Did she kiss me? Did she really kiss me? Oh my god. I can’t believe it.
Ellie's thoughts swarmed in her head, mixing into a single lump and immediately scattering in different directions. The cool wind blew pleasantly over the burning face. Night. The dark street is barely lit by the lights, and in the distance the voices of walking are heard. Everything is so far away and at the same time so close. Every cell in the body is tense and ready to move.
That’s really happened, oh, god.
It seems like an eternity had passed since the moment Dina's lips touched hers. When they were interrupted. When Ellie flew out of the bar and found herself where she is now - on the porch at the entrance. The horses snorted peacefully down the stairs. Music and laughter came from the bar.
“Hey”
A soft, familiar voice rang out behind Ellie and pulled her out of her own swarm of thoughts.
Oh my god. Don’t be weird, don’t be weird, don’t be weird
Ellie turned sharper than she wanted and saw Dina's face in front of her. She slowly approached, stepping softly along the wooden porch. There was curiosity and concern on her face. Dina looked into Ellie's eyes, and Ellie tried to avoid prolonged eye contact. The fingers of her left hand gripped the railing tighter.
“Hey”
Pause. A very awkward pause.
“I just… Sorry for running off… I’m...”
Dina got very close, and Ellie stumbled in mid-sentence. A very awkward pause again. Dina put her right hand on the railing and stood sideways to Ellie. A flirtatious and understanding smile flashed across her face. She did not specifically look at Ellie, realizing that she was already embarrassing her. And she obviously liked it. She loved seeing how her behavior resonated with this red-haired girl. Every look, every joke, every contact made sense. It all made sense.
This was a defining moment. It was worth doing something. The one who speaks first - lose.
Ellie hesitated from foot to foot, unable to think of what to say. She knew she needed to say something. Here she is - the girl to whom she has been drawn for so long, this irresistible magnetism. And she - this girl - kissed her, took the first step. And right now she is standing next to her and waiting. Waiting for Ellie to gather herself together and do or say something. At least something.
Come on, stupid, don’t be weird, god...
“Look, I…”
Lost.
“Are you riding?”
Dina softly stopped Ellie's inarticulate attempt to speak first, looking up at her.
“Yep…”
Ellie looked uncertainly at Dina and immediately turned her gaze to the knuckles of her left hand.
“Great. I’ll just take my vest and come back.”
With these words, she literally flew off the porch back into the bar door and disappeared into the sounds of music and the noise of voices. The doors closed slowly, once again separating Ellie from this world of fun and turmoil.
Fuck.
It was so stupid to let Set piss her off. To let Joel piss her off even more. Dina was so close. So prohibitively close that only the pounding of her own heart was heard in his ears. Dina has always been fire to Ellie. Unbridled, unpredictable, and thus so attractive. Attractive and at the same time infinitely inaccessible.
And then came this evening, which turned everything upside down. Her lips. It was like an obsession. Impossible. Perfectly. Overwhelming.
What I supposed to do now?
Ellie shivered from the evening chill and slipped her hands into her jeans pockets. Some couples started coming out of the bar door, laughing and exchanging jokes. Ellie turned away from the entrance and began to walk slowly down the stairs. Below, near the leash, stood several horses, among which was Shimmer's red mane. Ellie walked over to the mare and patted her neck.
Seems we get sucked, buddy, yeah?
Shimmer nuzzled Ellie's shoulder and snorted approvingly.
Yeah, I know.
Footsteps were heard from behind.
“Hey, Shimmer. Do you try to steal your owner from me?”
Dina went to the mare and began stroking her face. Schimmer clearly enjoyed the attention. Ellie froze in place for a second and immediately jumped into the saddle. Once on top, her gaze immediately fell on the girl below. Her face was serene and full of tenderness. She looked at Shimmer and stroked him like a small child, with understanding and warmth. It was a wonderful sight. God, this girl was the best thing ever to Ellie in the last couple of years.
“Okey, rider, take me home, please, I can’t standing on my feet anymore”
With these words, she deftly jumped into the saddle behind Ellie. Heat swept through Ellie's body at the second when Dina's body pressed against her back and her arms wrapped around her waist.
“Are you comfortable there?”
Dina rested her head on Ellie's shoulder and purred “Oh, yeah”
“Okey”
Ellie tugged lightly on the reins, Shimmer stepped from hoof to hoof and headed down the road. Dina squeezed a little tighter into Ellie's back as their bodies began to sway in the saddle. And it was the best feeling in the world. Feel the warmth of her body, the warmth of her hands. This warmth penetrated the skin and spread throughout the body, like light in the dark. It seemed that nothing else was needed, just to feel this warmth. Thoughts from the raging ocean smoothly turned into calm. Another perfect moment.
