They were sitting in a circle on the stage. Only a couple of the 2012 national companions are missing. Santana and Brittany were known to make an entrance so Blaine suspected they’d be here any minute in order to be considered fashionably late.
Rachel was directing the band kids on where to set up. She wanted this reunion number to be flawless. Blaine thought they probably should’ve had a rehearsal if perfection was the goal. But apparently the New Directions were content with a group text message declaring the group voted song. Rachel thought it was perfect because of Pride Month and all. Blaine was just happy to be doing a pop number.
He was trying to catch Kurt’s eye to point out that Rachel seemed to have shifted back into her animal sweaters ways for this reunion but his boyfriend was deep in conversation with Mercedes, who had just been asked out for the fourth time this week by Sam. They had broken up because she didn’t want to restrict him while on tour but now her tour was coming to an end.
Blaine thought it was rather romantic of Sam to wait until they were both in Lima to ask her out again but apparently Mercedes was on the fence about what she should do. Sounds like she wasn’t sure where her feelings were nowadays. But isn’t that the point of dating? To figure out one’s feelings. Though, Blaine was hardly one to talk since it had taken him one too many months to figure out his own feelings about Kurt.
“Alright bitches,” Santana said, entering stage right with Brittany beside her, “let’s get this show on the road so we can get some Breadstix’s afterward.”
“You’re late,” Rachel told her.
“Lord Tubbington changed all the clocks in the house to military time,” Brittany said.
“Okay,” Artie interrupted. “Since everyone is here now, are we good to go?”
The band kids gave the group thumbs up. So, the New Directions stood spreading themselves out on the stage as discussed.
Rachel, of course, started them off.
“You are somebody that I don't know
But you're takin' shots at me like it's Patrón
And I'm just like, damn, it's 7 AM”
Then, Puck took over to pick up where Rachel had left off replacing her at center stage. It wasn’t often Miss Rachel Berry took a place in the back. Blaine gave her a smile as she brushed past him.
“Say it in the street, that's a knock-out
But you say it in a Tweet, that's a cop-out
And I'm just like, ‘Hey, are you okay?’”
Santana made her way to the front of the stage for the quick, semi-rap of the first verse.
“And I ain't tryna mess with your self-expression
But I've learned a lesson that stressin' and obsessin' 'bout somebody else is no fun
And snakes and stones never broke my bones”
The group had decided they would all supply the many, many, oh-oh’s throughout the song providing excellent harmonies before and during Tina and Artie’s makeshift duet of the chorus.
“You need to calm down, you're being too loud
And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh)
You need to just stop
Like can you just not step on my gown?
You need to calm down”
They all tried to look offended with a palm placed after their chests during the “my gown” part. Blaine had missed the dramatics of show choir performances. Mercedes took over after the chorus to sing the next three lines.
“You are somebody that we don't know
But you're comin' at my friends like a missile
Why are you mad?”
Brittany picked up after her having Sam to provide the echos of her first line. Blaine had forgotten how close the two of them were but Sam was comfortable resting his head on Britt’s shoulder for the remainder of her verse.
“When you could be GLAAD? (You could be GLAAD)
Sunshine on the street at the parade
But you would rather be in the dark age
Just makin' that sign must've taken all night”
Sam got two lines of his own after Brittany. However, Brittany didn’t move from her place in the front. Instead, three members of the New Directions joined her as Sam made his way into the background.
“You just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace
And control your urges to scream about all the people you hate”
Blaine, Kurt, Brittany, and Santana stood together at the front of the stage. Linking their hands together to shout: “'Cause shade never made anybody less gay!”
The whole group sang the chorus together. All pointing at different boys for the “his gown” line.
“So oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
You need to calm down, you're being too loud
And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh)
You need to just stop
Like can you just not step on his gown?
You need to calm down”
Quinn stepped forward after the second chorus for the bridge.
“And we see you over there on the internet
Comparing all the girls who are killing it
But we figured you out
We all know now, we all got crowns
You need to calm down”
With only one chorus left, they sang their hearts out and pushed Mike forward to sing the final line of the song. Even after all these years, he was still nervous about his voice. Though, Blaine had always told him how nice it was Mike just needed to have confidence.
“Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
You need to calm down (you need to calm down)
You're being too loud (you're being too loud)
And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh)
You need to just stop (can you stop?)
Like can you just not step on our gowns?
You need to calm down”
Rachel was spouting out criticisms for everyone as soon as the music concluded. Blaine ignored her, like most of the New Directions (Mercedes was dishing out her own criticisms of Rachel’s performance), and made his way over to Mike.
“The choreography was fantastic, man,” he said, patting his shoulder.
“Thanks, Blaine.” Mike smiled. “Tina helped a little.”
Sometimes, Blaine couldn’t believe Mike and Tina stayed together after high school. The long-distance of Ohio and New York almost killed him and Kurt let alone Ohio and California. Mike had gotten a nice scholarship from UCLA and his decision was easy to make. He was positive about his high school sweetheart and he could make it. That confidence didn’t go away when Tina decided on Brown. They stuck it out for four years and moved in together after college. Both decided to settle in Chicago.
Blaine considers himself lucky that Kurt and he chose to call New York home. He loved their little apartment, even if it didn’t allow pets and he desperately wanted a puppy. Tina joins their conversation by wrapping her arms around Mike’s waist.
When Blaine looks up, he meets Kurt’s eyes and immediately knows the boy wants to be recused from the conversation he had gotten himself into. If Blaine somehow hadn’t gotten that with just Kurt’s eyes, Kurt made a “kill me” gesture with his finger dragging over his neck. Blaine chuckled and excused himself to save Kurt.