Uncertainty
Gandra was slumped against the side of the bed that her and Fenton shared, knees close to her chest and fingers tangled into her hair. Her breathing was coming out in shaky wavers, and her body shivered, not from chills but from thoughts within herself.
Fenton was still sleeping soundly, facing away from where she was. He made a little “me-me-me” sound each time he exhaled, and Gandra managed a small smile towards that little noise he made, but now it was simply faded background noise. The sound of her own heartbeat thumping rapidly in her ears didn’t allow her to listen to much else, even if she wanted to.
Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera was a kind man, to put it lightly. Every day he said how much he loved her, and every day he would show it as well. It wasn’t that Gandra didn’t believe him when he told her he loved her, but… sometimes she felt like she didn’t deserve it.
She sighed, wiping the snot from the tip of her beak and blinking the tears from her eyes. She looked up from where she sat, her vision slightly blurry. Fenton’s back was still turned away from her, and she swallowed a lump in her throat.
Gandra lifted herself up, her heart feeling heavy and unsure.
“Oh, suit..” She murmured, her beak quivering with each word she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. Turning around, she sat on the edge of the bed, head bent down, looking to the floor, watching her tears pelt the ground below.
Fenton blinked, the slight movement and new pressure on the bed waking him up for a split moment, and just as he was about to drift off to sleep once again, the faint noise of sniffling and tearful murmuring caught his attention.
“What do you see in me..?” He heard Gandra mutter under her breath, and hoping not to startle her too much, he turned over onto his side, and whispered in response:
“What does who see in you, dear?”
Gandra gasped, her breath catching in her throat, head turning suddenly to face Fenton, her shimmering eyes and tear-stained face unable to be missed. She was breathing heavily, and her hand was close to her heart.
“Gandra..” Fenton blinked, rising up and crawling over to where she was, and before she could turn her head and hide her crying, he placed a gentle hand against her cheek, and she couldn’t help but melt into it.
“Gandra, what’s wrong?” He asked her, using his thumb to wipe her cheek of tears, brushing her hair to the side as well. “You can tell me anything, you know.”
“Of course I know that..” Gandra smiled for a moment, but it faded as she looked off to the side, pressing Fenton’s hand closer to her cheek. “It’s just.. It’s silly. I don’t know.”
Fenton hushed her, pressing a kiss against her cheek. Gandra blushed in return, but stayed silent.
“It’s not silly, if it’s got you this upset.” He reassured her, and when her eyes met his once again, he gave her a warm smile, and that was enough for her to take a deep breath, collecting her thoughts and all.
“I.. I don’t know why, it’s never bothered me before, but.. Fenton, you’re so.. Kind. You always have been, and I love you for that, but sometimes I feel.. That I don’t deserve it in return.”
As she finished saying it, more tears began to spill from her eyes all over again. To her it sounded ridiculous, a petty thing to cry over. But to Fenton it was far from so, and he proved it by pulling their beaks together into a long, passionate and reassuring kiss, and when he pulled away, her eyes were wide and confused, and his were pricked with their own tears.
“Gandra.. You’re a wonderful person. Always have been. What you did before, who you were back then.. You’ve grown so much from that. I love you, my Gandra. And you’ll always deserve it. Not just from me, but from other people as well.”
Gandra said nothing, but simply leaned her head into his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he pulled her in close. Fenton kissed her atop her head, stroking her hair.
“Thank you..” She whispered into his chest, her eyes drifting closed. “Guess I forgot just how sappy we could get.”
Fenton laughed softly at her words, feeling her breathing become more steady as she fell asleep in his arms.
“There’s no one else I’d rather be sappy with.” Was the last thing he told her before resting against her, the both of them falling asleep while sitting up.