Glory and Gore

[YAVIN - KAIJU YEAR 15]

Ezra sits with his knee bouncing against the chair leg. His heart has been racing from leftover adrenaline ever since he was unhooked from the Jaeger and removed from his control suit. Thankfully, Luke wasn’t seriously hurt, but he still hasn’t woken up.

Ezra swims in his guilt for pushing too much. They just met! Why did he do this to Luke? He should have known it was going way too far and-

“You didn’t do anything,” a voice says thinly.

Ezra jolts. His eyes dart to the cot where Luke lays with his lashes fluttering.

Luke murmurs, “I’m as much to blame as you are.”

Ezra frowns at the blonde man’s nonchalance. “I fucked up,” he says harshly, “and it was a complete rookie mistake. I should’ve never encouraged you to do something you were reluctant to try again.”

Luke’s tired blue eyes regard Ezra carefully. “I wanted to go in that Jaeger with you. It was my fault for not opening up to you.”

Ezra shrugs. “I understand having trust issues. I used to have my walls up all the time.”

“How did you get past them?” Luke asks curiously, sitting up in the cot.

Ezra definitely doesn’t think about how Luke’s messy hair emulates an angel with a halo.

As Luke rests his back against the pillows, Ezra answers, “I realized that the pain of putting yourself out there is worth it.”

Before Luke replies, Mon enters the medbay. Her movements are so jerky that Ezra imagines a trail of fire emitting from her shoes.

“You’re both suspended,” Mon says, “and I should have never trusted either of you. It was a mistake and an oversight on my part.”

“Mon-” Ezra starts.

“No,” Mon says fiercely, “I refuse to put Luke in danger.”

Luke scoffs, “don’t talk to him like he’s to blame.”

“He is,” Mon argues, “and he’s forgotten how to act with decorum in a military base.”

Luke narrows his eyes, his expression growing sour. “If anyone’s in the wrong here, it’s me, and you know it. Stop protecting me.”

“I promised your mother,” Mon reiterates, “that I would do everything in my power to-”

“Why don’t you do this for Leia?” Luke cuts in. “Why does Leia get to run around here shouting at anyone who provokes her and pilot a Jaeger while I’m sidelined?”

“Because stopping her,” Mon replies slowly, “will make her behavior worse. You’re different. You don’t have her…”

Luke arches a brow at the end of her sudden tirade. “Her what?”

“Temperament,” Mon sounds out, “and it’s a good thing, too. You’re like your mother, but unlike her, I want you to remain alive.”

The following silence is deafening. Ezra squirms in his seat as Luke stares daggers at Mon.

“Great,” Luke’s voice is curt and sharp, “it’s great to know where you stand, Mon. I’ve never felt more alive in that Jaeger, but I’m just a little pet to be caged and groomed.” His arms cross. “No wonder you’re suffocating me.”

Mon inhales sharply, and a blotch of crimson plinks on the floor.

Blinking in a daze, Mon touches her nose.

Ezra stands, his heart rate quickening. “Ma’am?”

Mon removes her hand from her nose. A river moves to her upper lip. A thick droplet is present in her finger.

She turns away curtly and leaves the medbay.

Luke tears off the sheets. “Mon?!” His legs swing over to the side of the bed.

Ezra rounds Luke’s cot as he grits his teeth. A headache ripples between their newfound bond.

Ezra places a light hand on Luke’s shoulder, coaxing him. “Your mind’s fragile right now, Luke.”

That doesn’t seem to be the right thing to say, because he shoots Ezra a dirty look.

“Are you gonna help me up or not?” Luke asks coldly.

Note to self: Luke Skywalker is stubborn.

Since Ezra isn’t the shining example of good judgement, he agrees with “hold onto my shoulder.”

Luke struggles to stand as his arm casts around Ezra’s neck. Ezra’s long unbound hair brushes against his skin, but Luke does not comment on the proximity.

Ezra registers that Luke is shorter than him. Luke’s head bobs close to Ezra’s shoulder blade. Blonde hair dusts Ezra’s chin briefly as Luke adjusts to the aid.

“Okay,” Luke’s eyes widen at Ezra’s cheekbone scars, “hm.”

“What?” Ezra tips his head down, expecting a comment on the scars; he’s used to it, but there’s been no encounters about them thus far.

Luke’s unoccupied hand places his index and middle finger together horizontally. “I have scars like that,” he murmurs, “but they’re on my shoulder.”

Ezra bites the inside of cheek to prevent himself from remarking something foolish about destiny.

Luke nudges his chin towards the door. “Let’s move.”

