“You didn’t hear what he was saying.”
She had her eyes trained on the ground, daring not to look up. She’d been trying really hard to not say anything. She initially didn’t feel like she had to justify herself if she is being completely honest, but she also knows Rosie expects something from her. She knows that Rosie was mad when she found Lisa sitting on the curb with a towel to her lip. She was still mad when she slowly took the towel from Lisa’s hand, careful not to hurt her swollen hands. It was getting worse as she assessed Lisa’s face, to see what the damage was this time. Lisa knows so she didn’t dare look at Rosie, instead she lets Rosie slightly dab her lip. Lets her try to clean her up. That is when she feels it. She feels the tiny drips of tears hitting her hands. But Lisa still doesn’t know what to say quite yet. They had been sitting in silence since Rosie arrived and Lisa finally felt like she had to say something. Quiet Rosie was a bad sign. Rosie is usually yelling at her from the get go but now, there is nothing but the quiet sounds of Rosie sniffling and the flickering of the street lamp. The dabbing on her lip slowly stopped, once the sentence left her bruised lips.
“Quite frankly Lisa, I could care less about what he was fucking saying.”
Lisa’s eyes snap up to look into Rosie’s eyes. She’s never seen her quite this mad before. Sure, she's been scolded before, for the same type of situation in fact, but she can now feel the wrath radiating off of Rosie. She’s in trouble for sure now. Cursing Rosie, while it was attractive, was a dangerous sign.
“You keep doing this, and what happens the next time someone doesn’t pull them off you huh? What happens next time when Ten isn’t there to have your back? What happens… what happens next time… when… Lisa just look at your face… Jesus Christ.”
Rosie now has full blown tears streaming down her face, and Lisa knows they are angry tears. They are angry tears, and it’s all Lisa’s fault. Lisa hesitantly reaches out and slowly starts to wipe away the tears. Rosie pushes her hand away and finishes wiping her own tears. Bad sign number 3, and Lisa knows it. She’s going to get it now, and she will have to just justify what she did.
“Rosie he was saying all kinds of stuff about you. Did you just want me to sit there and be ok with it? Be ok with all the shit coming out of his mouth?” Lisa is getting mad now too. This guy was saying all kinds of crazy things about Rosie and had the audacity, the fucking audacity to laugh about it. She can see his stupid face now. “He was fucking laughing at you. Laughing with his friends about the lies he was saying. You think I can sit there and just hear that and ignore it? Jesus Rosie.” Lisa has her eyes trained on Rosie.
“But it wasn’t true Lisa! So what does it matter?!” Rosie shoots up from kneeling on the ground. And her voice is getting louder as she continues. “What does it matter if you know it wasn’t fucking true Lisa?” Rosie has pushed her hair back and Lisa stands up too. It’s a fight now, and it could go either way. Lisa has to be careful with what she says next. “Every time, every. single. time. Lisa, it’s the same reason. It’s the same excuse. You know they do it to get a rise out of you. And look what happens. They hurt you, and I can’t stand seeing you hurt… seeing you hurt because of me.” Rosie has finished cleaning the last of her tears. Lisa can see the red rim of Rosies eyes, and her heart aches.
Shit. Lisa thinks. “I… Rosie.” Lisa steps forward. Rosie in turn steps back and starts pacing.
“This happens every time Lisa. You get into these damn fights, because so and so said this about me, or they said that. Lisa, you can’t just beat the shit out of every body when they say negative things about me.” Rosie is on the verge of tears again but she keeps going. “I get a call and I already know what Ten is going to tell me. I know what is going to happen when BamBam takes you out.” Rosie has both her hands in her hair and she’s catching her breath. “I get so mad every time I come and get you, every time I get one of those calls. And I always think that this time I won’t be as nice to you. I won’t give in so easily to you. Because you got yourself into this mess yet again… But then I see you… with the bruises on your face and your swollen hands and Jesus Christ my heart just breaks.” Lisa has laced her hands behind her own neck. “My heart breaks because I know it’s because of me. I know what they say, and I know that you’ll jump to defend me but just look at you. ” Rosie breaths out and has slowed down her pacing. When she finally comes to a stop, she looks up to the sky. Lisa knows that Rosie wants to say more, she can tell, but she looks exhausted. Rosie closes her eyes for a few seconds and when she reopens them, she straightens up and takes the few steps back toward Lisa and stands in front of her. Lisa lets her hands fall to her sides, and looks down at the ground again. Rosie reaches out and brushes her bangs out of the way and speaks again. “Your lip is split, and I can see the bruise starting to form under your left eye. I can see your other eye is bloodshot.” Rosie traces each feature and stops to hold Lisa’s head up to the light, reevaluating her face again. Rosie tilt’s Lisa’s head to the left and right and Lisa can see her eyes glossing over again. “This isn’t worth it Lisa. To defend me from lies that dont even matter. From people that don’t matter. I don’t care what they say, I only care about you and you end up looking like this for nothing.” Lisa knows that perhaps she did act irrationally, but that is also why she does it. Because they are lies, lies about Rosie. Lies that people tell and Lisa can’t let that go without consequences. Lisa reaches up and holds Rosie’s hand to her cheek.They stay like this for a few minutes and Lisa can tell that Rosie is starting to settle down.
