i hate you but

“I can help you with that,” Bucky insisted as y/n pulled several plates from the cabinets under the counter. y/n gave him a questioning look, as though asking him why she was helping him, and he continued, “if you explain to me why you have a teenager and two kids in your apartment.”

“Touché, but it’s actually two teenagers, so ha! You were wrong about another thing,” y/n chuckled before her features softened as her gaze wandered to the closed acacia door down her hallway, “My nephew, Ethan is sulking in his room. Honestly, I can’t blame the kid,” y/n explained. With every word that spilled from her lips, Bucky found himself growing more and more curious over y/n’s current situation.

“How’d you end up with them all in your apartment?” Bucky questioned before adding a quick, “I’m not going to say no offense because that would be a lie, but you look really tired.”

“Gee, thanks. You sure know how to charm a lady,” y/n rolled her eyes, shoving the plates in Bucky’s hands.

“I was quite the ladies’ man back in my time,” Bucky winked, placing the plates on top of the placemats y/n had already set on the glass table.

“I almost forgot you were an old man,” y/n snickered, setting the silverware on the table with one hand and placing Allie in her highchair with the other arm.

“Didn’t your parents teach you to respect elders and learn to answer questions?” Bucky raised a brow, referencing his previous question.

“What question?” y/n spoke in confusion as she buckled Allie into the seat. The toddler giggled whilst slamming her palms against the plastic table. y/n made a note not to leave the bowl of baby food there.

“The one where I asked how you ended up having to take care of two kids and two teenagers,” Bucky chuckled awkwardly, watching y/n struggle to open a jar of baby food. Who knew it would take one jar of baby food to defeat one of SHIELD’s greatest agents?

Before y/n could reply, Bucky didn’t notice the kid from earlier, Jackson as he would soon learn, was seated at the table and responded for her, “Mommy’s on a trip with daddy and Livvy and Ethan are sad about it,” came his petite voice.

Bucky, knowing damn well “on a trip” was most likely a code for something he’d encountered quite a lot, gave y/n a look. She only responded with a sad smile as she poured the contents of the jar into a bowl.

“Jackson, tell Olivia and Ethan breakfast’s ready, please,” y/n requested, earning an eager nod from the boy before he jumped out his seat and rushed to his sister’s side.

Bucky approached y/n, looking for more answers regarding the kids. He knew this might have been the only opportunity he had to ask y/n without the kids—with the exception of Allie who could barely understand a thing—about what happened to the kids’ parents and what role she played in the kids’ lives.

“Please don’t tell me you killed their parents and took them in as your own. I think I saw a movie like that once. It was pretty fucked up,” Bucky chuckled but immediately stopped when he saw the way her face dropped at the mention of the kids’ parents.

“Their mom, she was my sister. I found out a few days ago she died in a car crash and the next thing I knew, the kids were being dumped on me,” y/n spoke, eager to finally explain her situation to somebody even if that somebody was Bucky, someone she clashed with more often than not.

“What about their dad? Surely, he should’ve been the one to deal with the kids,” Bucky questioned, his brows furrowing.

“I don’t know where that ass is right now or what he’s doing. That deadbeat killed my sister,” y/n growled, gripping tightly onto the marble counters. Bucky had no idea what to tell her. He’d never been in a situation where he had to comfort his teammate who not only lost their sister, but had to take custody of the kids too!

Due to Bucky’s inability to speak, and y/n having nothing else to say, they stood there in awkward silence as y/n stacked pancakes onto the plates one-by-one and topping them with a big scoop of gelato.

Their mother used to make the best pancakes and top them off with gelato. She and Cassy got the exact recipe which really came in handy when Jackson asked for “Pancakes, please? The way mommy makes them” when y/n asked him what he wanted for breakfast.

After a few moments of silence, Ethan, Olivia, and Jackson joined them at the table, all silently pulling themselves a seat. Jackson didn’t know why, but whenever his big brother was in the room with his Auntie y/n, there was a somber mood cast upon the room as though there was a rule telling them not to utter a word.

Ethan sat at the farthest end of the table, Olivia took the seat parallel to y/n’s, while her little brother took the seat next to her. Bucky, not really knowing what to do, stood there awkwardly by the countertop before y/n motioned for him to take the seat next to him where she’d also set a plate of pancakes.

He took the seat next to her as the table fell into a state of silence while he ate away at his pancakes as y/n turned to Allie and fed her. He would never admit it to y/n, but her pancakes were beyond amazing. Never in a million years did he think to top ice cream with gelato or ice cream until that day.

“Auntie y/n, is he your husband?” Jackson was the first to break the silence as he stared curiously at Bucky.

“What makes you think that, buddy?” y/n chuckled awkwardly as Bucky kept his gaze to the plate of pancakes in front of him.

