They're Just Friends...Right?

“You can do this, Asami. Don’t back down now.” 

Asami anxiously paced around a chamber of the Southern Royal Palace. Like the rest of the palace, its icy walls were adorned with tapestries bearing the tribal insignia. In the center of the chamber hung a golden chandelier, the sole source of lighting. Unlike the other rooms, this one was scarcely furnished, save for a few cypress chairs stacked in the corner. From that, the heiress surmised this space was used as a breakout room for diplomats during large conferences and the like. 

In the 24 hours following Harmonic Convergence, world leaders had worked tirelessly to negotiate the terms of the Southern Water Tribe’s sovereignty. It was already well past midnight. Somewhere down the hall, Tenzin was updating President Raiko on the progress made during the peace talks earlier that day, while Tonraq and his council busied themselves finalizing the tribe’s new constitution. Missing from these stately discussions, however, was the Avatar, who took a well-deserved rest in a secluded location, far, far away from the action. 

Upon thinking of the “action” Korra had seen yesterday, Asami’s heart ached for her friend. In a matter of minutes, thousands of her past lives, whom she had barely begun to know, were wiped from this plane of existence. Asami knew from stories that the Avatar’s past lives were more than a source of guidance. They were a quintessential part of Korra—one that had literally been ripped out of her. 

Asami scolded herself through gritted teeth, “Why are you so useless?” 

There were few moments in her life when she regretted being a nonbender, but yesterday had been one of them. She hated that she was defenseless in the Spirit World. She hated that she couldn’t fight alongside her friends. She hated that she had been reduced to ferrying rags in the healing hut while her loved ones lay their lives on the line, dreading with every passing minute that she may never see them again.

Asami took a deep breath and exhaled. 

As she watched her breath dissipate into the air, she reflected on the challenges that lay ahead of Korra. Despite the fact she saved the world, people would still blame her for breaking the Avatar cycle, criticize her decision to open the portals, and worst of all, make the young Avatar doubt herself. If there was anything Asami could do to lessen her friend’s burden, Asami would in a heartbeat. 

And that was exactly what she was about to do.

Footsteps rang out from the corridor. The tapping of boots against the frozen floor grew louder and louder until their owner arrived. He paused at the entrance. Asami followed the spiky-haired shadow he cast from the ground up until she met the amber eyes of her former lover. 

“Mako,” Asami greeted curtly. 

“Hey, Asami,” the firebender replied as he closed the distance between them. Behind the weariness in his low-timber voice, there was a hint of regret. “I came clean to Korra, and I broke up with her...again.” 

About time, Asami thought, unable to control her ensuing eye roll. Mako gulped and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “And, uh, I realized something else too, something I need to tell you.”  

It took all of Asami’s willpower to hold back her scoff. Any situation requiring an ounce of emotional insight from the stoic teenager had only ever imploded into one-sided (her side) heartbreak. At this point, she was out of headspace for him. Just as she was about to tell him off, the firebender looked her straight in the eye and said the last thing she expected.

“You deserve better than me.”

I-I what? Asami’s mind screeched to a halt. For a second, she wondered if she had accidentally ingested cactus juice for dinner. That possibility, though, was quickly ruled out given her otherwise normal senses. 

“When we broke up, I knew I had lingering feelings for you. Since I never resolved them before diving into a relationship with Korra, I tried to avoid you because I knew something would happen if we were ever alone...And it did.”

Asami stared at him incredulously as the man of few words delineated his thoughts. As forthcoming as he was being, he still hadn’t answered the main question on her mind.  It was one that had been gnawing at her since the day she discovered his infidelity in the Equalist hideout. One that she had asked herself repeatedly during her lowest points and cratered her self-esteem. 

“I just don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough for you the first time?” 

Tears began welling up in her eyes. Through her blurry vision, she saw Mako’s expression shift from shocked to saddened. The seconds it took for him to gather his thoughts felt like eons to her. When he finally spoke, Asami’s entire body tensed up in anticipation.

“It wasn’t that at all. When we started dating, we were total strangers, so I never fully felt comfortable around you. I felt like I was always putting up an act for Miss Sato.”

