Try Again
“Don’t fucking push her-“ Victorias voice is cut off and some people start saying “oh my god” is I look over to see her on the ground pressing a hand to the left side of her face. Taylor, Brooke, Stella, Alyssa, Courtney, and Kate are by her side asking if she’s okay.
I make my way over to her and try to help her up as Logan leans over, “I’m sorry, I didn’t me-“
I’m right in front of him and I kick him right in the balls. He falls over clutching himself and lets out a few whimpers.
By now everyone who was in the courtyard is surrounding us in a circle.
“I’m gonna go get security.” Kate says in a concerned tone before Victoria stops her.
She’s on her feet now, “No don’t, there’s no need to get them involved.”
“Are- Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.”
Zac’s up, still holding his stomach and his face red, and walking towards Logan. In between whimpers, Logan looks over at Zac, “She kicked me in the balls, man.” He has tears coming out of his eyes now.
Zac sounds winded when he replies, “I know, you shouldn’t have hit Vic.”
Logan looks over at Victoria and groans, “I’m sorry.”
Victoria, who now has a cut on her lip and a red mark on her cheek, responds in a sharp tone, “Don’t talk to me again.” And then she’s making her way towards the small trail by the tobanga that leads into the forest.
Kate, Taylor, Courtney, and I are now following her leaving behind the group that’s now began to thin out, leaving Logan there on the ground with Zac and Juliet standing beside him.
As we’re walking on the trail, I pull Victoria behind and let the other three girls go ahead of us. I reach into my bag and grab a tissue handing it to her.
She takes it and dabs it to her lip where the cut is, “Thanks.”
“Are you okay?” I don’t try to hid the concern in my voice.
“I’m fine.” She says it a little sharply, “Sorry, but yes I’m okay.” Her voice now softer.
“What did he do to you?”
“After I got in his face, he back handed me and I fell over. I deserved it.”
“Why, because you slapped him? He grabbed your arm first.” Now I sound a little mad.
“No not that.” She looks down at her feet as we keep walking.
“Then why do you think that?”
“For what I did to Kate and I deserve worse.” Her voice sounds… sad.
I try to reassure her, “Victoria, you know Kate doesn’t hate you and wouldn’t think you deserved that.”
She lets out a sigh, “You really think she believes that?”
“I do.”
“She hasn’t forgiven me yet.”
I few flashes of Kate in the hospital after her… accident, come to mind. Seeing Victoria’s apology card and Kate saying she believes in forgiveness. Why hasn’t she forgave her?
“I know you apologized but what did you do?”
She gives me a confused look, “What do you mean?”
“I mean did you go to her room or did you write her a letter?”
“No, I…” her voice trails off before she finishes.
I put a hand on her shoulder, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”
She hesitates for a moment, “I wrote her a short letter.”
“You should apologize again.” I say in a stern tone.
“You think that would help?”
“It definitely wouldn’t hurt, but do it when you two are alone.”
“If it’ll help. I Really have been trying to be nicer to people and some of them told me it was ‘Water under the bridge’ but I just want Kate to know how sorry I am.” She sounds wrecked.
“Redemption isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.” She gives me a puzzled look before I continue, “You we’re a bully and did something really bad stuff, among other things, which you’ll never be able to really get over, but as long as you keep doing what you have been, things can be better. I know you can be a good person.”
There’s a minute of silence before she says, “Thank you. That… really makes me feel better about this and I will apologize to Kate again- in private.”
She gives me a smile and I return it, “Watching you get in Logan’s face like that was kind of badass.”
She lets out a little laugh, “Oh yeah?” She motions to her face, “It definitely didn’t feel badass.”
“Trust me it was and I think you may have just showed some people that you have changed. Victoria Chase from two weeks wouldn’t have done something like that.”
“Like you said ‘It’s a journey’ and you’ve changed too.” Now it’s my turn to give her a confused look before she responds, “Max Caulfield from two weeks would not have kicked someone in the balls.” She bumps my shoulder with hers.
“Oh, yeah. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Well, thank you for standing up for me.”
“Him hitting my friend just made me mad.”
“Friend?” She sounds a little surprised.
“Yeah, you said we were friends. You did mean that, right?”
“Of course, I just didn’t think you felt the same way.”