Shimmer's footsteps mingled with the sound of the street, breaking the silence. Ellie deliberately let the mare walk at a slow pace in order to stretch the road to Dina's house as long as possible. She didn't want to let her go. She wanted to go forward forever, without stopping, carrying this feeling of closeness through the years, until old age.
Here is a familiar turn, the lights of the house appeared in the distance. Ellie begged Shimmer in her mind to go even slower.
Okey, what next? How should I say goodbye? What should I say? If we both dismount, I could stand closer and… kiss her? Oh god.
Desire and fear mingled in Ellie's throat, making it difficult to breathe with every step of Shimmer. She bent her head down, looking at Dina's intertwined hands on her stomach.
The door of the house swung open, and a fat, dark figure appeared in the luminous doorway. She began to approach rapidly. Dina's mother was clearly unhappy with her daughter's late return. Ellie stopped Shimmer when Mom got close enough.
Fuck.
“Hey, Ellie!”
Dina jerked sleepily, lifting her head from Ellie's back. Ellie smiled awkwardly in response to the greeting.
“Thanks god. It’s so late! Thank you for bringing my elusive daughter home, Ellie.”
“No problem”
“C’mon, mom”
“Go. Home. Now.”
Dina sighed and unhurriedly dismounted. Taking a couple of steps forward, she turned to Ellie and smiled softly. Her eyes were sleepy and tired.
“Bye, Ellie” she whispered barely audible and stroked Shimmer goodbye on his wide neck.
“Bye, Dina”
Their figures walked slowly away and disappeared into the doorway. Now this house was filled with warmth and light. The same light that just a minute ago had filled Ellie from the inside through the touch. Dina always filled the space around her with light. It seemed to Ellie that only this light was able to illuminate her best sides and help her become softer.
Night enveloped, covered all secret thoughts, surrounded by coolness and darkness. Ellie was still staring at the house without any movement. She tried to catch the sensation of how the light slowly disappeared inside her when the warmth of Dina's body, her arms and peaceful breathing on her shoulder had gone.
The cold again penetrated inside, into the very soul. On the second floor of the house, a light came on in the room. It must have been her room. Now she will get ready for bed and sleep peacefully without even suspecting that someone is still looking at her windows, shrouded in darkness and cold night.
Ellie, like a thief hiding in the shadows, peered into these glowing window openings. She knew she wouldn't see anything anyway, but she still didn't want to leave.
The light has turned off.
“Okay, buddy, let’s go home”
Shimmer snorted approvingly and began to move towards home. Ellie stared into the void in front of her and thought. Thoughts began to swarm uncontrollably in her head again.
Why she did it? Does she really like me? She likes boys, I know, I saw. Yes, she is always being pretty kind to me. Even flirty. But… I’ve never believed in that. That she could like me… That’s… She just was drunk, probably… But what if… I just gotta sleep it off.
******
The next morning, Ellie woke up with the same thoughts. The day was busy with work and the usual household chores. It seemed that this day dragged on for an eternity. The sun slowly moved across the sky, finally starting to set. As soon as everything was done, Ellie changed into clean clothes - a shirt on a naked body tucked into jeans, sneakers, as usual. Heading to the stable, she couldn’t wait to jump into the saddle and find herself where she had left her cherished warmth and light for the last time.
Shimmer galloped, relishing the unexpected evening run. Here is a familiar turn, here is a familiar house in the distance. It remains to overcome the last piece of the forest to find yourself on the path leading to the yard through the garden. Before reaching the end of the forest, Ellie gave the command to Shimmer to stop. A few meters later, a strip of sunlight began and an open path to the house. Ellie peered at the outline of the house, not wanting to step out of the shadows and find herself.
“What am I doing?”
She dismounted, stroking the Shimmer's neck. There was no one in front of the house, the sounds of birdsong and the sound of foliage could be heard from the forest. It was calming a little. Ellie continued to peer into the distance, not knowing why. Part of her longed to see Dina. The other part wanted to jump into the saddle at once and dash off before no one noticed her. In the end, she remained standing still, keeping her hand on Shimmer's neck.
Two minutes. Five. Ten. Who knows how much more.
Nothing.
Ellie finally forced herself to look away from the front door of the house and began passing from side to side, trying to decide what to do next.
Okay, what’s next, genius? You are here... and? I should go home, just should go home and waiting… for what? She kissed me. I need to know... Oh, god, that’s so stupid. I am stupid. Just go there and say “hi”, okay? No. Don’t go. It’s weird. Just go and...
