The Reason Is You
Himiko has been standing in the mirror naked for several minutes now, her hands oddly groping her chest and squinting at it. She’s trying to envision what she would look like with a flatter chest, something….medium sized maybe? Squinting isn’t helping to make them look smaller, just really bleary and that’s not helping her case. She’s tried taping them down already but that just pushes them out more, plus it also feels like she’s suffocating herself and ripping the tape off is painful.
“What the fuck..are you doing?” Rachel finally asks. Well thank fuck. Her and Miki have just been sitting there watching her the whole time and she’s been waiting for them to speak up so she can start asking for their opinions.
She spins around to them in her mirror and squeezes her boobs with her hands. “Are my boobs too big for my body? Like do they fit me or should I cut them down?”
Miki’s eyes widen and she chuckles slowly, “what?”
“I know it’s crazy sounding to you ms queen of tits, but some of us don’t like our...ample bosoms.”
“I thought you liked your boobs?” Ray questions, brows furrowed.
“I liked flaunting them when they could get me things, but well...now I think they’re a nuisance.” She turns back to the mirror. A nice b-cup would probably be enough. Where did these things even come from? Every other woman in her family is flat as a washboard, what the hell happened to her?
What Bakugou said really stung and hurt her feelings. It made her feel unattractive and ugly, but now she believes he was just trying to look out for her. Maybe he’s noticed how she’s iffy about them and him saying that was just him letting her know that if she did choose to get a reduction surgery then he’d be okay with it. He would like her more that way. Just how far is she willing to go to make herself one hundred and ten percent perfect for him?
“Himi...don’t bite my head off, but does this have anything to do with why you came back last night after you said you were going to spend the night?”
She doesn’t justify that question with an answer. They can come to their own conclusions, either way they’ll probably just chastise her again. “I’m thinking of probably going down to a b.” She tells them.
“Oh for fucks sake!” Miki wails. The auburn haired coEd gets up from her spot on the couch marching over to Himiko and spanking her on her bare bottom. Himiko gasps, using her hands to shield herself from the oncoming attack. What is she, a toddler? “Why are you like this?” Miki asks, swatting her.
“What are you doing you freak?!” She squeals, kicking at her abuser. “Lay off my ass! It’s precious territory and I haven’t consented to this!”
“Stop acting like an idiot Himiko!” Miki shouts at her. “Look me in my eyes and tell me this isn’t about that fucking prick down the hall!”
“It’s not!” She lies.
“It is.” Rachel cuts in. She stands up next and goes to stand by Miki, folding her arms over her chest. “Himiko just a week and a half ago you were acting like your world was ending and like Bakugou was the worst person in the world. Then you were acting like he was the greatest thing in the world and you were back on cloud nine. Now after supposedly having spent the night with your so called ‘boyfriend’ you’re suddenly far more insecure about your chest than you ever have been?”
“Rationality and pattern says that he said or did something fucked up to make you feel this way. It’s sick!”
“It’s abusive and manipulative.” Rachel agrees. “There’s nothing wrong with you, your body proportions are fine. Fuck you’re name in my phone is ‘thic legend’...I mean you put it there but I haven’t changed it so obviously I agree. You’re beautiful, don’t let some sociopathic asshole tear you down like that.”
She really hates that Rachel is a psychology student. It makes her think she knows everything about people’s thoughts, behaviors, and actions. And most times she does, but this time isn’t one of those times. She and Miki are wrong, plain out wrong.
Bakugou isn’t a sociopath, he’s not an asshole, and he’s not abusing her. He’s simply trying to find the best way to love her. She’s so sick of this. She’s always building them up and cheering them on in their own relationships and the one, millionth, time she falls in love, true love, they can’t be her fucking friends and support her?
“I don’t need this.” She huffs, storming off to her room to throw on some clothes. “I don’t fucking need this!”
She tugs her duffel bag down from her closet and starts shoving things into her bags. “What are you doing now?” Isn’t it obvious?
“I’m leaving! I’ll go stay with my future husband and we’ll just start our life of living in marital bliss early!”
“You...my fucking god please tell me you hear how insane that sounds?!” Miki scoffs.