Ezra guides Luke out of the medbay. Their Force compatibility is the only reason they remain upright and advance without tripping or falling; the wavelength that is heightened in the Jaeger control hub stays stagnant but impossible to ignore.

“MON!” Luke exclaims.

Employees and cadets alike gawk as Ezra and Luke hobble in the hallways. Ezra notes the edge of Mon’s uniform as she rounds a west corner.

A pounding occurs in Luke’s head and transfers to Ezra, but they are steady.

As they bank around a corner, Leia shouts, “WHAT ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS DOING?!”

The woman rushes up in a jumpsuit, which she doesn’t seem to ever take off, and holds onto Luke’s sagging shoulders. Luke tips his head up at his furious sister.

Leia sets her dark gaze on Ezra. “Why are you dragging my brother out of bed after he fainted?!”

“Mon’s not okay,” Luke says weakly, “I need to see her.”

Leia furrows her brows, braids swinging over her shoulders as she snaps her head between their resolute expression. Luke and Ezra must match, because she steps back, hands dropping to her sides.

“Fine,” Leia rolls her eyes as she hoists up Luke’s unoccupied side, “let’s go, hippie guy.”

When Ezra realizes she’s addressing him, he mutters an “my hair isn’t that long” before guiding Luke towards the pilot rooms.

Mon’s private room has the door partially left ajar. Leia has no qualms about plunging into the metal to push the heavy door open.

“Mon!” Leia calls, the running water in the bathroom flowing to garble her voice. “What’s going on?!”

Ezra manages to kick the door closed, effectively shutting out prying cadets. He checks on Luke, who had grown a shade paler on their journey.

As Leia leaves Luke’s side to tear open the bathroom door, Ezra murmurs gently, “are you alright?”

Luke hums noncommittally. “Migraine.”

A twinge hits Ezra’s frontal lobe. He cringes and mutters, “I can feel it.”

“Sorry,” Luke sighs, “I forgot about that part of Force bonding.”

“It’s okay,” Ezra placates.

“Mon,” Leia gasps, “why is your nose bleeding?”

Ezra peers into the bathroom. Mon’s tired reflection in the mirror shows her uniform is spotted with blood.

“Radiation poisoning,” Luke says hollowly, “you have radiation poisoning.”

Mon wipes away the blood dripping from her nose. Leia looks between Mon, Luke, and Ezra.

“I don’t believe this,” Leia breathes at Mon’s reflection, “you’ve been hiding radiation poisoning for years! Ever since you retired from Jaeger piloting!”

Leia steps out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She sends a worried look to Luke as Ezra holds him upright.

“Mon,” Leia’s eyes glisten with hurt, “why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Mon whirls around, bloody nose gone, but does not have time to reply. The metal door bangs like an explosion with the force of a knock.

“MON!” A shrill woman yells. “I have to tell you something right now!”

Mon walks over to a table pushed to the corner of the room and lowers herself into the chair slowly. “Let her in,” she orders.

Leia frowns but does as she is told, twisting the wheel that opens the rusted door. While she does this, Ezra walks Luke over to the chair and ushers him into the spare seat.

“Thanks,” Luke mutters.

Ezra hums and stands near the chair back, sensing Luke’s mental instability flaring up for a moment.

When Leia closes the door again, Doctor Aphra is inside the room. Her leather jacket is torn and her shirt is dirty, her eyes wild and raven hair a curly mess.

“Mon,” she catches her breath as if running the whole way there, “am I permitted to speak freely?”

Mon examines the haggard woman. She casts her gaze to Luke across the table, Ezra next to him, and Leia by the shut door.

She reveals, “Aphra was able to hack a Kaiju brain using Jaeger tech.”

“Yeahhhh,” Aphra chimes as everyone else in the room exclaims, “WHAT?!”

Aphra’s crooked grin betrays her state of mind. “I’m fine,” Aphra emphasizes, “thanks for asking.”

“What did you find out?” Mon asks.

“The Kaiju are a hive mind,” Aphra informs, “the ones coming out of the Breach are soldiers taking orders. They’re not as strong as some of the other Kaiju lurking down there.”

“How did you,” Ezra raises his voice, “if you don’t mind me asking, how did you hack a Kaiju brain when a single pilot passes out from the strain of the Jaeger?”

“Oh,” Aphra sends apologetic looks to Luke and Leia, “I may have fucked up Threepio a little bit.”

Luke sighs. “Why did I give you my mother’s droid, again?”

Aphra smiles sheepishly. “Because you’re a sweetheart who adores my insanity?”

