chapter one
While she was going on about something that had happened in Cali with her cousins for the millionth time since she’d gotten back, all Chloe could think was about how beautiful Rachel looked. Her face was animated along with her hands, waving clumsily through her buzz from the joint she had dropped into the gutter earlier. The sun caught her golden hair and reflected the light from the setting sun off of it, making it look like pure sunshine. Her laugh was light but careless.
It was too infectious for Chloe not to laugh along with her, until it was cut short by Rachel slipping forward a few inches on the roof. Chloe caught her by the waist of her shorts and once Rachel's wide eyes met hers, she busted out laughing again. This time, there were loud snorts and shaking shoulders and people out on their lawns looked in their direction. Chloe giggled out a “Shhh!” The crazed laughter bubbled down to a sigh as Rachel scooted back to her spot, this time a little closer to Chloe now with their hips touching. The sun had started to sink, but the whole sky was still bathed in a warm orange light. It was beautiful, and the kind of sunset you only see around late summer. As if she could hear her thoughts, Rachel piped up.
“September always has the best sunsets,” Chloe looked over to see Rachel gazing dreamily into the clouds above them before leaning back to lay on the roof. If she weren’t high, her heart would’ve jumped at how she let her legs stretch in front of her until her bare feet were dangling off the edge. But the weed still working through her veins made her close her eyes and get lost in the sound of cicadas and kids playing somewhere up the street. She could almost remember when she was one of those kids, riding her bike out to the park on Legion Ave and coming home just before dark. Such a happy memory shouldn’t make her feel as upset as it did, and she started to regret not fishing out the joint from the gutter when she felt the corners of her eyes prick with tears.
She was pulled from her spiraling by a warm hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to a significantly bluer lighting, and to Rachel being propped up at her side again. She didn’t say anything, but put her hand on top of the one caressing her upper arm slowly. When she finally met Rachel’ eyes, there was something there she hadn’t seen in a long time. Usually Rachel looked at her on the surface, whether they were hanging out at the diner or smoking or even blasting music in her truck. This time she looked into her, her eyes flitting from her lips back to her eyes. The same unspoken request from last year. She didn’t know who leaned in, but suddenly their lips met and Chloe remembered why she was so entranced by her.
It was warm but hesitant, and ended way too soon. When they pulled away, Chloe looked for any sign of regret. She saw something swirling in Rachel’ eyes, and she knew she didn’t have to ask to know that she wanted more. She moved into the space between them and this time soft hands held her face, while hers naturally slid around her waist. There was so much more there than the couple times they’d kissed “as a dare” in the past. It was like the first time all over again, complete with Rachel’s soft sighs and Chloe’s heartbeat raging through her...
When Chloe opened her eyes she was met with a black sky littered with stars. She didn’t realize so much time had passed. She lifted herself up slowly and didn’t bother to hide the cigarette butt. Instead, she crawled up the slant of the room to her window and shut it once she was in her room. She flops on her bed with a heavy sigh. Just as she’s about to internally scold herself for thinking about her best friend like that yet again, her phone chimes. She pats around her bed for it, and once she finds it she sees the nickname “trailblazer ;)” lighting up her screen. The text is Rachel without a doubt, complete with an obnoxious amount of emojis and a picture of her pouting with her empty room in the background. She shoots back an “on the way psycho,” before clicking off her phone. She grabs her keys, wallet, and lighter, and for a split second she wonders, ‘What if this time…?’
She shakes the thought as quickly as it pops up, leaves a note on her bed in case someone goes looking for her, and hoists herself back through her window. She’s done it a million times by now, so it’s basically muscle memory when she starts up her truck after the neighbors’ dogs bark to cover the sound, then peels out after she creeps silently to the end of her street. The drive to Rachel’s house is long, so Chloe settles for the staticky radio to drown out her thoughts.