“Well, after our coffee talk yesterday and what just happened, I wouldn’t be opposed to being friends.” I nudge her shoulder, “C’mon, let’s try and catch up.”
After a few minutes of walking we come to a clearing in the forest, we’re surrounded by a bunch of flowers, there’s some wildlife, there’s a few birds singing in the trees and there’s a clearing at the top, towards the sky, where a ray of sun comes through.
I’m the first to comment, “Wow, this is… beautiful.”
“How did you find this place, Kate?” Taylor comments as she pulls out her camera.
Kate looks a little embarrassed and shrugs, “After the video,” the other three girls visibly wince at the beginning of her statement before she continues, “I wanted to be alone so I went by the tobanga and saw the trail, so I followed it and ended up here. It’s very peaceful.” She takes out her sketchbook and colored pencils.
“Thank you for bringing us here.” Courtney says as she pulls out her camera, “This place is amazing.”
Kate smiles as she clears off a spot for herself to sit and she starts drawing. Victoria leans down beside her and whispers something I can’t exactly hear and Kate whispers something back I can’t make out either. Victoria turns back to me and gives me a smile and I return it. Now I’m pretty sure I know what that was about. Victoria wonders off and starts taking pictures of her own.
After taking a few pictures of the forest and birds I turn my attention to Kate who’s still focussed on her drawing. I focus on Kate and make sure she’s in frame. The shutter goes off and I examine the picture that comes out. That’s a good one.
Kate looks up at me, “Can I see it?”
“Absolutely.” I walk over to her and show her the picture.
Her face lights up in a smile, “I really like that.”
“Is it okay if I put it up on my wall?”
“Of course you can put it on your wall.”
I look over her shoulder at her drawing and she hurried up and closes it, she gives me a grin, “You’ll have to wait and see it.”
“Okay, fair enough.”
After a little while longer, and we’ve taken some pictures, Kate motions me to come over and shows me her drawing: it’s the forest from her perspective.
“Damn Kate, that’s amazing.”
“Thank you, Max.”
Victoria looks at all of us, “Is everybody ready to leave?” She quickly adds, “If not that’s okay.”
Courtney and Taylor look at each other before back at Victoria shaking their heads.
“I’ve finished my drawing, so I’m okay to leave.” Kate adds closing her sketchbook and putting her things away.
“Me too.”
I start putting William’s camera in my bag when Courtney chimes in, “We should take a picture, one of us all together.” She pulls out her phone.
We all gather together and Courtney hands her phone to Victoria. She reaches out her arm and we all smile at the camera, then she takes the picture.
“Oh hold on a second.” I reach into my bag and grab William’s camera and hand it to Victoria . “Could we take another one please?”
They all shake their heads and we’re back in the same poses and Victoria takes the picture. She takes the photo out and hands it to me. It looks really good.
As we’re heading back towards the dorms, Victoria says, “I never thought I’d be taking a selfie with the Selfie Queen of Blackwell.” We all let out a little laugh. Selfie Queen of Blackwell, that’s not so bad.
When we return to the dorms, the sun has started to set, and we all go our separate ways into our rooms. I pull the photos out of my bag from today and set them on my bed, then look up at my wall.
I start rearranging some of my photos and by the time I’m done, there’s a lot of room left. I make my way over to my desk and open my drawer and pull out a small box, inside are old photos of Chloe and I. After a few minutes of looking at them, I set the box down on my bed and begin putting them up. Then I grab the photos Joyce had given me and put them up too. I grab the photos taken from today and put them up. I back up and take in the pictures that now make up my wall.
A few minutes later, I hear my phone go off and I get a text:
Steph: I’ll be there at 10 tomorrow
Max: Okay, I’ll be ready. You won’t be with Mikey?
Steph: No, but he’ll be there, he just has to leave right after so he can give his dad’s car back. So it’ll just be the two of us, is that ok?
Max: Yeah, that’s ok. Do you wanna do something afterwards?
Steph: Sure, what did you have in mind?
Max: We could hang out in my dorm room, if you want
Steph: I’ll bring an extra pair of clothes
Max: Great
Before I even put my phone down, someone else texts me:
Dana: I heard about what happened earlier, is everyone ok?