“I’m not insane!” Himiko snaps back. Her hands stop packing and she rises slowly to face her friends. She levels them with a stern and forceful look, clenching her hands by her sides. “I am not insane. I am in love. There is a difference.”
Miki laughs, exasperated. She’s not as used to Himiko’s behavior as Rachel is. She doesn’t live here, doesn’t have to see it on a day to day basis. They’re close but they’re nowhere near as close as the two blondes. “She’s right Miki. She’s not insane. She’s just got daddy issues.” Rachel says with a perfectly straight face, not an ounce of sympathy in her monotone voice. “Her dad never loved her this way and never taught her how to accept love the right way so now she thinks men who try to change her are the perfect ones to fall for. It’s statistics really.”
Himiko reels back from her words like they’ve just burned her. A statistic? She’s not insane, she’s not a statistic and she doesn’t have daddy problems. If some other girl decided to cut her hair or start working out to impress and please their boyfriend nobody would shit about it. But because she wants to make one small, insignificant change, she has to be a statistic? Fucks sake she never even told them it was about him.
“Miki you get called by a different name every day because your girlfriend wants to be the only Miki in existence. The shitty boyfriend that you were dating first cared so little about you that he had no problems bringing another girl into your relationship, someone so completely opposite from you and then they both convinced you that it was better for you, for all them. They spend more time with each other than they do you. They’re just phasing you out little by little and you’re either too dumb to see it or too busy trying to convince yourself it’s not happening by trying to make me look like the dumb one.”
“And you Rachel, your boyfriend is a useless pothead who only comes around for sex and help on his stupid essays. And don’t talk about me having daddy issues when you literally call yours everyday and he never answers! At least mine talks to me! Now if you’ll both excuse me, I have shit to do.”
They both stand there looking at her. Of course Rachel still looks like she doesn’t care and her ability to be so damn indifferent to everything drives Himiko so far up the damn wall she could scream. If only she could be that way, then maybe she wouldn’t say mean things to her friends out of anger. Miki looks pissed, like she’s ready to hit someone or take to the track to blow off steam so that she doesn’t hit someone.
She realizes as she starts to pack again that this will...probably cost her. But it feels good to have finally gotten it off her chest. It makes no sense that they lecture her all the time about her views on love and romance when their own relationships are so far from perfect it’s ridiculous. The door slams shut behind her, loud enough to shake her bed. Their RA is gonna wonder about that. Are these tears pricking her eyes? Why is she crying? It’s their fault, they started it. They should be the ones crying, not her. She was only sticking up for herself. She’s not a child, they can’t always treat her like one.
Himiko zips up her bag and tosses it over her shoulder. She can’t leave without her favorite stuffed bunny, she clutches it in her arms with her as she makes for the doorway passing Rachel up on her way.
“I still love you.” She hears her say behind her, causing her hand to freeze on the door handle. “Even if you’re mad, even if we’re saying painfully honest shit to each other...I still love you...more than he ever would.”
She wipes her eyes on her shoulder and scoffs under her breath. She doesn’t say anything back. She didn’t make this bed, she doesn’t have to lie in it. They’ll realize they’re being unjustly cruel to her and then they’ll come around to apologizing. She’ll be waiting.
Bakugou isn’t in his room when she arrives and Kirishima and Kaminari fumble around for a solid few minutes before giving her a straight answer. He’s at a meeting with his professor. They don’t know which professor, but they know it’s a professor. His book bag is still in his room, along with all his textbooks and he didn’t take his crutches. That’s a long trip for him to make on a bum ankle. He’s obviously not in a meeting with his professor.
The two other guys seem reluctant to let her stay there since he’s not in the room at the moment, but Toga’s mind is made up. She’ll stay with Bakugou from now on, at least until it’s safe to go back to her own room. She’ll wait for him to get back before she puts her clothes away. He’s so neat he may have a particular spot that he wants them. For a little while she just lays there on his bed, staring at the his friends in the doorway while they stare at her with nervous ‘what the fuck do we do’ expressions until she decides she’s tired of them staring and slams the door in their faces. Can’t a girl get some privacy?