“That’s right,” Luke says bitterly, “I’ll fix him later.”

“At least she didn’t die, huh?” Leia says with a shrug. “That’s a step in the right direction.”

Ezra chooses not to ruminate on the implications of a possible one-pilot Jaeger. He hopes they never have to find out how that would work. It was their most important goal to destroy the Breach, not get used to its presence as it spits out Kaiju and levels cities.

“I remember Han mentioning a dealer he used to hang out with a couple years ago,” Leia says, “his name is...uh,” she snaps her fingers, “Lando! Lando Calrissian!”

“I know him,” Mon sighs, “he runs a black market Kaiju dealership in Tatooine City.”

“Great,” Aphra chimes, “put me in touch with this guy! I need another Kaiju brain in order to-”

“Isn’t that, like,” Ezra frowns at Aphra, “really dangerous? Like,” he furrows his brows at Mon, “you’re seriously not going to put this woman in danger again, are you?”

“Aw,” Aphra wrinkles her nose, “the hippie’s sweet. Don’t you worry about me, honey. I’m tougher than I look.”

“True,” Leia makes finger guns at Aphra, “I’ve seen this woman use a pocket knife to perform surgery on a Kaiju heart.”

“Doctor,” Mon says, “I encourage you to exercise extreme caution. Tatooine City is a wretched hive of scum and…and…”

“Villainy?” Aphra finishes playfully. “I know, Mon. You’ve said that before.”

“At least bring someone with you,” Leia suggests.

“Pilots need to stay on Yavin,” Mon shuts down, “but that was a good try, Leia.”

Leia pouts but does not protest the order.

“My other droid,” Luke pipes up, “the one you didn’t fuck up, Artoo,” Aphra rolls her eyes at the witty quip as Ezra stifles a smile, “I recently outfitted him with blades.”

“Ooh,” Aphra beams.

“No,” Mon says simply. “Take Chopper.”

“Even better!” Aphra exclaims, bouncing in happiness. “I love that murder bot! Oh, thank you!”

“Wrest Chopper away from Hera and tell her it’s on my orders,” Mon instructs Aphra.

“Yes, ma’am!” Aphra stands ramrod straight, gives a mock forehead salute, and wrenches the metal door open.

Cadet bodies pitch backwards and exclaim as she slams the door shut behind her. Ezra rolls his eyes at their immature behavior, but then remembers he would have done the same as a cadet and spied on his superiors.

“Now,” Mon asks, “will you both let Luke rest so I have a moment to myself for once?”

Leia looks ready to scream, but a hardened glance from Luke silences her.

“This conversation isn’t over,” Luke threatens, pressing his palms on the tabletop. As he pushes himself up, Ezra hovers to ease Luke against his side. Luke leans against Ezra more willingly than the previous time, but manages to pierce Mon’s gaze with needles. “You can’t avoid the problem forever.”

Without prompting, Leia opens the door and Ezra moves in tandem with Luke. Ezra focuses on their tentative Force bond to guide them into the packed hallway, where cadets try and fail to seem engrossed in their own conversations.

Leia glares at anyone who gives them a look and paves the way for Ezra and Luke. As a result, they are back in the medbay sooner than expected.

Ezra sets Luke down on the cot. Luke tosses his legs around the bed and gets under the sheets without having to be told.

As Luke’s hair creates a crown around the pillow, Ezra mumbles, “sleep while you can. You never know what’s gonna happen in this place.”

“You should too,” Luke suggests, his eyes refusing to meet Ezra’s.

Ezra swallows thickly, his mind tangling itself in a maze of emotions. “Right.”

As Ezra turns towards the door, he meets Leia’s softened features and crossed arms.

Leia shuffles away to allow Ezra to pass. “I’ll take care of him.”

Ezra bobs his head and exits the medbay.

~

Ezra awakens the next morning to his Loth-cat sitting on his stomach. As he stretches, Katja emits a meow and pitches to the side, crashing onto the bed.

Ezra chuckles as his fingers brush through Katja’s fur. “Not feeling so grouchy anymore, huh? Settling in alright?”

Katja swishes her tail against Ezra’s stomach as she climbs onto the opposite pillow. Her twitching ears and large eyes precede her touching Ezra’s nose.

He grins. “You make my whole day, darling. I love ya.”

There is a careful knock on his metal door. Ezra sits up in bed with a jump and frowns. He glances at the holographic clock and has a miniature heart attack when he learns that he slept through the morning.

Katja perches on Ezra’s vacated pillow while he scrambles out of bed. His socks catch on the ankle bands of his sweatpants, but he holds himself up before he can trip. He untucks a loose side of his white undershirt as he pulls open the heavy door.