Max: Victoria’s got a split lip and most likely going to have a black eye, other than that everyone’s fine
Dana: That’s a relief. I’m glad that nothing worse happened
Max: Me too, thank you for asking
I set my phone down and change into my pajamas, set my alarm for 8:30, and then make my way into bed and drift asleep.
There’s a lot of people at Rachel’s funeral, some people I know from Blackwell, a lot of people really cared about her. For the most part I hang around Steph and Mikey, occasionally talking to a few people from Blackwell.
After Rachel’s parents deliver a beautiful eulogy, we all make our way outside. As the casket is lowered into the ground I can’t help but think: Rachel didn’t deserve this. Chloe didn’t deserve this.
Beside me I hear a sniffle and look up to see Steph crying, I reach my hand over, take hers, and give it a little squeeze. She doesn’t look my way but she squeezes my hand.
After everybody starts making their way to their cars, I look over towards Chloe and William’s grave and see someone standing there.
“Hey, is it okay if I go see something really quick?”
Steph looks at me over the roof of the car with a small smile, “Yeah, take your time.”
“Thanks.”
I start making my over and as I get closer I see a figure in a black dress and hat.
“Hey, Joyce.”
She turns around a little startled before trying to give me a smile, “Hello, Max. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I wasn’t sure if I should’ve come.” I look back towards the building then at her. “I didn’t see you inside.”
“Oh, yeah I talked to James and Rose but other than that I wasn’t feeling very social. If I had seen you I would’ve talked to you.”
“That’s okay, how are you?”
“It’s… still hard.” She wipes the tears from her cheeks. “But how are you?”
“I still think about her, and it still hurts but I’ve been doing a little better.”
We stand there together in silence for a few minutes before she turns to me, “I should get back home before David starts to worry.”
“Can I walk back down with you?”
“I’d like that.”
When we reach the parking lot she pulls me into a hug and I wrap my arms around her too, after a minute she pulls away, “It was nice seeing you.”
I give her a smile, “You too.” And she starts walking off.
I walk over to Steph, who’s sitting in the car, and get in and buckle my seatbelt.
She looks over at me, “Everything okay?”
“Not entirely.”
Steph pulls into a parking space and grabs a bag from the back seat, we get out and start walking towards the girls dorms. When we get to the entrance, we spot Victoria, Taylor, and Courtney sitting on the steps leading into the building.
“Great.” I hear Steph mutter.
I grab her shoulder and stop her, “They’re actually nicer now.”
“Maybe to you.”
“Not just me, I promise. They used to harass me too, but then they apologized and I gave them a chance. They won’t be mean.”
She takes a deep breath, “Okay.”
We start making our way over and when we get to the steps they stand up.
Victoria gives me a smile and her eye is black and blue, her lip no longer bleeding but the cut still visible, “Hey, Max.” She looks from me to Steph. “And hey to you too, Steph.”
Steph is a little taken aback by Victoria’s appearance, “Hey Victoria.”
“I’m… really sorry about how I treated you when you were here.”
“I’m sorry too.” Taylor quickly adds. “We shouldn’t have treated you like that.”
Courtney chimes in, “I’m sorry as well. It was really shitty of us.”
Steph looks stunned and after a few seconds she finally responds, “Thank you for saying that. I… accept your apologies.” The three of them let out a small sigh of relief.
After a minute, Steph looks at Victoria, “Uhm, if you don’t mind me asking… what happened?”
“Oh, it was nothing.”
“Oh okay.”
“Don’t let us keep you.” Victoria, Taylor, and Courtney move to the side and let us through. “See you guys later.”
We wave back and before we close the door behind us, Victoria calls for me, “Hey Max, they sent out an email about what’s happening with classes.”
“Thanks, I’ll have to check it.”
“You can set your bag down next to mine.”
“Is it okay if I change really quick?”
“Yeah, I’m just going to check my email.”
She grabs her clothes and I sit down in my chair and pull up my email. Before I open up the most recent one, I peek over my shoulder and see Steph, her back towards me, in a white bra with matching boy-shorts and she’s trying to pull on a black pair of jeans… stop staring! I quickly turn my head and open the email:
Dear Blackwell Academy students,
Classes will resume on Monday, October 21st. Ms. Michelle Grant will be taking over as principal for the remainder of the 2013-2014 school year. Filling her position as our science teacher will be Mr. Dean Hayes, a transfer teacher from Arcadia Bay High School. As for the arts position, it will be filled by Ms. Patricia Reeves, she has previously worked as a teaching assistant at Geneiva Academy in St. Louis. We look forward to having you all back.
