"what?" elle asked as she felt morgan staring holes into her for the millionth time this morning.
"we've only been here an hour, and you've made two calls," morgan said as he leaned back in his chair.
"so?" elle asked as she grabbed her mobile phone from her desk.
"you hate the phone, elle."
"i don't hate the phone," elle almost laughed.
"actually, you do," reid added to the conversation. "did you know that alexander graham bell and eli gray simultaneously invented electronic sound transmission devices? it came down to a race betwixt the two."
"yeah, and bell beat gray to the patent office by a matter of hours," elle finished. her cell beeped, but she only put it away and continued, "common knowledge."
"why are you acting so weird?" morgan asked as he twiddled his pencil.
"i'm not."
although she said that, the next time she checked her phone, she couldn't help but let a smile slip.
"you're getting some loving, aren't you? you got a boyfriend," morgan said with a smug smirk.
"you're basing this on what exactly--the fact that i don't like the phone? that's all you got? that's your best? you've been a profiler for how long, derek, and that's--that's weak. that's weak," elle said, defensive and flustered.
morgan knew he shouldn't have, but elle made it so easy. she had left the building without her phone.
[9:13am] y/n: still on 4 tonight? miss u xoxo
morgan shrugged and forgot all about it.
that is until he left work one night.
tonight, the team had found c.i.a. deputy director bruno hawks guilty of treason and murder.
morgan had gone back to the office to get to his car, and elle had gone back as well for presumably the same reason.
he was about to get into his car until he saw a stranger leaning on elle's. he was about to step in to help ward off the unwanted stranger when elle started laughing.
"i told you not to come to my work," elle let out the most carefree laugh that morgan had ever heard from her.
it was bad to eavesdrop, but morgan couldn't help himself.
"i'm no profiler, but you don't seem to be too mad about it," the stranger smiled.
"y/n, you're unbelievable," elle playfully rolled her eyes. "how long have you been waiting?"
morgan recognized the name from a few days ago when he snooped on elle's phone.
"not long," y/n tried to shrug.
"yeah, right. you're shivering," elle said as she shrugged off her jacket and wrapped it around y/n's shoulders. "you should've at least waited in the car."
"and miss out on the chance to get your jacket? yeah right," y/n giggled as she opened the door to the passenger seat. "i'll drive. you look beat."
"you're a terrible driver," elle laughed but accepted the offer.
"kiss for the chauffeur?" y/n asked as she leaned down.
"we're at my workplace," elle said, being the voice of reason between the two.
"please?" y/n dragged on.
"fine," elle smiled as she leaned forward and gave y/n a quick peck.
"your smile's as pretty as ever."
"what a charmer."
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"reid, are you sure you don't wanna come?" elle asked one last time.
"thanks, but i have to go--i'm going home," reid said as he shoved cds into his bag. "have a good one."
"since reid's not using it...you think you can swing that deal for a friend of mine?" elle asked morgan once reid rushed out of the room.
"is your friend cute?" morgan asked playfully.
"is that a yes?" elle asked.
"yes. a friend of yours is a friend of mine," morgan nodded with a cheeky smile. "hope your friend's packed and ready to go."
"actually—"
"elle!" the girl from the other night waved excitedly.
"this is my friend y/n. y/n, derek morgan," elle smiled. even as she introduced them, she couldn't take her eyes off of her.
morgan let out a dopey smile at that.
"what?" elle asked when y/n got in the car.
"nothing," morgan shook his head.
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"may i have this dance?" y/n asked as she gave a theatrical bow to elle.
"you're so dramatic," elle rolled her eyes, unable to keep the amused smile off her face.
"is that a yes?"
"what about morgan?" elle looked to where her coworker was at at the other side of the club.
"his attention's already locked on the hundred something girls he's with. c'mon, elle. you owe me for ditching me to play frisbee with that guy," y/n pouted.
"okay, all right," elle sighed as though this wasn't something that she too wanted. though, the wide smile on her face said otherwise.
their nimble fingers intertwined while both held each other close by the other's back with their free hands.
they swayed to the slow music, and y/n twirled elle with the hand that held her's.
elle had a look of pure bliss on her face when she was once again facing y/n.
y/n stared in awe at the beauty that was elle greenaway.
