The morning
Lisa stirred slowly, waking up from her sleep. She opened her eyes and looked over to the clock resting underneath the television; it was just after seven in the morning, she noticed. The group slept in shifts on the couch and floor in the living room. The calm atmosphere almost took Lisa by surprise if it was possible.
It was a lot different than last night, almost as if the serenity of the night washed the memories of it away.
But it was quiet, and everyone was still asleep - well, everyone but Yukina; the spot where she slept was empty. Whenever Lisa slept over as kids, she was always an early riser, she remembered.
She wormed out of her blanket and carefully tiptoed over the others to the nearest door, taking extra caution to not accidentally step on Sayo. Where was Yukina? She quietly slipped away to the kitchen. Her question was answered when she saw her friend sitting at the kitchen table. She had her headphones in, probably listening to music. It was nothing out of the ordinary for her.
Yukina would have to be stupid to not see her. She could tell she was there, Lisa thought. Is she really not going to say anything? She shifted forwards slowly as if approaching a wild animal. “Hey, Yukina,” she said breathlessly. Her gaze wasn’t met. She lightly poked her shoulder, “You in there?”
She sighed as she removed her headphones. “I must have not heard you, my apologies.”
Lisa sat beside her and rubbed her eyes, letting out a yawn. “Don’t worry about it.” The air felt stale.
“So,” Yukina said, “you two still came back after - to sleep?”
Lisa nodded sluggishly. “Even if we wanted to, we couldn’t go home, it was way too late at night.” Her gaze loosened. “And besides, I didn’t want to leave things the way they were last night.”
Yukina replied, “I wanted to talk to you about last night as well. I was out of line,” she looked down, “even I can recognize that.”
“I’m glad you’ve come back to your senses,” she smiled. “I feel like we just really let our emotions get the best of us, y’know?”
“I'll repeat: I understand that I was emotional. But otherwise…” Yukina’s voice went monotone. Her gaze burned into Lisa. “I still stand by what I said.”
Lisa sighed and bit the inside of her cheek. “Really? We’re going backwards with Roselia, Yukina.” Her fingertips danced across back and forth on the wooden table mindlessly. “We’ve been through stuff like this before, we’ve fought a ton too. It’s nothing that we can’t deal with~.”
Yukina placed her hand on Lisa's, stopping the action, emptying the room of sound. She stated, “This isn’t like that though, this is very different.”
She tilted her head. “I don’t get what you mean.”
Yukina sighed. “I know I didn’t explain it that well last night, and like I said before, it was late and my emotions were rampant - and I take responsibility - that’s my fault.” She paused and took a breath. She continued speaking, “But, if it’s alright with you, I'd like for us to go over all of the possible outcomes of your relationship. It will help me illustrate my point - why I acted the way I did.”
Lisa gulped. “Okay then,” is all she said.
Yukina raised a finger as if she was counting. “Let’s say, first off, your relationship goes smoothly—you and Sayo continue dating happily and the band remains intact.” Lisa stayed silent, so she continued. “That’s the best-case scenario.”
Lisa’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Your first relationship never lasts—rarely at least. We are all in high school, after we graduate things will change, they’ll change constantly.” Despite the direct tone of her words, there was a hidden, familial, affection laced in them, like a lecturing mother. “I didn’t want to be this blunt about it, but at this point, your relationship doesn’t concern only you and Sayo—it concerns the rest of Roselia as well.”
Lisa was noticeably pale if not anxious, which Yukina noticed. She gave her cold hand a squeeze, but continued, ripping off a band-aid. “If for one reason or another you two break up, the band will never be the same. You two are extremely talented, and if anything were to happen—a disruption in your dynamic—our sound will die.”
Lisa spoke flatly, “You sound really dramatic right now.”
“I don’t mean to be, but it's the best way to describe how important this is to this band,” she said. “And your friendship is strong, and it has shown through our recent rehearsals. Besides myself, I don’t think I have ever seen you this close with someone before.”
Lisa turned her gaze upwards; the words that came next had an edge to them, and if it wasn’t coming from Yukina, it may have hurt. “If there is a fight or a misunderstanding, or something else goes wrong—there is no guarantee that your relationship will return to normal. It could even worsen.”
