Biana wasn’t usually the friend that people went to with their secrets. Sophie either went to Fitz or Keefe, Dex went to Sophie, and Tam and Linh seemed to have their own secret-keeping bond after so many years surviving on their own together. No, Biana was more of the last resort, and she liked to tell herself that was because she was too honest, and usually right, and nobody liked it when someone else was right.
So, maybe her matchmaking skills were a little off, because Fitz and Sophie definitely made fools out of themselves when trying to date. But at least she was good at giving advice. However, nobody else seemed to see this.
And when someone did come to her, she had to wonder, am I their last thought?
Even so, she always tried to give honest and respectable advice to anyone who asked her for it, whether they wanted to hear it or not.
That was why she found herself with scissors in her hand, and a very eager Sophie sitting in front of her, sporting a grin that lit up her entire face.
“Now, are you sure you want to do this?” Biana asked for what had to be the tenth time. She could never be too sure when scissors were involved. “When I said to change things up a bit, I meant adding more color to your wardrobe, or using a different eyeliner color.”
Sure, she’d given her friends makeovers, but those were all temporary changes. Sophie was asking her to cut off a foot and a half of hair. Beautiful, long, shiny hair that had been growing for three years. Biana would’ve killed to have hair as naturally beautiful as Sophie’s.
Sophie clapped her hands together, rolling her eyes. “Yes, for the millionth time, I’m sure. Hair grows back, and I spend too much time thinking about things. Whatever happened to impulse?” she said, and while she seemed like she was mostly talking to herself, Biana found herself thinking of an answer.
She combed her fingers through Sophie’s hair, feeling how amazingly healthy it was, noticing just how nice it smelled. If Sophie were to push through Biana’s mental wall at that very moment, she’d probably be horrified at how fond Biana was of her. How she’d been thinking about the last time Sophie was over, she’d asked Biana to paint her nails for her. She thought about how she wished the teal she chose was a reminder of her own eyes, and not of her brother’s. About the way she held her breath every time Sophie looked up at her, putting their faces just close enough that if Biana moved a single inch, they’d be touching.
So to speak, Biana was glad there were telepathic rules and restrictions.
“I seem to remember there being a showdown with Lady Gisela the last time one of us was impulsive,” she answered.
Sophie made eye contact through the mirror they were facing. “That was a fluke. It wouldn’t have been a problem if we’d stayed away from that camera,” she said, but her face seemed thoughtful when she looked down at her lap. She always got a far away look whenever she talked about those things, and Biana wanted nothing more than to ease her mind of those troubles, remind her that nothing was her fault; that she was pulled into the battle and had no reason to take responsibility for anything. But Sophie would never listen. She was too… diplomatic. Too serious. She took her role as the moonlark much too heavily. All Biana wished she could do was take away some of the weight.
“That whole thing was Keefe’s idea, anyway. You can’t blame yourself for that,” Biana reminded her. She’d never been told the entire story, but it was obvious from the way Sophie recounted it that she hadn’t been the one to suggest going to London, and from the fifteen years Biana had spent with her brother, he wouldn’t have suggested it either. He overthinks things like that. Sure, when it comes to almost murdering your family, he was quick on his feet. But leave it to Fitz to overthink a trip to London.
Sophie’s face seemed to soften at the mention of Keefe, and Biana couldn’t help the piercing twang that pinched her heart. She could see that Sophie didn’t like her, and she knew there was no chance, but it still hurt to see her liking someone else. “Keefe can’t blame himself either. He’s… not good with guilt. It gets to him too easily.”
Even though she knew she was wading into deep water, Biana still had to ask, “so… you and Keefe have been getting closer lately?”
She saw Sophie cock an eyebrow through the mirror. “I mean, we’ve always been kinda close. Ever since he saw me almost die after my first ability reset, he’s kinda been a little over protective.” Her cheeks flushed, and Biana had to bite back her grimace.
Instead she snorted, trying to play off her distaste as teasing. “He’s into you, you know.”
“He definitely is not. Why would he be? I mean, he’s Keefe, and I’m…”
Biana grinned at her through the mirror. “Amazing? Talented? Way too good for any of us?”