"do i have something on my face or something?" elle asked when she noticed that y/n was staring.
"if you had such a beautiful view, wouldn't you wanna keep looking, too?" y/n said with a sly smile.
"you're such a flirt," elle said as she leaned in for a kiss.
y/n raised her hand from the small of elle's back to the back of her head. with their eyes closed, bodies close together, and the upbeat music turning into dull background noise, it felt like they were the only two people in the world.
"i know your friend went through the trouble of giving me a discount on the room, but..." y/n trailed off.
"yes," elle answered in an instance, grabbing y/n's hand and leading her away.
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"our forensics expert and your coroner agree that the time of death was no less than twenty-four hours ago. neither agent greenaway or y/n l/n could've committed this murder because they've been in this country for less than twenty four hours," hotchner came to the rescue.
"thank you," y/n said once they were on the plane ride back.
"aaron hotchner," he introduced himself as he reached across the table and shook y/n's hand.
"yeah, i figured," y/n laughed lightly only to realize what she had said, "i mean--"
"i talk about my coworkers sometimes," elle explained with a dismissive hand.
"sorry, elle..." y/n said as she played with the edge of elle's jacket which she was wearing.
"no, don't be," elle shook her head.
"you okay?" morgan asked.
"yeah, thanks," y/n nodded.
they settled into an uncomfortable silence.
hotchner sighed as he looked over the autopsy report of the man that his agent was accused of murdering less than an hour ago.
morgan tried to shut his eyes but failed to get any rest.
elle sat incredibly still, the most tense that both morgan and hotchner had ever seen her.
y/n went between dozing off to being as attentive as a soldier.
"you don't have to sit here. you can sit anywhere on the plane," elle eventually said. "here, follow me."
morgan had fully given up on getting any sleep, and his eyes followed as elle lead y/n to the long seat by her hand.
elle sat down on the edge and patted her lap.
y/n hesitantly looked toward morgan and hotchner--to which morgan quickly looked away as though he hadn't been watching--before lying down on the couch and using elle's lap as a pillow.
"i'm sorry," elle said in a somber voice as she brushed away the hair that was covering y/n's face.
"if this is your apology, i don't mind being accused of murder," y/n smiled as she grabbed the hand that was on her face and held it.
and although she had tried to laugh it off, the team could see that she was clearly affected by the events of this morning.
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"you're welcome to come with us as a guest," hotchner said once they landed.
"thanks, but today's grocery day," y/n shook her head.
"i'll send an agent to help you on your way out," hotchner said as he gestured at the closest agent.
y/n gave a weak wave before she let herself be escorted out.
"do you guys want to go home? get some rest?" hotchner asked his two agents.
"hell no," elle said as she turned to look at hotchner as if he had just said the most outrageous thing in the world.
"i'm good," morgan shook his head.
"how much sleep did you two get in the last twenty-four hours?"
"i am not sleeping until i find whoever this frank giles is," elle said, full of determination.
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"my eyes are so heavy, i can barely see the board," elle sighed as she turned to reid.
she could barely comprehend the explanation that he was giving about the book code.
she slumped into the leather chair and rested her chin on her hand as she racked her brain to try to find ways to figure out what book they needed, but she couldn't come up with anything.
"the answer's gotta be up there somewhere," elle yawned as she tried her best to focus her eyes on the board of clues in front of her.
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hotchner walked into the room to find morgan and reid going over all of the clues that they had been given.
he walked over to elle, who was sleeping on a couch. it looked incredibly uncomfortable.
"elle," hotchner said as he shook her shoulder.
"i'm awake," elle said hastily as she sat up.
"i'm sending you home," hotchner said as he looked at her exhausted state.
"no," elle frowned, voice still raspy with sleep.
"you need to get some rest. you haven't slept in thirty-six hours. we won't do anything without you, i promise," hotchner said, trying to convince her to get the rest that she clearly needed.
"elle, we're not any closer than we were. get out of here. go home," morgan reasoned.
"it's an order," hotchner said in a lighter tone, letting her know that it was just out of concern.
even as she got up and walked down the stairs, she could barely keep her eyes open.
