the days in between (the madness of life)

There were many perks to being Unit Chief, something Emily Prentiss noticed fairly early on in her tenure. The large office space, the power to declare days off after arduous cases, the (quite substantial) pay rise. However, with the benefits, came the corresponding disadvantages; the stress of ensuring the team’s safety, dealing with the higher-ups, and the seemingly never ending pile of goddamn paperwork.

She had just finished on her fifth case file of the afternoon, when she looked up from her desk for the first time in what felt like years. There was a cramp in her right hand and pen stains on all of her fingers, but her eyes brightened despite all of that. The rain had finally stopped pouring down outside, meaning that maybe Rossi’s dinner could actually take place outside this evening.

Her musings took on a different form, then. A more… hypothetical one.

There was a tangible feel of change in the air. It was almost like she was on the penultimate chapter of a book, but instead of being despairing about the ending, she was enjoying the epilogue. Rumours were beginning to float around, that Rossi may retire (again) soon, to devote more time to his new (former ex) wife. There were talks of job offers for Garcia, JJ, and for herself, different positions, different companies, although Emily didn’t want to think about that right now. For now, everyone was still working at the BAU, together, and she was determined to relish what time she had left with the whole team before things begin to change.

Laughter from down in the bullpen piques her interest, and almost as if her legs had a mind of her own, she found herself walking towards the west office window, overlooking the main area. Peeking through the blinds for a better look, she gazed down at her team members, all assembled together.

Luke and Matt were arguing about something, for the life of her she couldn’t guess what, but it had JJ and Spencer in peals of laughter watching them. Luke had actually stood up off his chair, hands flying this way and that in quite a Reid-esque manner, obviously trying (and, by the amused look on Matt’s face, failing) to get his point across. After their recent kidnapping scare, the two were closer; their brotherly relationship solidifying and strengthening. Emily smirks: little does Alvez know that he’ll soon be roped into babysitting duties for Matt and Kirsty.

Penelope interrupts the scene just then, skipping down the stairs and making a bee-line to JJ’s desk, Tara hot on her heels. In Tara’s hands Emily can spy several bags of mini-pretzels, the gorgeous salty brand from the local vender down the street. Garcia’s boisterous voice does manage to carry up to Emily’s office, and she can hear her demand that JJ take the first bag, since she won the cards tournament last week. (Reid had been away lecturing, as he’s quick to remind the team, and Emily smiles at the predictability of such an interaction).

Rossi had obviously heard the commotion and was making his way quickly down to the team, eager to swipe one of the bags before they’re all gone. He’s then unwittingly dragged into Luke and Matt’s dispute, although he seems more interested in looking at pictures of Tara’s new car that she’s showing him.

It feels familiar. It feels like home.

The teasing, the light-hearted arguments, the shared food and memories. JJ is perched on Spencer’s desk and he in turn is sitting cross legged in his chair, spinning back and forth slightly. Penelope rests her head on JJ’s shoulder from where she’s situated beside her, across from Matt and Tara, who have their legs propped up on spare seats. Luke is standing in front of Rossi’s chair, trying to convince him to side against Matt.

God, Emily thinks. How lucky we all are.

To have the kind of support network they have, the strength of their bonds, the comfortable familiarity. Emily almost finds herself tearing up. The world so often tries to tear them down, but always, always fails. They are stronger together.

She thinks of Matt, Luke, and Tara. Newer additions to their makeshift family, but no less important. She thinks as well, to those who have left them throughout the years. From those who were only there for a short while, and those whose memory endures that bit longer. She thinks of Seaver, Callahan, Blake. Gideon, Hotch and Morgan. She thinks of the ghost of Elle, alive but haunting the bullpen when she joined.

Emily remembers fondly when Rossi first arrived, and the feeling of pure relief when she realised she was no longer the ‘newbie’. Although it was a return to the BAU for him, it was a new era he was stumbling in to; one that he, at first, rejected. But now, as he reaches over to give Penelope a kiss on the cheek, she knows that he’d be the first one to organise a team dinner, or a get-together at O’Keefe’s. Emily smiles as Garcia pecks a kiss right back on Rossi’s cheek, leaving a hot-pink lipstick stain.

When Emily first met her, Penelope Garcia was like an explosion of colour personified. Emily had immediately liked her, but secretly wondered what the hell someone like her was doing in the FBI. She flinched at blood, cried at the drop of a hat, and seemed to spend more time flirting with Morgan than doing anything else. Now, a decade and a half later, Emily is beyond proud to call her one of her closest and most valued friends. This incredible woman, who has gone above and beyond throughout the years to protect her friends, who has remained loyal and true to herself even as life got hard and was never without a smile. Said smile was currently directed at Reid, who seemed to be talking to Penelope at a million miles an hour about a subject that Emily can only guess is Sci-Fi related.