“What’d they say?” Steph’s right beside adjusting her red beanie, she has a red long sleeve shirt on to match.
“Oh, uhh, classes start back up on Monday, we have two new teachers and Ms. Grant is now the principal.” I quickly say.
She gives me a weird look then a little smile, “Good for Ms. Grant.”
“Yeah, she’s really cool.”
“Can also be pretty scary.”
“That’s… accurate. I’m gonna change really quick.” I get up and grab my clothes before I start changing.
Steph adds, “Don’t worry, I won’t peek.” And then she sits down on my desk chair and looks ahead at the wall.
“Okay, I’m dressed.”
She turns around and gets up, motioning towards my shirt, “That’s a cute doe.”
“Thanks.”
She turns her attention to my wall, “This is really cool. Did you take all of these?”
“No, not all of them.”
She puts to a picture with a smile, “Is that you and Chloe?”
“Yeah, Halloween 2002.”
“Who’s this?” She points to William.
“That’s William, Chloe’s dad.”
“She didn’t talk about him a whole lot but when she did… he sounded like a great dad.”
“He was.”
After a minute of silence, she points to a selfie of Warren and I, “I think Brooke had a huge crush on him.”
“Still does, there actually dating now.”
“Did she actually ask him?”
“No, he… wanted to ask me out but I didn’t like him that way so I told him he should maybe ask Brooke.”
Steph raises her eyebrows, “Playing matchmaker, huh?”
I let out a little laugh, “I guess so.”
She points at the photo I took of Kate yesterday, “Who’s this?”
“That’s my friend, Kate.”
“She looks… peaceful.”
“She is very much so.”
Steph asks me more about the different photos and for about an hour or so, we sit on my bed talking about them.
“What do you think?” I ask her as we sit on my bed facing each other.
“It’s pretty amazing.”
“Thanks.”
“When did you get into photography?”
“Uhm, when I was about 8. William had an instant camera and one day he showed Chloe and I how to use it and then I just really got into it. What about you? When did you get into game design?”
“It wasn’t a specific age but I like playing video games, I really likebeing the Dungeon Master, and I used to do the stage design and setup for the school plays so I guess it was a mix of all those.”
“I have heard about how into being the Dungeon Master you can get.”
“Hey, it’s my job to make things difficult.”
“Okay, okay. Good point.”
“Do you want to do a one-shot? I could make one for you.”
“Uhh, I don’t know if I’d be able to make it through.”
“C’mon, I won’t make it to difficult, promise.”
I think about it for a minute before answering, “Okay, I’ll try it.”
“Awesome, because I actually brought you something.” She gets up and returns a moment later with a few character sheets.
“You actually brought character sheets?” I can’t help but laugh. “I feel like I’m gonna regret this.”
“You won’t, it’ll be fun! Trust me.”
“I’ll trust you…” I add with a smile, “for now.”
“Okay so no pressure.”
“None at all.”
She hesitates a moment, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, what is it?”
“What was Chloe like when you two were younger?”
“…”
“Sorry, yo-“
“No, it’s okay. She was very… energetic. Like she always had to be moving, even when she was sitting down. She was also really smart, kind, creative, and an amazing best friend.”
“That sounds like the Chloe I knew too.”
I lower my head, “Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah, anything.”
“I’m scared… of going back. I knew I would have to go back but reading that email just… I don’t know, made it more real. It’s dumb.” I can feel the tears forming but I don’t try to stop them.
“Hey, it is not dumb, and you’re not the only one who would be scared to go back. It’ll be hard at first, but you’re strong and you will be able to get through it. It’ll just take time.”
After a minute, I whisper loud enough, “I miss her a lot.”
After a few minutes of silence, she reaches over and wipes the tears from my cheeks, “I miss her too.”
I look up at her, “How are you doing?”
She slowly moves her hand away and returns it to her lap, “I think about her and Rachel and sometimes… it makes me cry. They didn’t deserve what happened to them. I just wish I could’ve told them how much their friendship meant to me.”
