005.
Nothing ever prepares you for the things you'd least expect, no matter how many possible outcomes you come up with or magic eight balls you consult, when something happens, all you can do is roll with it and hope for the best.
A valuable piece of advice from her mother and one Ava had taken to falling back on throughout her life, especially in recent years and especially now. Her sister was back, slumped over in the passenger seat of her car right beside her. If she weren't so concerned, she'd laugh, remembering how the roles had so often been reversed in the time she'd spent living with Zoe after Ben's death.
It was the same story every time. She would go out, get wrecked on whatever she could get her hands on, Zoe would find her almost immediately after and drive her home, lecturing her as she fell in and out of a hazy slumber. Ava couldn't blame her for that, she knew what she was doing was self-destructive. That never seemed to stop her, though. No longer did she fear the assured explosion of ridicule and disappointment that followed her every act of reckless using. The high she chased was too tempting not to.
Ava would sooner pursue the feeling of blinding numbness than the endless sadness that engulfed her every time she closed her eyes.
It was only after Zoe had gone that she reconsidered. Without anyone there to remind her of why she shouldn't have been doing what she was, it became oddly easier to accept, herself. That, and waking up in a stranger's bathtub one morning definitely had, had something to do with it...
Whatever the case may have been, Ava was proud to say she'd managed to stay sober ever since — eventually finding far less life-threatening activities to fill her time with and making more than a few new friends along the way. She wasn't quite sure where all of them were now — probably off getting married or having kids — a path she had thought she'd have joined them on already but no dice. There was the unexpected creeping up on her again, in all its unbridled chaos and demolition.
What was worse — this destruction had a name; one that, up until then, had brought her only comfort and peace but now?
"Who's Corey?" Zoe's voice rang out suddenly, causing Ava to gasp and slam quickly on the brakes, coming to an abrupt stop only a few meters from her apartment complex. Her mind was racing. Had she accidentally said his name out loud? She shook her head, feeling the weight of such a long day begin to set in. It didn't matter — there was no real reason to explain herself anyway, at least not now. Not when there were so many bigger things at hand.
"Oh, no one, don't worry about it." Ava dismissed, pulling up to the first parking space she saw and lining her car up as fast as possible. "Why don't we get you inside, hm?" she said as she removed the keys from the ignition and turned to face Zoe; who was at that point, bundled up in one of Ava's baggy sweaters as well as an admittedly thin hospital-provided blanket. It was a rather funny sight to the receptionist, unused to seeing her usually all-serious and self-sufficient sister sitting there, practically helpless with a loopy smile on her lips no less.
Muttering a slurred word of agreement, Ava was quick to climb out of her seat to meet Zoe at the passenger side door before she had the chance to inadvertently tumble out on her own. Taking her arm and draping it over her shoulder, she helped her onto the sidewalk, locking her car with her beeper as they went on their way towards her apartment. It was an old but sturdy building made up of red brick and dotted with square windows on its face. Built sometime in the 60s, her landlord had told her when she was scoping it out.
Although Ava hadn't been in the pickiest of moods when she chose it, the sole driving force behind the move being her somewhat impulsive desire to get out of the house she had shared for the past six years with the man whose name she wouldn't speak. What mutual friends of theirs she still spoke to every so often had mostly all voted against it, telling her to 'stand her ground,' and kick him out if he ever tried to come back again. And while she understood where they were coming from, seeing the man who had seemingly had no trouble ripping out her heart and crushing it in his hand was the last thing she wanted at the moment.
A part of her was honestly glad they hadn't been married already — the thought of all the paperwork made her head spin. No, it was really better this way, Ava tried to tell herself. Perhaps she hadn't even been ready for marriage after all. Besides, she reminded herself, glancing over at Zoe as she helped her into her building's dimly-lit lobby, she had more important things—people—to worry about.
"Is this your apartment, Ava? It looks so nice." chirped the highly-anesthetized girl, making her chuckle.
"No, this is the foyer — my place is upstairs." Ava clarified, pointing upwards to which Zoe nodded with an 'ohh,' of understanding. Giving the security guard on his nightly shift the brief flash of a smile, hoping to curb any inquiries with it she was glad when it did, him returning the gesture and motioning for her to go ahead to the elevator. Stepping onto the lift, Ava couldn't help but wonder how many times her sister had done the same with her slung awkwardly across her shoulder. History repeats itself, she supposed.