She tries to call Bakugou again, but like the last twelve times, he doesn’t answer. His phone is probably on silent or something. Wherever he is. There’s a nagging in the pit of her stomach that keeps telling her ‘he’s with another girl, he’s with another girl’ but she can’t believe that. If that’s true then she would feel so incredibly fucking stupid for the way she just blew up her friendships. But really where else could he be right now? He doesn’t have any friends outside the ones in this room. At least, not any that he would go and hangout with. He’s not at a meeting with his professor without his crutches. His laundry basket is still in the room so he’s not doing laundry and the cafe is closed right now.
“I need a plan.” She tells herself. Camie doesn’t live in this building, but Setsuna does. Fifth floor right? Not a long elevator ride. Toga hops off the bed again and grabs his laundry basket. She’ll need an excuse to tell the boys that are undoubtedly still standing in the sitting room looking stupid. “Be back, gonna do his laundry.” She claims, flashing them a smile. She pauses at the door and turns the lock on the handle to make sure she can get back in on her own and gives Kirishima a stern warning look in case he tries to lock her back out.
She tucks the laundry basket against her hip and slips into the elevator pressing the fifth floor button. She has never really talked to Tokage before. They don’t get along much after some freshman year party incident. The girl swears up and down Toga purposefully threw a dart at her, but Toga can’t remember this woman being on her radar for anything. She was more than likely drunk and her aim was far off, clearly an accident if it even happened.
Other than that, Setsuna is one of those popular girls that she never would’ve gotten along with anyways. She’s the captain of the cheer team and the president of the student life administration. The type of person who holds fundraisers and then shames you because no one wants to buy your cookies despite how amazing they are. Toga’s cookies were covered in sprinkles and ‘Love Madness’ quotes, they should’ve been a big hit. Would have been a bit hit if she were a better cook, but dammit at least she did something. Now that she’s thinking about the dart accusation started after that...she probably did throw that dart at her. It was well deserved.
Setsuna’s room is practically just right off the elevator, she can tell from the stupid and gaudy door tag. She sets the laundry basket down and presses her ear up against the door trying to hear for any signs of infidelity. These damn things are so thick though, Setsuna would have to start screaming literally right this minute if she wanted to hear anything. She pulls back, sets her hands on her hips, and stares at the door. She’s just giving it a minute, trying to see if anything pans out. When she hears nothing she knocks loudly and then waits again for any signs of shuffling feet or hushed and panicked whispering. Nothing!
The door pulls open just a crack and then wider when Setsuna sees who it is. She snorts, a snooty look on her stupid pretty face. Yeah, Toga definitely threw that dart at her. Her eyes check her appearance, her hair doesn’t look out of place, her skin doesn’t look flushed and the scent of sex isn’t wafting into the hallway off her body. But she is wearing a t- shirt….just a t- shirt. ‘Interesting.’ She hums inquisitively to herself, tapping her lip with her finger.
She looks over the rest of her body, the nice tone legs from all those silly little cheer workouts. Her hips aren’t very wide, pretty slender like her frame. Her tummy probably has abs in it. Toga doesn’t have abs, she used too, but then she started eating a lot of candy and quit all the athletics. She’s not chubby, but she’s not as little as she used to be, it all just seems to go straight to her thighs. And Tokage’s boobs which are very obvious in her t-shirt. They look like a decently modest size, not as big as hers, but nice enough to get a good handful. And her hair, it’s so pretty and tame, lush with beautiful dark green waves. She has bedroom eyes and-
“What do you want, weirdo?” She questions, tossing her hair over her shoulder. It’s perfect for Toga because now she can see the sides of the girls neck. That’s definitely a hickey. If she were smarter she would’ve kept it covered, or maybe she’s trying to shove off.
Toga blinks a few times. Tokage is perfect. “Is my boyfriend in there?” She questions.
“I didn’t know you even had a boyfriend.” She smirks, leaning against the doorframe. “Is this one real or are you still going crazy over fictional characters? Ouh or is Todoroki’s older brother? Heard you were slumming it with dealers now.”
So she hangs out with a guy a few dozen times and now everyone thinks they’re dating. What a shallow high school mindset, it’s like she can’t have guy friends at all. “I’m looking for Katsuki. Is he here?” She asks again.
