Caught in a Trap
“What the hell did I tell you? These woods are dangerous!”
“Leslie I’m so sorry, but I can’t even look down right now, I might throw up.”
“You might throw up, Andy? How the hell do you think I feel?!”
***
Leslie and Andy had been on one of Leslie’s wilderness surveillance missions. She had taken on a lot of extra work now she was on City Council, and one of them involved cleaning up the nature in Pawnee.
After getting a call from a concerned citizen about potential hazardous materials in the woods behind Ramsett Park Lake, Leslie and Andy had decided to go out and have a look. Andy had begged her to do something with him today because he was "totally bored and might also die" without his wife. Ben had his own Sweetums emergency, as he called it, before telling Leslie in a deadpan tone that that probably just meant that Jessica had some problem in the office that needed his attention.
Either way, they had both been up early, and that meant breakfast waffles to get them in the mood for “a day of sunshine and community service.”
At 9:00am, Leslie said goodbye to Ben and drove to Andy’s house. She was expecting to have to go in there with a spray bottle and wake him up but Andy was, surprisingly, up early.
“I haven’t been to bed yet,” Andy explained with a grin. “I… I don’t know why. Maybe it was all the red bull and playing Halo all night.”
“You really thrive when April has to visit her grandparents, huh.”
“Yeah!"
"Remind me again why you're not with her?"
"She forbade me from coming with her because last time I broke some old vase and nearly gave her grandpa a heart attack. So, I’m really glad you called, Leslie! It’s gonna be fun!”
Andy hopped into the passenger seat, spilling the pile of documents Leslie had left resting on the dashboard, and Leslie wondered why she hadn’t asked somebody else.
By the time they got to the park, Leslie was having fun again. She liked Andy- he was a good friend, and he had the right amount of goofball energy that kept her happy when she just wanted to be snuggled down with Ben.
“That cloud looks like a doughnut. And that one looks like steak. Man, I’m hungry.”
“Alright, well, we can eat once we’ve looked at these woods. We need to be careful, okay? The complaint said that there were broken bottles and other hazardous materials in here, so I need you to keep a sharp eye.”
Andy nodded, yawning. “I’ll be as sharp as I can. Man, I’m tired.”
Leslie could sense an imminent calamity. “Okay, why don’t you stand here on the path while I go through the bushes with this rod and push the foliage back- Andy, are you listening?”
“Leslie! Look at that, it’s some metal thing on the floor!”
Andy ran over to it, and Leslie was hurrying to stop him when there was a loud clang, making them both jump in surprise.
Leslie felt a grip on her foot that was incredibly strong, and then a wave of pain hit.
“Oh god,” she said loudly. “Crap on a cracker."
She didn't want to look down, but she forced herself to, and her face paled.
"Oh god, Andy. My foot- my foot is stuck in a bear trap.”
Andy’s eyes were on stalks, and then he was grabbing his hair, stressed.
“Leslie! Holy sh- oh man, what do we do? Are you okay?!”
“My foot is caught in a bear trap, Andy! What were you even running for, anyway?”
Andy quickly checked. “It was just a shiny soda can. But wow, the edges on that are sharp. Soda cans shouldn’t be tossed on the floor- and that's why they’re a health hazard.”
Leslie felt like she wanted to rip her hair out.
“What the hell did I tell you? These woods are dangerous!”
“Leslie I’m so sorry, but also I can’t even look down right now, I might throw up.”
“You might throw up, Andy? How the hell do you think I feel?!”
The pain was intense, and Leslie was wobbling trying to stand stood up straight. If she fell over, she would have even more problems to deal with.
“Andy,” Leslie said calmly. “Listen to me. I can wiggle my toes, which is a good thing. But we need to find a way out of this.”
“We need Ron!” Andy exclaimed loudly. “He’s a wilderness master!”
“Okay,” Leslie said quickly. “Okay, good idea. Call Ron.”
Andy found his cell phone quickly, and Leslie was glad that he was finally doing something useful. After a few seconds, Andy was yelling down the phone.
“Ron! Ron! I know you say I shouldn’t call you, but this is an emergency!” He was listening intently, until he put the phone on loudspeaker. "He keeps complaining, Leslie, you talk to him."
“Ron!” Leslie yelled. “I need your help!”
“Leslie?" Ron asked. "What’s going on?”
“Ron,” Leslie said, wincing in pain. “Ah- shit. My foot is caught in a bear trap. I can still feel my foot, but I don’t know what to do.”
“Neither do I!” Andy cut in, and Leslie gave him a look.