A few tears starts falling from her cheek and it’s my turn to wipe them away for her, “I’m sure they know how much they meant to you.”
There’s a knock at the door and I don’t get up but I raise my voice, “Who is it?”
A soft voice comes from the other side, “It’s Kate.”
I look back at Steph, “I’ll be back in a sec.”
“Okay.”
I slowly move my hand away and get up, walk toward the door and open it, “Hey Kate, what’s going on?”
“I just wanted to tell you something.” She looks past me and at Steph sitting on my bed then back at me. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you had company.”
I step to the side, “Kate, this is Steph. Steph, this is Kate.”
Kate waves, “Hello.”
Steph gives her a smile and waves back, “Hey.”
I look back at Kate and lower my voice, “Are you okay?”
She lowers her voice to match, “Yes, I’m okay. I just wanted to tell you about what happened with Victoria early.”
Before I can respond Steph walks over to us, “I can leave if you two need to talk.”
Kate puts her hand up, “No, that’s okay. I was actually just about to practice my violin. It was nice meeting you.”
“Nice meeting you too.”
“Bye, Max.”
“Bye, Kate.” She turns around and walks towards her room.
I pull out my phone and check the time-6:34, “Do you want pizza?”
“Pizza sounds good.”
“Pepperoni?”
“Double pepperoni?”
“That’s… even better. You okay with a 2 liter of coke?” We both make our way over onto my bed and sit down, facing each other.
“I definitely am.”
After hanging up, she looks over at me, “How much was it?”
“Since you’re mom got us dinner the other night, I’ll get the pizza.”
“Okay and next time I’ll pay.”
“Are we just gonna go back and forth?”
She considers it for a second, “I guess we will. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“What happened to Victoria’s face?”
“I don’t think it’s a secret but you can’t say anything just in case.”
“I won’t.”
“So yesterday we were leaving to go take some pictures…”
After about ten minutes of me telling her the events about what happened yesterday, she sits there a moment, “Okay, that’s fucked up.”
“It is.”
“And you kicked him in the balls?”
“I… did.”
“That part I would’ve liked to see.” We both let out a laugh. “Let this be a warning to the guys at Blackwell: Don’t mess with Max.”
My phone goes off from a text:
Warren: Brooke told me what happened yesterday, that was pretty cool what you did.
Max: It wasn’t anything special
Warren: Maybe not to you but to the people he bullied, it was. So thank you.
Max: No thanks necessary, really.
“Sorry, it was Warren.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“Pizza should be here in a few minutes, want to wait outside with me?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
We’re halfway through our pizza when Steph motions over to my guitar, “How often do you play?”
“Not to often.”
“Could you play for me sometime?”
“I’m not very good.”
“I bet you are. What if you think about it?”
“I will, but no promises though.”
“I’ll take it.” She finishes her remaining slice of pizza and looks at her phone, “It’s almost nine-thirty, I should get back so I can wake up at a reasonable time.”
We both get up and I look down at the box, “Do you want to take that with you as a ‘road snack’?”
She perks up a little bit, “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Yes, thank you.”
I close the box and pick it up while she grabs her back, “I can walk to your car with you?”
She gives me a smile, “I definitely won’t say no.”
She opens her car door and throws her bag in the back and puts the pizza box in the passenger seat. She turns around, “I’m really hoping you’ll say yes about letting me listen to you play your guitar.”
“I promise I’ll really think about it.”
She holds up her crossed fingers, “I’ll be waiting.”
I smile, “Okay, and you have to give me a chance with this one-shot so I don’t immediately die.”
Now she’s smiling, “It’ll be hard… but I think I can do it.”
“I had a good time tonight.”
“Me too. Text me and let me know how your first day back is.”
“I will.”
“And you can before that to, if you want.”
“I definitely will.”
“Great.”
I hold out my arms and give her a hug and she returns the gesture, after a minute we break apart.
“Bye, Max.”
“Bye, Steph.”
After a moment she’s gone.
As I’m walking back to my room, I pause in front of Kate’s door. Maybe she still wants to talk. I raise my fist and knock on the door. A few seconds later Kate answers.
“Hey Kate, do you still want to talk?”