The Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into
Marinette is at play rehearsal. Aurore approaches, flanked by Myléne. Alya sits nearby
Aurore: Is this seat saved?
Marinette: Oh, yeah—
Aurore sits down anyway
Aurore: Jenna Rolan said she saw you at the mall with Jake last night.
Marinette: Yeah, that's... who it's saved for...
Myléne: Jenna Rolan?
Alya stands up from her seat, excited to be noticed
Alya: I'm right here.
Aurore: Jake’s not coming.
Marinette: Is he sick?
Aurore: He's at Model U.N. Or whatever it is this week. You know Jake. Always jumping from one...extracurricular to another.
Marinette: I don't know him that well...
Aurore: Well, he loves to try new things. He just doesn't always stay with them after he...tries them. If you know what I—
Marinette: We're just friends.
Aurore: What?
Marinette: I know you guys used to date? So, if that's what this is about...
Aurore: Oh my God no! Jake and I are totally over!
Myléne: Yeah, he's so gross.
Aurore: He's not gross, Brooke. Friends. I'm so glad. Because, real talk, I would hate for you to think that the reason Jake’s not here...is he's already bored of you… Bye!
Aurore, Myléne and Alya walk away and whisper loudly
Aurore: Jake better not be inviting her to his Halloween party.
Adrien enters with Nathaniel and Marc and stops by Marinette
Adrien: Is this seat taken?
Marinette: I... Don't know.
Adrien is prompted by Nathaniel
Adrien: Then how about I sit here til whoever shows up?
Marinette: Sure… Hey, are you okay?
Adrien: What?
Marinette: At the mall yesterday, you were acting really—
Marc/Adrien: Performance art.
Marinette: Oh… Cool.
Max: Let's begin, people! Curtains rise on Athens...Georgia. The Center for Disease Control.
Alya: (as Doctor Theseus) Now fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws aspace... Bring me Patient Zero!
Myléne-as-Hermia enters with Aurore-as-Sick-Helena
Aurore: (as Sick Helena) (Flat) Cough.
Myléne: (as Hermia) Doctor, why is her cheek so pale? How chance the roses there fade so fast?
Alya: (as Doctor Theseus) She has been attacked in the wasteland. Some say it's fairies. Some say it's spirits. Some say it's the return of the hostile alien race who visited our fair planet one thousand years ago this midsummer…
As Alya monologues on, Adrien and Marinette have a whispered conversation
Adrien: So where's Jake?
Marinette: How should I know?
Adrien: You guys aren't going out?
Marinette: No—
Adrien: REALLY?!?
Everyone turns to stare at him
Max: Mr. Heere! Your script is closed. Which I can only assume means you've memorized your entire part. Please: regale us.
Adrien is frozen in place
Max: Or perhaps you're simply wasting our—
Marc places his hand on Adrien’s shoulder. Adrien rises, speaks quickly, as if possessed
Adrien: "If we zombies have offended, think but this and all is mended / that we have but landed here / while these spaceships did appear / and this weak and idle theme / no more yielding but a dream. ...Or is it?"
Max: Well! It seems the rest of you can learn from Mr. Here’s commitment to the craft… Hot Pocket break!
Marc: You're welcome.
Adrien sits to see Marinette staring at him, impressed
Marinette: You're really into this.
Adrien: Why else would I be here?
Marinette: Yeah... Right... Can I ask you something?
Nathaniel: You can ask me anything.
Adrien: You can ask me anything.
Marinette: This is weird…
SAY THERE'S THIS PERSON YOU PASS IN THE HALL EVERY DAY
YOU'VE KNOWN HIM SINCE SEVENTH GRADE YOU'RE USED TO THINKING ABOUT HIM IN A CERTAIN WAY
FROM THE PERSONA THAT HE DISPLAYED THEN SOMETHING CHANGES
AND HE CHANGES
FROM A GUY THAT YOU'D NEVER BE INTO INTO A GUY THAT YOU'D KINDA BE INTO FROM A GUY THAT I'D NEVER BE INTO
INTO A GUY THAT I'D KINDA BE INTO
IS HE WORTH IT?
JEREMY
IS HE?
Adrien: Is she talking about me?
Nathaniel: Of course she is. We've been activating your pheromones. Keep it up.
Marinette:
SAY THERE'S THIS PERSON THAT YOU NEVER KNEW THAT WELL
Students:
SHE IS TOTALLY INTO YOU
Marinette:
YOU THOUGHT THAT YOU HAD HIM PEGGED, BUT NOW YOU CAN TELL
HE'S GONE FROM A
Marinette/Students:
GUY THAT YOU'D NEVER BE INTO
INTO A GUY THAT YOU'D KINDA BE INTO
FROM A GUY THAT I'D NEVER BE INTO
INTO A GUY THAT I'D KINDA BE INTO
Marinette:
IS HE WORTH IT?
JEREMY?
Nathaniel/Marc/Adrien:
ABSOLUTELY
Marinette:
I DON'T ALWAYS RELATE TO OTHER PEOPLE MY AGE
EXCEPT WHEN I'M ON THE STAGE
AND THERE ARE SO MANY CHANGES THAT I'M GOING THROUGH
AND WHY AM I TELLING THIS TO YOU?
GUESS THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT WANTS TO
I GUESS A PART OF ME WANTS TO, WHO KNEW?
I GUESS A PART OF ME LIKES TO TALK TO YOU
I GUESS A PART OF ME LIKES TO, WHO KNEW?
I GUESS A PART OF ME LIKES TO SIT WITH YOU
I GUESS A PART OF ME LIKES TO, WHO KNEW I GUESS A PART OF ME LIKES TO HANG WITH YOU
I GUESS A PART OF ME—
Max comes back
Max: Hot Pocket break over, people.
Marinette:
BACK TO PLAY REHEARSAL
I KNOW THAT IT'S WEIRD
BUT IT'S TOTALLY TRUE
THE GUY THAT I'D KINDA BE INTO
Adrien:
THE GUY THAT YOU'D KINDA BE INTO
Marinette:
YEAH, THAT
Marinette/Adrien:
GUY THAT YOU’D/I'D KINDA BE INTO
Marinette:
IS… JAKE
Adrien: What?
Nathaniel/Marc: Warning, warning!
Nathaniel and Marc puppet Adrien's body out of rehearsal. He walks off the stage as the remaining cast members remove the props