Lisa lulled, “Do you really think that could happen?”
It didn’t sound unrealistic.
However, a small figure moved into her peripheral - a human roadblock to their conversation. Ako now stood in the kitchen, small. The self-appointed hell-raiser seemed soft, in a metaphorical sense. Her hair wasn’t in her regular pig-tails, it laid down, long and thick, and her eyes were half-lidded. They almost didn't notice her.
Did she always move so quietly?
“Nyeh…” she yawned, looking at the two girls. “Hey... guys...” She was obviously half-asleep; her speech was mumbled and slurred, syrupy like honey. “Are... you guys the only ones awake…?”
Yukina spoke. “Yes we are, the others are still asleep." She added, "Is your sister still sleeping as well?"
"She sleeps til like... noon..." Ako mumbled as she muddled to a cabinet and pried it open, picking out a cereal box and bowl. She filled the bowl, almost falling asleep where she stood. “You guys…” she yawned, “want cereal…?”
Lisa shook her head. “I’ll probably just grab something on my way home, I never really wake up mentally until I get my morning coffee, hehe…” The giggle at the end felt forced, it was obvious - at least to Yukina. Meanwhile, Ako was barely conscious enough to stand.
Yukina shook her head side to side when offered food, denying it as well.
She then leaned to the side of Lisa’s face and whispered in a hushed tone, keeping her words from Ako’s ears. “To set it straight, I don’t care who you date, in fact, I don’t even care if you tell me who. I know that you have a good sense of judgement - a good judge of character. But I cannot stand aside when it could affect our band, so please - try to understand my point of view.”
Nothing else was said, not even in hushed tones. Yukina put her headphones back on swiftly and Lisa sat there, almost stunned by a sudden monologue. With no other option, she pulled out her phone as a simple solution, scrolling through her social media. The sticky air of silence was filled by the crunching of cereal and the faint hum of the air conditioner, and Lisa thought - maybe - that she could hear the faint snores of Sayo and Rinko too.
-
Soon enough, Sayo and Rinko both woke up. Very few words were said between Sayo and Yukina except a ‘hello’ or ‘good morning,’ the awkwardness and conflict of the prior night were still fresh in their minds. Ako, now mentally awake, did her best to be a bundle of energy as usual, but the atmosphere still felt deflated. After changing back into their regular clothes, Sayo and Lisa left together just after noon, saying their thanks and good-byes, and Yukina and Rinko left not too long after.
When Sayo and Yukina spoke that morning, it almost felt like a mind-game. Each word was said with a secret intent, almost as if each person were standing their ground, calculating their opponent’s moves. The two were never particularly sociable, so it was a cruel display.
And at that moment, Lisa noticed the dynamic had already changed.
On their walk home, she made sure to explain to Sayo the highlights of the conversation she and Yukina had before she woke up.
It wasn’t their relationship that Yukina is against; she could care less about who they dated. All that mattered to her is that it affected the band, and although Lisa wished she couldn’t, she could see her logic. If they broke up, it would be difficult for things to go back to a sense of normalcy. It would affect their sound.
At times, Yukina’s maturity surprised Lisa. Despite her poor ability at expressing her thoughts, they’ve hit the mark almost every single time.
Sayo, on the other hand, seemed hesitant, but still, she ended up comprehending Yukina’s point. They were both consistently practical and cool-headed; Sayo could understand her mindset. So, begrudgingly, she understood.
The breeze paved through Sayo's thoughts and she groaned, seething between her teeth.
This is complicated - more than I would have expected it to be.
It was Sayo’s first crush on a girl. Did she get too excited? - did she let the idea of an actual relationship cloud her thoughts and judgment? Was she greedy? Now looking back on the past two weeks, she wished she didn’t rush things.
But now, all she - they - can do is adapt.
They arrived at Sayo’s house first, and Lisa gave her a lingering hug before they turned the corner, hiding the action from unwanted eyes. She said goodbye to her and left to walk the rest of her way home. The feeling of Sayo’s body around hers etched itself within her mind, and secretly, she wished they could do more. Even if it was just something like a kiss, she’d be satisfied. She just wanted more of that warm feeling.