His admission was like a punch to the gut, yet even as she reeled from the pain, she couldn’t disagree. Almost everyone she had ever met treated her as if she was a trophy on a pedestal, and to some extent, she had viewed the captain of the Fire Ferrets as a celebrity of sorts as well. They had both donned masks for the sake of looking good to those around them,, and it occurred to Asami that this was the first time they had ever talked without their masks. 

“Korra and I were friends before we became girlfriend/boyfriend, so even if we didn’t work out, I know we did things the right way.” Mako chose his words carefully, fully aware he was treading dangerous waters. “To some extent, I feel like you and I could still do the same, but after seeing how upset you were after Korra kissed me, I can’t play you like this anymore.”

A lump formed in Asami’s throat at the last sentence. She quickly swallowed the dangerous words she was about to utter. 

I wasn’t upset that she kissed you; I was upset that it was you and not me. 

 At the memory, Asami felt a pang in her chest. It had hurt to see Korra rush into Mako’s arms, to see her greet him so much more enthusiastically than she had greeted Asami upon her return. It had pained Asami to see Korra look at Mako as if he was the most important thing in the world, because that was how the older girl longed for Korra to look at her. Witnessing Korra kiss Mako so passionately confirmed what Asami had long suspected.

Asami Sato had feelings for the Avatar. 

And Mako? Mako was nothing short of an afterthought. 

Asami bit her lip as Mako stared at her, anxiously awaiting a response. As erroneous as his assessment had been, she just couldn’t bring herself to confess her newfound feelings to him, especially since she had not done so to Korra. She had to admit, though, she was impressed by his candidness. He had finally given her the closure she needed with their relationship, something he could not do six months ago. 

That, she concluded, merited some concession on her part.

“Since you’re coming clean, I might as well too.” A bead of sweat trickled down Asami’s forehead as she mustered the courage to speak her own truth. “I don’t have feelings for you anymore and I never did.”

Mako’s eyebrows perked up in surprise. “Oh, that was unexpected...” He trailed off. The firebender opened and closed his mouth several times. After scratching his head for a few seconds, he finally spoke. “Can I ask why you, you know, kissed me then?” 

 Asami buried her face in her hand. Don’t remind me, she thought as she shuddered at the memory. “I-I got caught up in the heat of the moment at the warehouse. I thought there was still something there, but after we started dating again—”

“You realized there wasn’t but didn’t say so because you were afraid it would hurt the other person?” 

Asami peeked out from between her fingers. The shock on her face elicited a chuckle from the firebender. So that’s how he felt too. With that realization, Asami felt an invisible weight lift off her chest. In the strangest of ways, as they were breaking up again, she felt closer to Mako than she ever had before. 

“Look, we both led each other once, so how about we call it even?” Mako extended his gloved hand, the first olive branch he had offered since their fallout. Asami smiled at the gesture. With the hand that she had previously been hiding behind, she gratefully accepted his offer.

“It’s getting late. We should call it a night,” Mako stated.

Asami nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”

Mako was the first to move, and she followed his lead out of the chamber. Besides the occasional inquiry about Varrick’s whereabouts and the police’s plan to track him, the two walked in a comfortable silence down the seemingly endless corridors. After a few minutes, Mako unexpectedly stopped in his tracks. Pivoting around, Asami saw him unlocking the door to a hole-in-the-wall room. 

“You’re not sleeping in an office, are you?”

“No, I have some paperwork for Beifong I’d like to finish first,” Mako explained with a yawn. He cracked open the door and half-stepped inside. Before closing it, he flashed her a smile. “I’m glad we had this talk tonight.”

“Me too.” That much, she meant. She hadn’t imagined leaving this conversation finally at peace with their tumultuous history. Asami felt free, free of the guilt she had over rekindling their relationship and free to pursue the real person of her desires.

Now that both Korra and I are done with Mako, I can tell her— 

“Besides, I think we can all agree that Team Avatar’s better off without any romance.” 

Mako’s voice cut straight through her thoughts and punctured her chest—leaving her feeling utterly hollow. Whatever disappointment she had felt during their breakup was nothing compared to this. She could accept her incompatibility with him as a bitter truth, but spirits, did she want to fight his insinuation that she and Korra were doomed to begin with.

