Chapter Three
This… this was worse than I had expected it to be. I groaned in pain as Natasha offered me a hand. Since I wasn’t human the former assassin felt no need to hold back when we trained together. It had been a month since I had come to live at the Avengers’ compound in upstate New York. My days were full of training sessions with Steve and the redhead that had kicked my ass yet again today, weapons training with Nat and Barton, who had quickly decided that I was a hopeless excuse for an archer, and political instruction covered by Pepper Potts whenever Tony insisted upon showing me how different gadgets of his worked. Stark had been mildly impressed with the fact that I had some knowledge about technology, given the fact that I was ‘Older than the Capsicle’ as he had so aptly put it, earning himself cruel glares from pepper and Nat. “I’m okay Nat, let’s go again.” I said, bouncing back to my feet on my own. I was familiar with many forms of martial arts, but I had never been allowed to apply it outside of self defense and minor conflicts. Having been born during the final days of the vikings I had been trained as a shield maiden, a term I now found ironic given my new employer. I had fought alongside Grace O'Malley in the sixteenth century, and served in royal courts for decades, but I had never worried about controlling my abilities in those situations, save for my flames lest I be hung as a witch. With Natasha I was learning that control, and not to let my fight or flight instinct cause me to act impulsively. I watched aas Natasha took up an offensive position and waited for me to assume the defensive one I usually did. Without a second thought I rushed the Black Widow, feigning a kick at her chest before rolling between her parted legs and striking the back of both of her knees to cause her to stumble, breaking her stance. Moving swiftly I gave her no time to recover as I leapt upon her, pinning her thighs under my own as I straddled her waist and catching her wrist as she tried to punch me in the face. I pinned both wrists above her head, chest heaving as I collared her throat with my free hand and very slightly warmed up the air between her throat and my hand. “Yield.” She said breathlessly, pride and something else in her eyes as I helped her up. Sam had been watching from outside of the ring until that moment and he stood there clapping. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Romanov surprised before.” He called, chuckling. I grinned triumphantly, though my victory was short lived as the two heroes were called out on a mission. I sighed, left alone in the compound yet again. I was not yet allowed to go on missions with the team as I was still considered a target by Hydra. We didn’t know why they wanted me, but my best guess was that Bucky had reported that I could control fire. If Hydra were able to get their hands on me and weaponize my abilities, countless lives would be lost. I went upstairs to my room, undressing quickly before walking into my en suite bathroom and turning on the hot water. After hours of training I was a hot sweaty mess and my muscles ached, though not as much as they did when I had first begun training. The first day had been the easiest, and I had pushed myself to my limits and beyond. The next day was absolute hell. My muscles had not wanted to work properly and my movements were painful and sluggish. Nat had been merciless in my training, and I was glad for it. I stood in the shower under the hot water, feeling my muscles relax. My mind began to drift, contemplating what had happened to Bucky since he had last been seen. There had been no sign of the elusive man since the battle on the helicarriers between him and Steve. We knew he had survived the fall, and I couldn’t help but hope that he was out of Hydra’s grasp at long last. I finished washing up and turned off the water, drying off and wrapping my towel around my torso. As I exited my bathroom I was greeted by a dark bedroom. I could have sworn I had left the light on. I slid my hand behind the dresser and drew my anelace, a long dagger that was popular as a gentleman’s weapon in the fourteenth century in England. As I stepped forward, eyes darting around the room and a shiver running up my spine, a shadow reached over from the chair I had in the corner opposite the bathroom door. Suddenly the dim yellow light of my bedside lamp flooded the room. Sitting in my chair was none other than the Winter Soldier himself. I let out a sigh of relief. “Damnit Barnes, don’t scare me like that. I’d feel bad if I stabbed you.” I grumbled, gripping my towel tighter. There was no way in hell I was going to let it fall. “You had no trouble knocking me out.” He said, watching me closely. “You were under orders to kill me. Based on the fact that we’re talking civilly I’m guessing that is no longer the case.” I said, laying the dagger on top of the dresser before selecting some clothes to wear. “I remember… not everything, but I remember Steve, and I found this in your apartment when I was after you.” He said, pulling a shoebox from under the chair. I recognized it instantly. “Our letters.” He nodded. “You kept them. After seventy years, you still had them, but you didn’t say anything when I was in the bar.” He said. “Pushing you to remember something that never really had a chance to mean anything significant would have been pointless. You didn’t remember the man you thought of as a brother. A woman you’d met in a bar wouldn’t hold a candle to that sort of bond.” I explained calmly. “Why are you here, Bucky? I’m sure that you know S.H.I.E.L.D. is after you.” “I was looking for you. I wanted to return these. Maybe see how you were holding up. I know that you didn’t want this life. You didn’t want anyone using your powers to hurt people.” He said. I looked down, slightly uncomfortable. Discussing my feelings was never my strong suit. “I couldn’t let anyone else I cared about get hurt. You were held by Hydra for so long, and I had no idea. If I’d known I like to think that I’d have hunted the last few agents to the ends of the earth. That’s part of what scares me though, about this hero thing. I don’t have a strict set of morals like Steve, or carry the guilt that Stark does. I don’t want to hurt people but that’s because I don’t think that I’d stop once I got started.” I told him honestly, and braced myself for him to call me a monster or to just brush off my feelings as was the norm