I... have a phone call to take
Finn P.O.V
I walk into the apartment, kicking my shoes off at the door, and close the door as silently as possible, hoping I can sneak off to my room and change before my Dad notices I’m home. He’s definitely going to question where I’ve been, but he won’t be nearly as angry if I’m in my own clothes.
However when I turn around, the only word that comes to mind is ‘fuck’.
The apartment is clean for once without my having done it. All the documents, case files, photo albums, and paperwork that usually clutters up the floor has been moved somewhere. And judging by an old health form next to the welcome mat, I can tell they’ve all been shoved in the small coat closet to my left. The blankets and pillows are picked up and folded neatly over the couch and sofa chairs that have a few remotes scattered amongst them here and there. Chinese food hits my nose and then my eyes from it’s place on the tidy kitchen table.
But what really catches my attention are the two grown men in front of me.
Derek is here, and his eyes are glancing in every direction. He clearly just arrived a minute or so before I did which I can tell from his damp shirt and socks and the way he’s trying to take everything in. He seems pretty calm, and even a bit amused, which is a relief. Maybe he can help calm down the raging tornado that is my father right now.
My dad looks… I don’t think furious is the right word, but it comes close. His mouth is agape, brows furrowed over his eyes, he’s drawn up to his full height, and he has his arms crossed over his sweater vest. Pretzel sock-clad feet are tapping quickly against the floor.
“Where were you?” he asks as soon as he realizes I’m staring at them. His voice sounds strange, almost strained.
“I was at the skatepark.” My brows furrow. I know my dad is overprotective, but I don’t know why he’s so freaked over this.
“What skatepark? Because it certainly wasn’t the one down the street that I assumed you meant when you told me you were going there! And,” he glances behind me, “where’s
Issie? I thought she was going with you!”
My face burns at my dad scolding me in front of his coworker, and I feel my blood start to boil. I cough it away and straighten up myself. “I was at the one near the BAU.”
“The BA- Finn that’s miles from the city! What was your plan to get home?” he cries.
Derek starts to get uncomfortable with the energy in the room, and he excused himself under ‘needing to make a phone call’ before shuffling out into the hallway. He pats me on the shoulder and mutters a ‘good luck kid’ before the door clicks softly shut behind him.
“I don’t know, walk like I normally do?” My voice is starting to rise now, and I have to be careful before I completely lose control. But for some reason my emotions seem to be winning at this point.
His jaw touches the floor. “You mean you’ve done this before?”
“What, go to the skate park? Yes! You know that.”
“I didn’t know you weren’t going to the one near here!”
“The one near here is full of teenagers that don’t skate and chainsmoke for hours!”
“How do you know they do that? Have you been smoking-”
“What?” I sound as shocked as possible, and it’s not hard with the sudden wave of adrenaline I’m riding. “No I’m not smoking- Dad, I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m kind
of a genius. Though it doesn’t take one to smell a bunch of pot.”
“You know, for such a genius, sometimes you sure don’t think like one.”
Smoke billows out of my ears, and I see the same thing happen to dad. “I went to the skate park! It’s not like I went to a crack house-”
“Watch your language!”
“It’s a place. It’s not even a bad word!”
“How do you even know what a crack house is?”
Flames join the smoke. “Because I’ve picked you up from one before!”
Silence.
We stare at each other, matching blue eyes meeting in almost pure shock in light of what just fell out of my mouth. A phrase I didn’t even know I was capable of saying.
Of course, it’s true. I have picked my dad up from a crack house before, it’s how I found out about his Dilaudid addiction. One of the more harmless stoners there knows Darren’s dad, and knows me by default. He saw my dad at the house and called Darren’s dad, who called Darren, who called me. I then burst a blood vessel, ran over to the house, grabbed my dad, thanked the stoner profusely and asked him not to mention this to anyone, brough dad back home, and signed him up for a rehab program the next day.
“At least I don’t retreat into my mind the minute things get challenging.” Is the quiet reply I hear from across the room.
My heart sinks to my feet.
“What?” The voice is too calm, way too calm, and way too steady to belong to me. But it does. A strange wave of pure… something takes over my body, and I feel my breathing slow down. My thudding heart takes a chill pill as well, and I feel my muscles go slack. I’m right at the edge of my Mind Bridge and if Derek wasn’t outside I’d be there already.
Dad’s gaze is steady, but I see tears behind his eyes. Under normal circumstances I’d feel guilt, but right now, soaked to the bone, exhausted, and dissociating… I’m numb. “Finn…” he starts, but trails off.
I have no idea where any of this aggression is coming from. Dad and I argue a bit about his overprotective side, but never like this. It seems years of shoved down aggression and resentment are finally surfacing at what could possibly be the worst time ever.
“At least I didn’t leave my eight year old daughter alone for days at a time.” I take a step forward, eyes blank. “At least I didn’t get kidnapped and leave her alone for a week while I developed a drug addiction.” My eyes are starting to burn but I choke back the tears. “At least I don’t yell at her whenever she does anything any normal teen would do.”
He holds back his tears too. “You’re so irresponsible sometimes--”
“Oh, and you’re not?” I start pacing back and forth in front of him, body stiff as a board. “Every single case you go on you manage to get hurt. Every single one. Because you throw yourself into danger with no regard for your safety! You got kidnapped because you and JJ split up and you ran off while she called for backup! You think I’m irresponsible? Who do you think I get it from--”
Dad’s eyes shine and I swear they flash red for a second, the same color as his cheeks. He clenches his fists, staring at the ground until I’m finished talking. Once I do, his whole body starts shaking, his eyes connect with mine, and he scowls.
He never scowls at me. In my general direction in a sarcastic way, sure, but never at me.
Before I know what’s happening, hands are shoving me backwards. They don’t shove me that hard, but because I wasn’t expecting the sudden blow I stumble back and trip over the welcome mat.
My neck snaps back and I shriek as my left eye hits the doorknob. The contact sends a horrible stab of pain into my skull and I yelp like a kicked puppy and grab at my eye
before I scramble to sit with my back against the wall.
The door nearly slams open as Derek rushes into the apartment just to gape between Reid and I.
Reid’s hand is over his mouth, and tears are dripping down his face. “Finn! Oh god I am so, so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you. Let me see--” He reaches for me the same time as Derek, but I shove both their hands away and scramble to my feet. I do my best to ignore the drum in my chest that’s making my body shake in favor of turning to Derek.
“Dinner’s cancelled,” is all I manage to say with the shakiest voice ever, before I sprint out of the apartment and slam the door behind me.
****
I knock on the bright green door before I return both hands to my left eye and try to ignore the prickly pain in both eyes.
Issie had been the first person I called when I found myself on the streets of DC. By some miracle I managed to speak with her calmly and ask if I could sleep over that night. She had given me a regretful no, since her cousins were over, and asked if we were still on for tomorrow. I, regretfully, was a bit rude and answered with a curt no before finding myself at Darren’s apartment.
Alexus is the one that opens the door, and she has a huge smile on her face as she does until she catches sight of me. “Oh my God, Finn?” Her cry draws the attention of her four brothers, including Darren, and their father.
Lex reaches out for me, and before I know it I'm latching onto the girl's warmth and shivering in her now-soaked jacket and pants.
It’s only when she tucks my head under her chin do I let tears fall for the first time since that day on the roof.