The apartment was filled with a strange calmness, one that seemed somehow anticipation and thin like a layer of ice over a puddle, ready to snap in a million pieces at any given second. And Billie felt like anything she did around the house was too loud, threatening to break it with such force that something bad would happen.
For once in years she had closed the master bedroom's door, enough to leave it a bit ajar, in hopes that anything could bother her wife's sleep. After a week, she finally had managed to get some rest and God forbid her, but she was going to let Dara sleep as much as she wanted. But by doing that was that she was getting self-conscious of how loud she actually was.
Even trying to get tea was proving to be a hard task! Clenching her teeth a bit, however, she managed to get something for breakfast without waking Dara and she sighed in relief once she was safe in their new couch...the massive black leather couch that replaced their old baby.
Billie couldn't help but chuckle because once again Dara had been right, she should have had to measure their living room before buying it, but she didn't regret doing it at all. At least their old couch fit in the tiny office, being there in case of an emergency.
With that last thought Billie closed her eyes, holding the warm cup in her hands while trying to get some of that calmness in her even when it was a bit unsettling. That last week had been a really long one, the longest she had in months, and getting a bit of...peace? was all that Billie wanted. Mostly to reorganize her priorities and think of new ways to make Dara get out of bed. Sighing deeply, she couldn't help but ask herself if she was helping her wife for real or if she was just letting her be in hopes Dara would get better magically...
No, of course she was helping Dara.
Billie felt a groan forming in her chest because of the stupid doubt. She had helped her call her boss, explaining how Dara got terribly sick and she couldn't get out of bed because of it; she had been dealing with not only Dara's parents but with all her sisters, brother, cousins, uncles and aunts that were worried about her suddenly falling enough ill to not even pick up the phone; she had helped her showering, eating when she managed to get down something, and even change clothes. And Billie was pretty proud of it all, to be honest, even more when she got the tiniest of the smiles and the tiniest 'thank you, I love you' falling from her wife's lips.
On top of all, Billie was trying to get ahead with her own schedule from home, since she had to call in too. She had decided it was for the best to do as much as she could like that instead of having to stay away from home for endless hours; she didn't want to leave her wife alone, she was afraid in fact.
Because Dara wasn't sick, Dara was mourning; and as much as it pained her to even think about the possibility, Billie wasn't going to take the risk of leaving and letting something bad happen while she was gone.
In between all those thoughts, the faint sound of Dara's phone vibrating over the nightstand brought her back to Earth. Billie almost dropped her cup when she stood up as fast as she could to go and stop the 'demonic device' about to wake up Dara. But when she got to the door, she heard her wife's tired and sleepy voice raise. Peaking through the door ajar, Billie watched how her sweet bundle of blankets pressed her phone between the pillow and her head to not use her hands at all.
"Yeah," Dara's voice was weak, as if she was falling asleep as she was talking. "No, I don't want to...why? Because you don't pay me enough." Billie frowned at Dara's words, getting in the room slowly in silence to move nearer her. "Of course I understand, but those are my final words...then I'll pass by on wednesday to get my things. Bye."
When the short call was done, Billie was already sitting on Dara's edge of the bed, smiling softly at her and taking from her hand her phone to put it away. Dara moved closer to Billie as soon as she felt her presence, rolling enough to lie on her other side so she could face her wife.
"Good morning my love," it was a mere whisper accompanied by a cuddle, but Billie found herself swooning when Dara nuzzled her cheek into her palm because of that. "Who was bothering you this early?"
"Mavis. I messaged her yesterday telling her to find someone else, I'm done with her shenanigans after five years," Billie felt how her heart stopped upon hearing that. "So... I'm jobless again."
Billie wanted to ask why she decided that all of a sudden, pressure her with questions about everything, but the memories of the last time she tried to put her wife through all of that raised dangerously in her mind. Like a warning but also a reminder that if Dara decided that, it was because she thought it was the best for her. Nonetheless, the possibility of Dara getting worse because of this worried Billie to no end.
Not because they were going to be short on money, no, in between their joint savings in case of an emergency and her current salary they could still live comfortably...they could even live off with only Billie working in fact; but because she was again afraid that not doing something would put Dara more into the spiral she was in.
Dara snapped her out of her thoughts when she managed to intertwine their fingers, pulling her hand to her lips to press a light kiss in her knuckles. She looked so vulnerable that the only thing Billie wanted was to get back in bed with her, cuddling Dara for the rest of the day and nothing else than that. But when she hid their laced hands against her chest, Billie feeling how her ring finger brushed the new scar that Dara would sport from now on there - it was like someone had burnt her there, and at the thought she also felt the faint scent of roses in the room -, she knew her sweet girl had something to say. Dara always did that when she had important things to say, she pulled Billie closer in some way to feel their connection better and gain enough courage to say it out loud.
"Bills…?" Billie hummed in response, using her other hand to accommodate Dara's hair out of her face and then place it in her cheek, caressing tenderly with her thumb there. "Is still up the offer you made me two years ago…?"
For a hot second Billie thought she didn't fully register what her wife was saying, but the next second, what it took her to blink twice, she knew about what she was talking about. Billie had offered to work with her in her show, as part of the team, and that moment had led to the worst argument they ever had, almost breaking up their relationship because Billie's stubborn ass wasn't capable of taking a 'no' for an answer.
