Somewhere between nervous and okay
“It just me or is Jon doing that thing again?” Tim sat on Sasha’s desk while listening to Jon recording in the other room.
“You mean where he is acting overly cheerful but in a fake way cause he is nervous about something?” Sasha gathered up some of the papers on her desk into a folder before tossing it into a bin on her desk.
“Yeah. He’s been going it since Elias’ eye went gray. Think something happened between them?”
“Probably, considering you are the only one that can see the change. His eyes look the same to me.” Tim had mentioned it to Sasha the day he noticed the change, and it’s been bugging both of them. They’d asked Jon about it, asked if something had happened, and Jon dodged that conversation so skillfully they knew something was up.
Sasha was trying to give Jon space, but Tim couldn’t seem to let it go.
“What is he hiding. It can’t be good if he is so determined to keep up appearances like this.”
“Tim, let him have his space. I’m sure whatever happened, Martin is on it.”
“It shouldn’t be just in Martin. We are his friends too right? He doesn’t have to always be so distant.”
“It makes sense though. Jon’s been severely Traumatized, by people with our faces no less, even if we only know some of the details. Even if he is working on it, his first reaction for either of us isn’t comfort. Just got to let him have space.” Sasha wasn’t happy about what she was saying, but it was something she came to terms with after Jon had told them about the future.
Sure they were friends, of course they were. But Jon’d watched her become replaced in a time that wasn’t, and Tim’s first reaction to learning all this was so in line with what Jon had told them of the reaction in the future. She was certain any separation they could’ve had from the current them and the future them was severed at that time. Now Sasha tended to give off Stranger vibes more often than not, hanging out with Nikki most weekends had that effect on her now, and Tim still tended to treat all the entities hostility, it was practically the same combo that had traumatized Jon in the future even if it was new to them. Heck, it was practically in the same months even. It made sense that Jon didn’t come to them for comfort from interactions with Elias.
Tim didn’t quite share the understanding she had with those facts. She was sure he understood them, he just wasn’t happy to leave it at that. Tim’s urge to protect Jon was probably on par with Jon’s need to protect them from a future he’d lived.
“Earth to Sasha, you zoned there, You hear anything I just said?” Tim interrupted her thoughts.
“Oh, sorry, what were you saying?”
“I was saying I think we need to lock Jon out of the archives till he feels better.”
Sasha gave him an unimpressed look. “I know what you are going for, but that practically like telling him he can’t eat until he tells you what is wrong. He wouldn’t be able to take walk in statements if he is locked out.”
“Shit, you’re right...”
“If we let him be, it should be fine after some time. If you really want to help, sorting some files should put him at ease.”
“Uuuuugh, Why’s it always come down to working in this place.”
--
Jon had to face it. He was getting stronger. Was the Eye favoring him for cleaning up the archives? Was it because he was creating his own archive away from this mess? Was it that Jon had fully accepted his role as Archive that it felt uncomfortable at times to be referred to as the Archivist? Could it be something Jonah was or wasn’t doing? Did Jon choose something without realizing it?
He didn’t Know. And he couldn’t figure out how to slow it down or stop it. Didn’t know if he actually wanted to stop it. But no. He did want to stop it.
Whatever Jon had done to Elias, it wasn’t an extraction of knowledge nor removal. It was a blocker, or maybe a forced shift of focus. The information was still there, just couldn’t be known. It was as though Elias couldn’t recognize the information as he looked at it, and once remembering it was there, it slipped away from him and became forgotten. Only, that something had been forgotten wasn’t under the same rules, so he could remember forgetting something. It felt very Spiral in nature.
There was also the removal of whatever protection the Eye offered to Elias’ mind that bothered Jon. Jon could Look at Elias now like he could any normal person. He could Know Elias with little to no resistance. Was it Elias lost favor, or just simply Jon was stronger now?
Jon took a deep breath and pulled out a statement he’d been meaning to rerecord so he could take it home and file it away.
“Statement of Albrecht von Closen, regarding a discovered tomb near his estate in the Black Forest. Original statement given as part of a letter to Jonah Magnus, March 31st, 1816. Audio recorded to The Archive.”
“Statement begins...”
--
Jon was moping on the couch all weekend. Martin did his best to comfort Jon, and it did work. It wasn’t like Jon was upset and if he could have Martin’s affection 24/7 he would not complain. But there was a but.
They had both talked about the incident with Elias, and it ended up leading to something of an argument? Nothing bad, but Jon wasn’t recovering the same as Martin did. Which would be Martin’s nice way of pointing out, Jon was getting paranoid.