“Katsuki? Like Bakugou Katsuki?” Well, no shit. Setsuna starts laughing at her like she’s just told the world’s funniest joke. Toga stares at the laundry basket on the floor awkwardly, this chick is such a bitch, but even her laugh is pretty. What does she sound like laughing? “You know I think this takes stalking to a whole new level. I haven’t seen him...yet, but when he comes I’ll be sure to tell him that his creepy follower is knocking on doors for him now.”
“I’m not stalking! I’m serious, we’re dating. Can you just answer my damn question so I can go?”
The other woman clears her throat and covers her mouth with a dainty hand trying to hold back anymore outbursts. “I did.” She snarks. “Tell your boyfriend I said ‘hello’ whenever he gets back to you.” Tokage looks briefly at the laundry by her feet and snorts with laughter again, rolling her eyes and slamming her door shut. Fucking mean girls man. Nobody likes them, but everybody loves them for so damn reason.
Toga presses her ear up against the door again, just to be sure when she leaves. She’s going to petition for thinner doors in this place.
(“Tatsuya..I know you’re upset and it’s my fault. I hurt you. I let things get too out of control between us. I was just thrilled about experiencing something new.”
The boy scoffs at her and calls that explanation bullshit. “So that’s it? I was just a shiny new toy to you?” Hina gulps, her lip trembling. That’s not what she meant, she wasn’t ‘using’ him. She really does care about him, but it’s the same old same old, her heart belongs to Katsuma.) Goodness no. That sounds like garbage, delete.
Himiko groans, letting her head fall against the wall. She’s been sitting in the laundry room waiting for his laundry to finish and rewriting this chapter several times. It’s really hard to write when you’re in a funk. She checks her phone again, still no messages from her beau. He doesn’t answer this phone call either and it’s probably the hundredth message she’s left.
Her chest hurts along with her head. It’s almost like she has a thousand pounds of anxiety weighing on her. She doesn’t like not being able to find him, not being able to talk to him whenever she pleases. She put in the work to win him and now doesn’t want to lose him, but she doesn’t understand why it’s not working like she envisioned.
Things were going so perfectly up until last night. That one little comment and now his disappearance? It’s obviously something she did or else he wouldn’t have said that and he wouldn’t be gone right now. If he would answer her calls she could ask him and find out so she can avoid that.
Dabi: You free tonight?
She rolls her eyes, she doesn’t have time for this. She’s already told him she’s exclusive now and she’s not open to fooling around with him anymore. Busy
Dabi: Fine, tomorrow night. I’ll come by Gemini, got a package for you. A package? Like...a pill package? Didn’t this skinny idiot learn his lesson last time?
Dabi, I fucked up last time and it cost me heavy. I’m not doing it again. And you’re an ass. You haven’t spoken to me in how long and now you want me to push drugs for you?
Dabi: Yeah yeah, we’ll talk about it tomorrow
The door to the laundry room opens and her head turns quickly. Oh finally. Bakugou strolls in on his crutches, some piece of paper in his mouth. He spits the paper out on top of another dryer, it looks like a doctor’s note. The doctor's office….without his crutches beforehand? “Shitty hair told me you’re doing my laundry?”
“Where were you?” She asks. “Kiri and Denki said you were in a meeting with your professor...that’s a doctor’s note.” Himiko’s eyes narrow into angry slits. Is he trying to pull one over her? Does he think she’s really that stupid?
“Yeah so obviously I was at the fucking doctor’s.”
“You didn’t have your crutches.” She growls.
“I don't fucking need them...at least I act like I don’t. They reamed me out over it if it makes you feel better.” It doesn’t. She’s not buying that. She pushes herself off the dryer and grabs the front of his shirt, sniffing him. He shrugs her off, pushing her away. “The fuck are you doing?”
“Why do you smell like another girl?”
“It’s a female doctor, stupid! What, you wanna smell my dick next?”
“Whip it out, maybe!” She shouts back, shoving him. Toga’s hands grab at the collar of his shirt and yank, tearing the fabric. His crutches clatter to the ground when he lets go of them in favor of grabbing her wrists to pull her off of him. It’s not his arms with injuries, just his ankle and that’s not enough to make him weaker than her by any means. He overpowers her easily, wrestling her hands down by her side and shoving her up against the dryer. She squirms around in his grasp, sniveling while she cries.