Her visceral reaction apparently did not go unnoticed by the cop, because the next moment, Mako was hovering over her. “Asami, are you okay?” He scanned over her features worriedly, causing Asami to retreat from his scrutinizing gaze.

“I-I’m fine! Just really exhausted is all,” Asami stammered. Mako stared at her quizzically, unconvinced by her poor acting. Before the detective could question her further, Asami bid him an abrupt good night and quickly excited the scene of the crime.

Asami sped down the hallway as if to put distance between herself and her ex’s stinging words. The teen kept her watering eyes fixed on the ground as everything in her peripheral vision faded into a blue blur. How unfair was it that her feelings for Korra were shot down immediately after she realized them? Why shouldn’t she confess? Just because the girls’ respective relationships with the firebender failed didn’t mean one between them would.

Asami became so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn’t even notice the person rounding the corner until it was too late.

“What the—” 

“Ow!”

They simultaneously exclaimed upon collision. The sheer force of the impact brought Asami back to her senses. After catching herself against the wall, she looked around to see which unfortunate soul she had toppled over. To her misfortune, it was none other than the son of Avatar Aang himself.

“I’m so sorry, Tenzin! I didn’t see you.” Asami apologized as she helped him up. 

Once he was on his feet, Asami dipped her upper body in a deep bow. Upon the gesture, Tenzin nodded in acceptance before motioning Asami to rise. “It’s quite alright. It’s been a long day for you too.” Luckily for her, he didn’t press further on what exactly had her so rattled in the first place.

 In a feeble attempt to get her mind off her talk with Mako, Asami pivoted the conversation towards world affairs. “How did it go with President Raiko?”

Tenzin let out an exasperated sigh. “Apparently, the spirit vines from Harmonic Convergence haven’t gone away. Raiko wants Korra out of commission immediately to take care of the issue.”

“That’s insane!” The audacity of this President was utterly infuriating. How this man had been elected to represent nonbenders like her was beyond Asami. “He doesn’t get to do nothing then order Korra around like she’s his personal servant.”

“Don’t worry. I made it very clear I won’t allow anyone to pester Korra for the next few days.” Tenzin placed both hands on her shoulders, and the tension in her muscles dissipated underneath their warmth. “I have Korra’s best interests at heart, just like you.” 

The sincerity with which he spoke caused Asami to release a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. “Thank you, Tenzin.”

The air nomad smiled. “You two have gotten close lately.” 

“Yeah,” Asami muttered softly. He wasn’t implying a romantic connection, but it still caused Asami’s cheeks to flush a deep shade of red. Tenzin, however, didn’t seem to notice and continued to ponder aloud.

“I’m glad she has you to confide in.” Tenzin gazed off into the distance, as if he could see the southern portal through the frozen walls of the palace. The airbending master spoke with a gravity beyond that of his normal demeanor. “The Avatar’s job is only going to get more difficult from now on, and one thing is clear, Korra cannot afford any distractions.”

Tenzin’s words were like a sledgehammer smashing through the glassy mirage of her fantasy. As the floor fell out from beneath her dreamland, Asami came crashing back down to reality. Tenzin continued to talk, but whatever the monk said was lost on her as she reflected on her internal crisis. 

Korra can’t afford any distractions. 

Yes, of course. How could Asami have been so selfish? The world had literally just entered a new era. Everyone from merchants to monarchs was looking to the Avatar to guide them. Wars, famines, natural disasters—there was already plenty that could distract the Avatar from the monumental task of creating a new spiritual order. The last thing she needed was to be burdened with a teenager's petty crush.

Asami’s heart dropped at her realization. Despite her feelings for Korra, Korra did not belong to her. Being with the Avatar meant sharing her with the world, and right now, the world needed her more. For now, Asami resolved to be her partner in battle and shoulder to cry on. She would prop Korra up when the universe tried to drag her down, remind her of her own might when she lost sight of it, and be the best friend she needed during these trying times. If Asami helped Korra save the world, then surely the world would reward her with a period of calm, one in which she could finally explore her feelings with Korra. 

All she had to do was wait until then.