"anderson," hotchner called to one of the agents. "take greenaway home."
"yes sir," anderson got up from his seat.
"no, i'm fine," elle tried to reassure.
"you're clearly worn out. you can't drive like this," hotchner shook his head.
"all right," elle sighed, "come on, anderson."
"get some sleep," hotchner said as she left.
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as gideon waited in front of elle's hospital room, sitting in one of the many chairs available in the hallway, he saw a woman sitting with her head in her knees right next to elle's door. she was as close as she could be without getting in anybody's way.
he wondered who she was. perhaps it was somebody mourning over the person in the room next to elle's.
for hours, they both sat in their respective places in complete silence.
gideon kept his phone close, waiting for someone from his team to call him and let him know that the case had been closed.
a doctor eventually came, and the woman on the floor raised her head for the first time, looking up at him.
"she's gonna be fine," he said with a smile. "you can see her, but she's sleeping."
gideon was about to get up from his seat when the unfamiliar woman raised from the floor and entered the room.
the door was left open, and gideon could see the woman shakily reach toward elle's sleeping face, her movements so gentle and slow as though anything more might break elle like a fragile doll.
she brushed the hair out of her face and moved to pull a chair closer to the hospital bed.
gideon let out a small smile and decided to leave. elle would have somebody waiting for her when she woke up.
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"what's wrong?" y/n asked as she grabbed elle's plate. "was it bad?"
"no, it was great," elle shook her head. "i just feel kinda restless, i guess."
"if you say so," y/n frowned as she washed the dishes.
"four months out of work, i feel kinda useless," elle said as she sat down on the couch. "i feel like a freeloader."
"for the millionth time, you're not," y/n said. "i like spending time with you."
"i just don't wanna feel like a complete bum all the time."
"you're not a bum. everybody needs breaks," y/n tried to reason.
"nobody takes a four month break."
"tons of people need long breaks. especially after what you've... what you had to go through..." y/n's frown deepened.
"i'm completely fine now. i promise," elle tried to reassure as she turned to y/n. "you don't have to keep worrying about me."
"yeah, okay..." y/n sighed.
a beep caught elle's attention.
"it's a text from the bureau," elle said after a pause. "i have to go."
"i thought you weren't going back until next week," y/n said, turning off the sink immediately and turning around to face elle.
"they texted me," elle repeated as she grabbed her stuff and made her way to the front door.
"i love you," y/n said with a worried look as elle closed the front door behind her.
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elle opened the door to the bedroom that she had been sharing with y/n.
it was sometime around two in the morning. elle couldn't really tell.
y/n was on her side of the bed, sitting up and thoughtfully staring at the ceiling.
"you didn't have to wait up for me," elle said as she flicked the light switch off.
"i know," y/n said, her eyes still on the ceiling.
it didn't take a profiler to know that something was wrong.
"how's your week been?" elle asked.
"it was okay. uneventful," y/n shrugged. "what about you?"
"i went to california for a case."
"how'd it go?"
"in the end, the unsub had a knife to a little boy's throat. he lived."
"that's good. you're his hero."
"no, hotch is."
"you're all his hero."
"maybe."
silence. terrible, unbearable silence.
when did things become like this between them?
"i think you've changed."
elle would've laughed if the air between them wasn't so tense and serious. y/n had always been a mind reader.
"what are you? a profiler?" elle asked. she meant for it to come out lighter and less snappy than it did.
"when it comes to you, i can't help but be one, i guess," y/n sighed. "i love you so much, of course i notice things. elle, i've said it before, and i'll say it again. you're the most breath taking view i've ever seen, of course i wanna keep looking at you as much as possible. but... keeping my eyes on the view means having to see all of the sadness that comes with it. you're still gorgeous, elle, but you've changed so much. before, i couldn't even get mad at you for leaving in the middle of a date because your face lit up so much. i knew how much this job meant to you, and how happy it made you when you finally got the position, but now... i hate what this job's done to you. it doesn't even make you happy anymore. you look tormented, elle. your face is always full of so much worry, your body's always so tense, and your smiles..."
"i smile," elle tried to defend, giving a forced laugh to try to prove her point.
y/n finally turned to look at her.