When she was little and crying and her father was trying to wrangle her she would just go slack in his grasp. She always heard that playing possum was the best way to avoid death and it’s not death, but being controlled is annoying. Whenever she played possum he would just get exhausted with her antics and give up. So she resorts to her old ways and slumps like dead weight in Katsuki’s hands. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He hisses at her.
“Sad.” She murmurs, sniffling. “You cheated on me.”
“Cheated?” He sighs and let’s her slump completely down to the floor. Bakugou lowers himself down to the floor next, massaging his ankle a little. “Toga...I was at the doctor’s okay? I didn’t take my crutches because I was trying to prove something... I fucked up and probably earned myself another week on these, but I didn’t cheat on you?”
“But Setsuna said-“
“Setsuna’s a fucking asshole, she just said that to piss you off….why did you even talk to her? Are you checking on me now?”
Well she wouldn’t have to if he didn’t make her feel insecure about. If he had just been in his room then she wouldn’t have had to check on him...and they wouldn’t have had this fight. She pulls her legs up to her chest and wraps her legs around them. “I moved into your room.” She mumbles into her knees. “Rachel and Miki were being mean to me, they made me feel stupid so I moved out.”
“You...you moved into my room? What, you couldn’t just change dorms?”
“I did.” She looks over at him, pouting. “I changed into your dorm.” Bakugou scoffs, dragging a hand through his hair. “I left for you...they were being mean to me because of you.” She tells him.
He doesn’t say anything, he’s probably not going to say anything. She’s already made an ass of herself to her friends and if she goes running back now she’ll look like an even bigger idiot. The dryer beeps behind her signaling that his clothes are done. She crawls onto her knees and reaches up for his basket to start unloading his clothes. She slaps his note on top of the pile of warm clothes and waits for him to gather his bearings and get up so they could go to his room where he’ll inevitably make her pack and leave.
When they make it back to his room she sets the basket down next to his dresser. She watches him quietly as he strips off the ruined shirt, tossing it in the garbage. His shoes and pants come off next and he sits on his bed examining his swollen ankle. Toga leaves to go grab an ice pack for him. She props his ankle up on a pillow and gently sets the ice up there for him. “What’d they say to you?” He questions. “About me.”
“That you’re abusive and mean.” She whispers. “I don’t think you’re abusive. And I already knew you were mean already, sometimes you can just be a nasty person. But I just..I thought you would just learn to be nicer to me, I thought I could teach you to be nicer to me because…”
“Because..?” He pushes.
“Because I thought I could teach you to love me..by being a good girl like you said. And because I’m a considerably good person. But then I messed up, I don’t know what I did, but you’re obviously upset with me.”
“Yeah well you thought I slept with Setsuna too. You were wrong about that.”
“Then why’d you say that mean thing about me last night and why are your vibes so shitty right now?”
“Are you still on about that?” He frowns. “It was a joke, let it go. And I’m just frustrated right now that you’re questioning my flings about me and lastly, you..you can’t teach someone how to love you. If they love you then they just love you and if they don’t then they don’t.”
“Everything is learned, Bakugou.” Himiko looks around the room, searching for something, his soccer ball. It’s under his desk. She hops up, grabbing it and tossing it around lightly in her hands. “The first time you played soccer? You didn’t just like it right? You learned to love it. Your first girlfriend, she was probably really cute and you liked her a lot, but you didn’t love her. You had to learn about her, learn the things you love about her, right?”
Bakugou raises a skeptical eyebrow to her silently asking what her point is. Her point is that she’s right. She’s been right since day one about them and she can continue to be right. These things just take time, that’s all. Why does that seem like such a far fetched idea to everyone? Why does someone falling in love with her seem like such a far fetched idea?
He’s going to get sick of her crying all the time, he’s gonna get sick of all her whining and complaining. This is just not a good day for her energy wise. “If I let you stay will you stop crying?” She nods.
