it is the will of the Bulb that Candia prospers. I and now you, have been chosen as tools to bring about that will."
Frostel blinked for a few seconds, hand tightening around the mirror. "Of course, Princess. I am honoured."
She bowed her head and leant forward slightly, looking almost as if she was praying to Ruby.
However, the frosting woman whispered, "You laid it on a bit thick there, Princess. But I am loyal to the Sweetening Path and to Candia. I will do as you command, my princess."
Ruby fought hard to keep the shock of her face. The only reason she knew of Frostel's spy capabilities was because she'd met the woman on the road travelling for the Swirling Sisters. She knew that the girl had been extremely loyal to Candia, but she had not known she was a practitioner of magic.
Ruby reached out for Frostel, cupping the girl's cheek and tipping her head up. She reached for both powers, easily finding the balance, causing energy to fill her body. Suddenly, she could feel everything around her. It wasn't just the shadows and the light, but the life that sparked in every living being and pulsed through every growing thing around them. She let purple spark in her eyes and Frostel grinned.
The light blue frosting stepped back and bowed deeply as she raised her voice so others could hear. "You are too kind, Princess. Thank you for your generosity."
Ruby inclined her head forward and walked back to the group.
The fights had finished, Jet obviously having won the bouts as the other fighters and watchers were surrounding her and cheering. The thieves and more unscrupulous spectators all had their attention focused on Ruby.
Ruby grinned at them.
"I think you guys need to take better care of your things," she told them as she handed back their things, giving each of them an extra gold coin.
Next to her, Jet was sharing the winnings of the fights amongst all the participants.
Their eyes widened as they received their stuff, trinkets stolen from pockets, bracelets taken straight off wrists and even a few rings slipped from fingers.
The ginger candy raised an impressed eyebrow at her. "I didn't think a little brat raised in a castle would have such light fingers."
Ruby raised her chin as she handed him back his watch and a gold coin. "It would be wise to not underestimate us."
The ginger candy snorted. "The name's Gin Snap, Princess."
Ruby smiled winningly. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
Another snort. "Don't expect me to fall over my feet to please you, brat."
Ruby's expression turned sharp in its amusement. "I wouldn't dream of it. Don't expect me to go easy on you in the future just because I know you're too slow to catch me."
Gin eyed her for a few seconds before he nodded. "Fair enough."
-----
After lunch, Ruby made her way down to the chapel, Jet had run off to attempt to convince Theo to give her a combat lesson, so Ruby had a few hours to kill before she was expected at etiquette and courtship lessons with her mother.
As usual for this time of day, Lapin was the only one in the chapel, arranging stacks of the Book of Leaves to hand out at the Bublsday mass, where the wealthier residents of Dulcington and the Castle would attend the morning service.
He glanced up as she entered, his eyes narrowing as he saw her.
"You have a lot of explaining to do, Princess."
Ruby crossed her arms. "I'm not the heretic, Chancellor."
Lapin flinched but ploughed on, "I haven't visited the stones in months. How did you know about them?"
Damn.
Ruby but back a resigned sigh, she'd known that she'd have to play this card sooner than she wanted.
"I saw it in a vision," Ruby claimed.
Lapin frowned. "A vision."
Ruby nodded. "Yes. It's why I know you serve Her. It's why I know she can watch us, and it's why I know you want to be free of her."
Lapin regarded her for a few seconds. "She is not watching now. She doesn't monitor me that often, usually only if her name is said."
"I suspected."
"Is your vision the reason for the sudden change?"
Ruby pursed her lips, staring out the window. "I cannot allow what I saw to come to pass."
Lapin was silent for a while before he stepped towards her. "You said something about freeing me?"
Ruby tilted her head. "How beholden to Her are you?"
Lapin hesitated for only a moment before he answered. "She will not end my commitment quickly. The only way I could be free is if she were to be defeated."
"And what of your powers?"
"She only opened my connection to magic, when I previously would not have been able to access it. Her… disposal would not undo that."
"Are you sure?"
