Storge IV - Issues
After being left alone, Alex decided on exploring his room a little more. After all, a single look never showed everything that was there to be seen. Against his expectations to find his desk drawers empty they were filled with all kinds of stationery and supplies needed for school, such as pens, notebooks, and even sticky notes. The closet near the bed held extra pillows and blankets as well as simple bedclothes in warm colors.
While sitting down on his bed he also realized just how soft mattress and pillows were. For one second Alexander thought about just lying down and succumbing to the softness when suddenly Lafayette came running into his room, jumping on the bed without any prior warning. The Caribbean boy almost fell down thanks to the surprise attack but managed not to. Instead he threw one of the pillows directly into Laf’s face.
“Are you crazy?!”
“Aw come on, this was funny!” The French was laughing uncontrollably at this point.
“Plus, the mattresses are so soft and bouncy~ It would be a crime not to jump on them! Bet our sister does this all the time.”
“She is not my sister.” Alex snapped. He did not mean to, especially not at Laf but he could not help it. Gilbert’s laughing stopped abruptly, though the did not look mad.
“Why didn’t you say anything earlier? She even asked us if it was ok.” Concern and also a lack of understanding were lacing his voice.
“You answered her first and completely confused her to a point that I am not even sure if she remembers that she did not get a proper answer at all… At least none that she could understand.
Also… why haven’t you said anything earlier? You know, about the whole ‘who do you identify as’ issue.”
Lafayette turned silent for a minute before beginning to speak again. “We never addressed the topic and it is not like I am certain about anything yet. I am just… confused at times?” Taking a deep breath, he continued without giving Alex a chance to comment.
“I like many different things, I am interested in so many things and lots of them are not exactly considered… manly. I do not know how often I or the way I dressed got labelled as girly in my prior school and even though I do no necessarily consider this as an insult anymore it still hurts sometimes and makes me feel uncertain.”
At this point Lafayette was lying on his back in Alexanders bed, staring at the ceiling and looking the most vulnerable Alex has seen him in the short time they have known each other.
“Listen, your have the right to do whatever you want and be whoever you want to be without anyone labeling those actions as manly or girly or anything at all. Putting labels on anything and everything is a huge problem with humankind, and we have all rights to fight against this issue. Do not let anyone ever tell how or who you are supposed to be. It is your choice and yours only.”
Lafayette had small tears in the corner of his eyes when Alexander finished his little speech. He knows that his friend was not really fully able to understand what he sometimes went through, but he was still right. Knowing that Alexander was on his side also made a warm feeling spread through his chest. Even though they knew each other no longer than a few weeks he knew this was already becoming more than a normal friendship. He saw Alex as his family… and not the kind of he had back in France.
This one was based on love and understanding, not on responsibilities and blood.
“Thank you.” Right now, Lafayette wanted to say so many things, but those two words were the only ones he could choke out through his unshed tears and that was ok. They would have enough time in the future to face their issues together, because they found each other and would not let go ever again.
“That’s what I am here for.” - That’s what family is for – was left unsaid. Contrary to Laf, Alexander almost never used the word family anymore. He already had his little perfect family, even if they were not what others would name so. But it was enough for Alex. Labeling someone else with this term would feel like betrayal in his eyes, even though deep down he knew that it was what he felt and what he wanted.
Both boys hugged each other for what felt like an eternity until they heard Mrs. Washington call them to lunch.