Sophie flushed again. “Shouldn’t we get back to the hair cutting?”
Of course. Leave it to Sophie to change the subject when she’s getting complimented. “You’re right. And are you really sure you want to do this? Your hair is so pretty, and-”
“Bee, I promise, I want to do this. Just under shoulder length, it’s not that much,” Sophie insisted, which seemed to settle the matter. The nickname sent another pinch to her heart, and her cheeks burned. She couldn’t help but feel giddy about the fact that Sophie had a nickname for her. During Level Five, they started getting closer, and Sophie started calling her “Bee” to shorten her name. Somehow, it just stuck, and Biana was definitely not complaining.
But that was also definitely not what she needed to be thinking about in that moment.
She let Sophie’s hair fall around her shoulders and back, making it look as even as possible, before she took one piece in the center of her back and snipped it off with a metallic shing. The piece of hair floated to the ground, and when she looked up into the mirror to look at Sophie, she was grinning so widely her entire face lit up. Biana couldn’t help but laugh with her.
She snipped off a few other pieces, going from the back to the sides, making sure to stay as even as possible. Once the big pieces were done, she turned Sophie’s chair around so they were facing each other, and she started on the smaller bits around Sophie’s face. Her hair was parted in the middle, so she took the foremost piece on the right and snipped it shorter than the others, giving her a side bang of sorts. Then she focused on making sure there were layers surrounding her face.
If Biana didn’t know any better, she’d think she’d done this a million times.
All the while, she and Sophie talked and joked, and it reminded her of when they first started hanging out. They weren’t able to have much “girl talk” between all of the rebellion stuff, the school stuff, and the basic life stuff, so Biana was glad just to see Sophie be a person, instead of the moonlark she thought she needed to be.
She remembered the style Sophie’s hair was in when they’d first met, just at shoulder length and definitely not taken care of the way it should’ve been. She looked so young with the style, Biana thought the new haircut would make her look the same way. But for some reason, it made her look even older. Maybe it was the wisdom in her beautiful brown eyes, or the slight difference in her features that she’d grown into over the past three years. Sophie didn’t look young, she looked… mature. Fierce.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Does it look bad?” Sophie asked, pulling Biana out of her musings. Sophie’s cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were wide with what looked like worry. So Biana smiled, and shook her head.
She started turning the chair back around to face the mirror, and took off the cape she’d made Sophie wear to protect her clothes from falling hair. “Just the opposite. You look awesome.”
Sophie’s face lit up again with a smile, and she even let loose a gasp before she stood up to look closer. She combed her fingers through her hair, shook her head, and let it fall loose wherever it landed. “I look like Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap,” Biana heard her mumble. She decided that, based on the smile still on Sophie’s face, this was a good thing to be compared to.
“So you really like it?” Biana asked timidly, putting the scissors down onto the vanity. She wrung her fingers - her own little nervous habit - before she was tackled into one of the strongest hugs she’d ever been given.
She relaxed into it, letting her arms settle around Sophie’s waist before it abruptly ended, and Sophie was back in front of the mirror. “I absolutely love it! Gosh, you should think of making a career out of this, Bee.”
The nickname tickled Biana’s ears again, and she figured she’d look just as flushed as before, but when she took a glance in the mirror, she noticed just how miserable she looked. Maybe it was because she knew Sophie would never feel the same way about her, or because she couldn’t seem to let the words spill out of her mouth the way she wanted to. And maybe she was reading too much into things, but it almost seemed like things could work out sometimes.
That was the type of cruel thought that could send her heart into disaster.
Every other second she went from having hope to feeling lost, and it was entirely her fault alone. For every positive step forward, there was something that brought her back. And she just knew nothing would work out the way she wanted it to. But she couldn't let go of the hope…
She looked at Sophie again, at the way she was smiling so beautifully, so confident with herself, so effortlessly wonderful. In that moment, nothing would ever be more important than keeping that girl safe and happy, even if she may never reciprocate the feelings Biana had for her.
As long as Sophie was smiling, she could live with being her friend. Having her in her life was better than not knowing her at all.