“Ron, what do we do?!” She wobbled again, and Andy was quickly grabbing her arm to keep her upright. He was strong, keeping her in place, and she gave him a soft smile.
“Andy,” Ron said slowly. “I need you to help Leslie sit on the ground. Leslie, once you’re on the floor, you need to bend your leg slightly. Okay?”
Ron’s voice was calm, and that made Leslie feel a little bit better. Andy helped slowly lower her to the floor. She winced again, and she could tell Andy was anxious, so she gave him another smile.
“Thanks, Andy. Okay Ron, what now?”
"Yeah Ron," Andy said. "What do I do to help Leslie?"
“Son, listen to me carefully,” Ron said slowly. “You need to place your hands on each of the springs. This will compress them, and Leslie should be able to extract her leg.”
“I only understood about half of the words you just said but I think I know what I’m going,” Andy said quickly. Leslie had to believe he knew what he was doing, even though she wished the fate of her foot wasn’t in the hands of a man who once dropped every single hot dog at a campaign picnic.
Before he did anything, however, Andy squeezed Leslie’s shoulder.
“Everything’s gonna be fine,” he told her calmly. “I won’t let you down, Leslie.”
Leslie looked at him, surprised at his solemn nature.
“I- I know.”
Andy pressed down on the springs, and Leslie felt the pressure on her foot lessen slightly. Taking that as a good sign, she looked at Andy, who nodded, and she was able to pull her foot out of the trap, letting out a sharp hiss of pain. When she was finally free, she shuffled back a pace or two.
“Oh thank god,” Leslie moaned. “Ow, this really hurts.”
“Are you free?” Ron asked over the phone.
“I’m free.”
“Okay Andy, now slowly let go of the springs.”
Andy let go of the springs, and the trap clamped shut again.
Thank you, Ron.” Leslie said into the phone. Then she looked at Andy, smiling. “And thanks to you too, Andy. You rescued my foot.”
“I’m sorry it was sort of my fault,” Andy said softly, hanging his head in shame.
“Well, you can drive me to the hospital, and we’ll call it even,” Leslie said with a smile.
“Do you need my assistance any further?” Ron asked, and Leslie had to roll her eyes fondly.
“No, Ron. You can go.”
“Excellent.”
Leslie hung up the phone and sat there, a little stunned. She slowly peeled down her sock and saw a shock of purple bruising. Leslie and Andy looked at each other, both of them grimacing. Then Leslie looked at the bear trap. It was sort of terrifying, the way it glinted in the light. She was sort of glad she (quite literally) put her foot in it, because if anyone else did, god forbid a child, Leslie would feel like she totally failed as a member of the council. Andy looked at her.
"Are you okay, boss?"
“I’ll call the rangers to come and take care of this,” Leslie said after a second.
She gasped in surprise when Andy picked her up.
“You can call on the way back to the car,” he explained loudly. “We need to take you to the foot doctors.”
Andy looked really concerned, and Leslie smiled slightly.
“Okay, Andy. We’ll go now.”
***
When they arrived, Andy ran off to get a wheelchair. That was when Leslie got a text from Ben asking her what she wanted for dinner, and she realised with a jolt that she hadn’t told her husband what had happened.
She called him up, and Ben answered with a cheery hello after only a few rings.
“Hey babe,” Ben said before she could talk. “God, I’m swamped in work. Things are totally crazy here. How’s it going with you?”
“Not much,” Leslie said breathlessly. “I’m in ER.”
“What?! What happened?”
“Ha, funny story, actually. Do you know the Elvis song Caught in a Trap?”
“Leslie.”
“Okay, we were in the woods and I was trying to stop Andy running into the bushes and long story short, I got my foot stuck in a bear trap."
“Oh my god, are you okay?!”
“Yeah, I think so. It’s pretty bruised and swollen but nothing was broken or anything.”
“That must have been terrifying, babe! I’ll leave work and come meet you.”
Leslie considered. Ben was probably scared for her, but he had a lot going on in work, and he had only just gotten the job.
“No, honey, I think I’m okay. I’ve got Andy here, he can drive me home afterwards,” Leslie told him. “I’m honestly okay, just in a bit of pain.”
“Okay,” Ben replied, sceptically. “Keep me updated, okay?”
“I will. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
***
Ann hadn’t expected to see Andy Dwyer of all people sprinting into ER at eleven am on a Saturday morning. Her first thought was that he had done something stupid, but April wasn’t with him, and that filled Ann with worry.
“Andy?” Ann asked, surprised. “Why are you here? Is April okay?”
