Martin’s guide to dating a fear avatar pt1
“Martin, we have to go…” Jon never realized, well maybe he thought about it, but he didn’t really consider the effects an event where people’s greatest fear at the moment would be stage fright. The fear of being seen, laying yourself bare before a crowd of strangers that will see and judge you. Everything out in the open. The Beholding was buzzing behind all his eyes.
Jon wanted to stay for Martin, but he also wanted to Watch. He didn’t want to appear in any poets' dreams, and he could already tell he would if he stayed. There were a few that were radiating fear. He wasn’t even that hungry being he had two live statements just little over a week ago. This was a buffet of fear, and it would be so easy to break the rules he had set.
“That first poem wasn’t so bad.” Martin didn’t get it. Everything had been going so well so far. And Jon looked like he enjoyed that first poem.
“I was enjoying it. That's the problem…” Jon whispered back, opening a small Eye on his neck hoping Martin would get why Jon enjoyed it. Luckily the first poet wasn’t afraid enough to leave a mark, and this next one prepping didn’t seem to be either.
“Oh -OH. Yeah. Of course. I gotta let someone know I’ll be leaving. I’ll meet you outside?”
Jon nodded and gathered his coat and hurried out, so as not to seem rude when the new poet took the stage. Live shows were off the list for dates.
--
“Want to talk about it?” Martin took Jon’s hand when meeting up with him outside.
“What’s there to talk about?” Jon sounded tired. Martin figured he’d probably spent the last 10 minutes while waiting for Martin berating himself or coming up with a giant mess of guilt about not being person enough or something.
“Well, We could talk about how this isn’t your fault. Cause knowing you, you’re blaming yourself.” Jon hummed in response to that. “Or we are already ready for a date, we could just change locations for it. Someplace that won’t be hard on you? The night is young yet.” Martin gripped a little tighter on Jon’s hand. Something about holding Jon’s right hand made Martin happy. Though holding hands was new, holding the right, unscared, one felt especially so.
“The night is always young if you don’t sleep.” Jon returned the grip and leaned into Martin.
“Oh, if that’s all it takes, I don’t know why I never thought of it.”
“I’m happy to help.”
“I bet.” Martin kept his tone dry before giving into the chuckle. “So, since amateur performances are a bust, want to check out if there are any art exhibits in the area or maybe we could find a nice restaurant? I didn’t get to enjoy the pre-show meal like you did before we left.”
“Martin...it wasn’t-”
“No. Jon, that was a joke. I’m not blaming you at all.” Jon made a noise of protest. “You know it doesn’t bother me.”
“I don’t Know that.”
Martin groaned. “Am I going to have to make you Ask me. Like really ask me so we can work past your moping?”
“I’m not moping….”
“Then ask me if I mind. Or trust that I’m not lying to you so we can continue our lovely romantic night. Gotta be able to have something to gossip about on Monday. You know they feed off gossip like you do fear, right?”
That got a laugh out of Jon. Martin beamed.
“You’re right. I trust you. And we can’t let them starve from not being able to live vicariously through our romance.”
“Good. Now, let's get a meal in us. We can make further plans for our night while waiting on food.”