Lapin nodded. "I am certain. My magic is purely of the Sweetening Path, I have had to research to grow it. She is merely a spirit of that type of magic."
Ruby stared at him for a few seconds, but neither the light, nor the shadows whispered of his deception.
"Alright, then I think we can strike an accord."
Lapin raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"
Ruby held her hands out, scooping a ball of light out of the sunbeam shining through the window, and allowing a shadow from the corner of the room to play across her free arm. She closed her eyes, and purple, sugary energy began to dance around her in swirls and sparks.
Lapin's eyes widened before he was surging forward, grabbing her wrists and disrupting her concentration, and causing the light and the purple energy to sputter out.
"You must not be so obvious, Princess," he hissed. "Anyone could see."
Ruby looked around. "We are alone."
Lapin gave her a flat look.
Ruby sighed and dismissed her shadow after allowing it to caress her cheek. You need not worry, you are alone, Mistress.
"Besides," she said, summoning a golden glow around herself. "I think that you will find a large portion of my magic is distinctly holy."
Lapin narrowed his eyes at her. "You are more of an apostate than I am."
"Not so. I have read the Book of Leaves."
"When would you have done that?"
Ruby smirked. "There is a lot you don't know about me, Chancellor."
She had found time in the future. The Book was, in fact, mostly good. It preached kindness and honour. Too bad the more… metaphorical stories of purity and light could be twisted so easily. Especially when a great majority of the population would never be literate enough to read the book fully.
"Yes," Lapin agreed, pursing his lips. "I'm beginning to see that."
Ruby increased the intensity of her glow. "So do you think that this will provide enough cover for us?"
"Us? What would we be doing?"
"Why protecting Candia and its magic from those who would seek to squash us, of course. I'm sure you're not unaware of the more… radical parts of the Church."
Lapin's frowned. Silence filled the room.
"You will need to ease into it."
Ruby grinned. "I thought so as well. But I will not be swearing any oaths to the Church. At least none more than I would as a princess."
Lapin nodded in agreement. "You won't need to. It would be a bit… tacky to go as far as your aunt did. Not to mention disrespectful."
Ruby nodded. "I agree. She was the real thing. She does not deserve a heretic mocking her memory more than I will have to."
Lapin raised his eyebrows. "You may not be as completely devoted to the letter of the Book as your aunt was, but your light is purely of the Bulb. You are not mocking her memory… more reimagining it, if I may go so far."
Ruby pressed her lips together, mulling over the thought. After a few moments, she decided to tuck it away for later contemplation.
"I have much to do," she finally announced, before she stuck out her hand. "Do we have an accord."
The Chancellor took her hand and shook it. "We do."
He pulled back, a small smile pulling at his lips. "I may even go so far as saying that I am intrigued at the prospect of working with you."
Ruby inclined her head forward. "Thank you, Chancellor. I look forward to becoming your faithful pupil."
The Chancellor's smile widened a fraction before he bowed. "I hope for a successful alliance."
"As do I."
----
That night, Ruby knocked on the door to her parents room, something she hadn't done since she was ten years old and both she and Jet had had a nightmare that had made the shadows in their room look like monsters.
Her mother beckoned her in, but stilled at the sight of her.
"Ruby?" she asked. "What do you need?"
"I need to talk with you," Ruby announced, glancing obviously between her mother and father. "The both of you."
Her mother frowned and sat down on the other side of the long couch that her father was seated on as he polished Payment Day.
"What is it?" she asked in concern as her father looked up at her, worry flitting across his features.
Ruby felt her gut churning. The next few minutes would make or break everything. The future of her family, the future of Candia, relied on her skills in persuasion.
"I have been seeing… things, in my sleep," Ruby started off. "True things."
Both her father and mother immediately shifted forwards slightly.
"What things?" her dad asked.
"A lot of things. A lot," Ruby replied. "Just, please be quiet until I've finished. Can you promise me that?"
"Of course," her father said quickly whilst her mother nodded slowly.
