00 AM"
“How are you feeling, Gen?” Langdon asked as he entered his patient's room, Kate trailing behind him.
Gen lifted her head slightly from her position on her bed, curled up to her side so she wouldn't press on her back after the lung puncture. She winced before shrugging. “It hurts a little bit.”
“How much, from one to ten, ten being the worst?”
“Two.”
Langdon leveled her with an unimpressed look.
After a moment, Kate smiled sheepishly. “Fine. Five.”
“I'll see about getting you something for the pain, Gen. Be right back,” Langdon turned on his feet to depart the room, mentally praying he wouldn't have to go to Robby for a prescription for Gen. In any other case, he wouldn't hesitate to wait to find Mel or even Collins but, well, he actually liked the kid.
“Thank you, Dr.Langdon.” Gen called softly before curling even more into herself, her next whisper almost reluctant. “I'm sorry.”
And that, that stopped Langdon dead in his tracks.
“Why are you apologizing, darling?” Kate asked softly as she took a seat beside Gen's head.
“I really didn't think I was this sick,” Gen admitted, her cheeks colouring when Kate merely looked at her with an understanding smile. “I don't like bothering you all.”
“Well, I don't know about Dr.Langdon, but I will say you are one of the easiest and coolest patients I've had the pleasure to talk to. Don't tell anyone else, though, wouldn't like them to know I play favourites,” Kate replied, her smile widening when Gen's shoulders relaxed slightly.
“I think it's actually really hard to tell how sick we are,” Langdon quipped from his place by the door. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms before his chest. “Even for us doctors. I think we are taught to keep moving no matter what, so we don't want to think that we could actually be sick and need to rest.”
“I guess,” Gen chuckled despite herself. “I feel like an idiot.”
Langdon frowned. “I know this must be scary for you, Gen, but I promise we're doing our best to make you better as soon as possible. That lung puncture we did is letting you breathe better because of the fluid we took out of your lung and, as soon as we know what caused the pneumonia, we'll have a clear treatment plan to get you on your feet.”
Gen's face snapped in his direction. “You don't know what caused it yet?”
Langdon frowned as he noticed her clear dismay. “Not at the moment but Dr. King and I are still waiting on some results. We should be able to figure it out very soon.”
Gen slowly lay her head back on the pillow, her gaze wide and anxious as it focused on the wall in front of her.
Langdon threw Kate a baffled look, but the other woman only shook her head, silently motioning him to stay silent.
“Gen, from what we've talked, I gather that you take pride in being independent. You have made your mom's life as easy as you can and you like the fact that she can depend on you. Would you say I'm on the right track here?” Kate began softly, leaning slightly forward when Gen nodded slowly. “Being here is hard, especially alone, especially not knowing exactly what's going on. I want to be very clear, Gen. You've done everything you could. When you started sensing your symptoms, you took medicine to feel better. When you realized you were getting worse, you called an ambulance. When Dr. King and Dr. Langdon asked you question after question, you answered to the best of your abilities. You've been your best advocate. You're doing amazing, darling.”
Gen sniffed. “I just feel-.”
Kate slowly extended a hand towards Gen. A silent invitation. “You feel what, darling?”
Gen looked at Kate. After a moment, she clutched Kate's hand with hers. “I feel ashamed.”
“Everything you feel is valid. I don't have to tell you that.” Kate gently, yet firmly declared. “I will say, though, that you're in a place filled with people who want to take care of you. People who want to see you get better. People who will only think you have been an excellent patient and advocate. You've asked for help, darling. You are getting that help. Nobody did that for you, you did it on your own. That's all that matters. Do you think shame has any business here?”
Gen shook her head slowly, breathing slowly as hot, large tears fell from her wide eyes.
And, after a moment, she looked at Langdon.
“I think I know how I got pneumonia.”
Langdon cleared his throat, blinking more times than necessary to clear the mist from his eyes. After a moment, he nodded and walked to sit beside Kate.
“Excellent, Gen. Let's hear it.”
oOo
“I kind of want to hug her and protect her from the world,” Kate mused as she walked out of Gen's room, Langdon closing the door firmly behind them.
Langdon chortled a laugh before running a hand through his face. “I get that. Fucking heartbreaking.”
