Not there anymore
Korra loved the feeling of the wind whipping her hair as Naga lopped across the tundra. The sensation of snowflakes melting against her skin brought a smile to her already numb face. For the first time since they arrived at the South Pole, Korra felt at peace. Well, actually she wasn’t at peace. She was absolutely overflowing with joy.
Thirty minutes ago, Korra had been peering down a cliff, pondering whether her short time as the Avatar had come to an end—whether she should endit. The moment she stared into the dark waters below had been the lowest point in her life, but it was the moment that allowed her to find him. Aang, along with all her past lives, had come to her. They restored her bending, and for the first time, she entered the Avatar state.
Korra had never felt something so exhilarating before. The rush of power coursing through her veins as she bent the four elements was impossible to describe. It was a privilege few could ever experience, and for the first time, she truly felt grateful to be the Avatar. When she descended back to the ground, she was sure nothing could make her happier. That was, until she saw Mako behind her, awestruck by her might. It was then that Korra remembered his confession. She did the only thing she could think of, the thing that she had been dreaming of ever since they first crossed paths.
She leapt into his arms and kissed him.
Korra blushed at the memory of their passionate exchange. Her giddiness was only exacerbated by the fact the firebender currently had his arms wrapped around her waist.
“I can’t wait to see the look on everyone’s faces when we get back. Do you really think you can restore Lin’s bending?” Mako asked, cautiously optimistic.
“I can’t say for sure, but I have a good feeling about this,” Korra replied.
“I believe in you,” Mako reassured her as he pecked her cheek.
Korra smiled at his show of affection. Despite his hard-edge, the firebender had a soft side, one she hoped to see more of. “Thanks,” she whispered as she slapped the reins on Naga, urging the polar bear dog to run faster.
Slowly, the vast white expanse disappeared behind them, replaced by the plowed roads, igloos, and tents of nearby villages. Eventually, the trio arrived at the Compound, and upon spotting them, the White Lotus sentries raised the gates immediately.
As Naga crossed the Compound, Korra spotted Tenzin and Jinora anxiously pacing around outside of the healing hut.
“Korra, you’re back!” Jinora shouted, alerting her father to the Avatar’s presence.
“Korra, are you alright?” Tenzin panicked.
“I’m fine, Tenzin. In fact, I—ahh!”
Naga skidded to an abrupt halt, catapulting her riders into a pile of snow beside the airbending master. Not the graceful return I was hoping for, Korra thought to herself. Tenzin helped her out of the pile, and Mako regained his wits shortly afterwards. While dusting herself off, Korra noticed Jinora was gone, presumably off to tell the others the news.
“How are you feeling, Korra?” Tenzin asked again.
“Tenzin, you wouldn’t believe what happened! I met Avatar Aang!” Korra gushed.
“Y-You connected to your past lives?” He gasped.
“Not just that! I entered the Avatar state, and Aang gave me my bending back! He showed me how to energybend, and I have a feeling I’ll be able to restore everyone else’s bending too. Aww man, I wish you could’ve been there. It was incredible.”
“It really was,” Mako added.
Mako wrapped his arm around Korra’s shoulder and smiled at her lovingly. Tenzin’s eyes darted between the two teens. It didn’t take long for him to piece together what had happened, but before he could comment, the door burst open.
“Korra! Don’t you ever run off like that again! Pabu and I were so worried about you!”
“Sweetheart, you nearly gave your father and I a heart attack.”
“And what’s this I hear about grandpa Aang? Did you meet him? Did you tell him about me? Does he like being called Gramp Gramp?”
Suddenly, Korra was surrounded by her family and friends, barraging her with questions and scolding her from all sides. Even if they meant well, it proved just a bit overwhelming.
“Everyone, please quiet down!” Korra commanded.
The crowd settled and listened intently.
“No questions for now. Just try not to freak out...Long story short, I connected to my past lives, who gave me my bending back, entered the Avatar state, and I think I can restore Amon’s victims’ bending, but I’m gonna need a spiritual place and a test subject, so does anyone know where Chief Beifong is?”
By the end of her verbal marathon, everyone was staring at her dumbfounded. She couldn’t blame them for needing time to process the information, but the silence was starting to make her anxious. Someone please say something, so I know I haven’t lost my mind, Korra prayed.
“I think she went to the gym to let off steam.”
Fuck.
Korra recognized that voice immediately and came crashing down from her high. Soon, all feelings of pride were replaced by panic. In her excitement, she had completely forgotten one critical fact: she had officially stolen Asami’s boyfriend.