when I disclosed such information. The tall and ruggedly handsome soldier did neither. Instead he stood and approached me, pulling my smaller form against his chest in a warm embrace as a surprised laugh rumbled through his chest. “Only you could think of yourself as a monster when face to face with an assassin.” He said, obviously refreshed by the fact that I didn’t blame him for his actions while under the influence of Hydra. I blushed, my body pressed firmly against his as he hugged me. “Well, the ‘ass’ part of that is right.” I teased, hugging him back. “Let me get dressed and we’ll talk if you want, okay Bucky?” I said, stepping out of his arms. Though my libido urged me to touch and kiss him, it wasn’t what he needed at that moment. He needed someone to confide in that wouldn’t jump to conclusions. I could do that. I went to the bathroom and shut the door. The thought of locking it crossed my mind, but I ignored it. I could trust Bucky, right? When I stepped out again, he was sitting on the bed with his hands folded neatly in his lap. I smiled slightly and gestured for him to follow me to the kitchen. I wore only a pair of thin shorts that fell to my mid thigh and a navy blue tank top over a black sports bra. I walked into the kitchen and pointed to a bar stool. “Sit. I’m willing to bet Stark’s fortune that you haven’t had a real meal in far too long.” I said, pulling out a skillet and turning on the stove. He sat and leaned on the counter to watch me work. “You can cook?” He asked. I chuckled. “Don’t sound so surprised. I’ve been on my own longer than I care to admit. I know how to cook in a kitchen and over an open fire. Cobbler made in a dutch oven over a campfire is better than anything I have ever tasted.” I said honestly. He smiled, and this time it actually reached his eyes, bringing some light to them. When was the last time he felt normal or was able to truly relax? I decided not to think too much about it. I sliced some carrots and put some potatoes in a pot of water before pulling out two steaks to cook on the stove. I steamed the carrots with some butter in the microwave and heated the potatoes on the stove. As I waited for the food to be ready, I turned my attention to Bucky. I pulled a bottle of Tony’s good whiskey from a shelf and poured us each a glass. “We can’t get drunk, thanks to our metabolisms, but we can still enjoy a drink.” I said and sat on the counter. “How are you handling all of this?” I asked him after a moment of comfortable silence. He let out a heavy sigh and ran his fingers through his long hair. “I don’t know, doll. I’m struggling. I killed so many people. Good people. How can I get past that? What if it happens again?” He asked, his voice strained I looked him in the eye. “It wasn’t your choice Bucky. I know you’re feeling used and that you feel weak, but let me tell you something, and you seriously need to listen because this is the only time I’ll say it; you are one of the strongest men I have ever known. You’ve been through so much, more than anyone should ever have to go through, and survived. This won’t break you, and you’ll find peace one day. You are not a monster, and neither is the part of you they can control. You’re going to be alright, and I swear to you that if anyone ever tries to hurt you like that again they’ll have to go through me to do so.” I vowed, a fierce look in my eye. Bucky looked taken aback, and I thought that perhaps I’d said the wrong thing, but then his lips were on mine in a desperate and passionate kiss that robbed me of my senses and lit a fire within me. I kissed him back, matching his pace and fervor. The kiss seemed to go on forever, but when his lips left mine it seemed all too short. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks and bit my bottom lip, glancing at him. “Um…. what was I saying?” I asked, in a bit of a haze. He smiled, this one lighting up his face in a way that made my heart melt. This man was proving dangerous after all. “I um… I’m going to check on the food.” I said, blushing furiously and hurrying out of his reach. I could feel his gaze follow me as I checked on the potatoes and mashed them up when they were soft enough. I stirred the carrots and put them aside as I focused on seasoning and cooking the steaks. “How do you like your steak?” I asked him. “Medium rare.” was his response. As I was cooking, I heard the quinjet land and smiled, though nervous about how the team might react to Bucky’s presence in the kitchen. I decided to make a few more steaks in hopes of winning them over with my food. People tended to be more open to negotiations when they had a full stomach. I heard Steve and Natasha and Bruce and Sam coming towards the kitchen and relaxed slightly. They would be much easier to convince that Bucky was himself. “I expect all of you to bathe before you sit to eat. I won’t have blood on the table again.” I told them firmly as they entered the room. Sam tensed beside Steve as he noticed Bucky. “Um, he is supposed to be somewhere not here.” Bruce pointed out, a bit anxious. “We can discuss that after you all have showered.” I responded calmly. Natasha practically dragged a gapping Dr. Banner up the stairs while Sam headed to his room and Steve Stared at Bucky, who seemed a bit uncomfortable. “You remember.” Steve guessed, once he remembered how to speak. “Not everything. I actually don’t remember most things. Just what happened before I fell.” He told his dear friend, not wanting to get his hopes up. Steve nodded. “The rest will come back to you. How did you find this place?” He asked. “Rogers, I know you missed him, but he won’t disappear if you go bathe. Now.” I told the bloodstained super soldier. Steve flushed in embarrassment and headed to his room after Bucky nodded to confirm my statement. Once we were alone again he looked at me curiously. “Why did you send them out?” He asked. “I don’t need them interrogating you just when you’re beginning to ease up. The shower will put them in a more relaxed and accepting mindset and allow them to react better to your presence here. Instead of being shocked, they’ll make logical assessments of the situation.” I explained, unsurprised that he had seen through my actions. “Thanks, doll.” He murmured, a bit relieved. I didn’t do it out of fear of him or in an attempt to protect the others from him. I knew that he wasn’t a threat to anyone at the moment. Even if he didn’t seem completely convinced of that fact himself.