“Emotionally abusive dad, the pressure to get into a good scholarship, the fear of bothering her mom. No shock her defenses are so run down. She's only 16, she shouldn't have to cope with this much.” Kate sighed before shaking her head. After a moment she turned towards Langdon. “I don't know about you and Mel, but I think we should get a Psych consult, at the very least to get an official recommendation for therapy.”
Langdon nodded. “I agree. Will you be there for the consult?”
“At least to introduce them. Whether I stay after that, that's up to Gen,” Kate replied as she unconsciously tugged on her sweater’ sleeves.
Langdon watched her carefully. “You okay?”
Kate nodded immediately. “Of course. It's just, some patients hit you harder than others, right?”
“Absolutely,” Langdon snorted before hesitating, considering his next words for a moment. “Thank you. For what you said in there. She needed to hear that and honestly, so did I.”
Kate cocked her head, taking Langdon in carefully. “Dr. Robby said this was your first day back.”
“That he did.”
“I won't ask.”
Langdon shrugged. “Everyone gossips here. You're bound to find out.”
“I won't hear any of it. Not if you take issue with me knowing.” Kate replied easily, her smile growing understanding as she noticed the blush running down Langdon's neck. Swiftly, she changed the subject. “I'll let you know how it goes, of course. Psych's consult on Gen.”
“And I'll see about getting a rush on the lab results, I want to confirm the infection before getting set on a treatment plan,” Langdon sighed as he looked around. “Speaking of it, have you seen Mel?”
Kate turned to look around the Pitt as well, her brows furrowing as neither caught a glance on the blonde and angelic resident. Before any could voice their theories on where she could be, though, they were joined by a third party.
“Have you seen Mel?” Santos asked as she stepped beside them.
“We were wondering the same thing,” Langdon replied before frowning at her. “Did you need her for something?”
Santos hesitated. “No, I-she mumbled something about needing some air and… and I haven't seen her since.”
“How long was this?”
“...fifteen minutes?”
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.” Langdon cursed heatedly, his gaze on the floor as he thought deeply. After a moment, he looked up and nodded at Kate. “Go get that psych consult. Let me know how it goes.”
“Absolutely. Let me know if you need anything.”
“What are we doing?” Santos asked as Langdon stalked towards the nurses’ station. She cursed as she attempted to catch up with him in vain.
“You are helping me find Robby so I can get a pain meds' prescription for my pneumonia kid. After that, I am finding Mel. Alone.”
“You realized she's probably tucked away in some corner with her lava lamp app, right?”
“For fifteen minutes?”
Santos grumbled. “I hate it when you're right.”
oOo
Mel knew she lived in a world that was absolutely fucked up towards autistic people like herself or her sister. It was demanding, it was unforgiving, it was relentless.
And if there was something that she learned, that was that she needed time. More than that, she fucking deserved it. So, if the world wouldn't give her that, then she would demand that grace for herself.
As far as her anxiety attacks, this one was fairly unremarkable. Neither the worst nor the best. By the time she got to sixty three deep breaths, she was finding it easier to focus on her surroundings, so much that she was beginning to forget she was supposed to count her breaths.
The temperature had risen a notch since she started her shift but not by much, winter still very much King. The wind was gentle, yet biting as it danced around her, doing its best to seep through her heavy, navy coat and into her bones.
From her place on that root, there weren't many hiding options. From the wind, from the cold, from her feelings. Take your pick. Mel didn't care. She wasn't looking to hide, she was looking to feel.
“Which song are you going through this time?”
Mel smiled despite herself, never taking her gaze off the landscape around her. It went as far as her eyes went. She didn't think she had ever seen anything so larger than life.
“Not Like Us.”
“Kendrick,” Frank mused as he stood beside her. “You are much cooler than I could ever be, King.”
Mel shook her head with a chuckle. “Don't bullshit me.”
“I could never,” Frank promised. He turned towards her calmly. “Want company?”
Mel smiled to her feet. It wasn't the first time he'd had to ask her such a question. It was the first time she hadn't had to teach someone how to ask.
He asked as easily as if he'd been asking whether the sky is blue. He asked with the tone she needed to know it truly didn't matter what her answer was, he would respect her and not take offense.
It was refreshing.
“Company, please.”
Frank buried his hands even deeper into his coat's pockets. “Wanna talk about it?”
“I…I don't know if I'm gonna make sense.”
“You've always made sense to me. Even so, it's okay if you don't. Make sense, that is. Your feelings are still gonna be real and valid even if I struggle to make sense of them.”