“Are you Watching Elias again?” Martin tossed a blanket over Jon as the nights were starting to get cold, but not so much to warrant more than just adding a layer for warmth.
Most of Jon’s eyes looked to Martin, the few looking elsewhere glowed.
“Yes...I just want to make sure-”
“This isn’t an argument.” Martin could hear the tense tones in Jon’s voice. “He doing anything interesting?”
“Oh...Um, no not really. He was just cooking dinner, hate that he seems to actually know his way around the kitchen.”
“I guess advantages of being around 200 some years then? Took some cooking classes?”
Jon’s eyes lit up as he Knew. “Yes. After the first 90 years, he’d gotten so bored of the taste of food he went out of his way to learn how to cook differently and season food with more varity. Apparently, each of his victims have different taste pallets too so he had to learn how to appeal to each of them.” Jon made a face as his eyes went to normal. “Gross. I hate this.”
Jon barrito’ed in the blanket, as if covering all his eyes could stop the seeing.
Martin let out a fond sigh as he pulled Jon to lean into him. “Sounds gross. Knowing cursed information is kind of our thing.”
“Least you are safe from it. You positive you can’t Know anything about him?” Jon’s voice was muffled from the blanket.
“Not a thing. But knowing isn’t that much a skill of mine.”
The blanket bobbed slightly, which Martin assumed was a nod. “Good.”
“Think your focus this last week could be that he was a blind spot, now your curiosity of the space is at max fixation?”
“Probably. I’m also nervous he is going to do something in revenge. I severed part of his connection to the Beholding. He’s extremely mad about it. If I look away, he will probably be able to feel the shift and start plotting...He’s good at waiting.”
“So, less curiosity and more intimidation then?”
“Yes, no, maybe? I don’t-” Jon’s head emerged from the blanket cocoon he was in. “I’m just worried. It’s easier to watch him than face my real problems. It feels like this was too easy. Things are never easy. Not for me. It has been about a year and a half since- and I’ve- We’ve been able to prevent everything bad from happening. At least into a stable low threat levels of normal. Everyone is in a place where their lives aren’t threatened, everyone is able to relax finally. Not like I want Elias to retaliate, but…”
Jon looked almost like he had when he had asked Martin to Quit with him. “I don’t know what to do from here. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the rest of my- existence now? Serving the Eye was bearable when it was to protect everyone, to change everything for the better. And now that- what is there now? I’m still stuck hurting people. And I’m only getting stronger...” Jon was stumbling over his words a bit.
“Oh Jon…” Martin put his forehead to Jon’s so their eyes met. Martin went to say something but Jon interrupted.
“I’m- Martin I don’t know how to continue this. How long till I’m more Beholding than I am Me? Jonah struggled. With his first victim, he was a mess. But then the second, the third, his biggest concerns became things like if his favorite foods would stay the same, if he would react to tannins the same way?” Jon let out a bitter laugh, his eyes fully glowing again. “Can you believe the only reason Elias is in his position was that the other candidate couldn’t hold their liquor?”
“Jon, you need to stop. Take a breath. You are not like him. Jonah wasn’t a good person before, we’ve both read the letters addressed to him. What you are focused on was how Jonah coped with the fear of getting caught as a body snatcher, not that he was snatching bodies. He wouldn’t have been a mess cause he cared. So stop comparing yourself to him.”
Jon’s eyes stopped glowing but he remained silent.
“Okay, off the couch.” Martin stood up and dragged a very baffled Jon with him.
“Martin, what-?”
“We are going out to dinner. Fancy restaurant the works. I’m taking you on a date, and we are going to talk about boringly normal things. You need to get out of your head for a bit. We can return to figuring out what the future holds after you haven’t been watching Elias all weekend. Not saying you have to stop, but I know you can multitask.” Martin talked as he headed to the bathroom to check how he looked while Jon followed, still wrapped in the blanket. “What do you think about that one expensive Italian place with the extensive sea food section?”
“The place where they will stop you if you are in jeans?”
“Yup, that's the one. I’m feeling overpriced revenge.“
“That might be nice.”
“Might? What if I don a suit? Would that make it nicer?”
“No, though I think that one red button up and vest would be far nicer than the suit.”
“Mmhmm, that is a nice combo. Only if you wear the purple one. It brings out the green in your eyes and I find it quite lovely.”
Jon finally smiled. “I’ll go iron it while you get ready.”