However, the offer was still there for Dara to take.
"It is Annie, for you it always has been," she replied, feeling her forwardness pick at her insides to ask a bit more...which she did. "What's with that change of heart, lovely?"
Billie thought she messed up when Dara didn't answer right away, but a soft sniffle along a solitary tear being caught in between her thumb and Dara's cheek told her she just did the correct thing.
"I want to be with you, I don't want anything bad happening to you while we are apart…" Billie's heart broke a little with the confession but she let her keep talking at her own pace.
"Are you completely sure? I don't want you to do something you don't want to." Dara smirked ever so softly to that, mostly because it showed that Billie did change after all, and her free hand went to the one Billie had left in her cheek.
“I’m sure of it, hundred percent,” more tears spilled by Dara even when she kept the soft smirk in her lips. "And I...I, well, I also think it's time to finally heal and overcome my fear to...my powers."
Billie always knew there was something more behind Dara’s aversion to use her powers. She barely used a little percentage most of the time, and now that there wasn’t someone that made her use those powers...Billie was afraid that her wife was about to lock it away and throw the key. But Dara never said anything about it and Billie felt it wasn’t her place to pry...except this time maybe would be what they needed to overcome that incognita once and for all.
Leaning to kiss her forehead first, Billie tried to kiss every inch of Dara’s face to reassure her, to kiss her tears away. It made her wife chuckle and by the time Billie reached her lips, Dara finally let go of her hands to circle her neck with her arms. Hugging her like that, Billie felt the warmth Dara lacked for the whole week started to pick at her skin, which was a huge change after getting nothing but cold and this emptiness for days.
“You don’t know how much I love you,” Billie was careful to not lay all her weight on top of Dara, but she couldn’t stop from kissing her again and again and again to show her how much the decision meant for her. “How much I...I don’t know, I’m just so excited...” It was the truth, Dara could discern that in Billie’s voice, but she could also feel this something that was telling her that Billie was holding something back.
“But…?”
“But how are you feeling, my love...?” Now it was time for Dara to swoon, because the Billie from a few years ago would start to rumble right away, doing a bee line in her thoughts without paying attention to anything else. “Even if you tell me that, you still are bedridden.”
“As if I was run over by rhinos, I can’t lie to that,” hearing Dara being a bit more cheerful made Billie rest her head in her chest, chuckling because her wife also did it. However, her voice dropped to a mere whisper after that. “But I’ll be okay, I just need to…”
“Eat, shower, move?” Billie dared to say, raising an eyebrow, and getting another teary chuckle from Dara. “Sorry, sorry...seeing you like this is...hard. I just want to help you as much as I can.”
The confession only made Dara to look at Billie with new eyes. She fully knew that Billie was doing her best and if it wasn’t for her presence everyday of that week...she would’ve probably gone much worse into the state she was in. Her hands found their way to Billie’s face so that way she could look directly at her and then...Dara only pressed her forehead to Billie’s in a soft knock.
“You already help me a lot, sugar,” Dara moved enough to leave a tiny kiss on the tip of Billie’s nose. She wasn’t crying anymore and that was a good thing, but she still felt her cheeks a bit wet. “But I do agree in the shower par-”
Before Dara could keep talking, Billie’s phone ringed loudly, startling both and making them knock their heads harder because of it. Groaning both in pain, Billie managed to fish her phone from her robe’s pocket and when she saw who was calling, her thumb pressed quickly on the screen to pick up.
“I almost gave my wife a concussion Audrey,” Billie said half joking half worried while checking that Dara was okay. “Is that a new reference for some sexual thi- Well, I don’t need to know right now,” Audrey’s voice was a bit rushed and whoever was breathing heavily by her side, was being loud enough to be heard through the speaker. “I was calling you guys to officially invite you to Damien’s...quinces,” Dara blinked confused at that and Billie frowned. “Quinces? But she’s about to turn sixteen,” in the other side of the line Audrey clicked her tongue at Dara’s words. “Yes, I know, but I’ll call you two later to explain everything better...and check on how you two are doing,” Audrey sighed a bit and Billie and Dara heard her reassuring whoever was by her side in a soft mumble. “I have to make like ten or fifteen more calls...and try to calm Danielle, she had a breakdown over where to throw the party. I love you two, bye.”
Billie couldn’t help but laugh at how Audrey hung up on them, because those days it turned into a common thing to hang up on her. Dara smiled upon seeing her wife being effortlessly happy after all and she let her laugh to her heart’s content just for the sake of it. Like a shot of fresh air right into her lungs, helping her breath better.
“So...how does shower sound like?” she said, bringing Billie back from her fit of laughter. “Shower and...go pick my niece’s gift?”
Billie noticed the tiredness and the sadness still laced in Dara’s voice, but having her take the initiative to do something was better than having her only lying down in a burrito of blankets. So she nodded for a second before pressing a new kiss to Dara’s forehead, exactly where they hit each other, with a new idea forming in her head.
“We can also pick some new clothes and maybe that new laptop for my second researcher and location manager,” and Billie couldn’t help but smile as wide as she could when Dara’s eyes shone with that. “What do you think about that, honey?”