Yes I am what people may consider a nerd. Is that a problem to me? No.
I mean I got bullied for it at school, people telling me I shouldn’t be like this that it was weird. That I shouldn’t be so attached to fictional characters and worlds. But without them, who else would I have?
Right now I’m heading downtown. It’s comic-con day. This only happens in my city once a year so I need to get there on time, not that there is a specific time to get there but basically when the doors open. I need to be there for the afternoon especially. I have a panel.
The train is pretty packed today; more than usual. Filled with not only the usual commuters, with their empty expressions and black suits but this time as well with princesses, knights, superheroes, villains, I see at least five versions of Tony Stark within the same carriage. As he deserves.
People look at me too. I mean people always look at me. Not in the admiring way but in the what the fuck is she wearing way. But not today. Today I blend in with everyone else. People smile at me, some nod in recognition, others avoid eye contact but not because they find me odd, they probably just find it uncomfortable. I do too sometimes.
I’m stood by the door of the train, leaning against the wall, my cape rustles slightly from the momentum of the train as it crosses the city. As we approach the venue, the train gets more and more busy, the noise too.
The train pulls to a halt and announces we are here. Everyone crams out of the doors, you can literally see the commuters relief as there’s suddenly space to breathe again. The outside is even more busy. It’s a swarm of every character ever just moving in a tide towards the con entrance. Imagine the final fight scene in Avenegrs endgame where every superhero ever comes together. That’s what this looks like too. But every superhero being almost every character ever. There’s Sherlock walking besides Marty McFly. Imagine them on screen together. I’d like to see it.
I’m walking besides like five spidermans right now. How do they even breathe in those costumes?
There’s even someone cosplaying as...Tyler Joseph? Okay. That’s cool.
Most people begin slowing as they have to stand in line and wait for their tickets to be scanned but not me. I continue round the side of the building to a different entrance for quick access. Perks of being on a panel I guess.
“Where are you going princess?”
I turn at the sound of a voice. Security.
She stares at me, one eyebrow raised. She’s in all black, only her blonde hair stands out, tied in a low bun.
I straighten. “It’s Queen of Moondoor actually.”
She laughs slightly. The sound is nice, gentle. Her eyes too. Brown, they glow with amusement but it’s not cruel.
She puts a hand to her chest. “My bad. Where do you think your going then your highness?”
She holds my gaze and I hold hers. For a couple of seconds anyway. Then shit. Ofcourse. Being a queen doesn’t give me priveledge to just go on inside. I need to show her my ID and ticket.
“Sorry,” I say quickly. “Give me a sec.”
I’m suddenly a panicked mess. The gloves I’m wearing are no help either, I can feel my hands getting hot and the whole time I can feel her gaze on me as I scramble through my pockets. I finally pull it out to reveal a very creased piece of paper with a barcode and my licence. I hold them out to her and she scans it. There’s a pause as the machine works out whether I am who I say I am.
She nods.
“Looks like this is your kingdom after all Charlie.”
I smile now and wait as she grabs me a special access lanyard.
“Thanks,” I say taking it.
It would ruin my look so instead I just pocket it.
She has a lanyard on too. Her name is Jo.
~~~~~~~
The floor is crowded already.
Not that that’s a surprise. It is every year. Noise comes from every direction.
There’s stools of merch on every side, walls covered in posters and tshirts. There’s mugs and pins lining every display and table. If I had to describe heaven, this would be it. This and a girl by my side.
I check my phone, they should be here by now and as if by magic I hear Dean’s voice just before he pulls me into a hug.
“Charlie!” He exclaims, pulling away. He looks as happy as ever, he’s practically grinning from cheek to cheek.
“Hi bitches.” I say turning to Cas and pulling him into a hug too.
“Hi Charlie,” His smile is more reserved, but I can tell he’s just as happy to see me.
We spend the next hour walking the stools. Me, a queen. Dean, dressed from the 1930s, a character from one of his favourite films- the Untouchables and Cas matching. Dean spends at least ten minutes babbling on about his cosplay, where he got everything from, how long it took to put together. He claims he’s not a nerd. Cas and I know different.
We stop at a stool and Dean buys himself a star trek mug, one for Cas too. Dean forces us to try on these cowboy hats he finds on a display and we spend five minutes taking photos, Dean laughing the whole time. Cas just mouths yeehaw at me with a grin.
When we tire of the stools, we head over to the displays. Imagine doctor who mixed with DC mixed with game of thrones mixed Harry Potter mixed with Star Wars. This is what this looks like.
There’s actual size models of daleks and tardises. I cant help but freak out when I see a model of one of the fighter jets. Dean and Cas wait to the side whispering to each other whilst I queue for a photo. We try on the sorting hat and even get a photo inside the tardis. Even though it’s just a box and not what it seems on TV.
We grab some lunch - burgers of course for Dean and eat that quick where there is space. With a quick exchange, I head to a side room to get ready for my panel and Dean and Cas head over to get front row seats.
I did tell them they really didn’t have to come and see it as they don’t do larping but they’re both insistent to come anyway. I love them for that.
This is when the nerves kick in. I know people love me. That might sound stuck up but it’s not me they love. It’s my character. The Queen of Moondoor. I straighten out my clothes, grab the sword from the shelf and put that in its sheaf. I repin my hair again even though it looked fine before. It’s just the nerves.
“They’re ready for you.”
Jo appears in the mirror beside me. She’s still wearing black but some of her hair has come loose over the day and now falls in front of her face slightly revealing loose waves of blonde hair. She looks pretty.
“Okay, cool cool... just give me a moment.”
We meet eyes in the mirror and she smiles.
“You’ll do great.” I can tell she means it. And it helps.
I dint mean to but I smile slightly and she smiles back. Then with a nod I turn away from her and head out to the stage. The crowd cheers.
It’s only a small crowd. Nothing compared with if it was Benedict Cumberbatch instead of me but its still enough people that the noise sends adrenalin through me. I smile and wave. I am the Queen.
The panel lasts just over half an hour. I talk about my kingdom, battles we’ve fought and won, I then take questions from the crowd and after each answer they clap. Dean and Cas the loudest. The whole time Jo stands to the side, keeping an eye on the small crowd but I feel her watching me. At one point she even does a small curtsy and I can’t help but smile. When I wave my royal goodbye, she follows me as I walk off the stage.
I except her to leave once we’ve got off stage but instead she just stands there.
“You don’t have to bodyguard me now I’m Charlie again.”
She laughs. “I have a question.”
“Didn’t you hear the part I asked for any questions at the panel?”
She shifts slightly and there’s a pause until she says, “this one’s for Charlie.”
She says it so softly, I’m taken aback for a moment.
“Me?“ I cringe. Duh no one else here is called Charlie. My heart suddenly does a small flip. “Okay...”, I say slowly. “Hit me with it.”
She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. Is she nervous?
“Well- I mean, if you’re free my shift’s over in a few... do you wanna maybe get a drink or something?”
I grin. “I’d love to.”