“Santos called you my work husband,” Mel blurted out, immediately covering her mouth with a hand.
Frank sighed. “Yeah, I figured that would be an issue.”
Mel turned towards Frank, a frown covering her features. “You noticed?”
Frank didn't want to tell the truth. That of course he did. He noticed everything when it came to Mel. He had gotten to a point in which he was equally proficient in medicine and in taking notice of everything related to Melissa King.
He desperately wanted to tell the truth.
And, at the same time, he would rather dig himself into the ground than speak his thoughts into tangible existence.
Mel, above everything, didn't deserve to carry with his half processed feelings.
“I can talk to Santos,” Frank offered instead.
“No, no. It's okay. It really is, I'm sure being in a marriage with you would be perfectly satisfying, even if we're talking only of a work kind of marriage,” Mel mused almost subconsciously, absolutely unaware of Frank growing more and more flustered beside her. “You're my best friend. I don't think I would trust anyone more than you to be in a relationship with.”
Frank gulped, his words having left the building entirely, maybe even the state.
After a moment, he licked his lips, choosing to ignore his heart hammering against his chest. “Okay.”
‘Okay’
Okay?
Oh, someone fucking push him off the building already.
“When you were getting the things for Gen's lung puncture, I was talking with Kate and Cassie came to ask for her help with a patient,” Mel took a deep breath, her voice quivering with nerves. For the moment, Frank pushed his inner mortification in favour of paying attention to his best friend. “22-year-old female, broken wrist. College kid, but lives with her parents for savings purposes. She started asking Cassie a lot of PAP-screen questions because she's asexual and although she's seen a gynecologist, her mother disagrees with their recommendations.”
Frank cursed under his breath. “We are thinking Dr. Google has a problem with her kid being asexual, then?”
Mel nodded slowly, her gaze dropping to her shoes once again. Her voice dropped to a whisper. Her hands clenched into fists. “You should have heard Kate. I know we're all physicians and that we try to be as accepting as we can but… I've never seen anyone be such a firm advocate.”
“I get it,” Frank interjected after a moment. His gaze was thoughtful. “Not much is known about the people who identify within the asexual spectrum. And people don't seem to be interested in learning about it.”
“When people hear the words ‘husband’ or ‘wife’, companionship isn't the first thing assumed. Sex is. And I-,” Mel's broke, and she interlocked her hands before her chest as soon as she noticed they started to shake. “I've never heard someone say asexual people deserve respect and that their life, their identity, their whole fucking story matters. It was as if… I… as if they mattered, you know?”
“Mel.”
Mel shook her head, swallowing down a sob as tears rolled down her cheeks. “It's okay, Frank. I'm gonna stop crying in a second, I promise.”
“Can I hold your hands, Mel?”
Mel looked up in shock at that, turning slowly towards Frank, who was wearing the most earnest expression she had ever seen.
“I'm okay.”
“I know.”
Slowly, Mel extended her mitten covered hands, watching as Frank gently cradled them in his. He stood still for a moment, his breath shallow, his smile slight and genuine as he ran his thumbs gently across her hands. Finally, he looked up.
“What Kate said, that was the least Cassie's pacient deserved. And if this is a place in which people come and feel that they can be protected and listened to, then we're doing something right.”
Mel gulped, her voice weak. “Frank.”
Frank's gaze didn't falter. “You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. But you can trust me. You know that.”
Mel nodded slowly, closing her eyes as she counted slowly until five.
And then, she jumped.
“I'm asexual.”
Frank smiled despite himself. His heart felt as if it had grown three sizes in pride. “Okay.”
Mel's eyes remained firmly closed. “I've only told Becca. Before now, I mean.”
“I feel honoured, Mel.”
At that, Mel opened her eyes slowly, her gaze amazed because she actually believed it. “You actually do, don't you?”
“You're my best friend, King. Of course I do.” Frank chuckled, his smile widening when Mel laughed with him. “And for the record, I also think of companionship when I hear the words ‘husband’ or ‘wife’.”
Mel nodded slowly. “I think I will rather like being your work wife. If you want to, that is.”
“C'mere, you fool.” Frank rolled his eyes with a snort as he enveloped his large arms around her shoulders. He closed his eyes as he felt Mel resting the side of her face against his chest. “That title has always been yours, King. You should know that.”