She agrees. “I won't be annoying and I’ll make sure I clean up after myself. It won’t be forever I guess, probably just until the end of the semester.” She’ll be happier if she gets to stay. She’ll be close to him at all times, he won’t be able to worry her by running off. The more time he spends around her, the more he’ll get used to her, to her body. She has no idea how many chances she has left with this guy, but this could very well be her last one and she just really needs to make this work. To prove everyone wrong. She’s not crazy, insane. She’s not some statistic with daddy issues. She’s a normal, pretty girl that deserves to be happy...that’s all.
“So...can I ask you what you’re actually doing with her?” Kirishima whispers as he and Bakugou peek into his bedroom, watching her sleep soundly on his bed.
“Well...she claimed she wanted to be my bitch so..I’m letting her be my bitch.”
“Dude. That’s harsh.” Kaminari comments. Bakugou looks back over his shoulder to tell him to fuck off. The fucking idiot is rolling joints on his damn table again, he always leaves such a mess. “I’m just saying she seems like an okay girl. Kind of whacky, but like I said, I’d be with her if you don’t wanna be.”
“Wrong, you said you’d do her. Just doing her and putting up with her on the daily is different.” He scoffs.
Kirishima pulls the door shut quietly and they walk into the sitting room, Bakugou crashing into the couch next to the other blonde. The redhead remains standing pacing slowly back and forth. “Bro... I don’t understand.” He confesses.
Kaminari offers Bakugou a hit, normally he would decline because he has to stay in healthy for soccer, but he can’t play anyways so why not? Besides, Himiko has just shaken up his world again by moving into his room so why not get high? “Don’t understand what?”
“You.” He blurts. “I mean jeez c’mon Bakugou, so she has a really big crush on you. Is that any reason to treat her like dirt? I didn’t feel good lying to her for you earlier today.”
“Neither did I for the record.” Denki adds, coughing up smoke.
“I don’t recall asking either of you to? If anything you made it worse. She freaked the fuck out, tore my shirt open, wanted to smell my dick. It was weird, she’s weird.”
“No she’s paranoid because...well you’re cheating on her!”
“Why does everyone keep saying that? I haven’t slept with anyone. I was at a doctor’s appointment.”
“Lying isn’t manly dude.”
“Tch, well that’s great, because I’m not lying.” He spits, rolling his eyes. Okay he’s always known Kirishima is big on, like, morals and shit but could he roll off his fucking back a little bit? His personal life is his business and nobody else’s. “If you two assholes care about her so much, then take her if you think you can. Until then, as far I’m concerned she’s still mine to play with.”
“But just why? Like what is the honest to fuck reason why you hate her so much? She cooks for you, she cleans for you, she babies you, I’ve walked in on her giving you one of those blowjobs you seem to enjoy so much. Katsuki, she’s a good person to you, she just wants you to be nice and like her..why is that so hard for you?”
Why? Because of something he’ll never admit to his friends, ever. He’s already in love with someone else. Allow him to take you back on a trip down memory lane. Picture, freshman year high school when that anger of his was still at an all time high. After one school fight too many he finally had to pay for his behavior and he paid in 150 community service hours.
That’s where he met her, a fellow high school hard head that got pinched for illegal use and possession of marijuana. He didn’t give a shit about her at first, she was just someone to hang out with and talk to while he had to finish up all his hours. But the more he hung out with the more her weird ass phrases and euphemisms stuck to him, the more her beauty struck him, and the more he wanted to be around her.
He just thought it was puppy love, wanting to be around her all the time. Getting jealous when she hooked up with someone that wasn’t him. Thinking about her all the time. He’d never felt that way about anyone and at that time no one else really thought he was worth pursuing anyways. Too much of an angry douche or some bullshit like that.
Anyways, this girl was different. She didn’t like how angry he was all the time, but she put up with it and he had no problem making it easier for her by taming himself a little bit more. He gave his virginity to that girl, bought her nice shit, took her out on dates, called her every night. He really wanted her to be his girlfriend. He would have taken so much care of her. But she didn’t want him.
She wanted stupid fucking Todoroki. He should’ve never taken her to that party, but he did and that was ultimately his undoing. Todoroki was hot, mysterious, and emotionally unavailable which apparently makes him the entire fucking package for the one girl he wanted. He probably could have had a real shot with her if Todoroki had just ...never existed. But now that she knows about him, he’s all she wants. Even if he made it clear that he was never interested in her and even though he has a girlfriend now.