Ruby took a deep breath. "I know that you are not dad's first wife, Mum. And I know that Catherine Ghee died before you and mum were married. I also know that she had a daughter that she did not inform Candia about. And that that daughter is the true heir to the throne."
There was a sharp intake of breath from her mother, who stared at Ruby for a few seconds before whipping her head around to glare at her husband.
"Is this true?"
Ruby's dad stammered for a few seconds before he found his voice. "Wha - Cather - I have another daughter?"
Ruby nodded. "I saw her in a dream. She is a powerful sorceress. Even more powerful than Aunt Lazuli."
Her mother stiffened at the comparison.
Ruby looked at her. "We have to bring her here. She deserves a home and a family that loves her."
She took a step forward. "She could bring about Lazuli's dreams. And much more. She already has a host of loyal followers. She will be a good ruler. Especially under your guidance."
Her mother frowned.
Ruby knelt down and held her hands. "Please, Mum. She is good but she is powerful and she needs guidance. She would be a better ruler than either Jet or I."
Her mother brought her hand up to cup Ruby's face. "You both could be good rulers. You could be a great queen."
Ruby smiled. "It is not my place, mother. Besides, I was never meant for the limelight."
Her mum pressed her lips together. "That is not true."
"Lazuli loves her," Ruby replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "She told me so."
Her mother's grip tightened around Ruby's hands. "You saw Zule?"
Ruby nodded. "She said that she loves you, and that she misses you. And that she's sorry. She wished there was another way and that she could have warned you of her fate."
Her mum's eyes misted and a single tear fell down her cheek.
Then, she blinked and took a deep breath before she straightened, assuming her queenly mask. "Then there is no other choice. We must find this girl this…"
"Saccharina Frostwhip and she is twenty years old."
Her mother nodded. "Do you know where she is?"
Ruby frowned. "She is somewhere on the northern outskirts of the Meatlands I could lead us there by boat, but I don't think I could show you the way on the map."
Her mum stared at her for a few seconds, pursing her lips, before she leant back. "I cannot allow you to go and not your sister. And I am sure that your father will be on the expedition, right?"
Ruby's father shook himself from his thoughts. "What? Oh, yes of course."
Ruby knew that she had not been kind to him just now, but she also knew that this is what had to be done. Her mother had been right in saying that delaying important conversations had been her father's cardinal sin. This had needed to be done now, in front of both of them, and she had needed to lay down all the information. For Candia. For Rina.
Her mother turned back to her. "I will stay here and manage the realm, and get the castle ready for our new guests. I'm sure your… sister's people will not want to be parted from her. And I do not think you will be back I will be back by the time your cousin arrives from the Mountains. I will be sending Sir Theobald and Chancellor Lapin with you. Just because neither of you are going to inherit, and you are on a trip, does not mean that I will allow you to ignore your studies, and neither will I allow you to go unprotected. I trust Sir Theobald to drill you both in your courtly manners. His studies as a knight have given him enough knowledge to take over your studies in that department."
Ruby smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Her mother narrowed her eyes at her before she drew back. "Off with you. Go tell your sister the news. I'm sure it will have her bouncing off walls."
Ruby jumped to her feet. "Goodnight Mum. Goodnight Dad."
------
Jet was waiting on Ruby's bed when she entered the room.
"Are you ready to tell me yet?" Jet asked.
Ruby swallowed but nodded, getting onto the bed beside her and sitting so that they were cross-legged, facing each other, their knees pressed together.
"The last two nights I've had visions."
Jet perked up. "Visions? Like Aunt Lazuli?"
Ruby shrugged. "Sought of."
Jet frowned. "They were bad, weren't they."
"Not all of them. But the bad parts," Ruby said, pressing her eyes together and feeling her throat start to become heavy. "They were really really bad."
Jet was quiet for a few moments before she reached out and took Ruby's hand, pressing it to her heart. "You don't have to tell me. I can tell it's not for me to hear."
Ruby looked up at her. "There's some stuff I can tell you."
Jet tilted her head. "Like what?"
"We have another sister. And she's the coolest person ever."
"What?"