Spencer’s rambles are like music to Emily’s ears, due heavily in part to how often life threatened to rid her off his excited, passionate words. The drugs left his words sharp and cruel, Gideon’s departure made them unsure. Maeve’s death turned them small and broken, and prison gave an edge to them that broke her heart. But through each obstacle he encountered, he managed to bring his words back, bright and loving and so very, very ‘Reid’. His hands move rapidly, joyfully, as he speaks about constellations or biochemistry or Star Trek or medieval poetry. It warms her heart, even if she occasionally has to zone out because the information overload it just too extreme. Emily remembers first stepping into the BAU in 2006 and thinking that he was a college student here on a tour. He was painfully young, heartbreakingly innocent, extraordinarily kind. Life has stripped him of his innocence, and (as life does to everyone), his youth. His greatest asset, though, was not his many PhDs or eidetic memory, but his incredible capacity for kindness, for empathy. And try as life might, it has not stripped him of that. Emily knows this, because of his wide grin as he fawns over new pictures of little Michael that JJ is showing him on her phone.

JJ.

Emily was no longer shy in admitting to herself that she once harboured a small (absolutely ginormous) crush (desperate love) for SSA Jennifer Jareau. Her blonde hair which shined so prettily in sunlight, and her blue eyes which simultaneously held entire oceans and the whole sky. She had worried, back in the early days, if she would be able to maintain any form of friendship with JJ, especially after she and Will made things official. But now, 14 years, two continents, a death and a resurrection later, JJ remains beside her in her life, and Emily often wonders what her younger self could possibly have been thinking, when she wondered if they would fall apart. What JJ and Emily shared was stronger than that, and their long years of friendship was testament to it. When Emily thinks of JJ, she envisions blackbirds flying in clear, bright skies. She hears a little boy’s giggling laughter, and feels strong arms wrap around her in a comforting hug, making her feel safe, and loved. JJ will be Unit Chief someday, Emily is sure of it. She’s not certain what the circumstances will be yet, but she knows it will happen. The BAU needs JJ like a body needs its heart, and Emily knows that JJ will rise to that challenge.

Unit Chief of the Behavioural Analysis Unit. Emily likes to think that she’s done a good job. Hell, if she’s being honest, she knows she has. She’s damn proud of what she and her team have accomplished, and she likes to think that wherever in the US he is, Hotch would be proud of her too.

Deciding that she’s spent far too long being an emotional, nostalgic mess in her office, Emily heads down to the main bullpen, calling out to announce her imminent arrival.

“Garcia, if there aren’t any pretzels left I’m firing you.”

“HA! Here is your specially reserved packet, O Holy and Gracious Leader.”

Opting against trying to profile whatever the hell goes on in Garcia’s head, Emily plops herself down on a desk beside Tara, glaring at her when the other woman immediately reached over and stole a pretzel.

“Lewis, I’ll fire you as well.”

Tara raised a singular eyebrow. “The unit’s getting smaller and smaller, Prentiss.”

Emily sighed dramatically. “I call dibs on keeping Reid and Simmons. Boy Wonder for the brains and Matt for his looks.”

“Emily, you’re a lesbian.”

“And Matt Simmons is objectively hot. I’m gay, not bind.”

And then they’re laughing, and talking about Matt’s new haircut, which segues into a discussion on Garcia’s red hair phase, Spencer’s long hair phase, and JJ’s bob and bangs look. Memories are being traded and new ones are being made, right here as Emily munches on her mini-pretzels.

“Garcia, do you have any poker pretzels?” Reid asks suddenly, as he notices the clock is nearing three, meaning that they only have a couple hours to play cards with pretzels for poker chips before the workday’s end. Because they are professional FBI agents who are utterly devoted to their work (and their bi-weekly, insanely competitive poker tournaments).

“Poker pretzels at the ready, 187!”

They play until the afternoon falls into the evening time, and the rain thankfully stays away, so that when they leave at 5pm (with Reid carrying 7 packets of pretzels), they know they’ll see each other in Rossi’s back garden at 8 for dinner. They’ll have his posh wine, and his gorgeous food, and they will chatter and laugh the evening away once again.

Emily loves these days with her family. Home in Quantico, home with them.

These precious days, in between the madness of life.