"this is what i mean. you're miserable, elle. your smile's the most beautiful thing in the world, but it doesn't reach your eyes anymore."
elle tried to open her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
"i can't sit here and watch you wilt away like this anymore," y/n got up from the bed and walked toward the door.
"where're you going?" elle finally found her voice.
"honestly... i don't know."
the door shut quietly behind her, and elle was left all alone in the dark room.
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gideon walked down the stairs and saw that half of his team was still there.
"doesn't anybody ever go home?" he asked.
"you're here," elle shrugged.
"exactly my point. you don't wanna model your social lives after mine," gideon said as he opened the fridge for a late night snack.
"if it makes you feel any better, hotch and morgan are gone," jareau said.
"hotch is married, and morgan is... well, they've both got partners to get back to," reid said.
gideon shot a quick glance toward elle, but elle was too busy staring at her coffee mug and sulking to notice.
"so what's this case about?"
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as elle took out the small complementary bottles of alcohol out, she heard a two bits knock on her door.
"hey," reid said with a small smile once elle opened the door.
"hi," elle greeted back.
"are you okay?" reid asked, getting straight to the point.
"yeah, why wouldn't i be?" elle asked.
instead of answering, reid entered the room.
"no, really, come right in," elle said, her lips flattening out into a line.
she grabbed the small bottles that she had gotten out and made her way to the table.
she almost rolled her eyes as reid gave her a confused look.
"what? you wanna check my i.d.?"
reid followed her to the table.
"so... why're you here?" elle asked as she opened one of the bottles.
"i thought... maybe you'd wanna talk," reid shrugged.
"don't go all profiler on me," elle scoffed and shook her head.
"elle, you got shot in your own home, and then you came back to work like nothing even happened. thinking you might want to talk isn't profiling you. it's psych 101," reid said, trying to keep things light.
elle sighed and took a sip of her drink.
"please?" reid asked in a slightly begging tone.
elle gave in and offered one of the small bottles to reid.
in response, he hesitantly grabbed a glass and took the seat across from elle.
"after he shot me, he reached into my wound, so he could write on the wall in my blood," elle paused. "i was barely conscious, but i could feel his hand in there... and sometimes it's like i can still feel it."
reid took some time to think of what to say. "elle, he's dead. and you're... you're right here. you won."
elle kept herself from scoffing or sighing. instead, she raised her glass.
"then here's to winning."
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as lee's body was loaded, hotchner shook his head in disbelief.
sure, the officer had told him that elle was cleared, but hotchner knew the truth.
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"she hasn't confessed to anything?" gideon asked.
"no," hotchner shook his head even though the other couldn't see it.
"well, you're doing the right thing," the man on the phone reassured.
"i know." did he know?
"i'll see you when i land."
"gideon?" elle asked as she leaned into hotchner's office.
"yeah."
"tell him i said bye."
elle fully walked into the office with her gear in hand, placing them down on hotchner's desk.
"this is not an admission of guilt."
"right," hotchner said, holding back a scoff.
"you know, when i first started this job, the sound of my phone ringing, a call from the bureau... i used to get so excited. the blood would race through my veins, but now... that same sound paralyzes me. i'm not the same person anymore," elle said with her arms folded around her. "that day, i was alone in the one place i have the right to feel safe, and that's my home. just like those women have the right to feel safe in their homes. our homes were stolen from us. that night, if i had to do it all over again, i wouldn't change a thing."
"even though you killed someone?" hotchner asked.
elle let out a sigh that was close to turning into a scoff. of course hotchner wouldn't even try to understand.
"garner stole everything from me. my home, and the one person that made it a home in the first place," elle said, her voice so shaky that if hotchner didn't know any better he'd expect her to start crying.
"elle," hotchner tried. he didn't know what to say.
"i guess that's it then," elle said with a slight shake of her head.
she turned toward the door and opened it wide enough to get past it, but she paused.
"you know, when i first joined the team, i couldn't figure out why you never ever smile," she said bleakly. "now, even if quitting the job i desperately wanted is what it's gonna take, i'm gonna go find my smile again."
and with that, elle walked out of his office.
elle to y/n: i'm chasing after my smile. wanna help me?