“Okay. The same goes for you, Langdon.”
oOo
Robby cracked his neck with a sigh as he typed his notes on the STEMI patient he had just treated, middle aged men already on his way to the cath lab and hopefully, a better quality of life.
As he typed down the differential and the diagnosis he had ruled out in his path to reaching the correct one and the corresponding diagnosis, he felt himself falling into a groove he knew very well.
The rhythmic beat of the keyboard beneath his fingers, the slight smell of antiseptic enveloping him as he stood on his own in Trauma 2, the slight ache pressing down on his shoulders, classic tell of a job well done.
So tuned in he was, that felt to notice he was no longer alone.
Or at least, until a binder was slammed in front of him.
“What the fuck?” Robby exclaimed as he jumped on his place, turning to glare at the newcomers. “Seriously?”
“We called you,” Collins replied smugly.
If Collins was subtle about it, McKay was the total opposite. As she retreated to stand beside her senior resident, McKay gloated openly at her attending. “Several times.”
“Five times at least.”
“Five? I think it was closer to ten.”
“Okay,” Robby interrupted, chuckling despite himself. “Got it. I was too focused. What is this?”
McKay fidgeted nervously. “The report you asked for. The amount of assaults and other violent situations women have suffered in this hospital for the past three months.”
“And the amount of female patients we've received in the last three months who have suffered any sort of assault or violent altercations,” Collins added. “And our recommendations for a change in the protocol.”
“Oh, excellent.” Robby straightened, flipping through the binder with great interest. “This is gonna be great for when we make a formal request for resources. I'm gonna need the two of you present in that meeting, by the way.”
McKay sputtered. “But we aren't in charge of the department.”
“I know, and both Abbot and I are gonna be there,” Robby explained distractedly, his focus on the report in his hands. “But it's really fucking hypocrite of me if none of the women in my department attend such a meeting, right? Besides, this is your project and your effort. This should also be your win.”
“Okay,” McKay breathed slowly, her smile widening as she exchanged a bewildered glance with Collins. “You got it, Captain.”
“Get back to work. And thank you, McKay.”
As McKay left, Collins crossed her arms, an impressed gaze covering her features. “That David case made an impression on you.”
Robby looked up for a second. “It was about time, don't you think? But it wasn't only him. McKay was right, in everything she said.”
Collins nodded slowly. “I almost wished I was here that day.”
Robby's gaze snapped up at that. “You don't. Believe me, you don't.”
Collins sighed. It wasn't the first time they'd discussed this. Both were stubborn. Both wanted to help. Both felt guilty for not having done enough.
Of course, they still hadn't reached an understanding on that matter.
After a long moment, Collins smiled, the argument left alone for the moment.
“This is huge, Robby. You're doing something amazing here.”
“I'm not doing it. You are.”
“Take the compliment already, will you?”
oOo
“If he must be your work husband, can I be your work best friend?”
From Mel's other side, Langdon cackled as he searched for Gen's file in the system. “Don't be a sore loser, Santos, it isn't a good look.”
“You should know, right?”
“You are my work best friend,” Mel interjected easily, shrugging when Langdon threw her a scandalized look. “What? You can't have everything. Besides, she's more fun.”
“I am horrified!”
“Victory!” Santos laughed as she jumped on her place, Mel’s giggle harmoning perfectly. Langdon felt himself smiling despite himself.
“Ugh, this is the worst day of my life.”
“Robby!” Dana suddenly called from her place behind the desk, phone pressed to her face. “OD kid coming in hot!”
“ETA?”
“Three minutes!”
“Shit, I have an ACV patient.” Robby perked up as he noticed Collins stepping out of the bathroom. “Collins, OD kid heading our way!”
“Debriding a patient with McKay!”
“I got it,” Langdon felt himself saying. He straightened stubbornly when everyone turned towards him. “What, you're gonna keep every OD patient from me for the rest of my career?”
After a moment, Robby sighed. “Fine. Get Mohan and Whittaker. Santos, exchange places with him in Triage.”
“Want me to go with you?” Mel asked under her breath as Santos departed them, cursing under her breath the entire way.
Langdon shook his head, trying to show more confidence than what he actually felt. “It's okay, you got Gen and your other patients. Just… you're gonna be around, right?”
Mel nodded seriously. “As long as you need me, Frank.”
Again, Frank forced himself not to say what he was actually thinking aloud.
But, fuck's sake, she was really making it hard.
“We're still kicking today's ass, King.”