Penelope Garcia; 2012
Girls’ nights began in around 2007. At first, they were small, infrequent get-togethers; a way to get to know Emily, who was new, and to mourn Elle’s departure.
As Penelope Garcia sat upside down in her armchair, drinking a fruity cocktail through a looped straw, watching JJ and Emily compete against each other in Just Dance 4 while simultaneously taking gin shots, she realised Girls’ Night may have spiralled a tiny bit out of control.
She couldn’t even be mad about it though. Firstly, because she was having so much fun, but secondly (and far more importantly) because it was the first Girl’s Night since Emily’s resurrection. It had been nearly five months, and Penelope still had to pinch herself sometimes when Prentiss walked into a room or called her during a case. It still felt so surreal, to have this incredible woman alive and back home.
“That’s so unfair!” she hears Emily cry, as JJ wins her seventh dance battle in a row. Penelope wants to input that it is totally fair since Emily spent the entire second half of the last round collapsed on the floor and moving nothing but the Wii remote, but the alcohol seems to have temporarily removed her ability to speak coherently, so she settles for booing, instead.
That prompts Emily to march over to Penelope, flop on the sofa beside her, and drape half her upper body on the other woman’s legs. JJ soon followed, and then the three of them were huddled precariously on the small sofa and armchair, giggling at everything and nothing.
“What time is it? JJ asked, words slightly slurring together.
“Almost 3 am, I think.” Emily answered, after grabbing Penelope’s arm and twisting it towards her so she could see her watch. “Hey, JJ, what time were you supposed to relieve Reid of Henry duties?”
JJ shrugged nonchalantly, “Not until midnight.”
Emily and Penelope turned to look at each other with perfect cartoon expressions of amused shock.
“Jayje, honey, I don’t know how to break this to you, but 3 am is actually later than midnight.”
JJ sat up from her slouched position, eyebrows furrowed in barely concealed confusion. Her eyes then widened, the other women’s laughter was drowned out by JJ’s loud “Oh, FUCK.”
“This is all your fault, Em!” she continued. “You know how competitive I get! I didn’t even notice what time it was.”
“Oh Reid will be fine. I’m sure Henry’s asleep and he’s watching some obscure documentary on fucking... the Pythagoras Theorem or something. Maths!”
Emily’s drunken reassurances did little to calm JJ’s mind.
“And Hotch’s triathlon is tomorrow! I can’t believe I let you both talk me into this.”
“It was your idea.”
“Garcia, quick suggestion? Shut up.”
Penelope’s bark of laughter preceded the sound of JJ tripping over an empty beer bottle and landing flat on her back. Emily began laughing like a hyena and JJ’s grumpy face reminded Penelope of Henry in the middle of a tantrum. It was moments like these she treasured. Stupid, giggling moments with her family.
“We’re all disasters. I love us.”
That seemed to brighten JJ’s expression, and she eagerly turned her head to face Penelope. “Remember that time Morgan got so drunk he tried to hit on a mannequin?”
Emily’s eyes lit up in glee as Penelope giggled and recalled the memory. It was a cold November day in some backwards town in the middle of Ohio in early ’05. It was one of the few cases that she was required to tag along during. The sight of an absolutely hammered Morgan, asking the figurine for her number with the grace of a dolphin on roller skates was one of her most treasured memories. They had been celebrating closing a serial arsonist case if she remembers correctly.
“That’s incredible. Where was I?”
JJ stretched her neck so she could see Emily. “It was before you joined the team. Before Elle left, actually.”
The room got quieter after her last sentence. Penelope remembered the last few weeks before Elle quit. It was obvious that she was struggling, but no one knew how to help, or what to say. As Penelope looks around her living room now, gazing at these two incredible women, and everything the three of them have been through, she can’t help but feel guilty. Maybe if her and JJ made more of an effort back when Elle was struggling she wouldn’t have had to leave the way she did.
They were all so young back then. Too young and naïve for the job that had to be done.
They have grown into it, though.
“God, I haven’t thought about Elle in years.” JJ mumbled, thoughts obviously going down the same road as Penelope’s.
“What was she like?” Emily asked, sitting up straight.
JJ and Penelope raised their eyebrows in slight surprise. It took Emily years to not feel like a total outsider in the team, living in the shadow of Elle for the first few months she was there.
“She was a total badass.” JJ started, grinning slightly. “Took no shit from anyone.”
“If you were a male cop and you so much as looked at a witness or victim the wrong way, Elle would be on them faster than lightning. If any man looked at her the wrong way, she’d drop kick them into next week.” Penelope continued, recalling the many occasions this had happened.
“She was also real private. I worked with her for nearly two years and I didn’t learn much of anything about her.” JJ added. “That also made her incredibly loyal. She didn’t let anyone get a hand on those pictures of Spence and Lila.”
“Ugh. I wanted to see those pictures, though.” Penelope whined.
“Spencer and who?”
Emily’s question breathed some life into Penelope and JJ, whose heads shot up at the speed of light.
“You never heard?”
“No! What pictures?”
“OMG. Emily. I can’t believe no one ever told you this. Okay so, picture the scene. It’s 2006 and the team was in LA for a case that involved Famous Hollywood Actress Lila Archer.”
“Never heard of her.”
“Shh and listen to my story. My boy genius was sent to her very snazzy house to protect her and within like two hours they were making out in her pool like teenagers. In front of the paparazzi! Steamy, am I right?”
Emily’s eyes were blown wide in her drunken glee. “Spencer Reid? Our Spencer Reid? Made out with a Hollywood actress in her pool? That goes against so many regulations, Jesus Christ. I love it.”
“It always seemed more like something Morgan would do.” JJ interjected, but Penelope was quick to hush her, despite Emily’s noise of agreement.
“Girls, you are forgetting one crucial thing. Yeah, Baby Genius has an IQ of infinity and like 48 PhDs, but he was also 24. He was a 24-year old dude, and a hot girl was kissing him in a pool. Of course he was gonna kiss back. Transference be damned.”
“Ha! That makes sense.” Emily laughed. “When I first met him though, I got a bit of a gay vibe.”
“He could be, like, bisexual.”
“I know, Pen! I’m certain he’s at least bi. I’m not wrong about these things.”
Penelope noticed that JJ was keeping her lips shut tightly during this portion of the conversation, and she wondered if JJ knew more than she was letting on.
“How can you just know ‘these things’, Em?” Penelope giggled.
“Like recognises like! I’d be a shitty lesbian if I didn’t have an at least-semi functional gaydar. Not to mention a shitty profiler.”
JJ and Penelope stared at their very drunk friend for a fraction of a second before jumping on top of her for a group hug.
“Emily! I’ve been trying to set you up with a man for years! Talk about counter-productive.”
“HA! I’m sorry, PG. If it makes you feel better I’m still gonna ignore your input on my romantic life even if you now know the correct gender.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
And the three of them were hugging, tipsy and tired and happy at Way-Too-Early O’Clock.
A Typical Girls’ Night.