Luke stands outside carrying a meal tray packed with twice as much food as he could eat. Hunger registers in Ezra’s mind.

“Uh,” Ezra blinks and squeaks, “hi?”

Luke’s eyes widen. “Sorry. Did I interrupt something?”

“No!” Ezra blurts, laughing awkwardly as he holds the door open. “Sorry, I was just surprised. You can come in.”

Luke hesitantly crosses the threshold. As Ezra closes the door, Luke stiffens. Ezra frowns, following Luke’s eyeline. A bundle under his rumpled sheets works its way to the foot of the bed.

Ezra snickers. “That’s just Katja.”

Hearing her name, the Loth-cat’s head emerges from the edge of the sheets, popping out and looking at them dazedly.

Luke stares at the Loth-cat for a moment. Curious, Katja hops out of the bed and slinks across the room. Her head nudges Luke’s leg, and he looks down while holding the tray.

Luke beams. “Hi! You’re cute!”

Comprehending the compliment, Katja purrs.

“Oh!” Luke looks shyly at Ezra. “Can I pet her?”

“Uh,” Ezra takes the tray from Luke’s grasp and says, “sure.”

Katja has never acted like this around anyone before. Granted, Ezra kept her cooped up for her own safety, but she was an independent cat who only enjoyed Ezra’s company.

Ezra trudges over to the two-person table and sets down the food tray. Luke kneels down and scratches behind Katja’s ear.

“Hey,” Luke chuckles as her tail swishes, “you’re a sweet girl, huh? And so pretty!”

“Mrow,” Katja agrees.

As Luke smiles at the Loth-cat, he murmurs, “I didn’t know you were from Lothal City.”

Ezra had almost forgotten about the latest Kaiju destroying his home yet again. In all the madness, he hadn’t found out more information on what was ruined.

“Yeah,” Ezra scratches his head, “uh, I guess our memories aren’t very specific in regards to places, huh? Where are you from?”

Luke winces as he retracts a hand from Katja. “All around, really. My favorite place, though, is Naboo City.”

“Never been,” Ezra says, glancing at the tray, “so you, uh, got me food?”

“Yeah,” Luke stands slowly, Katja following him to the table, “the thing with that is, uh,” he ducks his head as he reaches Ezra, “they kept, uh,” Luke exhales, “staring at me like I was gonna implode.”

Ezra blinks. “Oh.” He pulls out both chairs. “I used to get stares for fucking up. I don’t even notice anymore.”

Luke takes the offered seat as Katja lingers under the table. Ezra sits and picks up the overripe shuura fruit, studying the sunset pallor before biting into it.

While Ezra chews, he contemplates the way Luke won’t meet his gaze. Luke goes for the bread and tears up little pieces of it. He pops them into his mouth like a bird.

Ezra studies Luke’s thick blonde lashes, the presence of freckles on his cheekbones, the sweep of his golden bangs. He notes that Luke was regaining a bronzer skin tone due to excess rest, a spotting of color present in his cheeks.

After a moment, Ezra muses, “you look better than yesterday.”

Luke’s hesitant eyes dart across the table to Ezra’s. He says gently, “my migraine is gone.”

A swoop of an emotion Ezra can’t identify tumbles from Luke’s end of the bond. A warmth passes between them, and their gazes hold.

“I can tell,” Ezra says amiably, offering a half-smile, “I’m glad you’re in a better mood too.”

To Ezra’s surprise, Luke laughs softly.

“Sorry about yesterday,” Luke says, “I can be...a lot.”

“Me too,” Ezra grins, “so we have something in common.”

Luke’s eyes glitter. “We haven’t really gotten to know each other since we met.”

“It’s this base,” Ezra makes a random hand motion, “it’s never wanting for drama.”

Luke twirls a plastic fork between his fingers. “Have you got anywhere to be today?”

Ezra shrugs. “Mon can’t tell me what to do. And besides, we’re suspended.”

“That we are,” Luke stifles a laugh, “so would you mind if we hid in here today?”

The spark between them returns at the prompt, but it does not ignite into fireworks. Ezra recognizes it as a sign of control on both of their parts. Ezra is grateful; he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if Luke kept messing with his reasonable mind without even trying.

Why did he have to be Force compatible with the cutest guy on this base?

Ezra smiles on default. Katja brushes up against his leg as if asking why he was taking a beat to answer Luke.

“Sure,” Ezra replies.

When Luke’s expression brightens, Ezra realizes that he would do anything to keep that look on his face.