Ava knocks at the door, a bouquet of roses clenched tightly in her left hand and a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne tucked in her left elbow as she lowers her right arm, watching as the door swings open.
This wasn’t how she had ever pictured spending her life, visiting her girlfriend’s family. She never pictured a future, or having “in-laws” of sorts, or having someone she cared so deeply about. She also never thought she’d be here without her, either, but here she was. And while it should make her nervous or even terrified, it only makes her sad today. She quickly pushes down the sorrow when Quentin greets her with a soft, sad smile as he widens his arms for a hug. “Ava, glad you could make it.” He greets, leading her into the apartment.
Laurel and Dinah are already there, Laurel busying herself in the kitchen, pulling out a ham from the oven as Dinah stirs a pot of mashed potatoes.
Both women greet her with somber “hello’s” and she immediately asks if she can lend a hand. Quentin directs her to set the table as he grabs everyone wine glasses and pours them all a glass from the bottle Ava had brought.
“How are Mia and William doing?” Ava asks as they are all served and seated for dinner.
Laurel swallows before speaking up. “The hellions are doing well.” She snorts back a laugh before smiling. “They’re at John and Lyla’s tonight.” She adds, knowing the two had been invited tonight but had declined.
“And the bar?” She looks towards Dinah.
The brunette smiles. “Doing great. I’m pleasantly surprised how much I enjoy running the place instead of being a police captain, but I think the fact that we still head the Canary Network helps.” Dinah comments.
The rest of the dinner continues in quiet small talk before Ava insists on helping clear the dishes as a thanks before the four of them get ready to head out.
The drive to the cemetery is silent, neé the rain falling on the roof of the car and the quiet rumble of the station wagon’s heating. Ava picks at a leaf on the bunch of roses on her lap as Quentin pulls into the parking lot of the cemetery and the four of them all step out, opening their umbrellas over their heads, making the trek through the rain.
The sound of boots making their way through muddy grass is the only sound Ava can hear as she feels the tears prick at her eyes. She manages to hold them back as they gather around the headstone, and she watches as Laurel and Quentin each laid down a bouquet of flowers. She holds tightly onto hers, not ready to let go just quite yet.
It’s cold, and raining as she holds the black umbrella over her head, trying to keep the freezing cold, sprinkling off her body. She isn't surprised, this time of year is always rainy in Star City, but it’s still annoying and slightly uncomfortable as the cold chill runs down her spine.
She’s stood beside Quentin, with Laurel on her other side and Dinah next to the short-haired blonde, holding her hand as they’re all quietly standing around the headstone, feeling like they were missing a part of themselves as they missed one specific person in particular.
The three beside her each take a moment to quietly mumble out some soft words before Quentin gives her arm a small squeeze as he turns. “I’m going to warm up the car, take your time.” He says softly as he goes. She nods as the single tear slides down her cheek, feeling his hand leave her shoulder.
Laurel raises a hand to her shoulder next, letting her silently know that the two of them would give her a well-needed moment alone before her and Dinah walk off towards the car with Quentin.
Ava crouches down in the wet, muddy grass, reaching a hand out to the headstone to balance herself. “Hey Baby,” She speaks softly. “The team told me to say ‘hi’. They miss you, we all do. Ray said he and Nora will stop by sometime next week, and Lita came by earlier this morning with Mick, which I thought was so sweet of them.” She inhales, taking a shuddering breath, tracing her fingers over the dates carved into the headstone. The stone still says “1987-2007” since technically, Sara was never found, yet. Ava’s tiny sliver of hope still holds out even as the days grew long and into over a year at this point. But she still comes here to visit every now and then, and spends time with Sara’s family, feeling as if they were her family too. “And Zari says to tell you that she’s been making sure I’m still taking care of myself too. I’ll be honest, it’s been really hard, trying to go on without you. But she’s made sure I shower and sleep and eat at least one meal a day. Gideon misses you too, and I know she says she loves having me as the captain, but I know she’d much rather prefer if you were there. We all would, me especially.” She pauses again, wiping tears out from under her eyes.
“Behrad isn’t the most vocal about missing you, but it shows in his attitude. He’s not as happy anymore without you, but he’s really stepped up on the team. And Nate,” she pauses. “Nate’s been a rock for me. He’s the best guy I could ask for. He lets me break when I need to, and knows when to push further when I back into my corner. Even John and Mick have been around more. I think losing you has really shown us all how precious we are to each other because we’ve become closer. I just hate that it took losing you to understand that.” She states.
She stays in silence for a moment, just sitting there in the cold. She can feel the wet rain sleeping into her jeans the longer she sits but she just can’t seem to care. She feels connected to Sara while she’s here, and it makes her miss her even more. “I miss you, so much. I hope–I hope wherever you are, you’re doing okay. I still love you, with every fiber of my being. I hope to see you again, soon my love.”
She stands up, brushing what she can of the dirt off herself, laying the bundle of roses on the gravesite, right next to the lilies she’s assuming Mick and Lita had left and the few bunches of other assorted flowers Laurel, Dinah and Quentin had just laid there before her. She kisses two of her fingers, softly, before running them along the top of the cold, wet stone, wishing so badly that she was kissing Sara in the rain instead.
“Merry Christmas, and Happy Birthday, Sara.”