“Well, there’s no time to waste. I’ll talk to Lin. Tonraq, any ideas on a spiritual location?” Tenzin asked, stroking his beard.
“There’s an old temple just outside the city. Senna and I will prepare a carriage,” Tonraq replied.
“Then it’s settled. Korra, wait here while I find Lin. Everyone, get ready. We leave immediately,” Tenzin instructed.
The crowd slowly dispersed, beginning with Tenzin and Korra’s parents. After exchanging a few words, Katara, Pema, and the children headed back into the hut, leaving just the members of Team Avatar.
As soon as the door closed behind them, the atmosphere grew tense. Without the others around, Asami had a clear view of the new couple. Mako had a hand on Korra’s waist, and Korra was tucked into his side. After seeing Asami’s crestfallen expression, Korra immediately teared herself away from the firebender. For a brief moment, the girls’ gazes met. A pit formed in Korra's stomach upon seeing Asami’s emerald eyes, glistened with the tears she was holding back. It was bad enough that Korra had convinced her (ex)boyfriend to cheat on her, but rubbing it in her face like this? How inconsiderate was she? They had finally started becoming friends, but in typical Korra fashion, she had ruined it.
Soon enough, Korra was jerked out of her pity party by Bolin’s nervous stammering.
The earthbender was standing awkwardly between the couple and Asami, twiddling his thumbs and staring at the sky.
“Well, as much as I’d like to catch up with you guys, I think it’s past Pabu’s lunchtime, so I’m just gonna, aha, you know, y-yeah, bye!”
Bolin darted into the hut in a blink of an eye, and Korra chastised herself for putting their mutual friend in such an uncomfortable position.
“I’m glad you got your bending back, Korra...And congrats, you two,” Asami said softly, trying to hide her pain.
The gesture tugged at Korra’s heartstrings. Korra hated seeing the engineer, who had given up so much to help her, look so sad. Korra felt her body move on its own, closing the gap between her and the heiress, but before she could place her hand on Asami, the teenager backed away.
“I should go help the others,” Asami said abruptly.
With that, she turned and walked away.
Korra let her hand linger in the air before lowering it, as if to grasp onto the figure that was no longer there. In the background, she could hear Mako tell her Asami just needed time, but it was all a buzz. All Korra could think about were all the times her parents had scolded her for being too selfish. Korra had convinced herself that she deserved to be happy, that she deserved to be with Mako. Of course, she still wanted that. She just wished she had realized earlier on how pursuing her happiness meant taking away some of Asami’s.
First her father, then her boyfriend. Just how much are you going to take away from her?
“Dad, stop!” Asami shrieked into the night.
Her eyes snapped open.
Asami sighed in relief once she saw the only thing above her was the wooden ceiling of the Compound—not a mechatank. She pulled the fur pelts over her chest, although she doubted the chills running up her skin had to do with the cold. Turning on her side, she reached for the clock on the nightstand. It was half past three, and like every night this past week, she hadn’t managed to sleep for more than an hour or two straight.
Then again, how could she?
Her own father had tried to kill her. The image of Hiroshi hovering over her, foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog, was seared in her memory. The madman’s voice, bitter and full of rage, rang in her ears. Her failure to recognize the monster in her father would haunt her for the rest of her life. However, what broke her heart the most was that despite the fact he had tried to end her life, she would never—could never—do the same.
Tears began streaming down her cheeks for the umpteenth time, soaking the pillow beneath her. In that moment, Asami recalled one of the few memories she had of her mother. Asami must’ve been five or six at the time. As per their routine, Yasuko had tucked her in and read her bedtime story. However, the story she told that night didn’t exactly have a happy ending.
“Although Avatar Roku’s legacy remains controversial, he is still admired by many, who remember him for the purity of his heart and his selfless, final act.”
“I don’t like this story, mommy! It’s not fair!”
“And why’s that, sweetie?”
“All Avatar Roku wanted was to help people, and he was always so good to Sozin. How could his best friend abandon him like that?”
“I don’t know, baby. People are complicated, and so is the world.”
“But good guys are supposed to win. Why did Roku have to suffer if he was the good guy?”
“Because, Asami, good people don’t do the right thing for themselves. They do it because it’s the right thing, even if it means they get hurt in the process.”