He had the perfect opportunity to let her go and move on with his life, but she’s in fucking college with him now. It’s hard to cut someone out of your life when you see them everyday, sit next to them in classes, live just one floor above them. He’s got seven years under his belt with this girl, seven long lust and love filled years and that’s really hard to just forget.
Now back to the present where he’s still simping hard for her, like some fucking nerd. That’s it, that’s why he’s so hateful towards Himiko. Why should she get to have a perfect little love fantasy when the girl he loves doesn’t love him back? Her love is in the way of his love and he doesn’t want someone like her. Someone who cries all the time, someone who’s desperate to please and too stupid to realize when she’s in a bad spot. Someone who can’t tell that the person she loves will never love her back….”oh fuck.” He exhales, dragging his hands through his hair. Is this him? Is this him he’s screwing over? Is he fucking mad at himself? Or does this give him another reason to be mad at her for making him feel that way about himself? Like he’s the idiot for lusting after someone who doesn’t want him?
Kirishima is still talking to him, but he’s on his own mission now, a new mission. He hobbles up and starts for the doorway, but then stops and remembers his stupid crutches. They’re in the room with Himiko though so he’s gotta be very quiet. It’s a good thing she’s a heavy sleeper, just laying there in his bed, snoring away with her damn face mask on like this is some luxury getaway for her.
“I’ll be back.” He tells his friends as he starts leaving the room.
“Where the hell are you going?” He’s going to talk to his girl, his real girl and see if he can find some silver lining to this. He just has to make sure he’s not as crazy as the chick upstairs in his room.
It’s late, but he knows she’s not sleeping. She always crashes at 4, no earlier. “Open up!” He shouts, banging on her door. The doorknob turns and the door opens slowly, revealing her in dim lighting. Light brown hair a mess, pretty doe eyes rimmed red from her irresponsible sleep cycle, a thin smile on her lips.
“Hey, Bakubae, ‘sup fam?”
“Camie. We need to talk.” He grunts at her. “I need you to tell me right now is there any possible chance of us...of this just not being some stupid fuck buddy situation?”
She gasps quietly and then chuckles nervously, brushing some of her hair behind her ears. “Fam, is this about earlier today?” Before you say anything, he didn’t lie about his activities earlier today, not completely. He hung out with Camie before his doctor’s appointment, they didn’t sleep together..like there was no penis to vagina penetration because he had other shit to do today. Also, everyone assumed he was with Tokage and he wasn’t.
“It’s about the last seven fucking years of my life and whether or not you’re ready to let go of some obtuse asshole that is never gonna be with you.”
“Wow...it’s the repetitive conversations for me bro.” She sighs.
“Would you speak like a regular person please?” He pleads. Her and this damn fad talk, it’s ridiculous. He rolls his shoulders and shifts his weight around on the crutches. “Look at least just tell me why. We’ve been doing this for almost ten years and nothing has ever changed...why?”
Camie groans softly and links her hands behind her back. “It’s not you Katsuki. I love you...as a friend. I think you’re a great guy and you lay great pipe, but…”
“But you want someone who’s in a relationship?”
“You are in a relationship!” She laughs. “And no this ain’t about Todo boy. Did you ever think that maybe I have other tastes too? I can’t explain it to you without sounding like a bitch, but I just..you and I are better off as we are.” As they are. So..she can screw him, take his money, accept his gifts, and go on dates with him, but she can’t accept an actual title as his girlfriend? What the actual fuck?
“Oh fuck you Utsushimi.” God he hates these crutches, they don’t help for making proper angry getaways. “You know what actually I won’t fuck you anymore!”
“Really bro?!”
“I’m not a fucking toy Camie,” he shouts over his shoulder. He realizes the irony in him saying this, doesn’t really care though because somehow they’re still different. He did a lot of shit for that ungrateful bitch who he will never speak to again and Toga hasn’t done shit for him to deserve him. This whole situation just makes him angrier, if that’s even possible. Misery loves company and he’s miserable right now, so he’ll use Toga as his company. He’ll just take from her everything Camie took from him until he feels like he’s gotten back everything he deserves...and then he’ll be done with her. Then he’ll be fine again.