The door of the house swung open and a female figure stepped out. Black hair, this walk... Dina. Ellie froze in place, immediately forgetting about the dialogue in her own head. Dina held a basket in her hands, heading into the garden. She walked over to one of the trees and reached out, plucked the fruit and carefully placed it in the basket. Then another one. Her figure slowly passed from tree to tree. Then she stopped and looked over the branch at the forest in the shadow of which Ellie stood. Her hand froze before reaching for the fruit. She noticed.
Oh god, oh god…
Ellie's heart began to beat at a dizzying speed when she saw Dina put the basket on the ground and slowly began to approach her. Dina's figure was floating in the rays of light, and Ellie was desperate to think of what to say and how to behave. She was still standing in the shadows and hoped that Dina didn’t notice the panic on her face.
“Hey!”
Dina walked over without taking her eyes off Ellie's. Surprise, curiosity and joy mingled on her face.
“Hey”
Ellie had no idea what to say. She shifted from foot to foot, looking at Dina and smiling embarrassedly.
Don’t be weird, don’t be weird
“What are you doing here?”
“Emm… Just walking around and decide to drop by your place”
“And were waiting a half an hour here in the shadow?”
“Wh...”
Ellie opened her mouth in surprise, and Dina burst into a soft, flirtatious laugh.
Oh god…
“I’m messing with you man, relax”
Ellie relaxed a little and responded with a shy smile..
“Maybe do you wanna go for a walk with me? I know one interesting place...”
Dina's gaze burned Ellie to her core. She wanted to instantly close the distance between them, take Dina's face in her hands, cover her lips with hers and feel their warmth. Dina continued to stare into Ellie's eyes, which made Ellie think that all the thoughts that had just flashed were written on her face. She blushed, lowering her gaze below the line of sight.
“With pleasure.”
Ellie immediately looked up, Dina continued to smile flirtatiously. From the look on her face, she still caught some of Ellie's thoughts.
With pleasure…
“Gimme a minute.”
With these words, Dina flew back to the house, leaving Ellie to stand and blush. Ellie rubbed her nose, stood a little longer, and jumped into the saddle expectantly.
Okay, man, just be yourself. Everything will be okay. I guess...
Shimmer seemed to catch Ellie's mood and began spinning in place, shifting from foot to foot and dancing in a circle. Dina returned a few minutes later, her cheeks glowing pink, her eyes sparkling with laughter.
“Are you still here?”
“Of course I am. What are you…”
“Just you running off sometimes, do you?”
Dina, laughing, jumped into the saddle behind Ellie and immediately wrapped her arms around her waist.
“Oh, okay, you’ve catch me”
Ellie smiled under her breath, almost not embarrassed by this dialogue. Her confidence returned to her, pushing her embarrassment into the background.
Everything was perfect. They were on horseback, her girlfriend was sitting behind her, hugging her from behind, the coolness of the evening pleasantly blew her face, the sun was leaning towards the horizon, the bridle was in Ellie's hands, this moment was in Ellie's hands. She could take them wherever she wanted, to do whatever she wanted. Dina in her saddle. She agreed. She will spend time with her. Don't have to wish for more.
Ellie tugged gently on the bridle, guiding Shimmer forward. Their bodies swayed, and Dina pressed closer to Ellie's back. Everything is like yesterday. The warmth of her body again enveloped and filled everything around. Let it not end.
They turned off the road onto a country road, then turned left, and they found themselves in the shade of tall trees. Dina was silent. Ellie felt her breath on her neck. Sometimes her hands moved around Ellie's waist, looking for a more comfortable position. Or just flirting. It was hard to understand, but Ellie didn't want to. She just disappeared into the moment and caught every touch.
The road turned again and abruptly changed the angle of ascent. Now Shimmer had to literally climb up, and the riders had to lean forward sharply to maintain balance.
“Where are we going?”
“I don’t tell you, you know it”
“Oh, c’mon, I wanna know”
Ellie just grinned to herself again.
“Nope. Almost here. Be patient.”
“I never can be patient, you know it.”
Dina's face almost touched Ellie's neck. This excited her very much. It took quite a bit of leaning back for touch. But she didn't move, leaning on Shimmer's neck, guiding him forward.
Almost here
A few meters later, Shimmer made the last effort and jumped to the top, the road ended. A clearing opened up in front of them, surrounded on two sides by pine trees. Ahead, a view of almost the entire city opened up. The sun was already touching the horizon, painting the sky red and yellow. It was an amazing sight. The glade was full of blue and purple flowers and plants. The combination of blue on the ground and yellow in the sky evoked delight and awe.