Asami laughed darkly at the irony of her situation. She had sacrificed the last of her family to help restore balance. She could never forgive the firebender that took her mother or those like him, yet somehow, she wound up on their side. Tragic backstory or not, to Asami, Amon was no different than the Triad thugs. He abused his power and used it to hurt innocent people. As much as she sympathized with the frustrations of his followers, she knew two wrongs didn’t make a right.
Asami had done exactly what her mother said that night. She chose the side of good, irrespective of what it meant for her personally. She was grateful to have been able to play a role in saving the city, even if its residents didn’t appreciate her (and she doubted they would as long as she shared the Sato name). Ending a dangerous revolution was a reward in and of itself, and thus far it seemed like it would be her only reward.
Thinking about Roku’s story, Asami couldn’t help but empathize with the late Avatar. While she wouldn’t in a thousand Avatar cycles compare her friends to Sozin, she couldn’t say she didn’t feel abandoned by them either. Sure, Bolin was still there. He had comforted Asami after they captured her father, and he had checked on her every day since then. Bolin had been nothing short of a true friend, but what about Korra and Mako?
Understandably, until yesterday, all anyone had been able to do was worry about Korra, Asami included. The Avatar losing one of her defining abilities should’ve been the top concern. But now that Korra was back and stronger than ever, did nobody care about Asami’s problems? Would it have killed Mako or Korra to ask her how she was feeling? To offer condolences or attempt to comfort her, even if she didn’t want it? That’s what friends were supposed to do.
That’s what Korra did once.
Asami felt a pang in her chest at the memory of that night. As much as it hurt to see the person she loved with someone new, she could never hold a grudge against Korra. Any feelings of jealousy would be immediately replaced by the nostalgia of the night they had spent together. That night had proven to Asami that, despite her abrasive exterior, Korra was genuinely a kind person at heart. Reflecting on that memory, Asami regretted rebuffing Korra earlier that afternoon. In fact, she wished that Korra were here now, especially given that her nightmares were intensifying.
Suddenly, Asami heard heavy footsteps from down the corridor, startling her. As the footsteps approached her door, she could distinguish the sound of claws scraping against the wooden floorboards.
She knew exactly who it was.
Asami threw off the covers, shivering as soon as the cold air touched her skin. She wrapped her arms around herself and made her way to the door. Upon opening it, she was met with a fuzzy white head and two brown eyes.
“Naga? What are you doing here?” Asami asked, surprised.
Asami’s eyes darted around the polar bear dog’s massive form and down the corridors. Seeming to sense what, or rather who, Asami was looking for, Naga offered a soft whimper. Judging by Naga's reaction, Asami realized that Korra hadn’t come along.
“Korra sent you here, didn’t she?” Asami sighed.
Naga barked softly in response.
Asami’s stomach sunk. While Naga was always welcomed, her presence also meant that Korra had heard Asami tossing and turning in her sleep. Instead of coming to console her herself, she had delegated the task to her animal guide. Asami didn’t know whether to feel more or less abandoned in that moment. Have things between us changed that quickly? Asami wondered dejectedly.
Naga gently headbutted Asami’s chest, breaking the engineer from her trance. Asami admired the intelligent creature’s ability to read emotions, and she couldn’t help but chuckle at how Naga had buried herself in Asami’s torso. Asami hugged Naga's burly neck, and as she did, she felt lighter, as if an invisible weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
“Thanks, girl. I’m glad you’re here.” Asami whispered.
Naga broke the embrace and gently licked Asami’s cheek.
Asami flashed the polar bear dog a smile and led her inside the room. Naga barely slipped through the entrance, and Asami thanked the spirits that she didn’t break the doorframe in the process. The room was just spacious enough for Naga to curl into a ball beside Asami’s bed. However, Asami didn’t want to sleep in her bed anymore.
Reminiscing on that night on Air Temple Island, Asami pulled a pelt off the bed and slowly sat beside Naga. The animal eyed her curiously but didn’t show any signs of aggression or discomfort. Eventually, Asami settled against Naga’s side, burying herself in Naga’s soft, white coat. Naga’s body heat relaxed Asami’s tense muscles. The steady rise and fall of her breath was almost therapeutic. Asami found solace in Naga’s presence. However, she had a feeling part of that had less to do with Naga herself than her owner. Sleeping against Naga made her feel closer to Korra, something she curiously found herself wanting more of now that the bender was starting to put distance between them.
It’ll be okay, eventually. Besides, it’s probably for the best you give yourself some space to get over Mako... Before you know it, you’ll be back to being normal friends. Korra wouldn’t just leave you.
At least that’s what Asami wanted to believe.