“Well, daddy always sits at the table beside mommy and he’s her—” Jackson tried to explain only to get cut off by his sister sobbing, “Livvy, you okay?”

“These pancakes taste just like mom’s! It’s the same fluffiness, same taste, and same brand of gelato for god’s sake!” she sobbed, shooting up from the table and staring down bitterly at the plate of pancakes in front of her.

“Damn it, Liv, she’s trying to replace mom, can’t you see?” Ethan snarled before turning to face y/n, “You will never be as good as mom ever was. Yes, these pancakes taste like hers, but you won’t replace her just because she’s dead and dad’s in prison!” he cried out before bolting down the hall and back to the room he was previously shutting herself in. Olivia’s features softened a little as she saw the look of hurt on y/n’s face,

“It’s okay, aunt y/n. I know you’re not trying to replace mom. He’ll come around,” Olivia tried to reassure y/n that through the sobs as she wrapped her arms around her. y/n just nodded slowly in response to the hug.

“God, I wish grandma and grandpa got custody of us instead!” Ethan’s voice boomed from the room as both Allie and Jackson began crying.

“Mommy’s dead and daddy’s going to jail?” Jackson cried, a broken expression on his face. y/n rushed to his side, wanting to lie to him and tell him Cassy was coming back, but she couldn’t. She was going to have to explain it all to Jackson sometime; she just didn’t expect that time to be at 9:49 in the morning.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” y/n’s voice broke as she wrapped her arms around the crying boy. Bucky knew he couldn’t just sit there and watch the scene unfold. He knew he had to do something; anything! He hesitantly got up from his seat and moved to the highchair where the baby—Allie—was seated as he unbuckled the seatbelt keeping her on the chair as he hesitantly lifted her up with his flesh arm.

“Shh, it’s going to be okay. Your auntie y/n’s going to be here and your older siblings are going to be okay,” he whispered as he began cradling Allie against his chest. He didn’t know whether or not he was holding the baby right or if he should’ve been rocking her, but it worked. She calmed down as her cries turned to quiet babbles.

Bucky nearly panicked at how quickly she became quiet in fear that he’d knocked the toddler out. He held her out again to see if she was—well, alive. She smiled up at him, her big doe e/c eyes piercing into his baby blues. Bucky Barnes was never one to care for kids—not since he became the Winter Soldier—but this was different. A baby, who he was holding in his arm, smiled up at him as she reached for his metal arm? His heart melted at the sight.

“Otie?” she questioned him, her brows furrowing. He took a seat on the chair, not sure if he could trust himself with a baby while he stood up, before chuckling.

“I’m not your otie y/n, kid. She’s a little busy at the moment, but I’m her much better teammate, Bucky,” he smiled down at her.

“CKY!” she exclaimed excitedly, trying to jump up. He readjusted the way he carried her, seating her onto his lap while his hands—both metal and flesh—supported her weight to keep her from tipping over.

“Close enough, kid,” Bucky chuckled, “So, what’s your name?” Bucky didn’t think his morning would lead to this; witnessing y/n trying to console a kid while he talked to a one-year-old.

“Ayee!” she exclaimed, a wide smile on her face.

“Ayee?” Bucky questioned, raising a brow at her, making Allie laugh.

“A-yee,” Allie repeated slowly.

“Al-lie?” Bucky questioned, his brow still raised as Allie reached for his face, smacking her hands against his eyebrows.

“AYEE!” Allie exclaimed happily, clapping her hands to celebrate getting Bucky to correctly say her name.

“Allie, huh? Is that your name, kid?” Bucky questioned as Allie slammed her hands against his face excitedly.

“CKY!” she giggled as he continued making faces for the girl. Never in a million years did he think a baby would feel at ease with his present. He was learning new things that day, he shrugged.

“You can’t be Bucky, I’m Bucky” he chuckled as Allie found herself pulling against his beard.

“Cky!” Allie insisted.

“No, you’re Allie. I’m Bucky,” Bucky chuckled, poking at her squishy cheek.

“I Ayee, you Cky?” she repeated, a smile on her face.

“Exactly,” Bucky smiled.

“So, you’re Cky now, huh?” he turned to see y/n standing there, her nephew—whose sobbing was coming to an end—in her arms as she grinned at the sight of Bucky with her niece in his lap.

“Only because you stink at your job here too,” Bucky scoffed.

“Rude,” y/n mumbled to herself as she set Jackson down on his seat with a ‘you’re going to be okay, buddy’ as she picked Allie up from Bucky’s lap and set her back onto the high chair so she could continue feeding the toddler. As a matter of fact, Olivia’s sobbing even calmed down a bit as she downed the stack of pancakes her aunt prepared for her.