Getting off on her floor after a short trip, Ava took care in guiding Zoe to her door, supporting her weight as best she could as she fumbled to find her key. Locating it following a few seconds, she felt a sense of relief wash over her when the familiar sight of her living room came into view with the blind flick of a light switch.
"Well, here it is. Home sweet home." said Ava in spite of herself, closing the door behind her to more easily assist Zoe to a spot on her sofa.
"I like it — much better than the other one." remarked the blonde girl airily, making Ava wonder for a moment whether it was still the sedatives talking or if her sister was making an honest attempt at a joke. The latter would be a welcome surprise, if not highly unlikely. Although, maybe it wasn't, she hadn't seen her in many years and believed it was very true time could change a person. Maybe for her, it had been for the better. "What are all the boxes for though?"
Ava grimaced at the question. She had not yet managed to get everything unpacked, owing it mostly to her rather busy work schedule at the start of her time there and if she was being honest, her conflicted feelings to do so at all. A part of her, one she had not had the heart to silence just yet, still held out hope that the whole thing with Corey had been some sort of impossible nightmare. One where when she woke up, those boxes would be on the floor of their forever home rather than the den of isolation she found herself in now.
"Oh, I just moved in a few weeks ago — haven't had the time to unpack it all yet, you know? You'd be surprised how much stuff you have when you have to load it all into your car." Ava answered with a light laugh, trying to steer the conversation away from in-depth details about her love life.
"Mm, I'm sure I would — probably why I keep so few possessions. Does make traveling a lot easier." Zoe mused, eyes flitting to and fro across the room.
"Traveling? You been doing a lot of that since we last saw each other?" inquired Ava, genuinely curious as to the prospect of this. For all their lives, she had never shown a great interest in the idea, often shooting down many of Ava's plans to see the world once they'd grown up, going so far as to say it was a 'waste of time.' Fiddling with the fraying material of a spare hair tie on her wrist, Ava tried to silence her thoughts and remember that age-old saying. People change.
"Mmhmm! I've sort of been all over — the world is more beautiful than I originally thought. Niagara Falls? Gorgeous. Very wet — but gorgeous! Ah, I wish you could've been there, Ava..." Zoe confessed, looking off longingly as if to imagine a world in which they had never fallen out the way they had. Ava sighed, wanting to indulge in conjuring up the same what-if scenarios but found that she simply couldn't. The present held too much uncertainty for her to ignore. She had to say what was on her mind.
"What happened?" Ava posed, hoping with this seemingly newfound calm about her, Zoe would be more receptive to a heart-to-heart.
"Ah — got hit by a car — damn Kia Souls..." Zoe explained, forcing Ava to stifle a laugh and inadvertently reminding how she had forgotten to ask what had landed her in the hospital in the first place.
"I meant between us but I am sorry about that." she resolved, wincing at the mental image of being struck by such a vehicle. Zoe gave her a look of resignation, the same shame that had overcome her before in her hospital room clearly returning. Remorse rising in her chest for asking such a loaded question with little to no warning, Ava rushed to her side as she hung her head in her hands. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"
"No, no, you have every right to ask." Zoe insisted, rubbing a hand over her face in regret. Ava had never seen her so vulnerable — it was almost surreal. "It was me — it was all me. My thoughtlessness — no, my selfishness is what broke us apart. I never should've said or done any of the things I did to you. I just wanted so badly to believe I was doing the right thing—protecting you—like every big-sister would, you know? But I was wrong — so wrong... You deserved the chance to go off and make your own decisions and I'm so sorry I ever tried to take that from you, Ava. I really am." she finished, sincerity in her eyes as she placed a hand over Ava's, squeezing it as she had done earlier.
Taking everything she'd said in as fast as she could, Ava hugged her sister without a second thought, wondering then fleetingly if this was an unconscious attempt to confirm it wasn't a dream.
"I forgive you." she said, still reveling in the feeling of relief and comfort the embrace gave her. Pulling back, Ava wondered if her next words were as well-thought out as they could've been but believed in the maturity they brought nonetheless. "But it wasn't all you. I could be a reckless jerk so much of the time... And I know you were just trying to look out for me, even if you went too far sometimes. There are times I look back on all that time we spent at the academy fighting about nothing and you know what my biggest regret is?"
"Not punching me in the face?"