“It’s not for nothing Rosie.” Lisa finally whispers. She’s not sure if that was the right thing to say or not. Doesn’t know if it will make Rosie snap again. She can feel Rosie start to pull her hand away, but she holds on tighter. “I just can’t stand it Rosie. I can’t stand that they act like they know you.” Lisa pulls Rosie’s hand away and plants a kiss on the palm. She lets go of Rosie’s hand and reaches out to cup her face with both hands. “I just can’t stand when they say ugly things about you. About my beautiful Rosie.” Rosie closes her eyes and starts to shake her head. She reaches up and grabs Lisa’s wrists but she doesn’t pull her away from her face. Rosie is holding on and Lisa starts to move her thumbs back and forth on her cheeks. Rosie lets out another breathe and there will be new tears again. They both know that they will never agree on this. “Its reckless I know. It’s stupid I know that too. But I can’t help it Rosie.” Lisa presses their foreheads together.
“Lisa.” Rosie doesn’t move, but she lets out a loud sigh. Lisa breathes in and continues.
“I am sorry Rosie. I really am. I know this upsets you and I know I’m reckless. I try so hard to not make you worry, to not do something stupid, but something just snaps in me and I can’t hold it back. Not when it comes to you.” Lisa wraps Rosie in a hug and she can feel Rosie melting into it. “You know I dont care what people say about me, but you… they don’t get to talk about you. Not you.” She can feel Rosie returning her hug. Rosie pushing her face into the crook of Lisa’s neck. “They dont know you and they don’t… d-don’t get to say anything bad about you… n-not… not you.” Lisa is choking up a bit, Rosie is her weakness. Everyone knows it. She pulls Rosie in a little tighter and clears her throat. She blinks the tears away. “you are a saint. I mean come on.” Lisa is trying to lighten the mood since she knows that Rosie is not as mad as before. She can hear Rosie let out a small scoff. “You are an angel, actually, and we all know it.” Lisa starts to smile and runs her hands through Rosie’s hair. They stay like this for a while swaying in each other arms. Lisa drops her voice to whisper again. “I am sorry babe, please. I will try to contain it better. I promise this time. I will try to be better.” Very rarely does Lisa apologize for something like this but she knows she needs to try, she needs to try for Rosie.
“Ok Lisa, ok. It’s just… you are just too dramatic. And that is coming from me.” Lisa lets out a small laugh.
“To be fair, Ten did try to hold me back but I was too quick.” Rosie scoffs and tries, not very hard, to push Lisa away. “So really, if we think about it, its Ten’s fault. He was slippin, and you should be mad at him, not me.” Rosie pinches Lisa’s back and Lisa lets out a yelp and holds onto Rosie a bit tighter. She can hear Rosie slightly chuckle. Lisa pulls back a little and she can see the smile on Rosie’s face, and she knows she’s in the clear. “There she is. That smile.” Lisa reaches up to Rosie’s face to clean up the tears that fell from earlier. “I really am sorry Rosie. I hate seeing you upset, I am sorry.”
“It’s okay Lisa, it’s ok. Just please, be more careful.” Rosie says grabbing Lisa’s hand and presses soft kisses to her knuckles. “Please just count to 5 or something or just leave if this happens, okay?” Lisa closes her eyes and gives her a slight nod. “Thank you.” Rosie leans up and plants a soft kiss to Lisa’s lips. Lisa grimaces a little and Rosie slightly pulls back and runs her finger lightly over her lips. Rosie shakes her head, and there is a small apology in her eyes. Lisa kisses her finger. They both let out a giggle and start to walk hand in hand toward Rosie’s car.
“The plus to this I guess…”
“There’s a plus?” Rosie interrupts, looking over at Lisa with uncertain eyes.
“Yes there is my dear Rosie.” Lisa says swinging their hands between them. A small smirk forming on her face. “The plus, in these types of situations, is that this is how I get you to look after me. To take care of me. ” Lisa really is dumb. She really is the dumbest person alive. Lisa looks over at Rosie and realizes that she may have to sleep on the couch today. Maybe Ten will let me sleepover. “Wait it was a joke…”
“Get your butt in the car Lisa. You are going to get it when we get home.” Rosie says letting go of Lisa’s hand and letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I can’t believe you ruin a nice moment… To think I let you sweet talk me… the nerve I swear…”
Rosie really is a saint for loving a clown like Lisa. Lisa adds controlling her mouth to the list of things she has to work on.