“Oh my god, Ellie! Look!”
Dina received indescribable delight from what she saw. She immediately dismounted and headed towards the center of the clearing. Throwing her arms out to the sides, she looked in amazement around and at the horizon, smiling with the widest smile.
“Look at this! This is amazing! Look at this sunset!”
Ellie just smiled under her breath, looking at Dina and her dancing across the clearing. She dismounted and walked unhurriedly towards Dina, her hands in her jeans pockets.
“Why didn't you show me this place before?”
Dina continued to survey the area in amazement. Moments later, she stopped and quietly stared at the sunset ahead, wrapping her arms around herself.
The sunset was really amazing. One of the most beautiful of this summer. The sky was like a canvas, on which some artist from time to time draws a brush, mixing and changing colors. Strokes of red, yellow and blue danced their beautiful dance on this heavenly canvas, mesmerizing and stopping time.
Ellie came up behind Dina and stopped a few steps of her. Silence. Only the noise of the pines and the beating of the heart. Ellie took another step forward, then another, until her shirt touched Dina's shoulder. So close.
“Ellie, this is so beautiful”
With these words, Dina turned to Ellie, and their faces were as close as then on the dance floor.
“The same as you” Ellie exhaled, pulling her hands out of her pockets.
Dina took another half step forward, and now their faces were too close for nothing to happen. Instant. Then another one. They devoured each other with their eyes, burning each other's lips with their hot breath. After another moment, fire flashed in Ellie's eyes, and she took the first step. Their lips finally joined in a passionate kiss, giving vent to the tension. Dina's hands flew up to Ellie's face, pressing her face to hers, as if it were still not close enough. Ellie hugged Dina to her, digging her hands into her back and waist. Impossible. Perfectly. Overwhelming.
The sun continued to set, illuminating two figures, intertwined in a single burst of passion. They continued to kiss, only occasionally breaking away from each other to catch their breath and look into each other's eyes. Hands wandered from faces to back and waist and back. It seemed that if they stopped, this moment of bliss would end forever, someone would interrupt them, or something would happen.
Who knows how much time has passed. It seemed like a moment. Or an hours? Minutes? Years? Who cares. It was a pleasure as long as eternity and moment at the same time.
After a while, Dina was the first to tear her lips from Ellie's.
“We should probably go” she whispered.
“We should…” Ellie replied hoarsely, forcing herself to stop.
“Okay”
Dina pulled back a step, her eyes darting across Ellie's face, and then she headed toward the horse, which seemed completely unconcerned about what happened. Ellie followed her with her gaze for another moment and immediately followed.
The night smoothly covered the ground. Ellie was the first to jump into the saddle, Dina right behind her, and they again found themselves beside of each other. But now it was different. Their bodies seemed to be electrified from the kisses. A little more, and the current will run down the back
Ellie steered Shimmer back down the road, now they went down and leaned back in the saddle. Dina's arms were still intertwined at Ellie's waist, and her head rested on her shoulder. Halfway through, Dina ripped one of her hands off and fumbled for a button on Ellie's shirt. She slowly unbuttoned it and slipped under her shirt, placing her hand on her bare stomach. Ellie shuddered, heat spilled over her whole body. She had never felt this way before. Dina's hand literally burned the skin under her. She just kept her hand in the same place as before, only under the shirt, but it was crazy.
Oh god, oh god
“What are you doing?” Ellie whispered, barely audible.
“Nothing” Dina answered just as barely audible without removing her hand.
The road mercilessly brought them closer to Dina's house, stealing the last beautiful moments of intimate unity and warmth. The path to the courtyard and the house with its burning windows is already visible. They almost reached the end of the forest strip, where only a few hours ago, Ellie could not find herself waiting, hiding in the shadows.
“Wait.”
Dina lifted her head from Ellie's shoulder and hit her neck with her warm breath. Ellie stopped Shimmer by turning her head to the side
“What?”
“Do you wanna come in?”
“What? Now?”
“Why not? C’mon, don’t be a chicken”
“I don’t know… It’s late… Your mom…”
“You’ve never been in my house, right?”
“Right…”
“So… It’s time for.”
With these words, Dina took her hand out from under Ellie's shirt, jumped down and beckoned her with a look.
“Leave Shimmer here, we shouldn’t get caught.”
Ellie felt that she should not be led by such quirks, but how could she resist Dina's charms, especially after such a walk. After all.
