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Jose knew from a very young age that he was different from other boys. While they played backyard football, he sat inside watching The Little Mermaid with his sister Vanessa. While they talked about how hot Britney Spears was, he was fawning over Justin Timberlake. Jose was gay. It wasn’t a secret.
Jose and Vanessa were juniors in high school when Jose developed a crush on the cutie down the street. Brock. He was fairly new, had only lived here for a year. He had moved here from Canada, and him and Jose had hit it off over the summer. Jose really did want to be his friend, Brock didn’t seem like he had many friends. He didn’t expect to catch feelings though. It was hard because he wasn’t quite sure that Brock was gay. He had a hunch, but that was it.
Jose was Brock’s only friend, and Brock was okay with that. He liked Jose. There was something really special about him. When he was sad, Jose knew how to cheer him up. When the popular kids were being hateful, Jose stood up to them. He was a very good friend to Brock. Brock had different feelings for Jose, though. He liked him in a way that boys shouldn’t like other boys. Brock had wondered for years if he was gay, then he met Jose and the gay slapped him in the face.
They had not had that talk though, not yet. Many times Brock wanted to come out and tell Jose how he felt, but his parent’s words as well as his pastor’s were in his ears.
It’s a sin.
Man shalt not lie with man.
You will go to Hell, Brock.
He tried to be a normal teenager. He tried to find girls attractive, but they didn’t make him feel the way that Jose did. He would have been more okay with it if it weren’t for the fact that his parents didn’t like Jose, and had told him on multiple occasions that he shouldn’t be friends with him. So, after their latest fight, he finally decided to listen to them, thinking it would be easier.
Brock and Jose sat at the park. School started in just under a week and neither of them were ready. They sat in a comfortable silence. Comfortable, that is, until Brock spoke up.
“Jose,” he started, “I can’t be friends with you anymore.”
Jose felt like someone had slapped him in the face. It took him a moment to process the words. This was a joke. Brock was obviously joking, so Jose laughed. Brock gave him a weird look, signalling that he was, in fact, not joking.
“Brock, you ain’t serious?”
“I am. I can’t be friends with you anymore, it’s not- it’s not okay.”
Jose looks down at his hands in his lap, “did I do somethin’?”
“No, it’s me. I just- I can’t talk about it.”
“Brock, you can tell me. You can tell me anythin’.”
“Look, I know you’re gay, and that’s fine, but I think I might be too. I think I might be gay, Jose, and I think I like you- like that, and that’s just not okay.” Brock’s brain was going a mile a minute.
Jose could kick himself. Brock liked him back and he’s wasted this whole time because he was afraid.
“Brock, I- I dunno what to say, but I like you too. I have for a while and I was afraid of tellin’ ya.”
“All the more reason for us to not be friends.” Brock said quietly.
“Brock, why are you-”
“I don’t exactly want this, Jose. My parents don’t want us to be friends either, Jose, they know- well they know that you’re gay and they don’t want that influence in my life. They want me to date a girl..”
“Brock, I don’t understand. I thought we was friends, why are you doin’ this?”
“I’m sorry,” Brock said softly, genuinely, “I have to go Jose, I’ll see you around.”
With that, he was gone, leaving Jose to himself.
Jose made his way home about an hour later.
“You good, J?” his sister asked as he walked in the door.
“Nah.” was all he said as he walked to his room.
Knowing that he needed to talk, Vanessa followed closely behind. He tried to shut the door and she just kept walking behind him, not giving him a chance. The two were twins and they had that stereotypical “twin” thing that everyone talked about. Vanessa knew that Jose needed her.
“What’s goin’ on, bro?” Vanessa said, sitting on top of Jose’s desk as he threw himself down on his bed.
“I’m gay.”
Vanessa rolled her eyes, “we been knew.”
“I’m gay, and so is Brock, and he likes me, and I like him.”
“That’s great! So what’s the issue?”
“He don’t wanna be my friend anymore. He say his parents don’t want him around me no more.”
Vanessa’s heart sank for her brother. She knew how he had struggled in his friendship with Brock.
“Ness, can I just be alone please?”
Vanessa nodded and hopped down from the desk. She went to her own room to figure out what to do. Nothing came to her. She didn’t know how to help her brother, and that was the hardest thing.
Until it was around two am and the idea popped into her head. She jumped down from her bed and went to Jose’s room.
“J, wake up.” she not-so-quietly whispered, “J, I have an idea!”
Jose’s eyes fluttered open, “what the hell, V? This couldn’t wait until morning?”
Vanessa smiled and shook her head, “I know how to get Brock back into your life!”
Excitement vibrated off of Vanessa, and Jose was curious.
“I’ll date Brock. Not like date date, but fake date. That way he can spend time here and his parents won’t know!”
Jose thought about it for a minute. That might actually work, at least until Brock is able to come up with a better situation.
“How do we get him to agree to it?”
The twins smiled at each other and got to work on a plan.
They decided it was just best to corner Brock after PE one day. It was his last class, and lucky enough, both Vanessa and Jose were in it too.
“Brock!” Jose called across the gym as they headed towards the locker room.
Brock hesitated, but then turned around to face Jose.
“Yes?” Brock tried to sound cold, stand-offish. It didn’t work.
“V and I have a proposition for ya.”
Vanessa nodded in agreement.
“You fake date Vanessa, that way your parents will be happy, and we can hang out and still be friends!”
Brock thought for a minute. It wasn't a bad idea. His parents had been on him to get a girlfriend but Brock thinks that they just wanted to make sure he wasn't gay.
“I think I need some time,” Brock finally decides, “but it’s not a no.”
He turns to walk towards the locker room.
“Brock,” Jose started after him, “Brock, please, we supposed to be best friends.”
“It’s not something I can say yes to right away, Jose. I need to think about it.”
Jose nodded and Brock left.
That night, Jose’s proposition weighed heavy on Brock’s heart. He wanted to say yes, but it could get very messy. Was it worth it? His friendship with Jose, was it worth lying to his mom and dad?
He thought about the county fair last year, it was really the first time they had hung out. Jose got them a giant sno-cone to share and Brock almost puked on the tilt-a-whirl!
He thought about going skating with Jose and Vanessa in the fall, almost falling and busting his ass. He wasn’t very graceful. Vanessa laughed, not maliciously, and Jose helped him up with soft eyes.
He thought about the Spring Fling dance where Jose requested all of Brock’s favorite songs even though he thought they were lame.
Lastly, he thought about this past summer. They hadn’t done much. They laid in the field behind Jose’s house. Brock could still see the sunlight bouncing off of Jose’s perfect, golden skin as though it was happening right in front of him.
That was the day he realized he had feelings for Jose, and that’s what made him realize that, yes, he wanted to accept this arrangement.
The next day, Brock walked into study hall and over to the table where Jose sat with Vanessa.
“I thought about it.” he said, and Jose raised his eyebrows, “I’ll do it.”
Jose smiled and he and Vanessa high fived only to be shushed by the teacher. Brock sat down at the table and Vanessa wiggled her eyebrows.
"Alright, hot stuff, you gonna take me on a date Friday then?" she grinned.