But one thing at a time.
-
“Mom, what were you and dad like when you dated?” Lisa asked one night during dinner. Her mother’s eyes stared at her with part surprise and part curiosity.
She swallowed her bite and giggled lightly. “Are you seeing someone, by chance?”
“No… no, that isn’t it,” she lied. “Some of my friends are starting to date, and I’m just kinda curious, that’s all.”
“So you’ve considered it?”
Lisa poked her food with her fork. “I guess so, yeah.”
Her mother chuckled and raised her hands mockingly. “My daughter is finally entering the world of romance…! Ah, doors are opening…!”
Lisa’s face went red and she raised her hands in front of her in a flurry. “Fine! Nevermind! I don’t wanna know!”
“Aw, c’mon - you know I’m joking~.” Her gaze then turned somewhat serious, but it still retained motherly spirit. “I promise I’ll be serious, okay?”
Lisa stared her down. “You promise?”
“Cross my heart,” her mother nodded with a slight grin. “I don’t normally get to see this serious side of you,” she teased. “But you wanted to know what it was like when your father and I dated…” She then sighed. “Jesus, I haven’t talked about him in forever…”
Lisa nodded to the statement, the first part at least. She didn’t want to unbag anything else that day.
“Well, we met in high school,” she said. “Around the same age as you.”
“Really?”
Her mother nodded. “He was a total flirt, he never knew when to shut up sometimes...” She laughed to herself, “A player is what he was. Well, before he met me he was. Your amazing mother was the one who got him to settle~.”
As much as she wished she was disgusted, Lisa actually found her mother’s rambling heartwarming. Thinking back on it, it may have just been a long day, blurring her judgement.
“I’ll admit, there were some trust issues at the start of the relationship.” She rested a hand against the round of her face. “I was a pretty quiet kid back then, more of an introvert, I’d say. And your father was popular, he was friends with everyone, which wasn’t something I could relate to. But your father helped me gain confidence, he really showed he cared.”
Lisa fought a small smile. “So what did you guys do when you dated?”
She hummed and continued. “We did the usual stuff: we went on dates, celebrated holidays together: white day, the regulars…”
Dates? Lisa hadn’t considered going on one with Sayo, not this early, at least.
“But it was the small things that really made it special. Small gifts, he listened to the things that I cared about even if he didn’t even understand a word I said - even going on something as basic as a walk was always nice. Walks would probably be a good way to start most relationships, though. It's simple, it doesn't put too much pressure on the couple.”
Walking. It was basic, definitely. But it worked, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Maybe it would be fun.
Lisa interrupted with a question. “Was he your… uh… first love?”
Her mother giggled teasingly. “Man, you’re really curious tonight, aren’t you~. But, no.”
“No? ”
She shook her head. “We had both been in relationships before we met each other, so we both had experience going into it.” She rambled, “He definitely dated more people than me though.”
“So it wasn’t your first then.”
She giggled lightly. “No, honey. Your first relationship never lasts, but it’s always fun to dip your feet into the water, get experience for the whole thing.”
Never lasts? Lisa thought. That means her mother agreed with Yukina’s point too.
I guess it was just hopeful thinking.
Her mother noticed the fall in her face. “But never say never, y'know?” She hoped she didn’t corrupt her daughter’s chance at a love-life with that one sentence. “Hey, did you want to grab some dessert after this?” she asked in an attempt to change the subject. “I have a huge sugar-craving coming on~.”
Lisa looked at her mother with amused eyes. She had enjoyed hearing her mother’s relationship with her father, it gave her some insight into how an actual relationship should work. But still, your first relationship never lasts.
She ended up nodding to her idea. After what felt like the longest day, she could definitely go for something sweet.
Sayo liked sweet things, Lisa remembered. If she had the courage to ask, they could maybe go out somewhere together and get ice-cream, or maybe fries or takoyaki.
She took a deep breath. Maybe she should reserve that thought for another time - another time when she could indulge in her thoughts just a bit more.