"Wha—no! No, not at all. Well, maybe at the time." Ava allowed with a playful smile. "No, it was allowing my pride to keep me from making up with you or just talking like this. Would've made things a whole lot easier..." she posited, gaze wandering with her thoughts of what could've been.
"Maybe but you have to remember we were both children. Hardly anything's easy at that age, especially for two world-famous twin sisters." Zoe pointed out, putting on a sing-songy tone of voice at the end. Shaking her head with a laugh, Ava was quick to correct her,
"I think you were the famous one."
"Mm, perhaps — but you know I never could've done it without you." assured the blonde, a genuine smile forming on her lips. "Sisters?" Zoe queried, raising her pinky finger for Ava to shake just as they had always done when they were little girls. Ava laughed again. How could she refuse? Linking pinkies, she answered accordingly, reaffirming a bond she had, up until then, thought she'd lost for good,
"Sisters."
~
Ben huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, looking on in disappointment as Klaus was resuscitated from yet another overdose. It had become such a common occurrence that he almost couldn't bring himself to worry that he wouldn't make it anymore. Not that he could do much about it if something did in fact, go severely wrong. That was the curse of being dead. Of choosing not to go into the light like he had originally been told to do.
For a while, he hadn't been able to say for sure why he had rejected the prospect of eternal peace, originally thinking it was his brother's powers tethering him to this murky state of in-between but quickly realized the truth of the matter.
'I don’t know if you can hear me, Ben but… I want you to know I love you—I always will.'
Ben could feel his chest tighten at even just the thought of her, the sensation nearly the same as when he was still alive. When he could still see her in person and not just in his memories, when he could touch her, hold her...
Though the clarity he wished he could provide as for the exact details of his death was as hazy as everyone else's, he had never stopped blaming himself for it. For what it did to her, to everyone he ever loved.
A day Ben was sure he'd never forget, however, was his funeral. Never before had he seen Ava so furious, so sad, so completely heartbroken.
'I never wanna see you again! I never wanna see any of you again!'
What was worse, he had only been summoned by Klaus after she'd already left — leaving the last time he'd seen her a horrific bust overall. There was no chance at comforting her, reassuring her that it hadn't been her fault, hell, he didn't even have the chance to give her the whole 'I'm in a better place now,' speech, although he currently knew that last part to be total bullshit, anyway.
The only times Ben ever caught glimpses of her were in the moments she spoke directly to him and those were almost always just her voice alone. But he didn't mind, anything was better than nothing. A phrase which he had become all too familiar with in recent times. At first, the messages came very regularly, him hearing her nearly every night. They were never anything too special or profound, most often just recounts of the day she'd had or a brief remark of how much she missed him; but to Ben, they were everything.
By the way he reacted to them, Klaus would've thought she was reciting him the most beautiful sonnets known to man or as he had once joked, something far dirtier than they had ever even been with each other. Ben was more than a little annoyed at the comment, made worse when his attempt at a swat on his brother's arm refused to connect, going straight through the limb like fog through an open window.
He supposed he should've expected these nightly check-ins to wane eventually but even so, he found himself more disheartened than expected when they ceased entirely. It wasn't that he thought she had forgotten him but that he had virtually no other way of making sure she was alright. No other way, save for one he didn't even see as a possibility. Go into the light.
Ben remembered being told he would be able to watch over his loved ones from there but something else in him told him not to trust it. Who knows what they tell people to get them to let go? Besides, he told himself, looking after Klaus was difficult enough down on earth — it'd probably be near impossible to do it from up there...
Yes, it seemed the best option for him was to remain where he was, no matter how it pained him to not be able to see Ava and to be forced to watch his brother continue on in the same viscous cycle he'd been trapped in since they were teens. Watching as Klaus rose up from the stretcher, a ludicrous grin on his face as he high-fived the EMT overseeing him, Ben frowned. Was this really the best option?
The task of pondering such a decision, however, was swiftly interrupted by a sudden newsflash on the small, 4-inch tv perched on the counter across from them.
"Moments ago, police reported the death of the most eccentric and reclusive billionaire, Sir Reginald Hargreeves." announced the news anchor, her voice and all other noise melting away in an instant the second the information registered in the brothers minds. Sparing each other a passing glance of knowing shock, Ben was the first to voice his feelings on the matter in the most eloquent of ways,
"Shit..."