“Oh! Ann!” Andy practically yelled, panting heavily. “I ran in here. I need a wheelchair.”
“You do?” Ann asked, frowning. “Why, what's going on?”
“Leslie is with me. She got her foot stuck in a bear trap. It was huge! And it had these giant clampy things, and the only reason she got it stuck is because she was trying to stop me going into the bushes, because I saw this shiny soda can-”
Ann had stopped listening after “clampy things,” she had just started running out into the parking lot, grabbing a wheelchair as she went. Andy was next to her, spewing a load of information at her, but she just wanted to make sure Leslie was okay.
She was relieved to see Leslie perched on the passenger seat of her car with the door open, patiently waiting for somebody to come and assist her. When she saw Andy and Ann running round the corner, her eyes lit up.
“Ann! My beautiful, kind starfish!”
“Leslie!” Ann replied, dismayed. “Are you okay?”
“I think so,” Leslie said, grimacing as Ann helped her into the wheelchair. “It’s about as much as I expected, being a public servant.”
“Let’s get this looked at, okay?” Ann said, her gentle voice putting Leslie at ease.
“Yes please,” Leslie replied.
Andy had been rummaging in his pockets. “Leslie, I found a dollar, I’m going to buy you a candy bar from the vending machine! You said you were hungry.”
"That was you, Andy."
"Oh. Well I'll get you one anyway."
***
Leslie was alright. She had some heavy bruising, and she would need crutches for the next few days, and painkillers, but given the situation, she considered herself lucky.
She phoned Ben to tell him she was on the way home, and Ben told her he was leaving work and would stop off at JJ’s on the way back.
“I love you so much,” Leslie told him, before ending the call and turning to Ann, who pulled her in for a soft hug.
“I’ll come over after my shift,” Ann promised, squeezing her tightly.
“Thank you, beautiful Ann.”
“That must have been scary,” Ann told her when she finally released her. Leslie shrugged.
“It wasn’t so bad. Ron was really calm, and I had Andy with me. He really helped.”
Andy looked up from where he had been messing with a rubber band he found on the floor.
“I did?” Andy asked. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Leslie said with a laugh. “It was your idea to call Ron; you got my foot free. And you bought me a candy bar! You were just the person I needed.”
“I thought that would be Ron,” Andy replied, confused.
“Well, yeah,” Leslie said slowly. “But I’m glad you were there too.”
Andy and Leslie smiled at each other.
***
When Leslie got home, Ben was there with the waffles, as promised. His anxious face made Leslie’s heart swell with love, and she hobbled over to him and planted a kiss on his lips. They hugged, and Ben held her until she decided to let go. A sweet gesture he always did- he didn't know how long she wanted to hug for- how long she needed it- so he let her decide every time.
“Honey, how are you doing?” Ben asked. “Are you okay?”
“I am,” Leslie promised. “How was work?”
“Absolutely fine,” Ben told her.
“Good! Ann is coming over later, and Andy said he’s going to stay for a while too. Can we chill?”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “You? Chill?”
“Yeah,” she replied with a happy sigh. “I just want to chill out.”
“I’m glad you said that, because you are not leaving the couch for the next day and a half,” Ben told her. “I’ve got all your favourite snacks prepared, and we’ve got ten movies to choose from.”
“Oh! Yay!”
“Also, Ron is here. He’s fixing our living room lamp.”
Leslie’s eyes lit up, and Ben helped her move into the living room, where Ron gave her a friendly nod. Ben saw him relax slightly- Ron had been tense until he heard Leslie come through the door- and had to laugh to himself. Ron loved Leslie.
“Knope. Still in one piece, I see.”
“Yes, thanks to you and Andy.” Ben helped Leslie ease down onto the sofa, and she smiled at him. “Thanks, babe.”
Ben sat down next to her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“Not your fault,” Leslie replied instantly. “You’re here now. Besides, I had Ron on the phone, Andy got me out, Ann was my beautiful nurse… I am very lucky.”
Ben smiled widely, and even Ron’s lips quirked up a little. Andy, on the other hand, lay out across one of the sofas, and started snoring loudly.
“Oh yeah, he was up all night drinking red bull. He also tried to grab a shiny soda can in the bushes.”
Ron rolled his eyes. “Unsurprising.”
“But he got me out!” Leslie said with a grin. "He was wonderful."
Her phone went off, and it was Ann saying that she was on her way. Ben had his arm wrapped around her, Andy was happily sleeping, and Ron was now varnishing their mantlepiece.
Sure, her foot was bruised but, other than that, life was good.