“Oh, brother…”
“C’mon, stupid”
Dina grabbed Ellie's arm after she dismounted and dragged her toward the house. Night enveloped their figures, hiding them in the darkness.
We shouldn’t get caught. Keep calm
And now they are on the porch of the house in front of the door. Dina carefully opened the door and peered inside. With her free hand, she pulled Ellie as close to her as possible, keeping the distance between them to a minimum. Several moments passed in this way. Ellie just stood behind Dina, unable to believe everything that was happening and had happened before. Who would have thought that this day would turn into such events.
“Go, go, go...”
Dina suddenly shoved Ellie in front of her inside the house, pushing her in the back. Ellie didn't really have time to look around, bending down and sneaking towards the stairs leading up. It seems that Dina's mother was right in the kitchen, next to them, and was cooking something, humming to herself. Music sounded from the radio, something was fried and squirt on the stove.
“C’mon, upstairs”
At the last second, Dina managed to shove Ellie around the corner onto the stairs before her mom turned around at the sounds.
“Oh, hello, honey.”
“Hi, mom.”
Dina stood pressed against the corner of the wall so that her left hand was behind the wall. She waved it towards the upstairs door, showing Ellie where to go. Ellie obediently went there, wanting to quickly get out to safety. The steps creaked treacherously, but nobody seemed to notice.
Are you hungry?”
“No. I just… go to bed. G’night!”
“Good night.”
Dina burst into her room after Ellie and took a deep breath.
“Whoa… It was close”
A flirtatious smile played on her face. Ellie again felt embarrassment and awkwardness on her.
“Someday I have a hard attack because of you.”
“You love it.”
Dina walked around the room and plugged in the power cord. The room was immediately lit up with beautiful yellow garlands hanging above the desk, above the bed and on the wall by the window. This light was not enough for normal lighting, but it was enough to see what was happening and create an intimate atmosphere. Ellie looked around awkwardly.
“It’s nice here.”
Dina grinned and approached Ellie.
“I know.”
Their lips joined together again, this time slowly and gently, as if for the first time. Dina wrapped her arms around Ellie's neck and slowly pulled her towards the bed.
That’s really happening, oh god…
******
Morning crept imperceptibly and knocked on the window. The sun's rays fell on the floor of the room, illuminating the clothes strewn across it. Ellie opened her eyes sharply.
Fuck
Everything seemed unreal. This room. Last night. Feeling of a cool sheet under the fingers. Dina... Ellie turned her head to the left and saw a shock of black hair next to her. Dina snuffled peacefully, her bare back pressed against Ellie's side. The sheet partially covered her back, exposing parts of her body. Her skin glowed in the morning light.
Ellie held her gaze for a few moments at this beautiful sight, but then returned herself to reality.
Fuck. Okay. Time to go.
“Honey, breakfast is ready!”
Dina's mother's voice came from somewhere below, breaking the silence.
Oh god. Time to go, time to go
Ellie slipped out of bed carefully, trying not to disturb Dina. She grabbed jeans and a shirt from the floor, pulled them on in an instant, and jumped to the door. Slowly opening it, she looked out, trying to understand the level of danger. Dina's mom was humming something to herself again, going about her business in the kitchen.
No, it’s too risky
Ellie closed the door carefully and turned into the room.
Window
She went to the window and gently lifted it, looking out.
Seems okay
A few nimble movements, and Ellie was already downstairs, landing softly in front of the house. She glanced around furtively and ran towards the shadow of trees in the distance. Shimmer grazed peacefully in the same place where he was left.
“Hey, buddy”
Ellie walked over to Shimmer and patted the back of his neck.
“I am sorry”
She stroked the mare's face a little more and jumped into the saddle heading home. It took only a few minutes to get home. Or an hour? Ellie again lost track of time, trying to digest what had happened that night.
I can’t believe in that
Here is home. Ellie took a shower at first, put on clean underwear and a T-shirt, and lay down on the bed with her hand over her eyes. Her head was splitting, fatigue rolling in waves. She lay there for some time without changing her position and trying not to think about anything. Don't think about last night.
There was a creak of the door and floorboards inside the room.
“Joel, please, leave your lectures for later, I need some rest”
Suddenly, the weight of someone's body fell on Ellie, pressing her shoulders into the bed with his hands.
“Whoa!”
Ellie threw her hands back, opening her eyes and saw Dina's grinning face right above her. Heart beat faster, breathing quickened treacherously.
“Now you can’t running off from me”
Ellie gently hugged Dina to her with the only thought of how much she loved her, and that she would never let go of her again.
“Yes, you’ve definitely caught me”