i hate you but

“What the hell was that, Barnes?” y/n demanded, turning the corner of the street.

“I think I saved your ass, l/n. Do you think those old bats would fall for the ‘I’m an independent SHIELD agent’ shtick?” Bucky chuckled, trailing after y/n as she stomped her feet against the cemented sidewalk.

“They said they would take me to court. What do I tell the judge when they ask me about my living situation; about what’s supposed to be us? What do I tell them, Barnes?” y/n growled, stopping in her steps.

“I don’t know, l/n! I was thinking from the top of my head. Your nephew, he told me to—” Bucky tried to explain his actions only to get cut off by y/n growling at him.

“Ethan? The same one who decided he wanted to call up his grandparents and ask for them to take custody of him?” y/n narrowed his eyes at Bucky, making him flinch away from her gaze.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it when he did it, y/n. He did it a few days before you guys moved to your new place; he did it days after he lost his mom, y/n,” Bucky tried to explain once again, but y/n wasn’t having any of it.

“When my parents died, I was much younger than he was; I was sixteen. When my parents died, I was left with my Aunt who spent most of her days hungover. She didn’t care about us nor did she make sure we even ate! I knew I had a right to get away, but I knew my sister and I had nowhere else to go to so I sucked it up,” y/n, her voice breaking, snapped, turning to look Bucky deep in his eyes.

“Well, he was adjusting to life with you and you can’t blame the kid. Rich grandparents? If I ended up with you,” Bucky quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

“Well, you’re stuck with me now too thanks to that fucking stunt you pulled,” y/n rolled her eyes, chuckling a little. Seeing the way y/n looked as though a weight was pulled off her shoulders, his demeanor softened.

“Look, you can talk it out with the kid, l/n. But for now, I’m here for you every step of the way,” Bucky smiled, placing his metal arm on her shoulder as Allie smiled up at her aunt.

“Do you need a ride back to the tower or did you bring Steve’s motorcycle again?” y/n questioned, raising a brow at Bucky, slinging her arm over his shoulder.

“Actually, I brought the motorcycle, but maybe I could follow you to your place like the good boyfriend I am?” Bucky suggested, a coy smile finding its way to his face.

“Oh, really?” y/n questioned, raising a brow at Bucky.

“I mean, I want to spend time with Allie, plus your nephew told me to be there for you. I know we don’t get along that well, but I told your nephew I would be there for you and I’m a man of my word,” Bucky smirked proudly.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll see you at the apartment. Can I have my niece back now?” y/n questioned, staring at Allie who seemed contently nuzzled against Bucky’s chest.

“I think you’re going to have to pry her off me, l/n,” Bucky chuckled.

“Allie, come on, it’s time to say bye to Bucky,” y/n whispered, trying to pull Allie off Bucky.

“No,” Allie responded, a frown on her face.

“Come on, we’ll see him later,” y/n spoke, trying to convince Allie to let go of Bucky’s shirt.

“Really?” Allie questioned, her eyes widening with excitement.

“Yeah, sweetie. You could play with Mr. Hippo with Bucky,” y/n smiled, earning a slow nod from Allie before she practically leaped from Bucky’s arms and into y/n’s in excitement.

“See you latow, Cky!” she exclaimed, waving her tiny hands as y/n unlocked the door to her car and strapped Allie into her car seat.

“Bye, Allie,” Bucky smiled softly before walking back to where he parked his motorcycle.

y/n, though her mind was clouded with thoughts of how her talk with Ethan go down, managed to keep her focus on the road and the road only. She managed to block out any and all distractions that appeared on the side of the road; even managing to block out the quinjet flying overhead, appearing as though it were following her car.

The drive, considering the fact that she blatantly ignored the quinjet flying overhead, was a peaceful one. Allie didn’t make a fuss about being strapped to a car seat, nor did she whine over the fact that she was hungry; she just sat peacefully in her seat, playing with the tiny stuffed animals attached to the mobile over her seat.

“Alright, Allie, let’s just wait for Bucky real quick,” y/n smiled down at Allie, pulling her off the car seat after unbuckling the straps of the seatbelt. y/n didn’t pay much attention to if Bucky was behind her car or not, but she was sure she’d lost him at one of the stoplights.

“Cky?” Allie looked up to y/n, as though to ask where Bucky was.

“He’ll get here, don’t worry,” y/n reassured her, earning a small nod from the girl.

“I’m already here, don’t worry,” Bucky chuckled, matching y/n’s tone. y/n spun around to face Bucky, a smile forming on Allie’s face.

“Cky!” she exclaimed, reaching for him so she could jump right back into his arms.

“For my ego’s sake, I’m going to pretend that didn’t hurt me a bit,” y/n chuckled, earning a grin from Bucky, “but let’s go upstairs, now, please?”

Bucky nodded, following y/n up to the elevators, through the familiar hallway, and back into y/n’s place. There, he’d noticed y/n added a few more personal touches to the house; that there were snacks on the table.

“Ethan, can you get over here?” y/n requested, her voice firm and commanding.

“Aunt y/n, I-I’m sorry,” Ethan frowned the moment he entered the living room, facing y/n’s gaze. He’d expected her to be mad; pissed off at him for the stunt he’d pulled. What he saw broke his heart more.

y/n stood there, right next to the couch, her face stoic but her eyes welling up with tears. She looked more disappointed in herself rather than at him and that’s what got to him.

“Bucky, can you bring Allie to her room, please,” y/n requested, her eyes pleading with him.

Bucky nodded, bringing Allie over to her nursery, leaving y/n and Ethan in the living room.

“Am I a bad aunt?” y/n questioned, her bloodshot e/c eyes piercing into his dark brown eyes. He shied away from her gaze, not wanting to have to face her.

“No, you’re not,” Ethan slowly told her, shaking his head.

“Would you rather live with your grandparents? Look, I told them I wouldn’t give up custody of you, but do you want to live with them? I don’t want to feel like I’m suffocating you or anything and I want to let you decide for yourself. If you don’t want to live here with me, I’d totally understand it and I’d be fine with—” y/n rambled only to be interrupted by Ethan.

“No. No! I want to stay here with you. My grandparents? They’re rich, but that’s it. When we’re with you, it feels like we have someone who actually cares about us. It makes us feel like mom’s still here for us,” Ethan admitted, shaking his head at y/n’s remarks.

“Then please, tell me, why’d you call them up? Why’d you tell them you wanted to live with them instead?” y/n frowned, a lone tear falling down her cheek.

“I just-I was bitter about having to stay with someone who I didn’t see for years. At least with my grandparents, they were there, in a way. And it kind of piled up with the fact that mom died, dad’s in prison, and the weird part about me not having my own room. I just needed someone to blame for all of it and I somehow pinned it all to you,” Ethan confessed, unable to look y/n in the eye.

“So, what changed?” y/n questioned, her brows furrowing.

“When you went to pick Liv up from Midtown, I was there. The weight of everything finally hit when I heard you tell her that you lost her too. I realized that it wasn’t fair for me to take all my frustrations out on you,” Ethan shrugged, earning a small nod from y/n.

“I totally understa—” y/n’s words were interrupted by a series of firm knocks at the door.